Match #4: Epic Sword Fight

The Fighters for Hyper Shrine: Link vs Ganondorf vs Meta Knight vs Marth vs Roy vs Ike
2 stock
Items: off... sorta

Fighter Movesets:
Link: Spin Attack Bow Boomerang Bomb
Ganondorf: Dark Dive Lightning Ball Flame Choke Wizard Foot
Meta Knight: Shuttle Loop Mach Tornado Drill Rush Dimensional Cape
Marth: Dolphin Slash Shield Breaker Dancing Blade Counter
Roy: Flaming Slash Overhead Shield Breaker Dancing Blade Flame Counter
Ike: Aether Eruption Quick Draw Counter

Esco: All right, SSS viewers! This is Escomanivero Deisedarah, your commentator for today's match!

Crowd: *cheers*

Esco: Today, we will have an epic showdown between six master swordsmen, the likes of- ... What do you want, you little runt?

Yesman: I just came to inform you that according to Metal's policies, you aren't allowed to commentate on a match alone.

Esco: Well, are you going to commentate then?

Yesman: Sorry, but I have some important errands to run for Metal.

Esco: Okay, it looks like I'm going to have to something a little different... Everyone in the crowd! Stand up if you want to be a commentator!

Digi: Hey! I'm still here! You could always-

Esco: Not interested.

Digi: =(

Esco: *looks at the crowd and points at someone* You there, With the pointy hat! Come on up!

*A fan gets up and walks to the commentator's booth*

Esco: What's your name?

Kevin: I'm Kevin. I've been a fan of the stadium since I was a little kid!

Esco: Do you want to help commentate for this match?

Kevin: Sure!

Esco: Okay. Everyone listen up! This kid's name is Kevin, and he'll be a commentator for this match!

Crowd: *cheers*

Kevin: So, what's today's matchup?

Esco: Today's matchup is between six master swordsmen: Link, Ganondorf, Meta Knight, Marth, Roy, and Ike!

Kevin: Sounds like it's going to be one heck of a free-for-all!

Esco: This match will be 2 stocks, no items, on the Hyper Shrine!

*Hyper Shrine phases into the stadium*

Kevin: This stage has a main platform, two floating platforms, and some statue in the center. It looks a little small, don't you think?

Esco: Ehh, I was hoping it would be a little bigger... Anyway, that statue is based off of a master swordsman from a time long ago.

Kevin: So, are we going to start the match?

Esco: Yes. ENTER, THE FIGHTERS!

*Link descends in a pillar of light on the leftmost edge*

*Ganondorf phases in from a cloud of darkness on the left floating platform*

*Meta Knight swoops in and lands to the left of the statue*

*Marth, Roy, and Ike appear from one large runic portal and take their positions opposite the other fighters*

Esco: Now to turn the items off... *reaches for the items switch* ... You have to be sh**ing me.

Kevin: What's wrong?

Esco: The items switch is broken... and it's set to MAX! I bet Metal has something to do with this...

Kevin: But this is supposed to be a no-items match! What are we going to do?

Esco: Okay, whenever an item appears, we leave it in the commentator's booth. As long as we don't throw them in, there won't be any items.

Kevin: Okay! It's time to start the match!

Esco: READY... FIGHT!!

Roy: Alright, men! Stick to the plan!

*Marth and Ike nod in agreement*

Esco: The three Fire Emblem swordsmen rush in towards the others!

Kevin: I thought you said this was a free-for-all!

Esco: It is, I didn't say that they couldn't form alliances.

Kevin: The three are ganging up on Meta Knight! It's a curb-stomp battle!

Ike: This is what you get for being high tier, asshole!

Esco: It looks like Link and Ganondorf are going at it on the left edge. They repeatedly clash swords!

Kevin: Link finds an opening and thrusts his sword forwards!

Esco: Ganondorf barely even flinches. He strikes Link with a ball of lightning!

Kevin: But Link recovers, and nails Ganondorf with a downwards stab!

Esco: The two of them are completely oblivious to the carnage that's going on right behind them! The Fire Emblem Lords are showing no mercy to Meta Knight!

Kevin: SHAZAM! Roy lands a powerful downwards slash and knocks Meta Knight off the edge!

Esco: Now the trio are turning their attention towards Link and Ganondorf!

Kevin: Ike jumps at Ganondorf with an eruption, while the other two go after Link with a dancing blade tag-team combo!

Esco: Meta Knight respawns and hides on the right side, away from the action.

Marth: [indecipherable Japanese]

Roy: Got it!

Esco: Roy runs towards the cowering Meta Knight and lunges with a rising slash!

Kevin: But Meta Knight avoids him, and counters with a tornado!

Meta Knight: You dare to fight me all alone? You fool!

Esco: Meta Knight is taking revenge on Roy, juggling him with several aerial slashes, like an 8-inch tall "Lazy Eye" Liussano!

Kevin: What's that?

Esco: Oh... I'll tell you about him later.

Kevin: Back towards the left, Link and Marth go at it! Link just nailed him with another downwards thrust!

Esco: Ganondorf seems to be holding his own against Ike, striking him with a powerful crescent slash. Ike is helpless in the air!

Kevin: But Marth comes to his aid! He jumps behind Ganondorf-

Esco: -And Ganondorf uses another lightning ball!

Kevin: But Marth counters it! Ganondorf is sent into the stratosphere!

Esco: Meanwhile, Ike Lunges at Link with a Quick Draw!

Kevin: He grabs the edge, just as Link is going to reach it with his hookshot...

Esco: ... And Link plummets into the white abyss.

Kevin: Hey, It's starting to get a bit cramped in here with all of these items. Can we drop some of them?

Esco: NO. This is a no-items match, and that is FINAL.

Kevin: Link and Ganondorf have revived!

Ganondorf: I really hate to say this, Link, but we can not deal with these other swordsmen alone.

Link: Are you saying you want us to team up?

Ganondorf: Unfortunately, yes.

Link: Okay. I'll rush in and you back me up. Let's go! SCRAAAAH!

Ganondorf: Wait! Ah, to Hell with it.

Esco: Link charges towards Ike and knocks him back with a spin attack!

Kevin: Marth drops down and spikes Link into the ground!

Esco: Roy comes in on a revival platform...

Kevin: Wait, you mean we missed him get KOd?

Meta Knight: You idiots! Learn to properly commentate!

Esco: Ganondorf fires another lightning ball!

Kevin: But Marth strikes it back at him! He must have played Ocarina of Time.

Esco: Ike uses an Aether, but Link grabs the edge! He falls, cursing and screaming.

Kevin: He revives and snipes an unsuspecting Meta Knight with quick draw!

Esco: Roy descends from his revival platform to prey on the hapless Meta Knight! Now he begins to charge...

Kevin: Link and Ganondorf attack Marth! He is overwhelmed!

Esco: It looks like he's going to... did a Pokeball just appear on the stage? WHO THREW THAT!?

*Yesman appears in the commentator's booth, almost over his head in items*

Yesman: Sorry about that, but Metal wanted me to give you another messa-

Esco: *filled with rage* GET OUUUUUT!!

Yesman: Meep! *disappears*

Kevin: Don't worry, Ganondorf threw it off the stage.

Esco: All right... That's good.

Kevin: Link and Ganondorf continue to pummel Marth!

Marth: [angry Japanese]

Roy: Okay, okay! We'll help you out! ... as soon as I have my revenge...

Kevin: SHAZAM! Roy smacks Meta Knight with a fully-charged shield breaker! Did you see that, Esco?

Esco: *KO'd*

Kevin: ... Esco?

Kevin: Aww crap. I can't commentate on my own!

Esco: *wakes up* Sorry about that. Sometimes I just pass out from anger.

Ike: Ha ha! We did it! We destroyed the top tier character!

Roy: Hey! I was the one who defeated him!

Ike: I was the one who wore him down! You just came in for the kill!

Roy: Yeah, well if it wasn't for my shield breaker, he would've comboed you to death like he did to me!

Ike: Want to settle this in battle?

Roy: Of course! Prepare yourself!

Ike: That's my line!

Kevin: It looks like Ike and Roy are fighting over the kill! Ike burns Roy with an eruption!

Esco: Link and Ganondorf take advantage of this and finish off Marth!

Kevin: I hear someone knocking on the door behind us.

Esco: Don't answer it!

Kevin: I couldn't even if I tried. There's too many items in here!

*outside the commentator's booth*

Metal: Esco! Open up! I need to tell you something!

Esco: *muffled from the items* SILENCE! I'm commentating!

Metal: *sing-songy* Oka-ay... *walks away, holding the item switch*

*back inside*

Kevin: Marth comes back on the revival platform, while Roy and Ike continue to "fire" at each other with their flaming weapons!

Roy: Quit stealing my moves, Ike! *strikes Ike with a flaming dolphin slash*

Ike: Hey! At least my game wasn't a catastrophic failure! *counters Roy's attack*

Roy: Your game didn't sell very well either! *counters Ike's counter*

Esco: Marth heads over to the warring Lords and attempts to talk them out of fighting!

Marth: [concerned Japanese]

Roy: Shove it, Marth! Me and Ike are fighting here!

Ike: You mean Ike and I-

Roy: *slashes Ike again* You can shut up too!

Marth: [insulted Japanese]

Ike: We'll stop fighting as soon as one of us falls!

Marth: ["I'm going to kill you both" Japanese]

Kevin: Marth attacks the two Lords with a fully-charged shield breaker! They have no time to react!

Esco: Both of them are too beaten to recover! They both join Meta Knight in the White Abyss!

Roy: This is all your fault.

Ike: No, this is all YOUR fault.

Kevin: Argh! The items are pushing me against the window!

Esco: Damn, I can barely move! Just keep your eyes on the match, and don't stop commentating!

Kevin: Okay! With the Fire Emblem Alliance gone, Link and Ganondorf can take out Marth easily!

Esco: Marth isn't going to give up that easily. After all, he's a top tier character.

Kevin: Why does everyone have to talk about tiers like that?

Esco: Because Smash is serious business. Now then, Link is preparing an arrow as Ganondorf lunges at Marth.

Kevin: Marth attempts to counter, but gets caught in Ganondorf's flame choke!

Esco: Ganondorf kicks Marth backwards into Link's arrow!

Kevin: Marth recovers quickly, and begins juggling Link in the air!

Esco: Ganondorf jumps towards Marth with a dark dive, and connects with the uppercut!

Kevin: Marth's combo has been broken! Now Link lands another downwards thrust!

Esco: But Marth counters it! Link is sent flying!

Ganondorf: Now I have you!

Kevin: And... SHAZAM! Ganondorf shocks Marth with a lightning ball! He's flying off the stage too!

Esco: Link recovers with a spin jump, slamming Marth in the process! He's gone!

Kevin: Too many items! The pressure is increasing!

Esco: Just wait... one... moment! The match will be all over soon...

Kevin: It's too late! The items... AAAGH!!

Esco: Can't... hold... GRAAAAAH!!

*The commentating booth's window shatters under the pressure, and all of the items within rain down on the arena at once*

Kevin: . . .

Esco: . . .

Kevin: So... what happens now?

Esco: I don't know. I've never seen this many items appear on the arena before.

*The two stare in shock at the arena, which is filled with a ridiculous pile of items, covering absolutely everything*

Kevin: Do you think they will make it out of there?

Esco: I don't know...

Kevin: Wait, I see a white glow coming from within the pile...

Esco: This can't be good.

*A bright white flash fills the arena, and most of the items are repelled off the stage*

Kevin: What was that?!

Esco: The statue... it's alive!

*The statue stands up, radiating a white aura, and looks over the arena*

Statue: This place... was supposed to be used for the honourable battles of master swordsmen! As the first swordsman of the stadium, I banned the usage of items on my arena!

Kevin: The first swordsman of the arena? This stadium must be older than we thought...

Statue: As the overseer, I expected a fair fight between the greatest of warriors! So tell me, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DESECRATION OF MY ARENA!?

Link: *pointing to Ganondorf* Uhh... he did it.

Statue: You will PAY!! *Another flash of white light fills the arena*

Ganondorf: What?! I never-

Esco: It seems the statue has blasted Ganondorf off of the stage!

Kevin: The statue returns to his place in the center of the arena; his work is done.

GAME SET!

This game's winner is... LINK!

Esco: All right, let's go to Mash for the interviews.

Kevin: Meanwhile, you should tell me some more about this "Liussano" guy you mentioned earlier.

*Link's Room*

Mash: Thanks, Creepy Ninja of the Blackest Night who I still can't really trust! I'm here with the winner. So tell me, Link, how does it feel to win?

Link: It feels pretty good.

Mash: And what of that somewhat cowardly display at the end there?

Link: Oh, Ganondorf saw it coming. I would've defeated him anyway.

Mash: Speaking of which, here's Ganondorf-

*Ganondorf walks over to Link and punches him in the face, then leaves*

Mash: O...kay. I'm going to go to the Fire Emblem Lords now.

*Fire Emblem Room*

Mash: So, Marth, it seems that things didn't go as planned for you guys.

Marth: [annoyed Japanese]

Mash: All right then, I take it that Ike and Roy are still fighting?

Marth: *Nods sadly*

Roy: *In the distance* If you just backed off and gave me the kill, we would've been the victors!

Ike: *In the distance* Well if you weren't so selfish, none of this would have happened!

Mash: Okay. Well, I hope they can reconcile soon. Off to the loser's circle!

*Meta Knight's Room*

Mash: This won't end well... Is anyone in here?

Meta Knight: *talking to himself in a creepy-insane voice* Short hop, dodge 45 degrees downwards, slide into three upwards slashes, jump and upslash to the top of the boundary, then shuttle... No, that won't work!

Mash: *Scared out of his wits* ... Meta Knight?

Meta Knight: WHO IS THERE!? IS THAT YOU, ROY! HAVE AT THEE!! *starts swinging his sword around wildly*

Mash: ACK! *bolts out of the room*

Meta Knight: *muttering to himself again* Twas only a gust of wind. Now then, how about a short hop, forwards slash, fast fall, landing so that I can follow up with a...

Mash: *Panting heavily* Okay, that about does it for interviews. Back to you, Ninja.

*commentator's booth*

Esco: So then he grabbed this one guy by the arm and tore it right out of it's socket, then bludgeoned him with it!

Kevin: Wow! So is it true that this Liussano guy actually defeated 13 rogue ninjas using only 2 arrow tips and a jar of mayonnaise?

Esco: I promise you, everything I have told you is true. He was so good at his job that even Master Kazan himself couldn't detect him!

Kevin: No wonder he was presented with the golden armor of the ancients! So what happened to him?

Esco: I don't know. One day on a routine mission he just disappeared. He was still missing when I left the clan.

Kevin: Oh. So, I guess that's it then? Well, it was great to be able to commentate for once!

Esco: I must admit, you did very well for someone who doesn't work here. I guess it's time for you to go then.

Kevin: Okay. See ya. *leaves the commentating booth*

*Yesman arrives on the scene*

Yesman: Esco? Metal's here to see you.

Esco: Very well. Bring him in.

Metal: Ed! What in the penguin-punching archipelago was that? You're gonna have to pay me LOTS OF MONEY for that window you broke!

Esco: It's not my fault that SOMEONE broke the items switch!

Metal: Sure it isn't. But by gum, you were supposed to suffer my itemy based wrath! You cheated, you cheating cheatface! I'll make you pay for this... both monetarily and emotionally! You'll face the rubber shoepants of violent wrath from me, foolish Ninja face! This isn't the end. This is the beginning of a beautiful hateship! A ship of violence, mustard and jellyfish! Ahahahaaaaa!!!

*Metal begins summoning random items and throwing them all over the place while babbling incoherently.*

Esco: I don't know half of what you just said, but I'm not going to let you win this argument!

Yesman: Uhh... now would be a good time to turn the camera off. Signing out!

Metal: No! You can't take the camera off of me! I was just about to--

*Camera cuts out after being hit by a rubber jellyfish*