Season X2 Match 49: Ike vs. Jigglypuff

*Mash is busy reviewing the previous match's events on a grainy old 1990's TV. He squints at the figures on the screen.*

Mash: So let me get this straight, Digi... the SPs in this Stadium... several of them, at least, were ponies... that were ninjas... that were ponies... that were dragons.

Digi: *Scratches the back of his head and sighs* Yeah... I don't really know what it means either.

Mash: And you're telling me they've all left?

Digi: Well, more or less. The one named 'Twi' might show up now and again, maybe.

Mash: ...How are we going to run the Stadium without Esco, Twilight, and... Pat, though? And where is Professor MacBlank?

Digi: It's a long story. Here, let me get out the collection. *Pulls out an entire stack of VHS tapes labeled Match 1-38.5*

Mash: *Twitches and then shoves them out of Digi's hands* No... no! Don't make me sit through those again. What happened to the matches, Digi?

Digi: What do you mean?

Mash: I mean, this place was about fighting... the various heroes. Mario, Link, even Ness and Luigi! Whatever happened in your home world's version of the Stadium, Digi?

Digi: Well, it's an even longer story... *Takes out a dolly and begins rolling out a tower of VHSes labeled 'THE SUBSPACE EMISSARY' and 'ROYKU' and 'THAT TIME EVERYONE GOT MARRIED'

Mash: My god... did you people EVER do any normal matches without everything going completely insane?

Digi: Well, uh... you know what, I don't think so. There was that one time with the Time Donut that seemed pretty sane to me.

Mash: What about the very old days?

Digi: Oh! You mean Kyle. Well he kind of... demanded we put poker ads everywhere and slow-motion evicted us from using his site for promoting our battles.

Mash: Geez... okay, so I understand why you're here. But now that that's all happened, why again can't we just do the match I had in mind?

Digi: Well technically we can. It's just that... *sighs* nobody is watching anymore. This other Stadium, the Awesome Attack Arena--

Mash: What, you mean those people who ran that failed expansion of this place are at it again?

Digi: Yeah.

Mash: Well forget about them. I bet they'll blow up in 15 minutes.

Digi: Why? How would you know?

Mash: If what you say holds, they're now the most popular, which means they'll get all of that nonsense you've been talking about.

Digi: Huh... I never thought of it that way...

Mash: So let's just do another match, and forget about this other stuff. I'm sure it'll all work itself out if we stop trying to control all these wacko people who clearly had no interest in Inter-Realm Combat Action.

Digi: Right.

*In the match box, Mash and Digi sit there, idly glancing at the fairly empty stands, but then shrugging.*

Digi: What happened to all of those people who were cheering that horse-headed guy on?

Mash: I dunno. He disappeared after he said he had to 'take care of some important Seraphis Related Business' and never came back.

Digi: But... weren't his fans really in to these matches we were doing?

Mash: Well, since nobody is here, let's look at the instant re-play of something I noticed.

*Instant Replay appears on screen*

Lanos Fan: Yaaay Smashing Action!

*Arena is completely empty*

Lanos Fan: Hooray Stadium!

*Arena is still empty for hours. Clock in the background ticks over to 12:00.*

Lanos Fan: Yaaa--okay. Now to check my bank account. *Takes out smartphone*

Lanos Fan: Wait... he hasn't paid me? Nuts to this! *Leaps off the stands entirely and vanishes*

*Instant Replay ends*

Digi: What? They were only there because he PAID them?

Mash: That's right, Digi. And since something random has prevented him from showing up again, it's almost like he never existed.

Digi: I guess that makes it a lot easier to focus on the match.

Mash: You said it, Digi! So with that baggage out of the way... we have today's Match:


Digi: What the? What kind of match is that?

Mash: It's the true test of determination! Which character who basically never gets to fight on this stadium will win? And for extra excitement, I bring in the stage!


Digi: But... but that's not a normal stage...

Mash: We have access to every stage that has ever existed and the ability to make more. Why don't we make use of something other than the same three stages every battle gets?

Digi: Well, I guess so...

Mash: So then, the fighters are here. Ike's on the left part of the initial platform, and Jigglypuff is on the right.

Digi: The countdown begins. 3...

Mash: 2...

Digi: 1...


Mash: Jigglypuff immediately batters Ike with a few quick smacks.

Digi: And Ike goes for a huge swing, but Jigglypuff rolls back onto the platform to the right!

Mash: The main platform Ike is on begins raising as Jigglypuff leaps up to the second platform to the right that's above the one she was originally on.

Digi: Ike uses this opportunity to slam Jigglypuff with a semi-charged sword slash!

Mash: Jigglypuff bounces off of the wall and then uses SING!

Digi: Ike momentarily takes a nap while Jigglypuff grabs him and throws him straight up.

Mash: The platform has reached the upper area with both combatants now on it, and is moving to the right...

Ike 25% D0 Jigglypuff 32% D0

Digi: Ike leaps down onto the lower stage's roof, letting the floating platform fly away!

Mash: Jigglypuff leaps down as well and drill-kicks Ike in the head!

Digi: Ike backs off, then throws his sword into the air and spins it about, hitting Jigglypuff back!

Mash: Jigglypuff flies up into the air and hits a spring!

Digi: Jigglypuff is almost gone... oh, but she gets back with her pound attack and jump combo!

Mash: Ike isn't having it and he's charging up for a big swing...

Digi: But Jigglypuff dodges it and uses Nightmare on him, knocking him into the void on the right!

Mash: He leaps for a platform...

Digi: But he misses it... and he's down one life. Oh boy.

Ike: 0% D1 Jigglypuff: 55% D0

Mash: The platform brings Ike down to the middle of the arena, where Jigglypuff has walked over to.

Digi: There's a lot of platforms moving up and down to the right out of the ground, making that ground treacherous.

Mash: Jigglypuff goes for an aerial spin-kick...

Digi: It isn't any good. Ike manages to use his invincibility to ignore it and then grabs Jigglypuff and throws her into the tall left wall.

Mash: Jigglypuff rights herself long enough to hit Ike with another spin kick--

Digi: --Ike immediately counters it and sends her back into the wall again.

Mash: And now Ike is charging up for another attack!

Digi: Jigglypuff goes in for another Sing--

Mash: Ike hits her and she goes flying through all the platforms to the right!

Digi: Ah, too bad for Jiggs. She can't reach anything now that she's fallen out of the pit to the right.

Mash: And now they're basically even...

Ike: 0% D1 Jigglypuff: 0% D1

Digi: They're both in the middle now. Jigglypuff gets in some quick hits from the respawn invincibility.

Mash: But Ike quickly grabs and throws Jigglypuff to the right, then leaps up and hits her mid-air as the platforms to the right shove her around in the air.

Digi: Jigglypuff manages to right herself and drill kicks Ike twice.

Mash: Ike tries for another swing but misses...

Digi: Jigglypuff grabs Ike and throws him. He gets pushed to the right.

Mash: They're both precariously fighting near the gap to the right now.

Digi: Ike is knocked over the gap...

Mash: He recovers, barely.

Ike: 64% D1 Jigglypuff: 45% D1

Digi: Jigglypuff is blocking him from getting back up very far with her furious spin-kicks.

Mash: Ike is trying his hardest, though. There's a lot of sword swinging going on.

Digi: This battle is on the edge, literally, as they fight over who can stand on that edge.

Mash: It looks like Ike's about done. He stumbles a bit and Jigglypuff goes to capitalize...

Digi: ...Ike manages to dodge at the last moment, and Jigglypuff has fallen too low on the stage to get up!



Mash: So, let's interview the winner and loser.

Digi: Oh... we did that sort of thing in the past, but...

Mash: But what?

Digi: ...Nothing.

*Mash goes to where Ike is*

Mash: So Ike, how does it feel to have gotten a chance to fight?

Ike: Well, you know, I've been training this entire time. I don't understand why you kept using Sonic in all those battles. He wasn't even a fighter until recently.

Mash: Well, that was the same for you.

Ike: But what made him so special?

Mash: To be honest, I don't know. The SPs who decided that are all gone now.

Ike: Oh? And what about that strange horse-headed fool?

Mash: Also gone.

Ike: Oh, so we can actually fight without a bunch of interruptions.

Mash: I hope so.

Ike: Well, I'll be sure to put in my best for the eventual championship tournament, then!

Mash: Right... and now to you, Digi.

*Digi goes over to the loser's corner with Jigglypuff*

Digi: So, Jigglypuff, what did you think?

Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff, Jiiiiguuully puff, Jigulee Jiguleee~

Digi: Suddenly... sleepy... zzzzz...

Jigglypuff: D:<

*Jigglypuff draws a bunch of silly things on Digi's face and runs off*

*The SSS Stadium continues for several days. It's mostly just Mash and Digi, running matches, in spite of how few people are there...*

*Dust slowly gathers on the rooms/offices of the now-gone SPs. And, in many places, on the additional seating up above the main bleachers.*

*And yet, at the same time, it is eerily peaceful.*

*At the AAA, about a week or two later. Iron Man sits at his news announcing desk, still in his Iron Man suit despite a lack of attempts on his life any time recently.*

Iron Man: Okay, cameras going on in 3... 2... 1...

*Lights turn on and the cameras begin rolling.*

Iron Man: Greetings and welcome to another episode of Awesome Attack Arena! Previously you got to meet our Arena Runner friends, Bruce Banner and Noctis! Today is a very special episode, as we will soon introduce our next addition to our Arena Family. Aren't you excited?

*The crowd, which is overfilled capacity-wise, cheers in the background*

Iron Man: That's right, we have nothing but awesomeness for you here at the AAA. Now let's get to the introduction!

*A hooded figure walks on stage.*

Iron Man: And here he is, S--

*Iron Man pauses*

Iron Man: ...One moment, something important has come up. *Walks off stage*

*Off stage*

Iron Man: Jarvis, why did you have to interrupt me? That's only the most important thing I'm doing now!

Jarvis: Sir, it's important. Not only is the Super Smash Stadium still running without any real fans, but Lanos has disappeared, and with him, all chances of the SSS being a threat to the success of the AAA Stadium. They had three matches lately and nobody even cared what was in them.

Iron Man: *sighs* Why do we care about those idiots again? ...And remind me to rename the AAA now that the SSS is gone. We're our own thing now, we don't need to be familiar to any would-be fans of that 'SSS.' Now, anything else I should know, or are you going to just keep interrupting my press releases? Maybe I need to tear you down and put you back together again...

Jarvis: Well, you should also know... there's been a temporal anomaly in the arena. Somebody you might recognize is there.

Iron Man: And just who am I going to recognize? How did you let that happen, Jarvis?

Jarvis: I can't stop entities from outside time warping into our arena, sir.

Iron Man: Forget it. It can wait until after I introduce our new staff member.

*Iron Man walks back on stage*

S???: *Sits there with hands on his hips, wearing the dark robe*

Iron Man: Sorry about that folks. Just some normal arena running things. You know how that goes.

*Laugh track is played*

Iron Man: So without further adieu, here he is, our new Staff Member... Skeletor!

Skeletor: *Throws off the hood, revealing his skull of a face* Yes! It is I! Only the most important lich you'll ever see! And stay tuned, for we have one hell of a match planned for you tonight!

*The bottom of the AAA arena. Down there, a hole in reality appears. A fist punches through it, and then soon, an entity in armor steps out, with a glowing blue visor.*

???: Well... I didn't exactly plan to end up in this location, but it'll have to do. *Flips out Smash Dex*

Smash Dex: ...DING! AAA Stadium. Approximately a few days or weeks after you last were here.

???: Heh... time really does flow differently here. Feels like years ago, to me.

Smash Dex: It was, for you.

???: Well, I have to go clean up this godawful mess here before I can go do what I really want to do. So... how do I get out of this pit?

Smash Dex: Calculating....