Match #11: Vicious Brawl

The Fighters for Battlefield: Ridley vs Geno vs Megaman

Stock: 3
Items: Off

*A dark chamber. A shadowy man is sitting on what appears to be a throne. In front of him is a feminine figure holding a small container*

??: Sir, the first batch of robo-parasites have returned.

?: Excellent. Allow me to extract the light aura from them.

??: Sure thing.

*?? flips a switch on the contaner. The container begins glowing with intensity, and surrounds ? in a blinding white aura*

?: Whoa... This power... OH SH**!!

*? fires a huge beam of light through the wall of the chamber, creating a massive hole projecting a column of light into the sky*

?: ... DAMN. This is amazing! Tell me you have more of them!

??: Oh, that was only a small taste. *smirks*

?: If I could do that with just a tiny amount, there's no telling what I could do with a large swarm of them! Send out as many of them as possible!

?? Yes sir!

?: In fact, send some of them to the White Lands in the northeast.

??: Got it!

*Fade to black*

*The next morning, Esco's Room*

Esco: Hey, I don't sense the light aura anymore. I. FEEL. GREAT!!

*Esco gets up and starts doing push ups/flexing*

Esco: I wonder if something happened to those light beings... Ah, who cares. Today feels like a good day to go for a walk! *Jogs out of the room*

*Cut to Yesman's room*

Yesman: Argh, 8:00 already? That racket kept me awake all night...

*Yesman exits and sees a blackened Applejack passed out on the floor*

Yesman: *shaking head* Tsk tsk. You partied too hard last night. I'm going to get Metal to ban crazy sleepover parties... *leaves*

*Kevin appears from the right*

Kevin: Hey, that's weird. I thought Applejack returned home last night after the match. Get up you... *nudges her with his foot*

Kevin: Wake up!

*Nothing happens*

Kevin: *Feels for a pulse* Oh crap. I have to find Twilight and Dash!

*Cut to Esco, walking the streets of Smashtopia humming a tune*

Esco: *singing* The smile of dawn, arrived early May, she carried a gift to her home! The night shed a tear, to tell her of... *Turns towards a darkened alley* Who's there?

*Bright red eyes appear from within the alley*

?????: *Telepathically* Hello, pathetic human. I take great pleasure in killing everyone you hold dearly in life.

Esco: Unfortunately for you, those people are already dead.

?????: ... You're the first man to understand me in a long, long time.

Esco: I have nothing to hide; I am no ordinary man. You, however, seem to be afraid to show yourself in public. Come out of there so I can get a better look at you!

*A massive dragon appears from the darkness*

Ridley: Afraid? Hah! There is no fear when you've been nearly killed three times.

Esco: So, what do you want? I'm busy enjoying myself after months of torment, here!

Ridley: I'm looking for the orange death machine known as Samus. I want to exact revenge for the destruction of my empire of space pirates!

Esco: Samus? Oh, she's at the Stadium. If you want to become a fighter, I suggest-

Ridley: I have no time for this nonsense! If you don't bring me to her, I will find her. *Holds up his claw and slowly clenches it*

Esco: Unless you become a fighter, I will not let you have her. *Holds up his fist and lights it with a green flame*

Ridley: You must always make things difficult... Very well. I'll join this "stadium", and finally have my way with that bounty hunter!

Esco: Sure you will. Now follow me, and keep from exposing yourself to the public eye. We don't need to cause a panic.

*Back at the stadium, in Metal's Office...*

Metal: So, what makes you think you are worthy of fighting here?

Geno: I have no desire to fight. I come from the Star Road to warn you of a dangerous threat!

Metal: Bo-ring!

Geno: What?! Sir, this is important! All our lives could be at stake!

Metal: Hah, like I care! I've survived three apocalypses and counting! So... unless you come as a fighter, you serve no purpose to me.

Geno: Fine. I'll enter. Now will you listen?

Metal: Nope! Well, maybe, but you'll have to fight in the Stadium first. Rules are rules. I'll set you up for today's match.

*Yesman enters*

Yesman: Metal! Those damn ponies kept me awake last night, and I found one passed out on the floor today! I want you to ban sleepover parties at the stadium. NOW!

*Metal Man takes out his pistol and shoots a hole in the ceiling*

Metal: NEVER! Now leave, before I smack you with a bronzed bust of Beethoven!

Yesman: Sorry sir. I'm working off of three hours of sleep.

Metal: Besides, I happen to LOVE sleepovers. Isn't that right, guys?

*Camera pans over to several Questers sitting around a table, discussing something*

Garrick: So, I propose we--Metal. We're not here for a AAAAing sleepover.

Deloth: Yeah. We want our back pay, and pronto.

Dragoshi: *Quietly beats the palm of one of his hands with a supernaturally strong stick of bread*

Metal: *Gestures at his collar* Er, uh, both of you should leave now. I have more... important things to do! Yeah!

*Garrick slowly and menacingly loads a blue pistol of his in the background*

Geno: Okay. I will prepare for my match. *leaves*

Yesman: ... I'm not leaving until--

Garrick: You're AAAAing leaving now, SSS power person.

*Garrick shoots, just barely missing Yesman's shoulder*

Yesman: ...Okay, okay! You win, Metal! *Leaves*

Metal: Uh... right! I win!

Deloth: Pay up, bub.

*Enter Esco*

Esco: I have another fighter for you, Metal. He's a bit too large to fit in here, so you'll have to go outside to see him. *leaves*

Garrick: AAAAAA. He left before I could get a bead on him.

Metal: Er, I'm going to just step outside now. But don't worry, your pay is... ... ...PSYCHE!

*Metal locks the door behind him and runs outside.

*Outside, where Ridley is.*

*Metal runs and runs, until he knocks into Ridley and falls backwards. He gets up, only to gasp and whip out his pistol again.*

Metal: AHHHHHHH!!! IT'S ANOTHER QUESTER OUT TO KILL ME FOR BACK PAY! *begins shooting at Ridley*

Ridley: No, you fool! I'm here to become a fighter! *roars*

Metal: YOU WON'T FOOL ME, ALEXIA! I'LL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU CAN TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CURSED T-SHIRT AGAIN! AHAHAHAAAAA! *Continues firing*

Ridley: *sigh* I wonder if it knows sign language...

*The Commentator's Booth*

Esco: Welcome back to Super Smash Stadium! Today's matchup is the Robot Rematch, between Samus and Rockman, with Geno thrown in for good measure!

Crowd *Cheers*

Esco: I will be your commentator for today!

Crowd: *Cheers*

Esco: My co-commentator for today, as always, is... not here. Where is Kevin anyway?

*Twilight/Dash's room*

Kevin: Oh God, they're everywhere! Thousands of them!

*Back to the arena*

Esco: Well, I need a co-commentator...

Digi: Finally! I get to-

Esco: You should know better than to assume that, Digi.

Digi: Yeah, I guess.

Esco: You're not sad this time?

Digi: Nah, I'm used to it.

Esco: Good, then stay used to it. How about Patrick V?

Digi: He's on some personal quest. I don't know when he'll be back.

Esco: Well, great. That leaves just... Yesman.

*Yesman enters*

Yesman: Esco! You better start this match before I spork your eyes out!

Esco: Come on, you're commentating with me.

Yesman: Oh no. OH NO! I got only three hours of sleep last night! I NEED TO SLEEP.

Esco: Too bad. I'm not going to start until you accept.

Yesman: FINE! I'll be your AAAAing co-commentator!

Crowd: *cheers*

Esco: Okay, so this match is between Samus, Rockman, and Geno on N64 Battlefield. Now ENTER, THE FIGHTERS!!

*Megaman flies down on Rush*

*A falling star crashes into the stadium and Geno appears*

*The space where a teleporter is supposed to appear remains empty*

Esco: ...Great. Where's Samus?

*Cut to Samus' Room*

Samus: *Wakes up* Oh crap! I'm supposed to be fighting now! Damn sleepover party keeping me awake...

*Outside the stadium*

Metal: Well, that was quite a misunderstanding, wasn't it?

Ridley: *Nods with a grunt*

Metal: Okay, dragon-that-is-not-Alexia-and-does-not-want-to-kill-me-or-buy-a-cursed-t-shirt. Here's your ID Collar. *Hands Ridley a black collar with green runes enscribed on it* This will give you access to all the stadium's features.

*Ridley puts it on*

Metal: Now go to the Arena. If you're fast, you'll get there before the match starts.

*Ridley quickly takes off and heads for the arena*

*Commentator's Booth*

Esco: All right, people, we're just going to start the match.

*Ridley flies in and perches next to the booth*

Ridley: I'm ready to fight! Now, where's Samus? The metal man said she would be fighting today!

Esco: Unfortunately, Samus hasn't shown up. I will be willing to allow you to fight in her place.

Ridley: Damn it! Fine, I'll take out my anger on these two! *Points to Megaman and Geno*

Esco: Okay. Also, what is that around your neck? It looks like one of those explosive collars Metal keeps stashed in his office.

*Ridley freezes for a moment, then appears to be on the verge of a meltdown*

Ridley: That AAAAAAA... I'll deal with him once I'm done with this match. *Flies down to the stage*

Yesman: Excuse me, Esco, but who are you talking to?!

Digi: He's attempting to converse with that menacing beast. It looks like Metal finally got into his head.

Yesman: Okay.

Esco: There's been a slight change in plans, everyone! Ridley here is going to take Samus' place in this match!

Crowd: *Cheers*

Esco: Ready... FIGHT!

Esco: Ridley starts this match by lunging at Rockman and grabbing hold of him. He's slamming Rockman into the floor again and again!

Yesman: Meanwhile, Geno charges up and rushes towards Ridley with a charged punch. He's... *falls asleep*

Esco: *snaps his fingers* Wake up!

Yesman: *jolts awake* Oh! Ridley spins around and throws Megaman into Geno!

Esco: Ridley jumps up and thrusts his tail down into the other fighters! Rockman is knocked away!

Yesman: Wow, that dragon looks super-pissed... He burns Geno with a giant fireball!

Esco: Rockman recovers and begins charging his mega-buster-

Yesman: But Ridley intercepts him and slashes at him with his claws!

Esco: Geno fires his Geno Beam at Ridley, who's unable to react in time...

Yesman: Finally, he takes a hit.

Ridley: *shrieks*

Esco: Now he's going to show off his TRUE viciousness... Ridley charges Geno, grabs him, and scrapes him along the floor before finally throwing him off the side! We have our first KO!

Yesman: Now he's... *nods off*

Esco: *slams his hand on the commentator's table, startling Yesman awake* HE'S GOING TO ROCKMAN!! We've got a second KO on our hands here!

Yesman: Yes, but Geno revives and smacks Ridley a couple times. Now Megaman's reaching out to grab...

Megaman: Time to take your power! *strikes Ridley with his palm, changing to purple in color*

Esco: Get equipped with...

Yesman: Giant fireballs! He's starting to rain fire down onto the arena!

Esco: But Ridley is unfazed, and sweeps his tail around to fend off the opposition!

Yesman: But Megaman dodges the attack and nails Ridley with a barrage of fire!

Esco: Now Geno is taking advantage of the situation by knocking Ridley skywards with rocket fists! It looks like Ridley is too heavy to KO...

Yesman: Now Ridley retailiates with Tail Thrust again, only to fall right into another one of Megaman's fireballs.

Esco: Geno is caught in the crossfire! He gets his share of flaming death!

Yesman: Ridley lunges at Megaman again, while Geno starts boosting his strength...

Yesman: Geno launches another beam at Ridley, but he hits Megaman too... *slumps in his chair*

Esco: *smacks Yesman's head* You're missing the fight!

Yesman: *gets up* I'M TRYING MY BEST, DAMMIT!

Esco: Well, try harder! You missed Ridley knocking Rockman out of the ring! Now he's flying towards Geno like a nightmarishly terrifying embodiment of pure crazy!

Yesman: Well, if you ask me, the crazy's getting to his head. He just flew right into a Geno Blast.

Esco: He's not out yet! He recovers and continues to bash the other two in his blind rage-

Yesman: But Megaman makes contact with Geno, and copies his Geno Beam! He grabs Ridley and blasts him into the sky!

Esco: You know what this means, right?

Yesman: Uhh...

Ridley: *Respawns, and slowly turns his head until he's staring directly at Megaman*

Esco: Here it comes...

Yesman: Esco, I'm scared.

Ridley: *Crawls off his revival platform and slowly stumbles in a trance-like state towards Megaman, never averting his gaze*

Esco: I see Geno in the back preparing for a Geno Beam, aiming directly at Ridley. He's going to regret that.

Yesman: Now Ridley's just standing there... Megaman holds up his blaster and-

Ridley: RAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!

*Twilight/Dash's Room*

Kevin: *covered in nanobugs* What was that?!

*Twilight and Dash start moaning underneath the black piles*

Kevin: Aww crap. I'm going to go find help, guys! *wades through the waist-deep robot swarm to the door*

*Commentator's Booth*

Esco: Ridley charges forwards and grabs Rockman, gnawing him, slamming him to the groud, stabbing him... He's fueled entirely off of his pure hatred!!

Yesman: Geno steps backwards, away from the crazy.

Esco: Man, Ridley's going all out on this one! He tosses Rockman into the air and cuts him up with his wings and claws!

Yesman: Now he's... preparing for... *sawing logs*

Esco: *Pinches Yesman's neck*

Yesman: WHAT!!?

*Megaman flies off the stage and smacks into the window of the Commentator's Booth, shattering it*

Yesman: OH GOD DAMMIT!!

Esco: Now Ridley turns his attention towards Geno... *grabs a bag of popcorn*

Yesman: *mumbling* Geno uses his Geno Blast but Ridley dodges it.

Esco: Oh, just grab some coffee if you're that tired!

Yesman: FINE!! *grumbling as he leaves the booth* Just got that stupid window replaced again...

Esco: Anyway, Geno approaches with a Geno Whirl, only for Ridley to intercept him with a downwards swipe! *grabs a handful of popcorn* Anth now heth flappin hith wingth and pushes Geno daun into the abyth!

Kevin: Esco! You have to help me here!

*Kevin appears, with a few stray nanobugs still attached to his clothing*

Esco: I'm busy commentating! *shovels another handful of popcorn into his mouth* Now, ith you'll esscuth me...

Kevin: Okay, fine. The match is almost over anyway, I'm guessin- DID Ridley JUST SLAM Megaman WITH A FLOATING PLATFORM!!??

Esco: *Spits out his popcorn* WHAT!!??

*Ridley appears in the center of the stage, the rightmost floating platform between his claws as he swings it around like a madman*

Kevin: Hey! You can't do that! That's Stadium property!!

*Ridley stops for a moment, looks at Kevin, then continues about his business*

Esco: Now Rockman fires a few pellets his way! Ridley's too far into Crazy Fantasy Land to care.

Kevin: *Takes a seat* Now Geno revives on the stage.

Geno: Robot Man, we can't fight this guy separately. I call a truce.

Megaman: Sure thing, Star Guy. Just let me get your power first.

Esco: With quick thinking, Geno grabs Rockman and throws him at Ridley, firing a Geno Beam to accelerate him to potentially lethal speeds.

Megaman: This isn't what I had in mind!

Kevin: SHAZAM! Megaman smacks right into Ridley and both of them fly off the stage!

Esco: Geno boosts while Rockman swing his arm cannon right into Ridley's head, sending him downwards!

Kevin: But Ridley makes it back... only to be spiked by Megaman again! He's down!

Esco: And now, Geno fires a boosted Geno Beam at Megaman when he's trying to recover.

Megaman: Hey! What gives?

Geno: We can go back to fighting each other now. The monster is vanquished.

Megaman: At least let me get back before you blast me!

Geno: That's not how I duel. The conflict should end quickly and efficiently.

Megaman: Grr... I'll show you!

Kevin: Megaman makes it back to the stage with a Rush Boost!

Esco: But he doesn't grab the edge, leaving him vulnerable! Geno uses a powerful blast of magic to send Rockman flying back off the stage!

Kevin: Geno's going to guard the edge! He grabs on...

Ridley: Can't let you do that, Star Warrior...

Esco: Ridley stomps on Geno's face with his foot and lashes out at him with his tail.

Kevin: Megaman approaches the edge and BARELY recovers. He jumps down after Geno!

Megaman: Vanquished, eh?

Geno: I'm sorry, it was a minor mistake.

Megaman: Minor my ass! Now we're both dead!

Esco: Geno recovers with a Geno Whirl, taking Megaman with him.

Kevin: Ridley sits back and watches the fireworks. He seems oddly... calm.

Esco: Yes, perhaps he's just so angry that his sanity has returned, if that makes sense.

Kevin: It looks like Geno and Megaman have stopped fighting. The truce is back on!

Esco: Not like it matters. Both of them are almost dead anyway.

Kevin: Don't jump to conclusions, man. Remember the Ken Comeback?

Esco: Yes, but that was Street Fighter.

Kevin: Oh, look at this! Geno jumped in and stunned Ridley with a Geno Beam, while Megaman grabbed Ridley from behind!

Esco: Could it be?

Kevin: Megaman throws Ridley to Geno, who throws him back to Megaman...

Esco: ... who throws him back to Geno, who throws him skywards, allowing Rockman to finish him off with a fully charged blast from the Mega Buster!!

Both: WOMBO COMBO!!

*Yesman appears in the booth with a coffee pitcher*

Yesman: You wanted coffee? HERE'S YOUR DAMN COFFEE!! *throws the pitcher at Esco*

Esco: Hey, I didn't want any- *the pitcher smacks him upside the head, spilling hot coffee everywhere* GAAAAAH!!

Kevin: Oh crap, the pitcher just bounced out of the hole where the window used to be! it's heading for the arena!

*The pitcher appears on the edge of the arena and shatters over Ridley, thereby stopping all his momentum and keeping him from sailing out of the arena*

Megaman: Have any other ideas?

Geno: Yes. We can die.

Kevin: Since Esco seems to be out of commission, I'll just commentate solo.

Esco: *In background* IT BUUURNS!!

Kevin: ... Yeah. Anyway, Ridley recovers, and he's beginning to thrash the others! SHAZAM!! A powerful blow knocks Geno and Megaman off the edge! Now the-

Yesman: ALLOW ME TO COMMENTATE!!

Kevin: Uhh, are you sure you're okay?

Yesman: I JUST HAD SIXTEEN CUPS OF COFFEE!! I COULDN'T BE BETTER!!

Kevin: Okay... Anyway, the two hapless victims attempt to recover, but Ridley uses a flap of his wings to push them down and away from the edge!

Yesman: Megaman USES HIS RUSH BOOST BUT FAILS AND DIES. HA HA HA.

Kevin: Yeah, you're really starting to freak me out now.

Yesman: IT LOOKS LIKE THE PSYCHOTIC KILLER IS GOING TO WIN!! ANY LAST WORDS, STAR MAN!!??

Geno: *Turning to the Commentator's Booth* Mercy please?

Yesman: ... NO. NOW, TEAR HIM TO PIECES!!

*The door to the commentator's booth is kicked down and Metal emerges*

Kevin: Why don't you just open the door?! Damn, with Esco gone, everything turns crazy!

Metal: Contrariwise, it becomes perfectly sane, Illegitimate Step-son! Now, I have my own six words to share with you. *pulls out a remote with a large red button on it* Goodbye, kidnapper of Samurai Goroh! *pushes the button*

*The collar around Ridley's neck beeps a few times, then explodes, sending him flying off the arena*

GAME SET!!

This game's winner is... Geno!!

Metal: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a purple monstrosity to restrain. And a room full of people out to kill me to somehow warp out of this realm. See ya!

Kevin: Wait! There's an infestation of tiny robots in the ponies' room. Can you fix that?

Metal: I'll throw some dynamite in there and call it a day... later, that is! *leaves*

Esco: *Wakes up* What happened?

Yesman: Oh, you just passed out from your horrific burn injuries. SERVES YOU RIGHT!

Esco: Ugh... so who won?

Kevin: Geno.

Esco: Oh. I guess we should start the interviews, then.

*Stadium Locker Room*

Mash: Thanks, Esco! Now, I'm here wit-

Esco: Wait, did you just call me by my actual name?

Mash: I... er... yes. Now that I know what true insanity looks like, you don't seem to scare me anymore. Anyway, I'm here with Geno. What do you have to say about this match?

Geno: I got lucky at the end. I thought for sure that I was going to die.

Mash: You do know that you can't actually die in Smash Bros., right?

Geno: Wait, what? I freaked out for nothing?

Mash: Yeah.

Geno: *Pulls his hat down over his face and walks slowly offscreen*

Mash: Anyway, I'm going to go interview Megaman now. So, Megaman, how-

*The Megaman Theme Song starts playing at mind-deafening levels*

Megaman: DOO DOO DOO DOOOO, SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT!! DOO DOO DOO DOOOO, MEGA MAN!!

Mash: GAAAH!! *camera cuts out*

Kevin: That's an odd way to react to losing. Hey, where's Esco?

*The camera comes back on, showing off THE DUNGEON*

Esco: I'm here, in the dungeon chamber, with Ridley. *Pans out to show Ridley trapped inside what looks like a bird cage* So tell us, Ridley, what did you think of losing?

*Silence*

Esco: Really? Why is that?

*More silence*

Esco: Oh, okay. For a second I thought you were talking about starting another genocide.

*Even more silence*

Esco: Okay, that about does it here. Back to you guys!

Yesman: Weirdo.

Kevin: Okay, I think that about does it for this match. We'll see you later!

*Back to THE DUNGEON*

Esco: Good, the camera's off and Metal's not around to hear us. So, you want to exact revenge on Metal?

Ridley: I wish to slaughter his entire planet.

Esco: He... already did that himself. Anyway, I'm going to get you out of here soon, and then we can exact revenge together.

Ridley: Ally with you? Hah! Stop fooling around. You don't know who you're dealing with here.

Esco: Yes I do. Plus, we both share our intense hatred of Metal.

Ridley: That's not enough.

Esco: And I can do this:

*Esco raises his hand and telepathically unlocks the cage, then closes it before Ridley can react*

Esco: I could even pull some strings to, you know, let you fight Samus in the arena.

Ridley: Fine, but only until Metal is disposed of.

Esco: It's a deal.

*4 hours later, at the Stadium Medical Center*

Kevin: So, how are they doing?

Dr. Mario: Well, the purple one still has-a problems, but the others should a-be fine.

Kevin: That's good news to hear. So, what about those bug robots?

Dr. Mario: I a-sent some of them-a to the Science Lab for examination-a.

Kevin: Okay. Well, I'll see you later, Stanley. *exits*

*Fade to almost-black as a familiar scene with four dark figures appears*

?: I have some good news for all of you. As a result of a certain someone's amazing invention, I have become much stronger than I have ever imagined!

???: How does this benefit us?

?: It brings me one step closer to my goal-

???: Yes, but how does it benefit the other members?

??: Don't interrupt Number One, especially not with a criticising question like that!

?: Yes, lowly servant, just act like the others and follow me blindly without so much as a single doubting thought!

???: *sigh* Yes master...

????: Number one! The weapon you requested is finished!

?: FORGET THE WEAPON!!

????: W-what? But sir, this-

?: With my powers, I no longer NEED the weapon to dominate the battlefield!

??: Sir, maybe you don't need it, but us non-superiors need to be able to put up a fight.

?: You still have your suit, right?

??: Right.

?: Use that.

????: But sir, this weapon will just serve to make our lives even easier! Isn't that what you want?

?: Fine, since you want to use the weapon so badly, YOU pilot it. Just stay out of my way.

????: Very well. So, when are we going to make our attack?

?: Very soon. I'm just waiting for my army of bug-minions to return from the north...

???: Wait, you don't mean...?

?: Yes. The White Lands. My former homeland. Heh heh heh...

??: I personally love it! It's so evil!

?: Yes you do. On that note, you are dismissed!

*The figures leave the room one by one, while fading to black*