Match #16: Aerial Dominance!

Fighters for Cloudiseum: Pit vs. Kirby vs. Meta Knight vs. King Dedede vs. R.O.B. vs. Jigglypuff vs. Charizard

Stock: 3

Light Bear: *sleeping*

*later that day*

Light Bear: *sleeping*

*alarm goes off*

Light Bear: *wakes up* Ah, is it 6:00 already? Time to start the day!

*turns off alarm*

Light Bear: Boy, I do enjoy waking up bright and early. I couldn't possibly imagine what it'd be like to miss out on a whole day of stuff.

*scratches head*

Light Bear: ...I'm overdue for hosting another match, aren't I...?

*some time later, in a corridor of SSS*

*Light Bear is walking down the hall*

Light Bear: Alright, now I just need to find-

*bumps into Esco*

Light Bear: Oh! Uh, sorry... ah, Esco!

Esco: Sir MacBlank.

Light Bear: Ah, uh, call me Light Bear.

Esco: We don't converse much, do we?

Light Bear: ...I guess not. Hey, uh, I could use your help.

Esco: Eh? What for?

Light Bear: I had this match idea, you see... I wanted to get all the flying smashers and see who's the best of 'em in an air-only fight. Any idea where we could have that?

Esco: Not really.

Light Bear: Ah, shame. That's okay, I'll continue to ask around.

Esco: No problem. Good luck on your quest.

*Light Bear leaves*

Esco: Hmm... a fight for air dominance...

*SSS Coffee Lounge. A few fighters are gathered together laughing*

*Enter Esco*

Esco: Hey.

Mewtwo: Hello, Esco. We were just talking about you...

Esco: Really? What about?

Link: About... your girl troubles. *snickers*

Esco: . . . Yesman!!

Yesman: *In the back corner making some coffee* ... Y-yes?

Esco: Would you mind telling me how ALL OF THE FIGHTERS IN THE ENTIRE STADIUM know about my dark secrets?! You WERE eavesdropping last night, weren't you?

Yesman: I... er... yes.

Esco: I will give you three seconds to defend yourself before I punch you into last week. One...

Yesman: I didn't tell anyone! I swear!

Esco: *twitch* Two...

Yesman: All right, all right! I told Rainbow Dash, but only because she wouldn't leave me alone!

Esco: So what you're saying is that she spread it around the Stadium?

Yesman: Yes...

Esco: I'll buy it. Which way to Mario's Room?

Luigi: Oh, down the hall and to the left-a. The fourth door down. What-a for?

Esco: Oh, no reason. *leaves, slamming the door behind him*

*later still...*

Light Bear: Shoot, no luck. Esco had no idea, I couldn't find Yesman anywhere, and Metal... well, whenever he's around I seem to make myself scarce. Hmm. Anyway, I guess that leaves-

*bumps into Twilight*

Light Bear: -oof! Oh, hi, Twilight Sparkle!

Twilight: Huh? Oh, uh...salutations, Professor MacBlank!

Light Bear: Please, just call me Light Bear.

Twilight: Alright, Light Bear.

Light Bear: Hey, I was wondering if you could help me with something.

Twilight: What's up?

Light Bear: Oh, I had this idea for a fight, but I don't have any idea where I could host it. I wanted to put a bunch of flying fighters together, you see-

Twilight: An all-flying match? That sounds like it'd be perfect for the Cloudiseum!

Light Bear: The what?

Twilight: Oh, it's a coliseum in Rainbow Dash's hometown of Cloudsdale. It's located high in the sky and hosts all kinds of flying competitions!

Light Bear: Hey, that sounds like it'd fit perfectly for what I have in mind! Would you be willing to help commentate?

Twilight: Actually, I'm in the middle of a project, but I'm sure my friend Pinkie Pie could help out. She's provided commentary for this sort of thing before, and you can borrow my balloon to keep close to the action!

Light Bear: Ah, excellent! Oh, and I'd need someone to help keep people in the air - would Rainbow Dash be able to help with that?

Twilight: I actually haven't seen her all day. I'm sure she'd love to, I just don't know where she is. I'll look for her while you get the fight set up.

Light Bear: Thank you, Twilight, I very much appreciate the help. Good luck with your project and with finding Rainbow Dash!

*Light Bear runs off*

Twilight: I wonder where Dash could have gone...I hope she isn't hurt...maybe she's just napping...in the middle of nowhere...no, that isn't likely. I'd better start investigating the situation further. Come to think of it...how did I lose half of the nanomachines I was studying? Oh well...it's not like I needed all of them to finish my chaos energy studies anyway. *Her horn starts to glow as she begins to walk out of the room* Now if I concentrate hard enough, I should be able to sense Rainbow's mind...

*later at the Cloudiseum, a Roman-esque coliseum made of and constructed high in the clouds - the audience is largely exclusively ponies, but some SSS fans are intermingled. A hot-air balloon supports Light Bear and the ever-energetic Pinkie Pie*

Light Bear: Hello all, I'm Light Bear-

Pinkie Pie: And I'm Pinkie Pie!!!

Light Bear: ...and we're comin' at you live from... a new background, actually. I'm here at the Cloudiseum, and-

Pinkie Pie: Oh my gosh it's so amaaaaazing up here! I forgot since the last time I was here which wasn't that long agobutstillit'sbeenlonGenoughthatI'veforgottenwhatitlookedlike!

Light Bear: ...ah, right. We have something a bit different planned today: a little something I'd like to call the Aerial Dominance Competition!

Pinkie Pie: A party to find the super star of the skies! But there's less cake and more beating up friends. But not actually beating them up, because that's mean.

Light Bear: Ah... right. Yes, this will be a fight between the air-oriented fighters over at the Stadium. This'll be a total of seven fighters at once: the angel Pit, the Star Warriors Kirby and Meta Knight, the penguin King Dedede-

Pinkie Pie: Wait, I thought penguins couldn't fly!

Light Bear: ...! Um, well-

Pinkie Pie: Well, if he wants to fly, that's okay for him, and nobody should try to stop him!

Light Bear: Y-yeah, I guess...?...

Pinkie Pie: There's also ROB the Robot, Jigglypuff the singing balloon - ooh, I love balloons and I love singing! - and Charizard the dragon. Wait, a dragon?! Won't he be TOO BIG?

Light Bear: Don't worry, Charizard is much smaller than the dragons you have around here. Except Spike. Now, as the fight is focused on strength in the air, there'll be no ground to speak of - all attacks will be made from the air and in the air.

Pinkie Pie: Well, what kind of an Aerial Dominance Competition would it be if they weren't fighting in the air?

Light Bear: [if possible, the text shrinks here as Light Bear gradually starts just muttering to himself] Well I'm just saying that because in most fights, y'know, people are on the ground, so it's a change of pace, as it were

Pinkie Pie: Oh, and one of my beeeeest friends in the whole wide world, Rainbow Dash, will be here! As there's no ground for them to land on - well, there is, but it's really far down and that would hurt - she's gonna help the fighters if they start falling and can't get up!

Light Bear: Yes, that's right, and as we're outside the protection of the stadium, that'll count as a ring-out. I'm wondering why she hasn't shown up yet, though...

*meanwhile, in Esco's Room*

Ridley: So, you got me into another match?

Esco: Not quite. All the flying fighters are allowed in.

Ridley: All right, then why did you call me here?

Esco: I just want to know how long you can stay airborne in one session.

Ridley: That's it? I can fly for very long periods of time without suffering from fatigue. It's what my race is (was) best known for, outside of holding grudges and destroying things.

Esco: Good! Apparently this match is an airborne special, so you should perform exceptionally well. Also, I slipped some LSD into the blue light being's coffee earlier today.

Ridley: Where did you get that?

*Mario's Room*

Mario: Mama-mia! My-a secret stash is gone!

Esco: Oh, I found it. The match should be starting soon, so you need to-

*Exit Ridley... through the wall of the chamber*

Esco: . . . FFFFFFFFFFF-

Light Bear: Well, uh...

Pinkie Pie: Oh oh oh! Look, here comes Rainbow Dash!

*Rainbow Dash zooms into the arena and stops right in front of Light Bear and Pinkie Pie*

Rainbow Dash: I'm here, I'm here!

Light Bear: Uh... is everything okay?

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine, I just... ah, I think I was a little sick earlier, but I'm feeling better now.

Light Bear: Sick? Are you sure you'll be alright for this?

Rainbow Dash: Who, me? Of course! Now that I've stopped seein' things, I'm rarin' to catch those falling fighters!

Light Bear: S-seeing things...?!

Pinkie Pie: Oh, she'll be fine, Mr. Stickly Doodleman! You just gotta not worry about these things.

Light Bear: (...'Stickly Doodleman'?)

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah, look! Here come the smashers! Shouldn't you be a-commentatin' on them?

Light Bear: ...oh, oh, right! Uh, right right right, uh, yeah, here come the fighters!

*Pit descends from the heavens; Kirby arrives via Warpstar, but merely parks it rather than crashes it; Meta Knight warps in; King Dedede is carried in by Waddle Dees; R.O.B. is assembled from above; Jigglypuff pops out of a PokeBall; and Charizard swoops down*

Light Bear: One last thing I should note – everyone's flight capabilities have been extended, so while they will occasionally need help keeping from falling –

Rainbow Dash: And that's where I come it! *poses in midair*

Light Bear: ...yes, uh, they should at least be able to fly as much as they need to in order to stay in the air. Just remember, if Rainbow Dash has to save you three times, you're out.

Rainbow Dash: Can we get this started already?

Light Bear: Alright alright, fine! For the hundreds of ponies and fans in the audience...

Pinkie Pie: And the thousands of kitties and doggies and other pets worldwide!

Light Bear: Pinkie, I don't think-

Pinkie Pie: Yeah, I know, I just wanted to give them a shout-out!

Rainbow Dash: Come ON already!

King Dedede: Yeah, if you're just gonna keep blabbin' away, there's a million other things we could be doin' right now!

Light Bear: Fine, fine, yes, uh, it's time to-

Rainbow Dash: GO!

Pinkie Pie: There go the fighters, in freefall high above Equestria! Ooh, how exciting!

Light Bear: Very much so! Meta Knight starts things off quickly with his lightning-quick sword combos!

Pinkie Pie: Jigglypuff manages to get outta there, though! Looks like she's... spinning!

Light Bear: Rollout? That's risky enough on the ground, isn't it?

Pinkie Pie: Sometimes you just gotta take risks! Like R.O.B., he's spinning too, and he's getting some hits in on the others!

Light Bear: I suppose... though it didn't work for Jigglypuff; Pit stopped her with a well-placed arrow.

Rainbow Dash: Meanwhile, Charizard takes a boulder and smashes it into the rest of the fighters!

Light Bear: Wait, since when are you-

Rainbow Dash: You invite me to a fight, you better expect that I'll commentate on it. His Rock Smash sends, uh, a lot of people flying away from him, and... that pink guy also... uh, spins?

Light Bear: That's Kirby. You sure you're gonna be okay to commentate?

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'm fine, Professor. Kirby, um, now swallows the closest guy... looks like Pit?

Pinkie Pie: Now Kirby's got a set of wings too! Not that he needed them, but they look nice.

Rainbow Dash: Not as cool as mine, though!

Light Bear: *sigh*

Light Bear: Lotta damage has been done already...

Pinkie Pie: Maybe they're excited! I would be if I was falling from way high up!

Rainbow Dash: But they're fliers! They should be used to this sort of thing!

Light Bear: It's a bit different, what with them having to fight Stadium-style. I mean, guys like Dedede, who's just flailing around, aren't gonna do too well, but Meta Knight's doing a pretty good job getting a bunch of people at once, especially with his Mach Tornado.

Pinkie Pie: But a stray smash from R.O.B. sends him falling to his doom! Oh no!

Rainbow Dash: Aaaaand that's my cue!

Light Bear: Ah, there goes Rainbow Dash to catch Meta Knight! I'll admit that happened a lot sooner than I'd imagined; must be tricky, trying to get used to a new fighting set-up... anyway, while she's bringing him back up, Charizard lashes out with his claws and Pit strikes with his daggers.

Pinkie Pie: Looks like she's got Meta Knight okay... but Jigglypuff's not doing that well. She's flying pretty far already!

Light Bear: Here comes Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: Woo, see? No problem. Meta Knight gets back to work with some quick sword strikes, and Jigglypuff is flying back in with a few Pound attacks!

Pinkie Pie: And there's a laser beam!

Light Bear: ...what?

Rainbow Dash:...! What the hay is that?!

Pinkie Pie: A laser beam blasts through the fighters, sending them ALL flying! But wait, they're already flying...

Light Bear: Who is that?!

Rainbow Dash: It's... a dragon!

Pinkie Pie: I thought you said the dragons aren't that big...?

Light Bear: That's... Ridley! What's he doing here?

*Ridley swoops into the fray*

Ridley: This is my competition?

Charizard: Charrrr (You again...)

Ridley: Nice to see you again too, dragon...

Charizard: ...?

Rainbow Dash: I don't understand, this is, like, the third time he's shown up! Is he a regular?

Light Bear: I... guess? I've had a run-in with him before... or at least, another version of him. I'm familiar with his tricks, so I have my doubts.

Pinkie Pie: You gotta assume the best here! As long as he fights nice, everything should be okey dokey lokey, right?

Light Bear: ...very well. At any rate, Ridley did a pretty good job clearing out the competition; his blast was well-timed and hit everyone, knocking Jigglypuff, Pit, and Dedede far enough to make a ring-out. Rainbow, if you could...?

Rainbow Dash: Oh, right! I'm on it!

Pinkie Pie: It's dragon versus dragon as Ridley and Charizard fly at each other with aerial attacks! Are they still mad about the last fight?

Light Bear: That'd make sense. R.O.B. fires a beam at the crowd – looks like he's going for the same thing Ridley did – but it doesn't do as much damage.

Pinkie Pie: Rainbow's brought back the falling fighters, just as Meta Knight strikes! Kirby's taking a whole lotta damage!

Light Bear: A powerful strike from Ridley sends Charizard flying far... looks like it's a ring-out for him!

Rainbow Dash:What? Shoot! *flies back off*

Pinkie Pie: She's gonna be flying back and forth a lot, I can tell!

Light Bear: Well, when you get eight people fighting each other all at once, there's gonna be a lot of people flying far. See, Ridley's knocked Kirby away, too.

Pinkie Pie: R.O.B.'s not having any of that! He's smacking Ridley with his robo arms, while Meta Knight closes in with his Meta sword!

Light Bear: It's, uh, called the 'Galaxia,' you know.

Pinkie Pie: Oh, well that makes sense. I can see that.

Light Bear: ...?!?

Pinkie Pie: ...just as I can see that King Dedede's thrown a spiky ball at Ridley! Ooh, that did quite a bit of damage.

Light Bear: A Gordo? Yeah, that really did the trick – Meta Knight follows after Ridley and spikes him for a ring-out with a Shuttle Loop.

Pinkie Pie: Rainbow drops Kirby and Charizard back into the fight, then... dashes off to get Ridley! Ha ha ha!

Light Bear: Hee hee, not bad.

*meanwhile *

Ridley: That was a fluke! How can I have been knocked out already?!

Rainbow Dash: Alright, Ridley, here, lemme help you back into the fight.

Ridley: Get away from me! I don't need some winged equine's help.

Rainbow Dash: Hey, what's your problem? Quit roaring at me and let me help you!

*back with the commentators*

Pinkie Pie: ...and Kirby gobbles up Jigglypuff like dessert! I could go for some dessert myself, Jigglypuff's hair is making me hungry... and now so is Kirby's!

Light Bear: You fascinate me.

Pinkie Pie: Ridley's returning too, and he looks angry. Hey, where's Rainbow Dash?

Light Bear: A smash from Dedede sends R.O.B. flying far, and there's Rainbow, hot on his tail.

Pinkie Pie: R.O.B. doesn't have a tail, silly!

Light Bear: Oh, you know-

Pinkie Pie: You gotta be perfectly clear on what you're talking about when you're commentating!

Light Bear: ...I-I...

Pinkie Pie: Otherwise you'll end up just like Pit over there, caught in a flurry of attacks between Jigglypuff and Charizard!

Light Bear: ...w-well, uh, Ridley's lunged right at Meta Knight, sending him flying far away for another knock out.

Pinkie Pie: Things are really starting to pick up! Ridley spews a couple fireballs at Pit, but he uses his Mirror Shield to deflect the shots! It's Charizard who's getting burned instead!

Light Bear: Speaking of Charizard, he and Ridley are now at it again, trading melee blows and generally ignoring the other fighters!

Pinkie Pie: This lets people like Dedede, Kirby, and R.O.B. duke it out amongst themselves! Oh, but it looks like Jigglypuff's off in the corner...

Light Bear: In such a frantic situation, it might not be such a bad idea to allow others to tire each other.

Pinkie Pie: And speaking of tired...!

Rainbow Dash: *flies back in* Okay, I think I have enough of a break to do a little commentar-

Light Bear: Holy cow, look at Dedede plummet! R.O.B. must've used that killer meteor smash of his again!

Rainbow Dash: OH COME ON! *flies off*

Pinkie Pie: Kirby retaliates by using Jigglypuff's Pound attack a few times, then smashes him to bits with his hammer!

Light Bear: ...ah, not quite. R.O.B. does go flying a bit, though, right into Pit's whirling daggers!

Pinkie Pie: Kirby's not out of danger, though, as Meta Knight flies in and unleashes a few sword combos right back at him!

Light Bear: Things seem to be escalating over with Ridley and Charizard - Charizard's knocked Ridley a good distance away with a Rock Smash!

Pinkie Pie: Ooh, that made Ridley steamed! He lunges right through... everybody! Just to get to Charizard.

Light Bear: Rainbow Dash is just bringing back Dedede, but she might have to fly off again - Charizard's really looking worse for the wear.

Pinkie Pie: Oh, look! Jigglypuff's completely rocking the scene with a bunch of cool midair combos on... everybody! Well, everybody who was knocked away by Ridley with that lunge of his.

Light Bear: Ah, there we go. A powerful sweep of his tail sends Charizard flying far away, and there follows Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie Pie: Oh oh oh! Jigglypuff times a Rollout just right and kaBOOM! Smashes right into Ridley!

Light Bear: He angrily swipes at Jigglypuff, but she's just agile enough to dodge his claws! However, Dedede does knock R.O.B. into Ridley... and R.O.B. puts his meteor smash to use with a deft blow against the space pirate! That's his second life!

*again, in the skies with Ridley...*

Ridley: WHAT?! Again?! How can I be...?! This is absurd! How the AAAA does this keep happening to me?!

*stops by himself mid-plummet, rushes upwards*

Ridley: I do not need all these petty interruptions. I do not need to partake in games with the deck stacked against me.

*zooms past Rainbow Dash, sending her into a spin*

Ridley: I only want one thing: a chance to fight the Hunter. And even if I have to tear through everyone involved with this AAAAAAA farce...

*abruptly zooms back into the fight*

Ridley:...I WILL NOT BE DENIED!

Light Bear: ...holy crap, Ridley's PISSED.

Pinkie Pie: He's grabbing at people and chomping them to bits!

Light Bear: Ridley tosses Meta Knight far away for a swift knock out! That'll be the first elimination, but...!

Pinkie Pie: Make that two! Ridley swiped his tail at Pit for another easy knock-out while he's busy tossing Dedede right after Meta Knight!

Light Bear: Charizard goes to distract him, but Ridley's having none of it - he snaps his powerful jaws at Charizard, then tosses him at R.O.B. with enough force to knock the robot out of the arena!

Pinkie Pie: A strong gust of wind also sends Kirby flying far, far away! Poor thing!

Light Bear: I feel really bad for everyone here. Just look at how Ridley's kicked Jigglypuff out of the arena!

Pinkie Pie: It's just Charizard and Ridley for now... Rainbow's off saving the others.

*with Rainbow Dash and the falling fighters*

Rainbow Dash: Phew! I'm usually better at carrying people, but it's gonna have to be slow going for you six back to the fight today - still not feelin' my best.

King Dedede: Holy COW, what happened!?

Meta Knight: ...bested in a fit of rage...

Kirby: We have to do something!

Meta Knight: Whatever you do, you'll have to do it without the King and I.

King Dedede: WHAT?! We can't just let a cheater get away with-

Meta Knight: Ridley has done nothing wrong. He has yet to break the terms of the match, despite his late arrival.

R.O.B.: If nothing is done, destruction is imminent. Enemy Ridley utilizes ferocity far-exceeding normal Stadium measurements.

Pit: Then we must work together to take down Ridley!

Jigglypuff: Jiggly Jig Jigglypuff... (It's our only choice...)

Kirby: Yeah, I call a truce until Ridley's defeated. We can defeat him if we work together!

Rainbow Dash: Alright, I'll drop off... uh... Kirby, Jigglypuff, Pit, and R.O.B. back by Ridley and Charizard, then I'll take Dedede and Meta Knight down to the ground.

King Dedede: We've got no time to dawdle!

Rainbow Dash: Hey, I'm tryin' my best! And you've already been eliminated!

Meta Knight: Is that incentive to hurry your pace?

Rainbow Dash: Huh?

*Charizard plummets by Rainbow Dash and the fighters, completely unconscious and badly scratched and bruised from the scuffle with Ridley*

Rainbow Dash: ...AUGH! You guys'll have to fly on back yourselves; I've gotta save him!

Pit: We're off! FLIERS... MOVE OUT!

*Pit, Kirby, Jigglypuff, and R.O.B. fly up towards the fight, while Rainbow Dash bolts after Charizard. Meta Knight grabs King Dedede and the two descend after Rainbow Dash and Charizard*

*back in the fight. Ridley is howling, having defeated Charizard*

Light Bear: ...I really don't know what to make of this. Ridley's taken a smattering of damage, but he's mad enough to take on the world.

Pinkie Pie: I just hope poor Charizard is okay... that was terrible how Ridley beat up the poor dragon!

Light Bear: Hold it... here comes the other fighters! That's right, Jigglypuff, Kirby, Pit, and R.O.B. also still have one life!

Pinkie Pie: They're all helping each other back up!

Light Bear: Jigglypuff reaches Ridley first, but is knocked away like paper in the wind!

Pinkie Pie: Oh oh oh, but the distraction lets Kirby eat Ridley!

Light Bear: Ridley breaks out rather quickly, but this gives R.O.B. and Pit the chance to really wail away on the space pirate!

Pinkie Pie: Jigglypuff's back, and she's kicking away at Ridley! And there's Kirby with a few kicks of his own!

Light Bear: R.O.B. shoots his fully-charged eye laser at Ridley, which pierces right through him and does a ton of damage!

Pinkie Pie: Suddenly, Ridley spins, knocking everyone away! And now he's charging at R.O.B.!

Light Bear: Pit pegs him with an arrow as he flies towards the space pirate, who is spewing fireballs at the robot. Oh, but R.O.B. spins the fireballs right back at Ridley!

Pinkie Pie: Kirby flies and kicks Ridley up to Jigglypuff, who... takes a nap?

Light Bear: ...! No, she's using her Rest technique! With the amount of damage Ridley's taken, and with them being in midair...!

Pinkie Pie: WOW! LOOK AT HIM FLY! Ridley's outta the arena! He's gone! History! Finished! Outta the picture! Kablam! I never knew sleeping could be that powerful!

Light Bear: But it's at a price! Jigglypuff can't fly while she's asleep, so she drifts off, as it were, out of the arena... looks like she's eliminated, too.

Pinkie Pie: What a brave, brave balloon... *sniff*

Light Bear: She's falling slowly enough that she should be fine.

Pit: Well done, friends. Unfortunately, we still have a fight to finish.

R.O.B.:Affirmative. The battle must reach a conclusion. Though your powers are formidable, The machine will always win.

Kirby: Alright! Time to get back to our match!

Light Bear: And there we go, now the three remaining fighters are back at it again! Should be a rather short scuffle, as everyone looks pretty exhausted.

Pinkie Pie: Kirby starts by smacking his hammer into R.O.B. again! R.O.B. spins to counter, though.

Light Bear: Pit drops down and also spins, but with his daggers.

Pinkie Pie: Kirby turns into... a rock?! Rocks can't fly!

Light Bear: No, but they do make others fly! Look at-

Pinkie Pie: I dunno, just because I have a rock in my hoof doesn't mean I can soar like Rainbow Dash.

Light Bear: W-

Pinkie Pie: Now if you had a catapult, you could maybe then use the rocks to throw you, but that's not exactly "flying."

Light Bear: B-

Pinkie Pie: In fact, I'm pretty sure that if anything, rocks make it really difficult for one to fly! I don't think you can fly at all if all you have is a rock!

Light Bear: ...OH LOOK uh um er Kirby survived being a rock and has smashed Pit out of the arena with his hammer!

Pinkie Pie: Whoo! Kirby rocks! But a laser shot from R.O.B. sends Kirby rocking a bit too far, and now he's KOed! I guess that means we have our winner!

THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... R.O.B.!

Light Bear: Seems like meteor smashes are a major boon for flying fights. And not having to physically jump is also useful.

Pinkie Pie: Uh-oh, it kinda looks like R.O.B.'s almost outta fuel, though.

Light Bear: That should be alright, we can just land...? Is that a missile?!

*a missile flies in from off-screen and explodes on R.O.B., sending him tumbling away*

Light Bear: WHOA! What's going on?!

Pinkie Pie: Look! It's... Robo Ridley?

Light Bear: WHAT

*sure enough, Ridley flies in, but in his Meta Ridley armor*

Meta Ridley: I have defeated the only remaining fighter. I am the winner. Now take me to the Man of Metal.

Light Bear: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Pinkie Pie: What are you doing here?!

Meta Ridley: I... AM... THE... WINNER.

Light Bear: NO. NONONONONO. YOU GO. GO NOW.

Meta Ridley: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS AAAAAAAA. I REFUSE TO PLAY GAMES WITH YOU ANY LONGER. I HAVE MY MISSION, AND I WILL SEE IT THROUGH. AND I WILL STOP ANYONE WHO GETS IN MY WAY.

Light Bear: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HE'S GONNA ATTACK THE BALLOON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *continues screaming and otherwise panicking*

Pinkie Pie: Stay back! I'll-

Meta Ridley: *roars incoherently*

???: Hey, leave my friends alone!

*Rainbow Dash flies up, delivering an uppercut to Meta Ridley, who recoils slightly then faces the pegasus*

Meta Ridley: YOU...

Rainbow Dash: I knew something was fishy ever since I saw you! In fact, I knew something was up ever since I drank my coffee and started seeing funny colors before me! That's why I called in backup!

Pinkie Pie: Backup? Who?

????: Here I am, Rainbow!

*an orange blur shoots past Rainbow Dash and plants a foot into Meta Ridley's face, knocking him back. It's Miles "Tails" Prower, Sonic's best pal*

Rainbow Dash: Thanks for the assist, Tails!

Tails: No problem, Rainbow. I'm always glad to help.

Rainbow Dash: It ain't over by a longshot. I hear he gets pretty tough in this form.

Light Bear: *finishes his scream* Hey, if you get on the ground, Pinkie and I can do our best to help out!

Pinkie Pie: Yeah! I'm not gonna let mean ol' mister-robo-dragon-face-who-is-actually-just-a-regular-dragon-face-with-robo-armor get away with being as much of a meanie as he has been!

Rainbow Dash: You're on!

Meta Ridley: *bellowing roar*

Tails: Hurry, Rainbow!

Light Bear: Well, uh... this is Tails' first time fighting in the Stadium, I think, so I have no reference for his moveset here.

Pinkie Pie: Looks like he's attacking Meta Ridley with rings!...but they're exploding?!

Light Bear: Ah, those are his Dummy Rings! And Rainbow Dash swirls around Meta Ridley... what's she doing?

Pinkie Pie: That's her "Rainbow Dry" move! Look at how many hits she's getting in on Meta Ridley!

Light Bear: Oh oh, and look, Tails is using his Rapid Tails attack to spin repeatedly into the roboticized foe!

Pinkie Pie: And Rainbow Dash busts right through Ridley with her Buccaneer Blaze! Looks like she's flying a ways away, though...?

Light Bear: Tails is keeping Ridley distracted with more Dummy Rings, though. All those explosions seem to be tiring him out - he's not flapping as quickly, now.

Pinkie Pie: Oh, here comes Rainbow again, and she's got a cloud! Looks like she's making it rain on Ridley!

Light Bear: Hey, pretty clever - make his armor rust and all that. At the very least, it's continuing to tire him out.

Pinkie Pie: Tails curls into a ball and does - ohmygosh, that must be a Spin Dash, just like Sonic! And Rainbow kicks Tails into Ridley! Look at him fall!

Light Bear: Hey, looks like we're coming up on the ground here - better slow down our descent just a touch so we don't get crushed by gravity.

Pinkie Pie: Meta Ridley's not so lucky, though! Rainbow sends him falling hard into the ground with another Buccaneer Blaze!

Light Bear: Looks like she's following up with a-

*nothing can be heard, however, as a blast of noise and technicolor emits from the high-speed collision between Rainbow Dash, Meta Ridley, and the ground. The balloon basket is sent spinning, and Light Bear and Pinkie Pie tumble out of the basket, though they're fortunately close enough that they're not hurt from the impact with the ground themselves*

Light Bear: Is everyone okay?!

*The dust settles and everyone is alright... including Ridley, though his wings seem severely damaged*

Meta Ridley: ...what on... ow... my wings... I don't think I can fly...

Pinkie Pie: I don't think he can fly, now!

Tails: Perfect! Now we just gotta subdue him!

Light Bear: Exactly what I was thinking!

*Light Bear charges at the still-furious Meta Ridley, then stops a few feet away*

Light Bear: Take THIS! *points his cane at Meta Ridley*

Rainbow Dash: *dodging a claw swipe from Meta Ridley* What are you doing?

*the ball at the top of Light Bear's cane explodes, as it reveals to be a light bulb with grey paint on it. Electricity gathers at the opposite end of it and fires at the foe in a concentrated streak*

Light Bear: Just putting my Self-Defense Cane™ to use - a man of my age's got to keep himself safe, after all.

Rainbow Dash: We don't have time for advertising, just get to fighting!

Light Bear: Ah, right!

*Tails swoops down and strikes at Ridley with a flying kick, followed by his tails. Ridley bats Tails away, but in so doing leaves himself exposed to another strike from Rainbow Dash. Ridley turns around, grabs Rainbow Dash, and smashes her into the ground*

Pinkie Pie: HEY! Don't you DARE do that to my friends!

*Pinkie Pie runs up and... produces two giant birthday cakes*

Pinkie Pie: Prepare to face the wrath of my ASSAULT CAKES!

*Pinkie Pie throws her cakes at Meta Ridley, then somehow produces and throws a seemingly infinite stream at him. While Ridley is distracted, Tails picks up Light Bear*

Light Bear: Whoa, hey, what're you doing?!

Tails: Just sit still, I need to use you for a sec!

*Tails kicks Light Bear, who involuntarily curls into a ball, at Ridley in a Thunder Shoot attack. Ridley, thoroughly weighed down by the oppressive pastry, is unable to dodge the blow, and is finally rendered unconscious.*

Light Bear: We... we did it!

Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash! Oh, are you alright?

Rainbow Dash: *picking herself up* Y-yeah, I'll be fine... ow...

Light Bear: Oh no, what happened to Charizard and R.O.B.!? I didn't see you catch either of them, and-

Rainbow Dash: Relax, will ya? The other fighters caught and saved them before they could get even more beat up. They're fine.

Light Bear: Phew. Thank goodNess.

Rainbow Dash: Hey, Tails... thanks for helping me out there. I wouldn't have bothered you, but again, I wasn't feeling my best. Light Bear: Aah, yes, thank you, Tails!

Tails: I'm just glad to help out whenever I'm needed, Rainbow. You know that.

Rainbow Dash: Even so... thanks.

Light Bear: Tails, this might be a bit sudden, but what you did today was... (uh, how am I supposed to say this sorta thing again...? Ah yes...) what you did today was invaluable to the stadium's security. I don't know what would have happened if you didn't help to stop Ridley. If you're interested, we can work it out so that you're a full-time fighter over at Super Smash Stadium. Whaddya say?

Tails: O-Oh, wow, uh... gee, I, uh-

Pinkie Pie: Oh my gosh, that's so exciting! You should go, Tails, my friends hang out there all the time, and it's really cool, and there are a ton of people who are also really cool and stuff, and it's really REALLY exciting! Go for it!

Tails: W-well, uh, alright. Uh, yeah, I'd love to!

Light Bear: Perfect! Now, no promises on when you'll be able to fight, as I'll have a few things to talk out with Metal Man.......

*Light Bear looks at the unconscious Meta Ridley*

Light Bear: ...actually I have a LOT of things to talk out with Metal Man. Why does Ridley keep showing up, anyway? This is the third time he's weaseled his way into a fight, and he mentioned something about having some sort of "mission"?

Rainbow Dash: Ugh... I feel like I could sleep for days.

Light Bear: Yeah, I hear ya. For now, though, this is Light Bear, signing out.