Season X2 Match 52: In Which Noctis Claims Absolute Victory Over Absolutely Everyone and Everything, Absolutely

*Kevin, Light Bear, Siro, and Pinkie are at the ruins of the former Awesome Attack Arena. There is a hole in the ground, leading down an ominous staircase into the darkness below.*

Pinkie: Okey-Dokie, so according to what Iron Man said in Match 50, he should be right down there, in the creepy scary dungeon!

Light Bear: Oh, lovely.

Kevin: Don't worry guys, we got this. Me and Light Bear have the lightning moves, and the rest of you have reality warping powers, so if this all goes south we can just teleport right back to the Stadium.

Light Bear: I suppose. So, what's the plan again?

Kevin: Well, we're just going to rush in there... and attack. All at once, from all sides.

Light Bear: Brute force does not a plan make.

Siro: It's four-on-one, and he's been down there for at least a couple weeks now. By my own calculations, it'll be impossible for us to lose.

Kevin: All right, so that just about covers it. Now, let's go!

*The four descend down the staircase, finding themselves in a dank chamber with several prison cells arranged in neat rows. One cage in particular has what appears to be a small pile of something covered by a black sheet, upon which a top hat has been placed.*

Pinkie: ... I don't get it. He was supposed to be right here!

Light Bear: He must be hiding underneath. *Steps in front of Pinkie* Allow me.

*Light Bear prods the pile with his cane, then flips the sheet off, revealing a small pile of fancy clothes.*

Kevin: Well, this was a bust. The fans will surely be disappointed.

Siro: What fans?

Kevin: Exactly.

Light Bear: ... Kevin, watch out!

*Light Bear tackles Kevin to the ground while a bolt of black lightning emerges from a nearby Farrah Fawcett poster and sails overhead.*

Pinkie: Aha! *Tears the poster away, revealing a rather dirty and uncomfortable looking Noctis in a small, hollowed out tunnel in the wall, wearing nothing but his boxer briefs.*

Noctis: Yes, all right, you found me. Now, before we begin what will surely be a great battle of epic proportions, would you be so kind as to give me a moment so that I may get properly dressed?

Kevin: I guess. I mean, it could get really weird really fast otherwise.

Noctis: Thank you. Now, turn the other way.

Pinkie: Not a chance, bucko!

Noctis: ... Darn. It was worth a shot.

*Noctis takes his clothes, and crawls back into the makeshift tunnel, sealing the entrance with the poster again. After a couple moments, he re-emerges, immaculately dressed and perfectly groomed, to the point where he looks like he was never locked away at all.*

Noctis: *Twirling his non-existant mustache* You fools! Has no one ever told you that the clothes make the man? Now I have become more powerful than you could ever dream of!

Kevin: Wait, really!?

Light Bear: No. His powers are exactly like mine.

Noctis: *Sighs* Why must you ruin my fun, MacBlank? Never mind, don't answer that. Now, prepare for this Shadow Duel-

*Pinkie reaches beyond the edge of the camera and her fist wraps around and slaps Noctis on the back of the head, knocking his top hat off.*

Noctis: Hey, I wasn't done-

*Kevin blasts him with a quick static discharge*

Noctis: Let me speak-

*Light Bear whaps him across the shins with his cane*

Noctis: I must monologue-

*Siro redirects Noctis' black lightning with his portals, zapping Noctis again with his own attack*

Light Bear: I'm sorry, but I do believe that talking is not a free action in combat!

Kevin: So, did we win?

Siro: It seems so.

*Noctis has all but crumpled to the floor in a heap.*

Pinkie: How boring!

Kevin: Yeah, I must admit, I was kinda expecting more from the guy. I didn't even get to say Shazam.

Light Bear: Well, we did give it our hardest straight off the bat. It's no surprise that it didn't last very long.

Kevin: I guess. So that's it then, mission accomplished. Good job guys, I think we can all head home now.

Siro: Agreed. *Opens a portal back to the Stadium*

Noctis: Wait.

Kevin/Light/Siro/Pinkie: ???

Noctis: *Hobbles back to his feet, and puts his top hat on again* I still have one more trick up my sleeve! It's something you will never-

*Noctis gets hit by Pinkie's jump kick as she passes through another one of Siro's portals. He stumbles forwards, but remains standing.*

Noctis: -expect. Not in a million years!

Light Bear: It's over, Noctis! The strife is ended. You lose!

Noctis: That's what you think!

And just like that, the tide of battle suddenly turned in Noctis' favor. Before his opponents had any time to react, he pulled out his trump card, which he then used to quickly and efficiently defeat them all in one fell swoop. Yes, dear readers, this truly happened. Though he was greatly outnumbered, the great and powerful Noctis has managed to overcome all odds and claim victory over what should have been an unwinnable situation. It is for this reason that Noctis shall be forever known as the stick figure who lived, and claim his title as the greatest Head Superpower the Stadium has ever known.

Noctis: Oh, well would you look at that, they're all unconscious. Oh how convenient, the portal's still open. I wonder where it will take me...


Noctis: Oh my, it's the Super Smash Stadium! I've heard all about it, and I can't wait to get started! Ooh, I have so many plans...

Digi: Noctis, are you serious right now? I'm trying to take care of these few office chores and Mash proba--I mean, Head Superpower Noctis! I've been looking all over for you. It's almost time for the match to start!

Noctis: Oh yes, I almost forgot. Take me to the Commentator's Booth, straight away!

Digi: Yes sir!

*Noctis and Digi head towards the commentator's booth. As they walk down the hall, they pass by Esco.*

Esco: ... Wait a second. Something isn't right here. You're not Light Bear!

Noctis: POCKET SAND!! *Sprays black dust in Esco's face*

Esco: Argh!

Noctis: There, there. You are not you when you're angry. Better?

Esco: Better!

Noctis: Good. Now get me un macchiato, muy pronto!

Esco: Yes, my liege! *Vanishes*

Noctis: Now back to the task at hand.

Digi: You really need coffee right now? Actually, something to drink may not be a bad idea...

*The commentator's booth*

Digi: And here we are, with another exciting episode of Super Smash Stadium!

Audience: *Cheers*

Digi: Joining me today, is the one, the only, your Head Superpower, Noctis!

Audience: *Cheers*

Noctis: Thank you, thank you. You're too kind! For this episode, we have an exciting match for you all. Take a look:

Match 52: Lucario vs Falco vs Mewtwo Stage: Gaur Plain Rules: 2 stocks, items on low

Noctis: That's right, we've got Goku vs Vegeta vs Frieza, on Planet Namek!

Digi: Did your plane send you to the wrong universe?

Noctis: It's the fight that fans have always dreamed of! Right, fans?

Audience: *Louder cheers*

Digi: Yep, we're all good to go here...

Noctis: Okay! Now let's see what's going on behind the scenes...

*Begin tape*

Lucario: Oh hi Vegeta! How's it going-

*Falco slaps Lucario across the face*

Lucario: Owww, what was that for!?

Falco: That's for abandoning me at the bar last night, Kakarot!

Lucario: What? No, I would never do such a thing! I'm the good guy!

Falco: I had to hitch a ride in an uber cab, because the cops wouldn't let me drive back home! Do you know how emberassing it is when Lamar from down the street has to pick you up and drive you home?

Lucario: I was at the bar all night! You were the one who abandoned me, Vegeta!

Mewtwo: Hello boys!

Lucario: Freiza? What are you doing here!?

Mewtwo: It seems that you two really enjoyed yourselves at my fine establishment last night. However, I never recieved compensation for your drinks! Now, why could that be?

Falco: Uhh... because Goku is an idiot and forgot to pay?

Lucario: Don't look at me, I thought you were the one who said "It's all on me, Kakakarrotcake!"

Falco: Hey, I don't remember saying that!

Mewtwo: Well well well, it looks like there's only one way to settle this...

*End tape*

Noctis: And there you have it! With that, it seems our fighters for the evening are taking their places in the arena...

*Lucario flies in on a yellow cloud, and lands on the top-left side.*

*Falco emerges from a spherical space pod on the lower right-hand side.*

*Mewtwo teleports in, with his arms crossed, and slowly floats onto the top right platform.*

Digi: It'll be fun to see if Fal-- Vegeta will have the upper hand here or-- the Pokemon will try and work together to-- hold their own against their fellow Saiyan.

Noctis: Are you ready?

Both: Let's begin!

Noctis: Vegeta immediately begins the fight by rushing towards Goku with a phantasm attack, then pelts Goku with several ki blasts!

Digi: But Frieza comes it and stuns them both. He hits them with a fully-charged dual palm strike!

Noctis: Ooh, that looks positively painful! Now Vegeta attacks Goku with a spinning back kick-

Digi: But Goku was expecting this and teleports behind him, launching his own flying kick!

Noctis: Frieza slaps Goku from behind a couple times with his tail while Vegeta recovers!

Digi: But Vegeta is right behind him and rams into him full-speed with a-- Phantasm!

Noctis: Spoil-sport! *Tries throwing more sand at Digi, which he ducks from*

Digi: Falco takes to the sky and begins juggling him with a series of kicks now! *But he doesn't miss another throw...* Frieza is able to teleport away, and begins charging a Death Beam!

Noctis: Vegeta goes back to fighting against Goku now. They're exchanging many a blow with each other!

Mewtwo: Death Beam!

Digi: Goku and Vegeta are too preoccupied with each other to see the large death orb!

Noctis: It blasts Goku right over the horizon! Ahahahaha!

Lc 0% D1 Fa 89% D0 Mt 54% D0

Digi: (shaking the sand off) Adding insult to injury, a Capsule with...some sort of bean appears right where Goku used to be. (gives Noctis a look)

Noctis: Why, I stocked it.

Digi: Wait, something's happening! We're getting some violent tremors up here!

Noctis: Oh no, it's Dr. Gero! He's appeared in the center of the stage!

Metal Face: Let me show you what the Red Ribbon Army is truly capable of!

Digi: Nope, that's not Andross out for Falco's blood-- he's is able to avoid it, but Frieza gets hit! Mewtwo's not even an ice type!

Noctis: And he's also not enough fazed enough to be defeated outright. *more sand*

Digi: Meanwhile, Goku returns and starts pummeling Vegeta now! He strikes with a series of-- something something over nine thousand.

Noctis: But Vegeta is able to get a few of his own hits in! Goku looks dazed.

Digi: Something something--That's because Frieza has stunned him again--

Noctis: Suddenly, they are all pummeled by a series of Psionic Waves from Dr. Gero! This time, Freiza manages to slip away just in time!

Digi: But Falco isn't so lucky! He's down!

Lc 62% D1 Fa 0% D1 Mt 127% ND

Noctis: Hmm, Esco is taking pretty long with that macchiato...Yesman!!

*Enter Yesman*

Yesman: Yes?

Noctis: The ninja has disappeared again. I need for you to go fetch him for me.

Yesman: Yes!

Noctis: And make sure he brings me my macchiato!

Yesman: *Zips around the room, climbing on the walls and ceiling as he goes* Yesyesyesyesyesyes!

*Yesman disappears down the hall*

Digi: That's the most yeses I've--Goku and Frieza have begun teaming up on Dr. Gero now!

Noctis: Oh my, now that is what I would call an unlikely scenario! But who will get the final hit?

Digi: It doesn't matter, because Vegeta is back and angrier than ever! He strikes the crazy doctor with a drop kick--

Noctis: And that's all she wrote! Dr. Gero is activating his self-destruct device!

Digi: Mewtwo has been knocked out clear from the battle ground! And that's not gonna be fun for the others...

Lc 96% D1 Fa 0% D1 Mt 0% D1

Noctis: And so, we're down to a final stock situation! Goku looks to be on his last legs, while Vegeta and Freiza have engaged in a rather... uncivilised brawl.

Digi: But yes, it's a good one, all right! (shakes his hair out again) Mewtwo whips Falco around with his tail a bit while Lucario gets some potshots in, but Mewtwo grabs him and...telekinetically throws him? That's an unusual--

Noctis: That doesn't matter in the slightest! I'd say it's time to deploy one of our signature Deus Ex Machinas! *Drops a Smash ball in*

Digi: A Dragon Ball has entered the arena! Smash it open and it will grant y-- NO, that doesn't even make sense now! That's not how the Dragon Balls worked at all! Come on, you're disturbing this--

Noctis: Have you never seen Dragon Ball AF? *Throws a handful of black dust into Digi's face*

Digi: What, you mean that fa-- *Splash* Oh yeah, that makes sense.

Noctis: It looks like Goku is going for the Dragon Ball now! He fires his Kamehameha at it!

Digi: But in doing so, he hits it right over to Frieza! One more hit, and it's open!

Noctis: Freiza imbibes the essence of the dragon, granting him immense strength! He jumps straight to his final form!

Digi: And he's got a Supernova! He fires the ultra Death Ball right at-- Falco and Lucario!

Noctis: Vegeta attempts to reflect it, but it's no use! It's too powerful of an attack to be reflected!

Digi: Did he just give up his own life to save Lucario? ...I think I called it all along.

Noctis: Indeed it is! Now that Goku is fully enraged, he will now doubt feel the energy of all the people of the Stadium coarsing through his veins, and unleash a powerful Spirit Bomb--



Noctis: Wait, what?

Digi: And Mewtwo takes it! That was unexpected!

Noctis: Hmm, that wasn't supposed to happen... I'm fairly certain I made sure that Goku would win the fight in the end--

Digi: Lucario--

*Digi shoots Noctis a glare as Lucario smacks into the front window of the commentator's booth, before slowly sliding down into the abyss below.*

Digi: That...was Lucario...

Noctis: Hmm... no, it's true! I had everything carefully planned out and everything! Unless...

*Enter Kevin, Siro, and Light Bear*

Noctis: YOU THREE!! But how did you-

Pinkie: *Appears suddenly behind Noctis and shunts him across the room* Make that FOUR!

Noctis: How did you break free!? I completely and utterly outplayed the lot of you! I won!

Kevin: Yeah, but you just kinda left us there.

Siro: Naturally, when we came to, we just entered through the portal I left before and wound up here.

Light Bear: We're here to ensure that all fallacies within the current timeline of events will be repaired at once!

Noctis: They're not fallacies, they're-

Esco: Your cappuccino is here, my liege!

All: ...

Noctis: *Flings the mug across the room, shattering it on the wall and splattering coffee everywhere* I ASKED FOR A MACCHIATO!! Can't you idiots do anything right!?

Yesman: Yes.

Noctis: RRGH- Okay. Fine. You know what? Why don't we all retire to the arena itself, and have ourselves a little kerfuffle of our own?

Digi: ...What kind of trouble did you guys get into?!

Light Bear: Oh, you woke up at last. We're about to fight Noctis in battle. Care to join us?

Digi: Forget that, I'm outta here. This is not the high note I thought I'd be leaving on! *Leaves, his voice slowly fading out* I mean, really?! A Dragon Smash Ball? Goku as Lucario!? Macciatos!! Who has ever heard of...

Kevin: Well, that settles that. I guess it's time for us to--

Noctis, Light Bear, Kevin, Siro, and Pinkie spontaneously appear in the arena. The arena shifts, turning into something resembling the Coliseum stage from Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Kevin: -Go and fight... eh?

Noctis: Indeed it is.

Light Bear: Alrightly. Shall I begin?

Siro: It only makes sense.

Light Bear: Very well then.

While the others continue to mindlessly banter, little do they know that the arena is transforming around them, forming a great, gaping maw below them, into which they will surely fall. But while Noctis begins to gloat like the self absorbed egomaniac he is, he is completely and utterly oblivious to the predicament he finds himself in, as his side of the arena is suddenly pulled from under his feet, causing him to slip up and start to fall towards the aptly named "Lose the Match Zone". And our former commentator is just looking out from his office, sighing and shaking his head, wondering how this could possibly resolve.

Noctis: What! All of you!? How is this even-

Light Bear: That is none of your concern.

Aha! But Noctis is fully aware of his adversaries' dirty tricks! His cane unravels, latching on to the edge of the platform as Noctis effortlessly pulls himself back to the stage. The crowd is roaring with laughter because Noctis strained too hard and split his pants, revealing his pink polka-dotted underwear OF MANLINESS, because pink is a color which drips of MASCULINITY, which Noctis has proven to be, himself! Well, Vegeta was a bad man, regardless of what that last match might make you think! Noctis carefully but feircely pulls off his clothes, revealing a vibrantly crimson suit of battle armor, which leaves all of the spectators in awe at its almost heavenly presence. PINK! The armor is PINK! Hahahahahahaha- I think that's enough, Pinkie. While the others are distracted, Siro tears open a portal in space-time and pushes the big red button on the back of Noctis' suit, causing it to disassemble, leaving him all exposed.

But of course, to assume that Noctis is totally naked is very much a thought that is both absurd and highly offensive. Besides, it really doesn't matter what Noctis is wearing, as his dark lightning rod has been subtly sneaking behind his foes, waiting for just the right chance to strike! Oh come on, am I going to have to deal with innuendos from this idiot too?!

And strike it does! But it's not dark lightning that comes out... it's the spiritual essence of Raiden himself! Kevin leaps into the air and absorbs the force of the blow, and feels himself become empowered! He can take on anyone right now! He can turn Noctis into a pile of dust in an instant if he really wanted to! In fact, he's going to fall straight into a rogue portal! That'll show him! Noctis laughs at the stupidity of the ninja wearing the ridiculous looking boat light goggles! Also, his normal, fancy clothes come back, because he had another pair hidden away in secret for just this occasion. Not like he would expect the goggles to do much, anyways, yours truly would know...

But while he is consumed by his own ego, Noctis fails to see the reason why kids love cinnamon toast crunch? Pinkie, it's not polite to interrupt. Besides, we did that joke already. No, Noctis knows that Kevin indeed finds himself getting sucked into the portal, but he emerges right behind Noctis and blasts him with a white hot streak of pain! For you see, this was Siro's plan all along! Light Bear looks down condescendingly upon the weakened reflection of himself, and begins thinking about a humorous little quip to utter at his expense before finishing him off for good.

Oh, and I was just starting to believe you were the more level-headed, down to earth one, Mister MacBlank, but it seems your hubris is as great as, no, far exceeds my own! Or perhaps, you are so delusional that you can't tell the difference between my subtle taunting and your... whatever in Heaven's name you possess. SILENCE!! YOU WILL CEASE YOUR INCESSANT MOCKERY THIS INSTANT!! Noctis decides that he is through with this pointless exercise in futility and chooses to wipe the four of them in an instant, right now! The audience cheers and swoons for their great and mighty hero, who has once again saved the day from the terroristic acts of those who revel in their mournful jealousy!

And so, the portal opens, and Light Bear, Pinkie, Kevin, and Siro all emerge from its swirling visage unharmed, having hidden away in a parallel dimension where the Dark Bear's Waves of Sudden Erasure could not harm them. Siro tears the portal open more, and forcefully engulfs Noctis within it. Siro creases over the edges of the portal with his fingers, sealing whatever lies beyond it off from Revanda for good.

Little do they know, that Noctis had planned for this exact scenario! Pushing his abilities of the fourth wall breakage to their absolute limit, he tears the very skies of Revanda asunder, displaying the visages of men and women alike sitting behind their blinding rectangles of vision beyond vision, quitely clattering on their thought slabs, forming words upon words of mindless drivel, thereby generating the thoughts and feelings of everyone who has ever existed in this entire God-forsaken tale! Noctis turns towards his various foes, and utters the words that will forever echo in their very souls:


For once, I'm just going to agree with him.

Wait, what?


*Giant pieces of furniture, clothes dryers and old DVDs fly from from the sky and explode on Noctis over and over and over again, reducing him to a puddle of black ink in a burning crater.*

Metal: Well, this has certainly done it... you've gone and broken everything worse than when me and the Questers killed the plot! And let me tell you, that was pretty impressive... you're making me want to outdo myself, and that's horrible! I mean, just look at this!

*Metal points at one of the sky denizens furiously typing away*

Metal: This just takes the cake. Oh, but not just that! This takes the cake, seals it away for a thousand years in a place no one would ever find it, only to break free from its prison as an undead cake monster from the abyss, which wraps the universe within its terribly sweet tendrils of self-indulgence! And that is how you did the impossible!

Kevin: So what you're saying is--

Metal: Shhh! Give me a moment. This is special. And by special, I mean... MAKE IT STOP, GAH!

*Metal flips open a panel on his left arm, pours a vial of radioactive blue fluid into it, and punches it violently, causing a strange explosion. Suddenly...*

*A quiet summer day. Light Bear wakes up in the midst of a field of flowers, momentarily dazed and confused before he regains his bearings. Suddenly, another visage appears from the distance. Light Bear watches as the mirage gets closer and closer, until he can make out its features distinctly. And what he sees, dear readers, is initially quite shocking, but suddenly brings with it a calm air of nostalgic familiarity. Which is then suddenly shattered by the mentioning of...*

???: Hey professor! Did you finish the Turbo Combobulator yet? It's really important for my next adventure!

Light Bear: Wha... is that really you, Nick?

Nick McStick: Whoa, did you hit your head or something? You don't look too good.

Light Bear: Oh no, it's nothing. I just wasn't expecting to see you here, is all.

Nick McStick: Man, you can't be so lazy all the time. Its gotta be finished soon. The whole entire world depends on it! Come on, I'll take you back to the lab.

Light Bear: Oh, that would be nice... but wait, I was exiled! I can't just go back there-

Nick McStick: Don't worry about it. I talked with some friends, and It turns out a lot of people missed you while you were gone, so you're off the hook. Leave it to Nick McStick to save the day!

Light Bear: That's good to hear. Very well then, it's time for me to get back to work. Lead the way, Mister McStick!

*Light Bear turns and looks up towards the sky for a moment, remembering all of the people he's met and the things he's done over the years, before turning towards the metropolis on the horizon. Professor MacBlank adjusts his top hat and his bow tie, grabs his cane, and follows behind the young man, making sure not to lose him amongst the tall grass as he makes his way home, at last.*

*Kevin, Siro, Pinkie, and Metal are all standing in the middle of the colosseum. The sky is cloudless and free from the disturbing imagery from before. Both Light Bear and Noctis are nowhere to be seen.*

Kevin: Uhh, can anyone explain what just happened right now?

Siro: Beats me.

Pinkie: Nope, sorry!

Metal: Excellent. Then my work here is complete. The Space-Time Continuum has been restored, once again! Without a bunch of adventuring and pointlessness to go with it, I must add! No more will these ridiculous disturbances recur. Now, DON'T DO IT AGAIN. Unless you want me to smash you to bits with my Nintendo Power Collection!

Kevin: So is this it? Are you going to stay with us, or-

Metal: I can't. I had to step outside of time to do this, so if I don't step back into time, the changes will unravel and you'll be stuck being controlled by Noctis forever.

Pinkie: So this is goodbye...

*Siro opens a portal, pulling Digi, Esco, Twi, Dash, and Yesman through it.*

Esco: Eh? What's the meaning of this, Siro? I was busy cleaning up all the coffee that that damn Dark Bear-

Yesman: Wait, Metal's alive!? I thought Xavier-

Mash: It's a long story.

Metal: Hey, why is my Head SP badge on your chest? I mean, it's right here! *Points to his own Head SP badge.*

Mash: Again, it's a long story.

Siro: Guys. It's time to say goodbye.

Digi: Wait, we're saying goodbye to Metal again? Didn't we do this like, two weeks ago?

Twi: Wait, where's Light Bear?

Kevin: Gone.

Dash: What!?

Metal: Yup. I made him disappear! And now, it's time for me to disappear too. If there's anything you want to say to me, now is the time. Of course, you might have already talked to me in the future, so don't say anything about that, otherwise reality might explode!

Digi: Yes, In fact, I do have something to say. What is going on?! None of this makes any sense! You don't make any sense!! Just when I thought this day couldn't get any more ridiculous, the universe decides to give me this bullAAAA! I can't take it anymore!!

Esco: What is he ranting about?

Kevin: Beats me.

Esco: Ah, forget it. Now what can I say about Metal... You always had to go be the hero, didn't you? Even at the end of the line. Well guess what, I'm done with all the madness you caused! Done with it! ...And yet, in a weird sort of way, it was an honor to work with you. So... thank you.

Digi: *Exhales sharply* I guess what I really want to say is, I need a break. Okay, let me start over. Metal, you're the most insane boss I've ever worked for in my life, and I hope you get committed to an asylum one of these days while you're daydreaming about Eggman getting a load of the Wing Fortress. And then I find out I'm working with ninjas disguised as ponies disguised as the Double Dragon kids and--

Metal: Do you really mean that? I'm so happy I could finally troll you like Panzer always said I should've.

Digi: *Shudders at the mention of 'Panzer.'* ...The insane boss part, anyway.

Twi: I'll never forget all the things you did for us...

Dash: Yeah, even if they did almost get us killed half the time.

Yesman: Well, you know, I said I wouldn't cry but... hah! You didn't really think I was going to *sniffle* ...dammit.

Kevin: What can I say? It was a crazy ride. See you later.

Metal: Oh, believe me, you would not want that. Not at all.

Digi: Yeah, don't ride when Metal's behind the wheel... *sighs* so that's it, then.

Metal: Yes, it is.

*Metal breaks away from the group, and activates a device on his wrist, opening a hole in space*

Metal: If anyone needs me, I'm going to be busy falling to my doom seven matches ago. So long, suckers! AH-hahahahahahahaha-*Fzzt*

Kevin: Wow, Metal. Way to kill the moment.

Digi: Nah, he's just living it. Anyway, I'm going to go take a break from the Stadium for a while. It's time for me to go out and find myself. Who knows, maybe we'll cross paths in the future. Stay awesome, guys. Later.

Yesman: *Wipes away a tear* Yeah. See ya.

*Everyone waves as Digi walks off into the horizon, towards whatever new insanity the universe decides to throw at him next.*

* Orion sits there, near the wreckage of Sloan's mech. He stares at the Stadium. *

Orion: After everything I did, the Stadium ultimately came to naught. Strangers who were not Seraphis took over, after Seraphis himself betrayed me. And now strangers who aren't even those are in control now... the history of the Stadium, even, has been completely lost. None shall even care about Revanda, or the other Leukos, or...

???: Now now. You don't have to trouble yourself with them anymore.

Orion: Oh really?

*The mysterious figure looks at Orion, holding a staff.*

???: This Stadium, and this place, is to be at peace. It was a deal that was struck with that being who stopped the other beings of chaos here.

Orion: You can't be serious. As we all know, Seraphis was the true power in this--

*??? waves his staff and Orion freezes in time*

???: This realm is just a little itty bitty toybox, fool. Your story has just begun, and it is not here. Come with me... or die. That is your only choice, because the deal struck with that entity here forbids you from being able to interfere ever again.

*??? waves the staff again.*

Orion: --world. ...I understand. Seraphis was nothing more than an underling to the sorts of you?

???: I'd say it's more that everyone in this world forgot that other worlds existed.

Orion: Then why again are you forcing your will upon this plane?

???: We have this organization that controls all of Time. And it just so happens you're using Time.

Orion: Why haven't I encountered you before?

???: It's a long story. Now are you going to join me and get your chance for revenge, or are you going to die because you want to rule a glorified boxing ring?

Orion: I guess I have no choice.

???: Good, because I would hate to see such a menacing, powerful, scary entity such as yourself reduced to the mockery that Noctis thing was doing.

*Orion and ??? step into a portal, leaving the realm entirely.*

*{Xavier Ridgecrest} also stares at the Stadium from afar*

Xavier: I can't believe they did that! I can't believe I did that! Wait, actually I can. I'm glad I did that because that was ridiculous.

Xavier: Still, I wish I could have punched Noctis myself. I mean... myself myself...

*Metal shows up, and glances at Xavier. It is very obvious they are the same person, just time shifted.*

Metal: I see you there, myself!

Xavier: Oh god.

Metal: What happened to make you stop being me, anyway?

Xavier: If I told you, it might not happen.

Metal: Fair enough. But why are you even here?

Xavier: I was supposed to get the last word in, not you--you, my embarassing stupid wannabe me!

Metal: Hey, watch it! Say that too much and you'll look like Illian!

*Another Metal Man shows up, only this one has an orange cape and is floating off of the ground. He looks much more regal and stares downwards at Metal.*

Illian: He could never look like me. There is only me!

Xavier: No, don't come here, Illian, you'll confuse everyone even more!


Metal: Okay, I stand corrected, there is still one Illian.

Illian: You should consider yourself lucky you become yourself again, Xavier of the Past. Otherwise you really would have died.

Metal: What?

Xavier: Don't listen to him, it's important future information.

*Another Metal Man walks into the screen.*

Old Metal Man: Ah, look at these idiots, wandering a battlefield without weapons!

Metal Man: Hey! You belong in a museum!

Illian: Maybe we should leave before this comedic aside destroys reality.

Xavier: Yeah, I think we attracted all the crazies.

Metal Man: But they're all me!

Illian: I'm not you. *Takes off helmet, revealing his eerie pale Solarian skin and long blond hair*

Metal Man: ...Creepy.

Old Metal Man: Are all of you people who think you're me going to just stand around, or are you going to fight me and eachother? I mean, that's what really needs to happen.

Xavier: No, we're all leaving. Where did you even come from?

Old Metal Man: I have been wandering the Battlefields in my escape from the Time Cops for many years. The only question I have is why I would ever become such a boring politician like you when the blood of my enemies is all I ever need.

Metal Man: Hahahaha, oh that is so rich, past me is so STUPID!

Old Metal Man: WHAT DID YOU SAY? *Points a bow made out of crystal at Metal Man*

Illian: I have to agree with the stupider version of Xavier, the oldest version of Xavier here is still the stupidest.

Old Metal Man: Well I oughta--

Xavier: Enough. This realm is safe, and I don't need to endanger it just for the sake of more gags. *Presses a button and warps everything out of place, including himself, away*

*Digi, who has been watching this the whole time, emerges from behind a rock.*

Digi: Okay, that's... ...I'm not even.

*Digi stares, then just quietly continues walking, looking like his brain was melted from observing that. He hurries over the horizon this time so as to not accidentally encounter anything else insane.*

*Even further away, watching through a magic portal, is... Game Guru and Saiyaman, both wearing hawaiian shirts and relaxing on a beach in the original Smash Stadium's world.*

Game Guru: So, Saiyaman.

Saiyaman: Yes?

Game Guru: Didn't we say we were going to punish Metal if he screwed it up?

Saiyaman: Yes.

Game Guru: Why didn't we do that, again?

Saiyaman: I think we didn't want to stop being on vacation. I mean, it has been awesome to just be able to relax.

Game Guru: Yeah... come to think of it, he caused all the insanity to follow him outside of this realm.

Saiyaman: For once, well, twice, we were able to just eat popcorn and laugh at how stupid he was instead of living it out ourselves.

Game Guru: Don't forget that some of the problems were caused by us, too! I mean... that whole time donut thing wasn't Metal's doing. As much as I wish it was. Then I could blame him for literally everything.

Saiyaman: Well, he's even left that second realm, now.

Game Guru: I guess even a maniac would get tired of how crazy it gets.

Saiyaman: What is it we do again?

Game Guru: Shhh. I don't want the people reading this match to bug us.

Saiyaman: Oh yeah, right! That whole thing about people being invested in the story chasing us if we let them know too much.

Game Guru: Yeah, we endangered ourselves into becoming a part of the craziness just by looking at it, this time...

*??? and Orion show up*

???: By the way, Game Guru, if YOU screw up, I'll be here to destroy you.

*??? and Orion warp out*

*Game Guru falls out of his chair*

Saiyaman: ...Yeah, let's not look at that realm again. It is a silly place. *Closes portal*

(Back in an apartment, after finally walking home, Digi is seen playing a copy of Super Smash Bros. with his friend's Elecmon)

Elecmon: Ian, you think it's embarassing that I'm kicking your butt in this match?

Digi: No, why?

Elecmon: Think about it, you dealt with all these people before, calling their matches, knowing their moves, blah blah, you should be owning me!

Digi: No, that's just because you keep grabbing all the Hammers and Bob-Ombs, you hog.

Elecmon: That's Patamon.

Digi: Speaking of hogging... (his Sword Mii Fighter throws down a Party Ball, chomps down a bunch of food and kills Elecmon's Wario with a Smart Bomb) ...and that's why I hosted matches with lots of items.

Announcer Voice: TIME! ...SUDDEN DEATH!

Digi: (smirks to Elecmon) You're going down.