Match 37: This Match Is Filler

Fighters for Mushroom Kingdom II: Mario, Luigi


Items: Off

Pinkie Pie: *looks at the title of the episode* Hey now! It can't be all that bad! I'm sure this episode will have some relevance to the plot! *starts fiddling with the title*

Match 37: This Match Is A Thriller!

Fighters for Mushroom Kingdom II: Mario, Luigi


Items: Off

Pinkie Pie: There! All better! *Looks at YOU and smiles widely.* No need to thank me, friends from across the multiverse! I'm off to find the Professor again! *hops off*

*Pinkie Pie is bouncing through the halls, humming to herself. Eventually she reaches the door to Light Bear's chamber and knocks on the door*

Light Bear: *from inside, surprised* Oh! Come in!

*Pinkie Pie pushes the door open and wanders into Light Bear's room. The room is in considerable disarray, and Light Bear seems to be searching frantically through a file cabinet*

Pinkie Pie: Professor...?

Light Bear: Oh, hi, Pink Pie. Sorry, I've been looking for my through something.

Pinkie Pie: Oh, I'm sorry, I wouldn't know where your "through-something" would be! Can you tell me what it looks like?

Light Bear: I mean, my something is- I'm... I

Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, a guessing game! I'm good at these! Now let's see, does it start with a-

*Light Bear brings up his hands to stop Pinkie Pie, then takes a deep breathe to calm himself down*

Light Bear: Whoooo... sorry, Pinkie, I'm a little distracted.

Pinkie Pie: Oh that's okay, I get distracted too all the time! Well, maybe not all the time, but a lot of the time, which is good enough to be all the time, at least this time, right?

Light Bear: Um... right.

Pinkie Pie: So what're you looking for?

Light Bear: Oh... um... nothing.

Pinkie Pie: Well you're looking in the wrong place for nothing. It looks like your file cabinet's full of a lot of somethings!

Light Bear: Ahhh... right.

Pinkie Pie: Light Bear, are you up to something?

Light Bear: Um... no.

Pinkie Pie: Okay.

*seconds pass as the two stare at each other in the silence. Light Bear seems confused, but Pinkie Pie is as bubbly as ever*

Light Bear: *sighing* I'm sorry, I really don't know what I'm doing. I've kinda been a little distracted lately, haven't been able to think straight. I'm sure whatever it was I started out doing it wasn't that important.

Pinkie Pie: *quietly* Oh... Have you been thinking about... you know... your past?

Light Bear: Yeah... I guess I have.

Pinkie Pie: It sounds like you were about to get to something big last time. Maybe you should talk about it!

Light Bear: Probably should. My mind's like an echo chamber - if I don't get my thoughts out, it just keeps bouncing back and forth in there and drives me nuts.

Pinkie Pie: I've met a few squirrels like that.

Light Bear: ...sorry?

Pinkie Pie: Well, you give them just a little ol' sugar cube and the next thing you know-

Light Bear: Oh, I see. Um, yeah, kinda like that.

*another pause, though clearly it's only awkward for the professor*

Pinkie Pie:, let me think... you were talking about how you were the Mayor of Placeton at one point?

Light Bear: Eugh, that's right... I made it clear last time that I wasn't very good at it. I'm a man of science, so I turned to my inventions to help me out. You see, I figured that since I was so bad at running a city-state, someone whose skill was opposite mine would do quite well. So, I sought to make an opposite of me.

Pinkie Pie: An opposite you?

Light Bear: There were a few storylines involving clones, so a "negative clone" wasn't too difficult for me to make. Just inverting a few traits here and there was all that I needed to create a better Mayor Bear.

Pinkie Pie: "Mayor Bear"?

Light Bear: Oh, yeah, I must've forgotten that part. You see, Placeton's custom is that each mayor has a sort-of dynasty, and they adopt an animal as their coat-of-arms and identity as a mayor. I chose the bear, so I was "Mayor Bear".

Pinkie Pie: That sounds... a little complicated.

Light Bear: Do keep in mind that a little kid invented it. The Animator probably combined a couple different ideas he had heard of. Anyway, things seemed alright at first, but I came to discover that I made a few miscalculations with my device... instead of just making a few things opposite, I made him just about my total opposite.

Pinkie Pie: An evil clone?!

Light Bear: Yes... and he was put in the place of utmost power.

Pinkie Pie: Oh no! What happened?!

Light Bear: He made a mess of things, that's for sure. Disposing me and usurping my power entirely, he outed my ploy to the entire town, humiliating me and giving the rest of the town a pretty good reason to dislike me.

Pinkie Pie: That's terrible!

Light Bear: The man was an utter tyrant, reshaping the town in his image and forcing people to do what he wanted, or else he'd torture them and throw them into his prison. It took the combined efforts of every other cast member to deal with him, though they wouldn't trust me to help them.

Pinkie Pie: What'd they do you and your clone?

Light Bear: Well, my dark half-

Pinkie Pie: OH MY GOSH I get it now! The Dark Mayor Bear, and the Light Mayor Bear... THAT'S where your name comes from! Light Bear!

Light Bear: That's... yes, that's right. My dark clone... Dark Bear, they called him... well, few people actually died in the comics, so they just locked him up and threw away the key. As for me... I was ostracized, cast out from Placeton with only my cane and my hat to keep. For, as long as I walked among the denizens of Placeton, I would forever be Light Bear, the one who brought around the worst ruler in Placeton's long history.

*Light Bear sighs and looks away*

Light Bear: ...I've called myself that name ever since so I'd never forget my grave folly...

*a third pause, though this time Pinkie Pie is clearly uncomfortable*

Pinkie Pie: L-Light Bear, I...

Light Bear: Leave me.

Pinkie Pie: ...Alrighty...

*Pinkie Pie leaves and gently pushes the door shut. Light Bear holds his sullen pose long after he is left to his thoughts.*

*Esco's chamber. Esco's hallucinations continue to worsen, to the point that he is unable to concentrate on his meditation. As he exits his pod, he comes across a familiar scene. Several shadowy figures are gathered around a table preparing for a meeting. Esco goes to take a seat, only to find someone who looks just like him sitting in his place. He realizes that the scene unfolding before him is a projection of an event from his past. The man sitting at the head of the table rises from his seat and begins to address the others.*

Master Kazan: Now, there is a reason I have called for this meeting of the Elites on such a short notice.

*A kimono-clad man with a wide pointy straw hat and flowing dark hair responds*

Sai Fasier: Tell me it's not what I think it is, Master.

Master Kazan: Unfortunately, it's true. The Great Legendary Warrior, Jahan Liussano, has disappeared.

Sai Fasier: No...

Master Kazan: But it is true. This is the second time this has happened... Both times I have lost my most powerful Elites! Some of you may recall the disappearance of the wizard Zenoa a few years ago.

*A young woman dressed in a tuscan cloak rises from her seat*

Sanja Watosoa: Umm, excuse me, but who was this wizard exactly?

Master Kazan: Zedox Zenoa... He was the most powerful world-shifter in the clan. One of the few men in existence to have ever become an Avatar!

*Another man, dressed in a short white lab coat stands*

Kunzo Hashan: You mean that this man was able to master all of the elements? I refuse to believe it!

Master Kazan: Ah, but he did, at the cost of his physical state. Spent day and night locked up in his library, studying those books...

*Another ninja appears, rushing through the door to his seat*

Dain Watokhan: Sorry I'm late! I had a little misadventure on my way-

Master Kazan: Even with your speed, you still arrive late... to a meeting of GRAVE IMPORTANCE, nonetheless! You're lucky I have yet to banish you from the Elites!

Captain Crack: *Bows his head* I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again.

Master Kazan: That's MASTER to you!

*The ninja to the left of Kazan, annoyed by the commotion, gets up from his seat*

Past Esco: Excuse me, Master, but I believe we're getting off topic.

*A female ninja sitting across from Esco turns towards Kazan*

Xalessa: Yes. Tell us more about what happened to Legend Liussano.

Dain Watokhan: What?! Something happened to Lazy-Eye?!

Master Kazan: *Sighs* Yes, Watokhan. A few days ago, I sent him on a routine Solo Mission to kill some government officials responsible for that recent massacre in the southwestern lands. With a man like him, it would have taken less than a day, but he has yet to return. Evidence from the scouts has shown that his targets are still alive as well.

Dain Watokhan: Maybe he's a traitor! Remember the Erased Elites? He's probably run off to start his own clan!

Master Kazan: This is different. A few minutes ago, one of the scouts returned with this!

*Kazan takes out a bloody eyepatch and holds it up for all the others to see*

Master Kazan: The scout informed me that this was found just fifty kilometers away from our base. It's possible that he was ambushed and killed not long after taking off.

Past Esco: But Master, this is not just any man we're talking about! Liussano wouldn't fall from a simple ambush!

Master Kazan: That's what puzzles me, Deisedarah. It's possible that he was killed by a group of high-ranked rogue ninja... but he's proven to be capable of defending himself even when strongly outnumbered.

Sanja Watosoa: What about the Black Seal?

*All of the other Elites gasp*

Sanja Watosoa: ... What?

*Master Kazan slowly gets up out of his chair, shaking with rage*

Master Kazan: ... Don't... EVER... MENTION THE BLACK SEAL TO MY FACE!!

Xalessa: Sanja, what are you thinking?! Kazan lost his brother to that dreaded curse!

Dain Watokhan: Yeah! Knock some sense into ya! *jabs Sanja*

Master Kazan: ... This meeting is over. EVERYONE GET OUT!!

*The scene slowly fades away, leaving only Master Kazan's image*

Master Kazan: *Turns to the real Esco* ... Except for you.

Esco: Wait, what?

Master Kazan: There is a great threat lurking within our midst. Do you sense it?

Esco: A threat? You mean... yes. I feel it. I've felt it every waking moment for the past year, ever since I've arrived in Revanda.

Master Kazan: Good. Now, I command you to eliminate this threat completely. Use any method you can. The future of Kazan depends on it!

*Master Kazan's image fades away*

Esco: Yes, master...

*Esco exits his room, heading for Ridley's old base*

*Meanwhile, in the commentary booth, a tall man, to all appearances human, walks in, wearing an orange helmet with a pitch black visor over his eyes. He's also clad in an unusual green outfit and a bright red cape, and for some reason his body is translucent.*

Saiyaman: *takes his seat* Ah, great to be doing stuff around here, eh Navi?

*A small ball of light flies into the booth, quickly growing into a three foot tall humanoid woman with dragonfly wings*

Navi: For me, yeah. But I thought you'd wanted to continue spying-I mean, looking around, Saiya?

Saiyaman: Well...yeah. To be honest I'd rather be doing other things right now...but in my humble opinion Metal's Stadium less than optimal shape right now. I can sort of see why he came to power, but...I feel the fans deserve better! They deserve a hero like- *sticks his arms out and strikes a pose* Saiyaman!

Navi: Um...okay.

Saiyaman: Say, Navi, didn't you use to look more...humanesque?

Navi: Yeah, but I figured it wasn't worth givin' up being able to fly. Maybe I'll change my mind again one of these days. Hey, isn't that Boshi in the stands?

Saiyaman: Yeah. I um...guess that means you're going to go down there and stab him or something?

Navi: Nah, I only ever did that 'cause I thought he was dangerous. But he was really just kind of annoying...maybe I should have tried to be friends with him and all, you know? I could use a chocolate buddy. Besides, this is a different Boshi, right? What with Revanda being a different realm from the one we're used to and everything.

Boshi: That all depends. Was your Boshi as infuriated by this show as I am?

Saiyaman: Wah! How'd you get up here!?

Boshi: I got randomly teleported here by whatever screwy tech this place is running on. I swear, no one on the staff here has half a brain.

Navi: *singing* Why do we all come here? I guess we'll never know.

Saiyaman: *singing* It's like a kind of torture to have to watch the show!

Boshi: ...and now you're ripping off the Muppets. That's it, I'm going back down to the stands to sit through this train wreck properly.

Saiyaman: ...huh. I guess that's our signal to get things moving.

Navi: *pushes some buttons on the console and the arena appears* All right then, today's match is going to be Mario against Luigi on an old favorite, Mushroom Kingdom II. Two lives, and no items today, just an old fashioned one on one duel.

Saiyaman: ...why is it called that if it's clearly taking place in the dream world of Sub-Con?

Navi: Dunno. Sakurai was probably drunk at the time. So, one short, fat tower in the middle, two taller, skinnier ones on the side...pretty straightforward. Catherine, you ready down there?

Birdo: *walks onto the rightmost tower* Ready as I'll ever be! *walks back into hiding*

Saiyaman: Luigi's showing up on the left side of the middle platform hopping out of a warp pipe.

Navi: Mario is...still not here. Is he getting high again off of his "secret" stash? No wait...there he is, hopping out of another pipe. Good thing he's not not smoking the pipe.

Saiyaman: *sighs* Navi, that was terrible.

Navi: *smirks* Oh, let me have my fun. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! LOOK, LISTEN, AND BE AMAZED!

Saiyaman: We, the SSS commentators, are here for your entertainment! First is I, the Great Saiyaman!

Navi: And me, the interviewer who isn't Mash, Navi!

Saiyaman: And without further ado-


Saiyaman: Mario shoots a fireball from his palm, watching it bounce towards his brother and burn him!

Navi: But Luigi's quick to counter with a fireball of his own, snapping his fingers and letting a green flame fly from them right into Mario's face!

Saiyaman: Mario decides to dispense with ranged combat altogether and pummel Luigi with two punches and a kick!

Navi: Luigi turns things around with two punches and slam? I totally forgot he could do that.

Saiyaman: As usual Luigi's kind of a weirdo.

"Spam! Made of mostly real ham!"
Lives: 2
Lives: 2

Navi: Luigi jams his fingers into Mario's stomach for a crushing smash attack that sends the red capped plumber sailing onto the left tower!

Saiyaman: And to add insult to injury, Birdo pops up on that same tower just in time to barrage Mario with eggs from her mouth!

Navi: Mario's falling down towards the pit on the left of the middle platform...he looks like he's about to make a recovery with a double jump-

Saiyaman: But Luigi gives Mario a flaming headbutt with the Green Missile, sending him into the "helpless" state, and costing him his first life!

"Youtube Excrement Televised Program! Much more refined than that the Youtube Poop of the peasants!"
Lives: 1
Lives: 2

Saiyaman: Luigi tries to do some damage to Mario with his flaming Super Jump Punch!

Navi: But he's forgotten Mario's brief invincibility from respawning! Mario counters with his own Super Jump Punch, coins flying everywhere as combo damage is dealt against Luigi and the green capped one flies to the right tower!

Saiyaman: Birdo blasts Luigi with her eggs, sending him into the right pit-

Navi: But Luigi is saved by a Pidgit on a flying carpet!

Pidgit: I have a name, you know!

Luigi: Thanks a-buddy!

Pidgit: Heh, well us neglected types need to stick together!

Saiyaman: Luigi leaps off of the carpet, back onto that right tower, and uses his Super Jump Punch to send Birdo sailing off screen with a fiery uppercut!

Navi: He'd better be careful, though, 'cause Mario's coming for him...and lands a Mario Tornado as soon as he reaches the right tower!

Saiyaman: Luigi's hurting from that spinning punch...But as he gets up, he's speedy enough to grab Mario! He spins his body and his brother around in a circle, flinging him to the right! Looks like this is it for Mario!

"Fosters. Australian for insect repellant."
Lives: ?
Lives: 2

Navi: Uh...either our scoreboard is screwed up or Mario's not done yet.

Saiyaman: Mario comes back from beyond the arena, apparently having controlled his fall well enough that he didn't fly far enough to trigger one of the Stadium's patented simulated deaths! He pushes his palm right in Luigi's face and BOOM! A blast of fire comes out of it that smashes Luigi across the arena and takes away his first life!

Lives: 1
Lives: 1

Navi: Anything could happen now, the brothers are evenly matched.

Saiyaman: Luigi respawns above the center tower, leaping towards Mario, landing right in front of him, spamming him with fireballs-

Navi: But even though Mario's taking some heat, he's able to take advantage of the gap in Luigi's firing pattern and leap over him, landing on the center tower-

Saiyaman: -While Birdo appears, and blasts Luigi with a fireball of her own, clearly paying him back for his early attack.

Navi: Yeesh, remind me never to get Catherine angry.

Saiyaman: Mario manages to catch him with his Super Jump Punch, the multiple hits devastating Luigi's body even as smoke is still flying off of it from Birdo's blast.

"MooMoo Milk. We're pretty sure it comes from cows."
Lives: 1
Lives: 1

Navi: Luigi's hurting pretty bad, this could be it.

Saiayman: He's managed to grab Mario again and toss him up towards the sky, though-will this throw work any better than his last one?

Navi: Hey, there's that Pidgit again!

Pidgit: I HAVE A NAME! IT'S BILL!*fires a beam out of one of his wings and into Mario*

Navi: Wow, he's...drawing power from somewhere! Like he's got some sort of...unforeseen extra technique!

Saiyaman: ...should you really be commentating on this if you don't know what is?

Navi: ...I've got a reputation for opening my mouth whenever I can, Saiya. I don't wanna ruin it.

Mario: Mama Miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! *is sent into the background for a K.O.*

Luigi: That's an awesome-a-shot! *gives a thumbs up to the Pidgit*

Pidgit: Never fails!



Navi: *flies into the hallway* Well, time for interviews. *takes out her microphone* So, Luigi, how do you feel about your latest victory!

Luigi: I AM GLAD THAT EVERYONE WILL FINALLY PAY ATTENTION TO Weegee! *does a happily little dance, tapping his feet and flailing his arms everywhere*

Navi: Um...thank you, Luigi. *flies further down the hallway to talk to Mario* And Mario, how do you feel about this development? Do you feel like you've been cheated?

Mario: Well...I did get-a-lot of a-help from Birdo, so I don't a-have much room to talk. 'Sides, it's a-fun tagging-a-fists with my brother every now and then!

Navi: Huh, a surprisingly good sport, you are, Mario. Well, that's it for me, back to you in the booth, Saiya.

Saiyaman: Thank you Navi. *leans back in his chair* Ah, nice to see that I've managed to bring more order and sanity back to this place.

Metal Man: *is suddenly sitting next to Saiya in the other chair* Oh reaaaaallly.... just what do YOU think you're doing, huh?

Saiyaman: Uh...what am I doing?

Metal Man: You wouldn't happen to be... thwarting my plans, would you? *Sinisterly takes out his gun*

Saiyaman: Thwarting your plans?

Metal Man: Well, you are, aren't you? HMMMMM? *Leans into Saiyaman's face, staring into his eyes with his soulless blue-phazon cyborg eyes*

Saiyaman: Uh...yes.

Metal Man: Well, I can't have that. *Glows blue and shoves Saiyaman aside, then wildly fires at him with the pistol* YOU! *BANG* CAN'T *BANG* STOP *BANG* THE *BANG* MUSIC! Don't even TRY to be like Alys Brangwin, GHOST OF Saiyaman! GO HAUNT THE X-ZONE! *BANG BANG BANG BANG*

Saiyaman: Gyaaah! *runs away, into the hallway managing to avoid getting hit* Phew, that was close! Why does he think I'm a ghost? *looks at himself* Oh, forgot to turn off the fancy hologram thing I was messing with...but if he thinks I'm a ghost...hmm. I might be able to use that someday. Saiyaman, AWAY! *runs down the hallway with his arms stretched out, making "woosh" noises with his voice*

Metal Man: *Cackles and puts away his pistol* I've been waiting for the longest time to do that. I think ever since Saiyaman told me I couldn't flood the stands and use them to play Water Polo. Oh well. I have things to do. Iron Man things, probably. If I remember... it's so hard to remember when your brain is full of holes like mine, though. It makes you speak to no one at all too. I should have it looked at...

*Metal glances at the screen blankly for a minute*

Metal Man: ...Naaah. *Walks off*

*Twilight cautiously approaches the door to Esco's room. It opens, and Esco steps out, intimidating Twilight once again with his signature gaze.*

Twilight: Y-you wanted to see me?

Esco: Yes. Please step inside.

*Twilight enters. A loud commotion can be heard coming from within the room, followed by a sudden silence.*