Match #13: Time Cop Trouble

?: It has been a long time, Autumnus.

Autumnus: Yes it has, Arbiter.

Arbiter: Long ago, Metal Man evaded us both and destroyed more than half of our organization.

Autumnus: And that Panzer... she helped release Evil Wolfman and then seal us off from our most hated enemy.

Arbiter: A class IV Time Felon.

Autumnus: He's there, though. In that other realm.

Arbiter: What of the one in the world next to SSQ?

Autumnus: The Tridux world? That one is sealed off.

Arbiter: Are you sure we should go after the one in the SSS 2 world?

Autumnus: How else are we to get a lock on him and erase him from time?

Arbiter: Your logic compiles correctly. I will scramble the interdimensional portals.

Autumnus: Let's do this quietly. There are other beings there who also want them dead. If we fail, they shouldn't be accidentally destroyed in the crossfire.

Arbiter: I have already compensated the portal to avoid their notice.

Autumnus: Good. It's about time I met this annoyance personally. He may have destroyed Ael and Dredd, but I am neither of those. Time comes to me... nothing is forever.

Arbiter: The portal is open. Good luck, Leader.

Autumnus: Luck is mine to meld as I see fit. *Warps reality with a staff* I am going now.

*Autumnus folds inwards on himself and disappears*

*Metal Man is in his office, slowly dusting off the shelves. He passes by a Blue Kirby who seems to be snoring on one of them.*

Metal Man: Ah, Gibby... if only you'd awaken from your 10,000 year sleep. You could have been useful against those other Questers.

*Metal turns and looks to the broken, bullet-hole-filled other half of the office.*

Metal Man: I almost wouldn't have gotten them to leave had I not accidentally let slip one of the treasure worlds I was going to raid. Curses. They've probably stolen all the money from that instance of the Crash Bandicoot dimension. Only in worlds like that do idiots openly leave huge gems laying all over the place.

*"Gibby" continues snoring, as Metal Man goes to sit on his desk. He flips out the Smash Dex.*

Metal Man: Smash Dex, tell me. Just what kind of crazy adventure am I due for here?

Smash Dex: *BEEP!* Multiple people wanting to kill you inbound. Prepare for expository explosion.

Metal Man: Oh no! The exposition police! I've got to get out of here!

*Yesman opens the door to the office.*

Yesman: Sir! Dynamiting the ponies did not-

Metal Man: Not now, I've gotta fly! *Leaps out a window*

Yesman: ... revive them...

*Suddenly, a huge warp opens up, slicing Metal's desk in two. Out comes an aged looking man with a staff, white hair, some futuristic blue-and-gray battle armor, and wrought-iron rusted boots.*

Autumnus: I am Autumnus. You will bring me to the one known as Metal Man... or you will be sent to the center of time, never to be heard from again.

Yesman: I, er, uh...

Autumnus: You dare stutter in the face of a Time Lord? *Raises his staff*

Yesman: Eh, erh, uhhh...

Autumnus: You will be the first to die for your intransigence! To the center of time with yo-

*Gibby rolls over and falls onto Autumnus' face. The Kirby is still sleeping.*

Autumnus: Bah! *Throws Gibby to the side* Now, to...

*Autumnus sees the Metal Man-shaped hole in the wall*

Autumnus: ... follow that felon. You are pardoned for your foolishness... but only because I should have known that coward would leap out the nearest available window.

*Autumnus summons a sphere of time energy and obliterates the window, then levitates out.*

Yesman: ...!!! I have to tell the others! *Runs off*

*Out front of the Stadium; Pat stands in front of a random fountain, looking at the blue sky.*

Pat: Ahhh, a beautiful day in front of the Stadium. No Hyperion, no Bobs, and no Powers to worry about. Just nice clean air and...

*Metal Man lands on the ground with a loud crash, smashing the fountain and drenching Pat.*

Pat: ... that maniac who followed me to SSS after I made the mistake of visiting his Stadium.

Metal: No time to talk now, Pat. Crazy Time Cops are gonna kill me!

Pat: Riiiiight. And I'm wanted in the Principality of Narnia.

*Metal runs away. Pat is then knocked over by a huge blue beam which burns off one of the shoulders of his shirt.*

Pat: OOF! And what was THAT?

Autumnus: The righteous justice of a Time Cop. Do try not to get in my way, or your arms might wind up in a different time zone.

Pat: Bwa?

*Autumnus floats by Pat. Autumnus is riding some sort of stream of Time Energy as he chases Metal Man.*

Pat: ... ...I don't want to know. *Walks inside.*

*Esco is at a dark alley of the Stadium, with Ridley.*

Esco: Now, it's time to set our plan into motion...

Ridley: Wait a minute. Waaiiiit a minute. Didn't you say something about a history log you found?

Esco: What, that one that said he cannot be killed? I wanted you to treat this mission seriously, so I made that part up.

Ridley: When am I NOT serious about killing evil beings in power suits?

Esco: ... Right. As I was saying, you stand here and attack Metal when he appears, and I'll take him by surprise with-

*A blue laser beam suddenly explodes a corner of the alley, and Metal runs through, trampling Ridley in the process.*

Ridley: Guh... was that really him?

Esco: Yes, and I seriously doubt that laser was a good sign-

*Autumnus walks into the alley, pointing his staff at Esco and Ridley.*

Autumnus: The Time Bandit has run this way. Tell me which direction he went in or I will go back in time and destroy your parents.

Ridley: ...

Esco: . . .

Ridley: *Whispering* Maybe we should let him kill Metal, he seems better at this sort of thing.

Esco: *Whispering* Don't be ridiculous, we deserve to kill him, not some upstart in a blue skirt.

Autumnus: *Inexplicably now next to Ridley and Esco and whispering to them both* Maybe we should work together to kill him.

Esco: *Whispering* Yeah, that's a good id--GAH!

Autumnus: Don't act like you can hide from me. I can warp through time and figure it out one way or another. Your attempt fails, by the way.

Esco: What?

Autumnus: You kill him, but that's never going to happen because I will kill him first.

Esco: *clenches fists* You self-serving asshole... You will pay for insulting my honor that way!

Autumnus: I'm afraid I won't.

*Autumnus taps Esco, and he suddenly stops in time.*

Autumnus: Since you made me waste so much juice going into the present, I checked whether you were going to interfere or not, and where he actually went. Annoying whelp.

Ridley: Well, don't worry, I'm not interested in messing with you.

Autumnus: Of course you aren't. You'll just be my bait.

Ridley: Whaaa-GAAK!!

*Ridley contorts in a grotesque fashion and vanishes into subspace*

*Metal keeps running. He eventually stops at a hill... and stands there.*

Metal: Joke's on you, Time Cop! I'll just warp away and leave you without a suspect!

*Autumnus floats in and sets down.*

Autumnus: I already know what you do. Did you not remember that I can go through all of time itself?

Metal: Then why did you let me run away, huh? Why did you let the entire division of Time Cops near Alsa get exploded?

*Autumnus' face darkens.*

Autumnus: That was not you, pitiful knave. That was the work of Wulfgar! You couldn't possibly have contributed to that. If you did, it was just Wulfgar manipulating you. And now that Wulfgar is dead, you have nowhere to turn.

Metal: Except to another dimension!

Autumnus: I already throught of that!

Metal: Yeah, right.

*Metal goes to make a portal, only for Ridley to appear in the way.*

Metal: What the Funk?

*A swirly-eyed Ridley zaps Metal with some beam before falling over.*

Metal: Gak!

Autumnus: I knew you'd escape. I knew I couldn't catch you. So I just sent someone else against their will whom you would never expect to disable your warp out instead.

Metal: We'll see about that!

*Metal opens a portal.*

Metal: See? It didn't do anything!

Autumnus: Not to the portal, no.

*Metal goes to walk into the portal, only to stop dead like it's a wall.*

Metal: Oh no!

Autumnus: I only disabled your servos from taking you into the portal, is all. What would you want with Nintendus, anyway? It's not like they'd let you stay.

Metal: Fine, then I'll just have to fight you with the people I have here!

Autumnus: Don't make me laugh. Most of them are disabled already!

Metal: Power ponies! Destroy him!

*A moment passes; nothing happens.*

Autumnus: You tried to dynamite them. That failed to revive them. No help from those annoying pipsqueaks today.

Metal: Uh... Esco! I saw you five minutes ago! Ninja-power his face into oblivion!

*Nothing happens*

Autumnus: I froze him in time.

Metal: Yesman! Uh... wait... does Yesman even know how to fight?

Yesman: Yes, sir.

Metal: Gah! How'd you get here so fast?

Yesman: I warned everyone of this for you.

Autumnus: Yesman can't even damage me. Of course I left him alone.

Yesman: Oh yeah?

*Yesman does some sort of punch; it bounces off Autumnus.*

Autumnus: He's not even in the same challenge class as me. I could take those .0001% damage punches all day without tiring!

Yesman: Sorry sir. I tried.

Metal: There's just one person you forgot this time!

Autumnus: Let me guess... Digi.

Metal: Pat!

Autumnus: What? Digi was your servant. He did everything you told him to do. Why would you think of Pat?

Metal: I don't want Digi to accidentally destroy the Stadium. He already did that to my less popular wannabe named Julian once!

Autumnus: ... The more I hear of Alsa, the more I regret I failed to destroy it.

*Pat shows up*

Metal: Pat! You have a PHD in destroying indestructable supervillains! Smash him to bits!

Pat: It's not that easy, Metal! We can't just beat him now!

Metal: Then what?

Pat: We have to get the Time Donut, the Chrono Croissant, and the Motion Monk-Bean Soup!

Metal: Ay carumba, why don't you just punch his face in already???

Pat: You saw what happened with Yesman. I'm not going to make a fool of myself like him. Now let's get hunting.

Autumnus: Amusing as that is, I pre-emptively destroyed ALL of those. Those were our creations, you know.

Pat: Impossible! The history of SSS says...

Autumnus: That we have always been at war with East Asia. I went back in time and rewrote it to serve my purposes. Now Pat, my quarrel is not with you. Get out of my way.

Pat: I was going to consider it, but now you've ruined the history of SSS. That's just going too far!

Autumnus: Blah blah blah. Just die already!

*Autumnus fires a beam of blue light at Pat; Pat dodges it, then fires a Ki beam. Autumnus takes the hit but seems unphased.*

Autumnus: That felt like a mildly hot hairdryer on my face. You're not as pathetic as Yesman, but you're not going to stop ME.

Pat: Yeesh... we can't beat him like this, Metal. Yesman, you and me...

Metal: MUST I summon Digi?

Pat: I don't see any other choice.

Metal: Wait a minute... I have an idea!

Autumnus: It doesn't work.

Metal: How do you know? I never thought of an idea, I just said I had one.

Autumnus: ... ... ...

*Autumnus checks a diagnostic of time itself.*

Autumnus: Impossible! You have an idea. And you're going to do it right now!

*Metal does nothing*

Metal: I was going to do it, but then you told me not to!

Pat: Wha?

Metal: Don't ask. It's a reverse psychology thing.

*Autumnus generates a huge sphere of blue Time Energy*

Autumnus: Good for you. Since you never did that, you're just going to be erased from time right now.

Metal: Okay, go ahead.

Pat: Are you really just going to stand there?

Yesman: Don't let him hit you, sir! I can figure out a solution!

Metal: Really? I'm quite sure you failed the first time.

Yesman: I... I... uhh... ... I...

Autumnus: Bahahaha. Worthless!

Yesman: I'll show YOU worthless!

*Yesman leaps into the portal to Nintendus Metal left open.*

Autumnus: ...I really SHOULD have put a tracer on him. Whatever, I'll just close that portal.

*The portal to Nintendus closes behind Yesman.*

Pat: Oh no. Now he's going to return as some psychopathic Quester and kill us all like that Charles quack.

Metal: No, the Hands disallowed that years ago.

Autumnus: Now back to our regularly scheduled extermination!

Pat: Wait, I have an idea... I saw something in that alley.

Metal: Hurry up! I can't inexplicably delay my doom so that something randomly saves me forever! Especially not with him magically knowing all my ideas before they happen!

Autumnus: Why yes. I know that Pat places Esco in the path of my beam, thus reviving him and not killing Metal. Only an idiot wouldn't watch what Pat does, after he's led to the death of many of my favorite peers.

Pat: Dah!

Autumnus: Now I will finally destroy BOTH of you, since I just remembered that Pat is also a Time Felon.

Pat: I had to go back in time to save the world!

Autumnus: And look where it got you. The world exploded nonetheless... because you let the Time Bandit run it! Moron!

Pat: ... You know, Metal, he is kind of right.

Metal: Enough talk! It's time for fighting!

*Metal takes out the electrified flamethrowing spraygun from earlier*

Autumnus: It doesn't work.

Metal: *Fires the gun into Autumnus, catching all of Autumnus on fire*

Autumnus: ... Well I guess it doesn't feel good to be on fire, but I'll live. *brushes the flames off with a hand motion*

Pat: See what I mean? Without an epic storyline to lead up to the fight, we can't beat him!

Metal: I know that! But wait... let's run back to the alley!

Pat: *Sigh* Whatever.

Autumnus: You can run, but you can't waste my time! I have all the time in the world!

*Pat and Metal run to the alley.*

Pat: So, what's the plan, Metal?

Metal: The Time Cops pride themselves on knowing the future, and being all powerful.

Pat: So far he hasn't failed on either measurement, Metal.

Metal: So what we do is act so abnormally stupid and insane he cannot predict us anymore.

Pat: Is that why the Questers beat him before?

Metal: No, that was Panzer.

Pat: That psychotic robot? Well we can't act like her! None of us have enough claws or guns!

Metal: We act like Digi instead.

Pat: Don't we have Digi here to help us?

*Meanwhile, Digi is sweeping up broken glass and debris from the Ponies' room*

Digi: Some day, someone will respect me again...

*Digi's phone rings*

Digi: I wonder who this could be...?

*Digi picks it up*

Digi: Hello?

Julian: Hello to YOU, you AAAAin' Casino n' livelihood destroyin' AAAAA! I jus' came to tell you that I've got a NEW Casino now... and you're NOT invited to it. Don' even try to get in--I'll punch your AAAAAAA lights out if you try. Capisce?

Digi: *Sigh* Capisce...

Julian: Right. See you never again, Digi. *Click*

Digi: I'll show him... I'll save a Casino! No... I'll save the Stadium. Didn't I hear of some sort of Thought Police invading a while ago?

*Back at the alley*

Autumnus: There are no prime pumpkins in this alley. You're not going to survive, Metal. Get used to it, it's how everyone else has fallen to us.

Metal: That was a lame statement and you should be ashamed of yourself for--

*Autumnus blasts Metal with a beam of time, disintegrating him.*

Autumnus: Just as planned.

Pat: Well, now what?

Autumnus: I leave. I've done what I came here to do. I always win. You had no real choice in this.

*Digi appears from the horizon brandishing a flaming golf club. Cue the church choir.*

Autumnus: Don't even bother.

Digi: You can't discourage me with statements like that... I'm going to fight you, even if it doesn't work.

Autumnus: Go ahead, but I'm on a schedule. I'm going to leave in five minutes.

*Digi leaps at Autumnus and smashes the golf club over Autumnus' head, making a satisfying thwacking sound.*

Autumnus: I have the density of a small moon. You carved off the equivalent of maybe a tree's worth of mass.

Digi: But all I did was knock a fleck of hair and a speck of dandruff off of you!

Autumnus: Precisely.

Digi: Oh man...

Autumnus: Now if you'll excuse me...

*Autumnus opens the portal, only for Yesman to fall out and hit him in the face.*

Autumnus: Mmmmph mpph mpph!

Yesman: You're not getting away! You won't kill Metal!

Pat: Uh, he already did.

Yesman: You won't get away with running away after killing Metal!

Pat: Is there really any point to that?

Digi: Metal's dead? That can't be right, he always comes back!

Pat: I thought you lost your Quester energy.

Digi: We don't even know how he does it, but he seems to keep coming back anyway!

Autumnus: Mmmmph--*Throws Yesman aside* I knew this. I compensated my aim for it too. He's gone. Dead. Extinct. And all of you will be too, without him to save you from what's in your future.

Pat: What could be worse than an annoying, boring shaman killing our crazy leader?

Autumnus: A pack of--

*A mysterious figure in the shadows presses a button, zapping Autumnus and actually causing him noticeable pain.*

Autumnus: Who did that? Who? You can't hide from me!

Pat: I didn't do it!

Digi: I don't even know what just happened.

Yesman: That wasn't me!

Ridley: *Wanders in, confused, shakes his head, falls over*

Autumnus: Well that does it. You're holding out on me. There must be another Time Felon in this zone! And he's clearly part of the group I see destroying you in the future. Well, I'll just have to delete this entire realm then.

Yesman: Wait!

Autumnus: No. *Presses a button on his staff*

*A dark gaseous bogeyman with red eyes and mouth appears*

Pat: Oh no! It's... it's...

Yesman: The Time Eater?

Pat: No, worse!

Digi: Not The Void! Wait... we beat The Void over and over again. Are you sure about this, Autumnus?

Autumnus: What is the meaning of this? You have never seen this fearsome beast before! I am sure of it!

Yesman: I sure haven't!

Pat: You forget, we came from Metal's dimension too.

Digi: We've fought him so many times I lost track.

The Void: Yes! Those fiendishly annoying Questers have beaten me EVERY TIME!

Autumnus: Well, it doesn't matter. He's not here to fight you. He's here to eat the entire dimension. I'll kill you if you so much as insult him.

The Void: Bwahahaha! At long last, I can destroy a dimension in peace! And here I thought I would never do so again, after YOU, Digi, helped destroy me for good... by making me fill myself in!

Digi: You know, I have to wonder how you even brought him back.

Autumnus: I extracted him from your old simulation machine just before Metal blew it up. And you know what, he's still good at destroying dimensions!

*The Void makes good on his statement, beginning to corrupt and destroy the world of SSS*

????: Uh-oh. I can't let this happen. The boss would be furious.

Autumnus: Who said that?

????: Nobody.

Autumnus: Aha! You're the one who's responsible for interrupting me mid-sentence! Well, I'll deal with you. Your name is...

*A golden bowling ball hits Autumnus in the face, knocking him backwards and onto the floor.*

Digi: Wait a minute, that looks familiar. Could it be...

????: No. Now throw this into the portal if you want to live.

Digi: Huh?

*???? throws a remote at Digi's feet.*

Digi: A Fighter Remote? But these were all destroyed!

????: I made this one myself. Now do it! Otherwise you really WILL be doomed.

Digi: I can't say I trust this machine a random god-like individual threw to me... nah. I'm not going to fall for it.

????: Gh... you... how could you have become so smart! I'll just have to figure out another way... *Stomps off*

Digi: So, this remote is clearly booby trapped to kill us all, or enslave us. If I know who that is...

Pat: That reminds me. Wasn't this supposed to be a fight of some kind?

Yesman: We've been trying to kill Autumnus for hours now! It's not working!

The Void: Bwahahaha! This world is fresh and new, devoid of plot holes! It is so much more filling than that other one I almost ate!

Digi: This is feeling like a bad episode of NC.

*Autumnus stands up, furious*

Autumnus: Your grating discussion is at an end. I am eternal, and this realm is doomed. I will just fast forward to the part where this world is destroyed!

Digi: Wait a minute...

Autumnus: I already told you! I...

*Digi smashes the remote into Autumnus' face. Strange radiation starts zapping him.*

Autumnus: Gahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Pat: What in the name of Billy?

Digi: That device was meant to destroy our powers, making us unable to defend against that guy. So using it on Autumnus...

Pat: Should make him easier to beat, right?

Yesman: Or at least give us time to deal with that monster in the sky.

The Void: Bwahahaaaa! Fools! I am vastly more powerful than before! I have an unlimited supply of cheese danishes and upside-down pyramids this time!

Digi: He is right, we three can't beat him alone. But do we have any backup?

Pat: The ponies are either KO'd or dead, I can't really figure out how to de-statue Silenc- I mean Esco, and Metal is a pile of silicon dust.

Yesman: I was trying to tell you guys. I found someone in that other place.

Digi: Who?

Yesman: Mewtwo? That guy Metal keeps talking about?

Digi & Pat: Oh no.

Yesman: What?

*Warp opens; Mewtwo appears.*

Mewtwo: *Grizzled expression* What mess have you gotten into this time, Digi?

Digi: Uhhh...

Autumnus: Hmph. He cannot stop me either.

Mewtwo: I thought I told you, Digi... whatever happens to this world isn't my jurisdiction. We fought off the Time Cops. Now we don't want them coming back, because of something that moron did.

Digi: But it wasn't my idea...

Mewtwo: You let someone bother me from my eternal sleep. I had just gotten close to forgetting everything that happened years ago. Now here it is again, with The Void in the sky and everything. You have no idea how much I want to get revenge right now...

*Mewtwo begins glowing blood red and the area around him begins to blow around, as a small cyclone of kinetic force builds around him.*

Digi: Uh, I'm sorry and--

Pat: No! We need to make him angrier!

Digi: WHAT? He'll kill us all if we do that!

Pat: Have you seen what that Mewtwo can do?

Digi: Won't it hurt us too?

Yesman: Well, uh, I'd prefer being hurt to this continuing.

*Yesman points out how he is beginning to vanish*

Digi: ...Right.

Autumnus: Your dimension is 25% erased, and all you have is an angry housecat to fight ME? I'm disappointed.

The Void: Bwahahaha! The taste of defeat is excellent, you fools!

Pat: Mewtwo, I hated all your rules. In fact I spent all my time outside your Stadium breaking them. Every one. I made sure to buy all the guns I could, too.

Mewtwo: WHAT???

Digi: And I, uh... I thought Metal was our smartest and most rational leader!


Yesman: I don't know you but I think you're, uh... kinda silly?

Mewtwo: ...Like I care what some random Shyguy thinks about me.

*In the background, the sky turns to a glitched mess, and buildings begin to float upside-down into the sky, just as it begins to rain Cheese Danishes.*

Autumnus: You've allowed me to destroy another 25%, bringing us to 50%. Now, are you going to flee like cowards or just talk until the entire realm disappears with you in it?

Mewtwo: *Red glare of death* You are interrupting my plan to discipline these two ex-Questers so heavily that even FUTURE GRANDCHILDREN OF THEIRS won't be able to touch coins without instantly losing them.

Autumnus: Have a deathray to the face then, I don't have TIME for people like you.

*Autumnus fires a laser at Mewtwo... who then uses Confusion to throw it up into the air and at The Void.*

The Void: One more swipe and this realm is gone!

*The laser hits The Void, filling in the hole in space-time and halting his existence--and pausing the progress of world-destruction.*

Autumnus: O_O

Mewtwo: I do not care who you are, NO ONE INTERRUPTS MY DISCIPLINARY ACTION!

Autumnus: You make a strong point, but now that I am paying attention, you WILL die for interfering in my work!

*Mewtwo fires an immense red Shadow ball at Autumnus, who counters with a gigantic clock made of antimatter. The explosion blows all the SPs (and the time stopped Esco and Metal's ashes) far away.*

*Pat lands head-first, while Digi is stuck in a tree. Yesman rolls into a pile of leaves under the tree.*

Pat: Oof... I don't know if this plan is going to work, Digi.

Digi: What makes you think that, Pat?

Pat: For one, I don't recall our sky being made out of floating upside-down coins. For another, the Stadium appears to have become a giant flying bagel made out of images of Metal Man.

Digi: Well, we stopped The Void!

Pat: Mewtwo did, and Mewtwo doesn't seem to want to save the world. He just wants to destroy all traces of money from us.

Digi: We have to do something!

Pat: Like what. We tried the most sensible idea and that failed. Then we tried a stupid one and that half-failed.

Digi: Uhhh.

*In the distance, Mewtwo and Autumnus' fight destroys the buildings around them and creates a maelstrom of debris*

Mewtwo: I hated Metal Man MORE than you!

Autumnus: No, I did!

Mewtwo: NO, I did!

Autumnus: Why don't we agree we both hate him?

Mewtwo: I also hated The Void!

Autumnus: But I have to destroy this realm. Another Time Felon is here. And I can't destroy the world with my bare hands. You saw what happened to Ael!

Mewtwo: Grrrrrr... I'd crush you into a small cube and throw you into the sun if you didn't have that staff...

Autumnus: I'd do the same to you, if you weren't so annoyingly persistent.

*Suddenly, the Pony's room crashes into the scene. A bunch of nanites float into the air and explode from the lack of dimensional coherence in the area, revealing pale, KO'd Rainbow Dash and Twilight.*

Mewtwo: Is this your plan? To beat me with dead horses?

Autumnus: They're not dead, and they're not mine!

Mewtwo: Good, then I can revive them and use them against you!

Autumnus: Don't be ridiculous. The power of friendship is no match for Time Itself!

Mewtwo: Who said they were going to be nice to you?

*Mewtwo revives the ponies... but mind controls them to share his hatred!*

Rainbow Dash: Grrr... I hate you!

Twilight: Hatred is technology!

Autumnus: Don't make me laugh!

*Rainbow Dash shoots some sort of monochromatic beam at Autumnus...*

*Back at the distant location*

Pat: So as I said, we have to bake a new Time donut, or we're doomed.

Digi: Pat, I told you, we don't have any ingredients!

Yesman: Is that a nuclear explosion in the distance?

*A massive grey-and-black nuclear explosion consumes the area where Mewtwo and Autumnus were*

Pat: Yes. Yes that was, Yesman.

Yesman: Yeah! I mean... er... ahh!

Digi: *Sigh* We'll have to check it out...

*Digi, Yesman, and Pat arrive at the scene. The ponies and Mewtwo are KO'd, while Autumnus is surrounded in grey fire*

Autumnus: Urgh... The Void's magic must have backfired. I was fully prepared for anything those ponies would use... so naturally I was super-weak against their opposites. And that blasted house cat of all things had to use it!

Pat: Thanks for telling us what happened. You really didn't have to.

Autumnus: Haven't you read the supervillain's manual? You can't get power like mine without having passed Evil Villainy 101!

Digi: I haven't read the manual, but I do know you need to go now.

Autumnus: Even with this setback, I am ten duotrigintillion times more powerful than you!

Yesman: Yes, you are.

Digi: Yesman!

Yesman: Er, yes, Digi is right!

Pat: Enough! Let's take him down before this gets any more nonsensical!

*Pat goes in for a Ki Blast, while Digi gives Autumnus an Icy kick, and Yesman stabs Autumnus in the back. Autumnus repulses them all with a time blast, then summons a huge Time Orb.*

*Pat runs at Autumnus, only to be struck down by the orb exploding on him. Yesman then tries to trip Autumnus and breaks his foot on Autumnus' improbably high-mass body. Autumnus prepares another powerful Time orb... only for Digi to golf club it into the sky.*

Autumnus: Good going there, fool. There's nothing up there!

*It keeps on going and passes through the center of the giant hole in the sky.*

Autumnus: Uh... ... Did I properly account for that happening?

*Autumnus takes out a magical-based logbook and flips through it desperately, as bizarre purple lightning rakes the dimension.*

Pat: What's the matter, not possessing all the answers anymore?

Autumnus: It's not that. It's just... ... I think I accidentally sent that back in time through that hole The Void made.

*The Stadium, just before The Void tore it up*

Mash Toady: Well, it's another uneventful day. Although I don't recall it raining cheese danishes before...

*Rumbling noise*

Mash Toady: Is that a massive, comet-sized sphere of time energy I see?


*The Stadium throws a huge piece of itself off, which goes to collide... into Autumnus in the past...*

*Back in the present, Autumnus collapses*

Autumnus: Guh... I knew it. I changed the past.

Digi: Isn't that normal for you?

*The entire world starts pulsing and freaking out as Autumnus begins to glitch out*

Autumnus: I created a time paradox... pime... taradox... ox.... more oxen... for... wagon...

*An atonal screech is heard and suddenly a white flash KOs everyone*

*After the screech fades, the scene refocuses on what appears to be Digi, Yesman, and Pat passed out on a the hill where the tree was. The tree is gone, but so is Mewtwo and the ponies. The Stadium is back in one piece, but there is also Autumnus. Autumnus stands there, holding himself together despite gray fire and purple lightning threatening to rip him to pieces.*

Pat: How can you possibly still be alive?

Autumnus: Alive? You think something as powerful as me is a simple living being? I am eternal. You have only disrupted my presence here somewhat. I will simply do what I did before time reset to before I released The Void, and end this idiocy once and for all!

Digi: We've got to think fast! Mewtwo wasn't enough, and neither was causing time to implode on him...

Ganondorf: I'll handle this.

Pat: What?

Autumnus: Ganondorf... you can't stop me!

Ganondorf: Of course I can't.

Autumnus: Then what do you think you're doing with that sword?

Ganondorf: Long ago, I faced a number of mages not unlike you. They, too, claimed to be masters of time and space.

*Ganondorf reveals the scar from when they impaled him on the sword he uses*

Ganondorf: The power of the Triforce makes me every bit as immortal as you. I am a part of the universe, a universal constant. The worst you can do, is to spend your entire existence fighting against me, futilely.

Digi: *Whispering to Pat* Wow... the Ganondorf I knew was a pushover who did nothing but die.

Pat: *Whispering to Digi* Shhh... he's doing something with that sword.

Autumnus: I know what you are, but I can just as easily banish you to another dimension. A kid in a hat did it, so it shouldn't be so hard for me.

Ganondorf: You have made... a poor decision.

*Autumnus fires his time ray at Ganondorf... who holds up his sword and deflects it into the time-stopped Esco.*

Esco: Wha? Where am I, and why do I smell like burnt popcorn?

Autumnus: Grrr... you tricky warlock. I should have known you'd do that.

Ganondorf: You can only track a limited number of people. This I have noticed, from observing your behavior today.

Autumnus: You... I'm the wise one here! Don't try to out-eldritch abomination ME!

Ganondorf: It is you who are cracking. I'm just doing what I always do. *Smirks*

Esco: Sorry to interrupt, but it's about time I reduced this Time Mage to a pile of bloody rags.

Ganondorf: Of course, go ahead.

Autumnus: All you'll be seeing is your own flesh turning to dust, black-clothed mummy.

*Esco tries multiple Ninja moves, only to find Autumnus as solid as everyone else has. Esco does dodge several time beams though.*

Esco: I guess he wasn't kidding. Maybe some telekinetic flame manipulation will do it!

Ganondorf: No, even I cannot damage him. But do you really think I'd come out here just to watch you fry?

Digi: I don't know, no one even sees you most of the time.

Autumnus: I'm 10 minutes late and one destroyed dimension short. Time to summon The Void again!

Ganondorf: Go ahead. I'll just summon... The Hands.

*Sinister cackling fills the air, as Master and Crazy Hand descend from the skies.*

Autumnus: I've fought them before. Took them both on at once without any effort.

Ganondorf: Not these Hands.

Master Hand: BWA HA HA HA HAAAA! What are you doing in this realm, Time Cop?

Crazy Hand: Ehehehehehahahahaha... this isn't in your territory!

Autumnus: I managed to bribe the Time Knights. Now stand aside!

Master Hand: Not so! If the Time Knights are off duty, then we can use our true power without fail!

Crazy Hand: I'll start off by blowing you to smithereens! GAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

*Autumnus goes to interject, only to be smashed by a small planet inexplicably warping onto him, then launched into space and out of the world.*

Digi, Pat, Esco, Yesman: O_O

Ganondorf: And this is why you don't get on our bad side.

Master Hand: Yes. If you are stupid enough to have bribed the only people who keep him in check, Crazy will smash you with an entire planet.

Crazy Hand: Ehehehahahaha! It feels good to violate all boundaries of common sense!

Master Hand: Now for my part. Your dead leader...

Esco: Wait, Metal is dead?

Master Hand: Yes...

Esco: And at last, all is right with the world...

Master Hand: As I was saying, while there is another as worthy as him out there, I sense it would be anticlimactic if your leader were not allowed to properly fight and decide his fate. It is not my way to allow random interlopers to wreck the pattern of events.

Esco: Dammit.

*Master Hand snaps his fingers and SSB:M-esque lightning revives Metal Man.*

Metal: Whoa! How am I alive? Autumnus actually went all the way and fried all 9999999999 of my clones through time!

Master Hand: You're slated to die later, in a much more interesting way. Then probably again... and again... and again. Like it or not, you're our plaything as long as you're in this realm.

Crazy Hand: Yeah yeah yeaah! EHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Metal: Er... thanks, I guess!

Master Hand: And now, let's go back to our observation position, before we reveal anything important to these people.

Ganondorf: Yes, please do go.

*The Hands leave while Metal dusts himself off... literally.*

Metal: Well, that worked out well. All according to plan.

Pat: What plan?

Metal: By moronically allowing myself to die, I allowed everyone else to figure out how to save me instead.

Pat: *Facepalm*

Digi: Metal...

Metal: Well, well, well. It's the Digi-meister. Let's see what the logs say!

*Metal replays the log*

Metal: Not bad, you somehow saved the Stadium by retroactively exploding it, in a timeline that no longer exists.

Digi: @_@

Metal: I'll have to remember that.

Esco: I hate to butt in, but the Light Beings are either dead or seriously ill, and Dr. Mario seems less helpful than he was just the day before.

Metal: Of course. I fired that Stanley quack and hired the one from my world.

Digi: Oh no... oh no. My nightmares have returned!

Dr. Mario: Did someone say Night Horse? Because I sure heard that! And the sound of coins! Coins to line my wallet with!

Digi: Oh no... I'm not reliving this!

Pat: Me neither!

*Digi and Pat flee*

Dr. Mario: Aha! I see... a patient!

*Ridley is still on the ground, now with three sets of footprints stomped on him*

Dr. Mario: Let me attach him to this golf cart motor I found in a junk yard!

Esco: Metal, how is this lunatic better than Stanley?

Metal: Well, he never fails to revive people.

*Loud electrical noise*

*Ridley is twitching, and also on fire.*

Dr. Mario: Hmmmm... overdid the current this time. Oh well! I got all his money anyway! He was too asleep to stop me... and now he's too on fire to stop me!

*Ridley thrashes around and flies away, screeching in pain and terror*

Esco: ... I'm just going to keep Stanley as my personal doctor, thanks.

Metal: Fine with me! I don't need doctors. I just die and let other people or my own selves from the future save me.

Esco: I'm... going to go be a ninja over there for now.

Metal: Sure!

*Esco leaves, and the "match" fades away as Metal Man chuckles to himself.*