March #42: Mario's Buddies

Fighters for Peach's Castle (Melee):
Luigi vs. Peach vs. Yoshi
2 stock, Super Mario Bros. themed assist trophies only

(Mario and several of his Mushroom Kingdom compatriots are hanging out)

Peach: (sighs) Mario, I'm worried about the Superpowers. Things are getting out of hand and I'd hate to see the Stadium in such a terrible state.

Mario: I-a know, Princess...we can't-a really do anything about a-it, either.

Luigi: Let's-a see, Bowser's not-a kidnapping you again, and I've got-a no mansions to-a ghost-a-bust for now.

Yoshi: Like you'd wanna anyway!

Luigi: I-a get-a over it. E. Gadd's-a cool... (mutters) in a weird-a sorta way.

Mario: I-a dunno, Luigi...

Luigi: Trust-a me, it's-a not a day job. I'm-a fine.

Peach: (giggles) Oh Luigi, I think you've got your own little niche.

(Luigi shrugs)

Yoshi: Yeah, but I do cooler stuff...I can swallow shells and spit out fireballs?

Luigi: You also-a don't-a really do much until a-me or Mario ask-a you anyway.

Yoshi: Heeeey! (folds his arms and huffs)

Peach: I have noticed that...

Luigi: And-a what about-a you? You haven't-a done-a much lately besides that-a time you teamed-a up with an um-a-brella!

Yoshi: She'll beat you at three laps on any Rainbow Road.

Mario: Even-a the first-a one?

Yoshi: Uhh... (scratches his head) I'd leave that to Lakitu.

Peach: Friends, we're all capable of good things with or without Mario. Maybe we should just spar it out?

Mario: That's-a fine-a by-a me.

Luigi: Yeah, I can sure-a take either of-a you two-a on! I've-a already beat-a my brother, so I don't-a think I need-a to fight him again, right?

Mario: Heeeey...okay, okay, I'll-a stay away from this-a fight.

Yoshi: You are so on...

Peach: Hmm, may I host?

Mario: Of-a course, Princess!

Yoshi: I haven't been on top of the castle in a while!

Luigi: And I-a can jump from one-a side to the other quicker than you-a two!

(Mario starts laughing, enjoying the banter between his friends)

Yoshi: Nah!

Mario: Wait-a, wait wait wait. And we should-a invite all-a our friends to-a this match?

Peach: All of them?

Mario: Well, okay, maybe-a not-a Bowser or Wario, but most of the others!

Luigi: And-a not WaLuigi?

Mario: You're-a the only-a one with a big-a grudge against him!

Luigi: Ehhh...

Yoshi: (chuckles) This sounds like fun!

Mario: It's about the only thing-a we can-a do right now...

Digi: ...and that is what has finally led us to back to another match here at SSS. Personally, I can't be any more relieved at this, how about you, Mario?

Mario: Indeed! This is gonna be-a good!

Digi: Well, who would you choose between them?

Mario: Oh-a boy, I'm-a not-a sure. My brother's-a strong, the Princess is using her own-a castle, but-a Yoshi's quick! Who knows?

Digi: I'm thinking Peach myself. She always seems like she's got more to prove than anyone else out there, and as we've said, this is more of a home match for her than the other two.

Mario: I-a think everybody's got-a something to show today! But we're-a here to see our-a friends have some fun!

Digi: (nods) It's certainly a nice change of let's bring everyone in!

(Luigi warps in on the stage right wing of the castle. Peach walks through a Subcon door on the very top, and Yoshi breaks out of an egg stage left.)

Digi: Okay, they're ready to fight, and you know? Mario, you should have the honors.

Mario: Mm-hmm! Let's-a go!

Digi: And look at Yoshi already sprinting towards the center of the arena, kicking Peach a couple of times! Luigi bides his time a little bit. I guess he's expecting an Assist Trophy to show up.

Mario: He's-a taking it easy, but he's-a jumping up-a now. Peach-a plucks a veggie out of the roof and chucks-a it at Yoshi's head...

Digi: And he doesn't eat it! The fight drops over to the right hand half, where Luigi started, and now they get into a fray. Luigi retreats and singes Peach with a couple of fireballs. Yoshi is caught by one too as the first Trophy falls in. It's off on the other end, though.

Mario: Nobody's-a running for it. They're just-a gonna fight it-a out on their-a side right now. Maybe they're-a saving integrity?

Digi: Who knows, but I see Princess Peach walloping Luigi against the wall in the middle with her frying pan! Yoshi joins in and throws him down onto the roof!

Don't be a Donte. Follow your continuity.
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
Lives: 2

Mario: They keep-a ignoring the Trophy, and wow! What a smash-a by Luigi! He just about-a set Yoshi's scales on-a fire!

Digi: Yeah, that's hot stuff. Yoshi returns the favor by laying a Luigi-sized egg between himself and Peach. Neither are afraid to gang up on him while he's trapped.

Mario: Well, my-a brother finally breaks out of-a that as a new Trophy falls-a in, and Luigi decides he's-a gonna go for it! He tosses it down and, uh...I don't-a see anything yet...

Digi: I do! A Monty Mole is burrowing out of the walls of the castle and leaps up to smack Peach around! Some of his buddies join in and collect a hit on Yoshi too. While this is going on, a Banzai Bill is about to crash into the other side.

Mario: The Princess is-a grabbed by Yoshi, who takes a leap and hurls-a her out at the Bill! Look-a out!

Digi: She's caught in the blast and takes a lot of damage! Meanwhile, Luigi and Yoshi continue to duke it out. Yoshi hurls an egg at Luigi, but he dodges it. Now he runs in and Cyclones the dino.

Mario: Peach continues to rest on the-a other side. I-a don't-a blame-a her, she needs to catch her-a breath after that-a hit!

Warning: Replica Belmont family whips not guaranteed to slay vampires if wielded by a non-Belmont.
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
Lives: 2

Digi: As you can see, Yoshi's doing the best job dodging attacks so far, but not for long. Peach jumps back in behind him and gives him a taste of the Peach Bomber.

Mario: And that-a one looked pretty-a rotten to me! Yoshi whips his-a tail back at-a Peach, ducks a punch, and then-a grabs Luigi again-a...socks him-a couple of good-a ones and tosses him-a up! Uh oh!

Digi: And that is good enough to kill him. Peach runs for a switch, steps on it, and gets the ! Blocks stage right to pop up...

Mario: Looks like she's-a going for a Trophy...she heads-a to a Block and one pops-a up!

Digi: Who will she get this time? She floats back to the castle and tosses it down, it's a Boo.

Mario: Hmm, I-a wonder what the Boo's-a gonna do. My bro's-a returned to the castle and jumps down...look-a out, the Boo is-a gone, brother!

Digi: While Peach and Yoshi scuffle a bit, the Boo is stalking its prey, floating through the wall...goes to Luigi and strikes!

(Boo hovers right behind Luigi and starts to let out a loud cackle)

Luigi: WHA?! (He turns around just in time, which causes the Boo to shriek and cover its face...) Hmph! (Luigi stares it down for a moment and bolts away from the Boo)

Mario: Nice-a job! I don't-a think that Boo is ready to leave-a's-a floating towards-a Yoshi...

Digi: Yeah, it's gonna try one more time. Luigi and Peach square off, with Toad blocking a fireball...

(Meanwhile, the Boo makes it to Yoshi and cackles again)

Yoshi: WAHHHH! (He doesn't have the reflex to turn around and counter the Boo...) ;;;@_@

Mario: And it-a looks like the Boo has-a stunned-a Yoshi! The Princess jumps-a over the center and smashes him-a with her golf club.

Digi: A delayed payoff for Princess Peach, this is going to give Luigi a spare moment as well as Yoshi swallows her and munches a couple of times.

Mario: He just-a spits her back-a out...

Wario Ponders Lawsuit With EA Over Inability To Buy Purple Porsche. More at 11.
Lives: 1
Lives: 2
Lives: 2

Digi: Now Luigi knocks Peach over with a couple of quick jabs before scoring with the Flaming Coin Punch! A direct hit knocks Peach out for the first time! Yoshi smacks Luigi with an egg while he falls back down.

Mario: It looks-a like the Boo has-a floated away from-a the match-a now, leaving every-a-one to settle it-a themselves. Yoshi gets-a hit to the side-a, but he's-a gonna make it-a back.

Digi: Luigi's definitely getting into the swing now, trading a few blows with Peach but he seems to be winning that fight. Yoshi jumps up and does the Hip Drop, missing them both, but Luigi takes a bit of star damage.

Mario: Oh, that's-a just-a gonna get their attention! The Princess grabs-a Yoshi and flings-a him against the wall, and Luigi's charging a Smash.

Digi: And it's a direct hit! Yoshi bounces hard off the side of the castle and all the way back out the opposite way, leaving everyone on their second life!

Mario: While it's-a going on a-though, Luigi and-a Peach keep throwing-a stuff at-a each other. Here comes another-a Assist-a Trophy!

Digi: Yoshi rolls up and steamrolls the two as his invicibility fades, popping out just short of the Trophy...he tosses it down, and it's WaLuigi!

Mario: Oh, I think this is going to be a bit-a awkward!

Digi: Yeah, Luigi and WaLuigi are having a bit of a staredown, kinda like when the Boo tried scaring Luigi, and finally WaLuigi starts using his racket.

Mario: But between Luigi's-a bubble shield and Peach-a using Toad, most of the shots are-a blocked. Yoshi actually takes-a some-a shots bouncing back at-a him.

SSS Fanreel: @MarisaDaZe Fun match but needs more mushrooms, ze~ ^.^
Lives: 1
Lives: 1
Lives: 2

Digi: Doesn't seem to be hurting him too much as WaLuigi trudges off...apparently disappointed at his results. (chuckles)

Mario: Yeah, he didn't-a hit-a Luigi that-a many times...if at-a all. So it's another fight between-a the three, Peach trying to clear-a the roof on her own.

Digi: She does so and tries scrambling to the top, but that's right where Banzai Bill is coming in again! Is she going to be the victim for a second time?

No, she floats back over to Luigi and Yoshi.

Mario: But she could-a easily toss-a one of them-a up to the top! She-a grabs Yoshi and tosses him-a straight up, but-a, not to the center.

Digi: Yoshi tries the Hip Drop again and hits Luigi square in the noggin. He bounces around a bit but stays in shape...Banzai Bill starts exploding but everyone stays clear of the blast this time.

Mario: And now-a the Princess is-a surrounded by Luigi and-a Yoshi! Wow, they're-a really going at it!

Digi: Peach tries clearing them out with her frying pan, but the damage has already been done. Yoshi is swept away by the pan and Luigi is hit around...he charges a Missile and strikes Peach, though.

Mario: It-a didn't misfire, too, so he's-a still okay...

Lucky Star Hair Dye: Now available in Extra Large and Konata size tablets!
Lives: 1
Lives: 1
Lives: 1

Digi: Indeed, one more Trophy falls into place, but it's well on the other side. Yoshi's gonna go for it, though...the others are soon to follow. Peach lags behind a bit while Luigi scales the center with ease.

Mario: Yoshi's running to-a the trophy but-a Luigi sends him-a past it with a running-a shot! Luigi goes for-a the Trophy himself!

Digi: This time it's Lakitu, who floats up a bit, scouting the territory...Luigi hangs out by the floating ! Blocks on the right as Spinies start to be tossed onto the castle...this could get messy.

Mario: Not-a too many right now, but-a certainly enough to make-a them watch their-a step. Luigi hops-a back onto the castle and-a punches the Princess...who lands-a right on a Spiny!

Digi: This tosses her into the air. Yoshi tries eating a Spiny but it seems to be crawling just a bit too low for Yoshi to eat!

Mario: Perfect for-a Luigi, he singes him-a with another fireball...he's-a going to smash-a Peach! She's-a flying but stays in-a the ring...

Digi: He continues to hit Yoshi, grabbing him and tossing him straight down onto a Spiny! He rockets off into the distance and is gone!

Mario: Now it's-a just Luigi and-a the Princess. She swats a Spiny away with-a her golf-a club but there are still a couple-a of a more-a around...Luigi just-a jumps around-a them.

Digi: They're minding their step a bit, probably waiting for the Spinies to fall off the side...Lakitu's already floated away. Well, one Spiny left and Luigi jumps for Peach!

Mario: A side-a smash sends her flying over-a the middle but not-a out! He's-a giving chase!

Digi: Peach tries to quicken her fall and lands back down. She plucks another veggie from the roof and hurls it at Luigi. He gets hit but recovers quickly with the Cyclone!

Mario: The Princess is-a flying around a bit! She floats-a back to smack-a Luigi around, but he recovers and gives her another-a firey smash! I think she's-a gone!

Digi: Sailing towards the boundary, and that will do it!


This game's winner is...Luigi!

Mario: Well-a, my bro goes two and-a Zero so far...I wonder if-a Bowser's up to-a fighting him.

Digi: Let's not worry about that one yet, I think we should just try and sort out everything we're dealing with any case, Mash has caught up with host and runner-up, Princess Peach. Mash?

Mash: Thanks, Didge. So, Peach, you were holding your own and it seemed like the Spinies helped Luigi get the best of you out there?

Peach: Ahhh, well, it was a tough fight all along. But I'm happy to have fought with Yoshi and Luigi, and actually do something besides sit's too much like when Bowser locks me up.

Mash: That's good to hear. It's been a bit of a rough season, but we're glad to see you fight ourselves. Anything else?

Peach: I hope Mario's not disappointed!

Mash: (chuckles) I don't think so, he seemed to be enjoying the fight.

Peach: Okay! (giggles) Thanks!

Mash: Welcome. (Luigi walks in) And now we're with Luigi, the winner! You seem to know how to fight your friends quite well!

Luigi: Yeah, I-a guess it's something you learn a bit-a when you're just-a hanging around-a them all the time! But just-a you wait, I think I'm-a ready to break-a out even better if they keep-a giving me-a more fights!

Mash: The Superpowers can certainly try. You'd have to take it up with them and see where they can fit you in.

Luigi: Al-a-right! Luigi's-a number one again!

Mash: Okay! (nods) Apparently Yoshi has declined for now, so we'll send it back up to you.

Digi: Thank you Mash, it was a good match. Again, Mario, I'd say you enjoyed it, right?

Mario: Oh yeah! I was-a happy for-a once...

Digi: I can agree with that. So hopefully, we here at SSS will be getting back on our feet and giving you more of the matches that you love to watch. So for Mario Mario and his friends, I'm Ian "Digifanatic" Hoffman, and uh...yeah, welcome back to the brawl!

*The Fighter's Lounge. Most of the fighters and SPs are gathered around a projector screen, waiting for the big announcement.*

Kevin: So, who else thinks Raiden would make a good smash candidate?

Pat: Uhh, they're technically allowed, but I highly doubt it. Now Takamaru, that's a character I can really get behind!

Metal: Rai-who? I thought I told you, we have enough pokemon! *Glances to Pat* What's a Takamaru? Some sort of sandwich? Now you've made me hungry. (Metal wanders away entirely and doesn't get back. Distant eating noises and crashing can be heard from the kitchen the whole time.)

Luigi: Maybe-a this time, someone pay attention to Weegee!

Mario: It's-a called Super Smash Bros for-a reason!

Luigi: You-a know as well as I do that I always get-a the short-a staff! I want a cool trailer too!

Mewtwo: I'm not expecting any miracles...

Lucario: Ditto.

Ditto: Metaaaaaaa! *Appears suddenly, then vanishes for no reason*

Pit: At least you guys have company. Some of us won't ever get a second rep for our games!

Falcon: FALCON SAD!!

Ganondorf: As long as I'm not a clone this time...

[add a few other lines for other characters if you want]

Twilight: So what do you think, Esco?

Esco: ... I'm just waiting for Ridley. Again.

Digi: Shh! It's starting!

*The Nintendo Direct screen appears as the lights dim. A silent calm fills the room as the group watches the stream intently.*