3 Stock

*Esco's Room, 2:00 AM*

Esco: Ugh, I can't sleep. Damn shoulder blade feels like it's on fire...

*Esco gets out of bed, and walks out into the hall*

Esco: *Stretching* I guess I'll go to the Smash Simulator again. Train myself.

*Esco walks down the hall a ways, entering a nondescript door on the left*

*Simulation Room - A relatively large room with a massive holo-projection field similar to the one used in official Stadium matches*

Esco: Okay, let's start this sucker up. *Flips a switch* Wait... something doesn't seem right. Where are the lights? The sounds? Anything?

*A holographic man with a hideous scowl on his face appears and walks up to Esco*

Trevor: I am Trevor, and you are not allowed to use this holo room. Any attempt to do so will face the wrath of the True Light Siders.

Esco: What?! I used it just two days ago! What gives?

*Another hologram shows up. This time, it's of an evil man with black hair and a long, sharp looking sword.*

Tridus: We're serious about this! You can't use this holo room, otherwise you might make a mistake like I, Tridus, did! So step back before I cut you into a million pieces.

Esco: This is Metal's doing, isn't it? Ha ha Metal, very funny.

Tridus: Hahahahahahahaha!

Trevor: You don't want to make him laugh. He doesn't know how to stop. *Scowls hideously at the camera.*

Esco: ...Now STOP IT!!

*A third hologram appears.*

SIMBER II: I am the second incarnation of SIMBER. For some reason Metal Man placed me here. There was something about stopping you from using this holo room. But that is irrelevant now. Now I am your God and Savior. Bow down to me before I destroy this Stadium!

Esco: I knew it!

*Three gunshots are heard, and all three holograms fade out*

*Metal appears in the doorway*

Metal Man: Curse you, ninja! You've found out about my Super Smash Quest replication hologram program!

Esco: Uhh... what?

Metal Man: Well, you keep trying to defy my orders, so I figured a bunch of holographic goons would set you straight.

Esco: Wait, then why did you shoot down your own holograms?

Metal Man: ...I realized I had accidentally put SIMBER's data in there. Had he gotten loose, we'd all be dead. Unfortunately it seems I hit the other ones in my zealous attempt to destroy him... meh.

Esco: ... Of course.

Metal Man: Anyway, you should be getting to bed! It's 2 in the morning, and that's when I prefer to wander the Stadium, shooting randomly at potential invaders! I could have hit you instead!

Esco: Okay, okay...

*The commentator's booth, sometime in the afternoon*

Digi: Good afternoon, everyone! Are you ready for another exciting Super Smash Stadium battle?

Crowd: *cheers*

Digi: Well, you're going to have to wait. My co-commentator hasn't arrived yet.

Crowd: Awww!

Digi: Oh wait, here he comes now!

*The commentator's booth opens, and the legend himself, Patrick V, appears*

Pat: Sorry I'm late. Now then, are we ready to start?

Digi: Yes.

Pat: Okay. Introducing... the pic-maker himself, Patrick V!

Crowd: *cheers*

Digi: And uh... that other guy, Digifan!

Crowd: *Cheers again*

Pat: And now, we're ready to- what is that?

*The arena fails to appear on the projection, instead displaying a sequence of letters and numbers stretching around the inside of the stadium*

Digi: Uhh... one moment, people! We seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties...

*Metal's office, a moment after the previous afternoon time*

Kevin: What's going on, Metal? I was just attempting to torrent- erm, I mean download some music that I legitimately paid for and my computer spontaneously died!

Metal Man: I guess we should give it a burial then. You must have taken it too far on the Oregon Trail. I suggest you become a farmer next time.

Yesman: Yeah!

Kevin: What?

*Pat rushes in*

Pat: Metal! The Stadium System isn't working, and the crowd is growing restless!

Metal Man: What is it, have they not gotten enough slushees, or did I accidentally release my holograms into the stands?

*Cut to the commentator's booth*

Crowd: *Booooo! Boooo!* *throwing things at the commentator's booth*

Digi: I'm glad that I'm in this booth, where the newly-installed window will surely protect me from all the garbage the fans are throwing!

*A safe crashes through the window, leaving Digi vulnerable to the crowd's projectiles*

Digi: WHO THROWS A SAFE!? *ping* Ow, stop that! *bonk* Hey! I'm trying the best I can! *splosh* Really!

*Cut back to Metal's office*

Metal Man: Oh. They're bored. Well, it's not like Digi hasn't had a safe thrown at him before.

Yesman: I don't know about that...

Metal Man: Don't make me playback the mission log, Yesman! Back in the day I used to throw EVERYTHING at him! It helped... er... test his brain.

Yesman: Oh...

*Tom Scott and Ron Davison appear*

Ron: What's going on, Metal? I was just attempting to torrent some music and my computer spontaneously died!

Metal Man: Who are you people? Why are you asking me these questions? Do you know how many twists are in an eight-sided pretzel?

Tom: Don't ask.

Metal Man: Don't ask? How dare you question my ability to question!

Tom: Anyway, something's not right here.

Metal Man: Oh. So there's something evil afoot? Let me see...

*Metal Man types into the computer by punching the keyboard and flailing wildly, spraying pieces of a coffee mug all over the place. He pauses eventually.*

Metal Man: Ahah! I found it!

Pat: Great. Let me just get this coffee mug shrapnel out of my face first.

Metal Man: There's no time! Inside our systems is... a demonic virus, bent on turning us into Cavemen! It has a de-evolutionizing ray and everything. In fact, I can hear evil cavemen songs coming out of the computer! You'd better watch out...

Pat: ...

*Metal's computer starts playing an 8-bit chiptune and the screen starts displaying "TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO"*

Metal Man: SEE? The evil anthem of killer cavemen is playing as we speak! But not to worry, I will save you!

*Metal Man takes out his gun.*

Pat: I don't think that's--


*The computer speakers are blown to bits.*

Pat: you fix that...

Metal Man: Sure it is. It was either that, or getting Julian Sawyer to punch the computer and curse at it until it exploded.

Kevin: Is there any non-insane way we can fix it? I like having computers.

Metal Man: Well, we could always send someone into cyberspace to beat the virus into submission! Like... Digi!

Tom: Uhh, are you sure that will work? How do you plan on doing it?

Metal Man: I will plug Digi into the computer, then I will sing the Digimon song until he becomes a Netnavi. Then, he will morph into the computer and use Power Ranger moves to defeat the enemies. Or at least, that's what I think will happen. I have to go test.

Tom: ...

Ron: ...

Kevin: Hey, where's Esco?

Metal Man: Oh, he's off doing something. He's probably using the training simulator.

Yesman: Correct me if I'm wrong, Metal, but isn't the training simulator also connected to the Stadium network?

Metal Man: No! Er... wait a minute... yes. Yes! Mwa ha ha ha haaaa!

*cut to the Simulation Room*

Esco: All right, with Metal's cyberpolice taken care of, I can now begin my training in peace. *Flips the switch*

*Cut back to Metal's office*

Kevin: We have to stop him! We don't know what this virus is capable of yet!

Metal Man: Exactly. We can find that out from Esco's defeated cor--er, triumphant corpse! After all, he is the "undefeated ninja master". Just like Julian... and his Casino...

Pat: Er... what's that about a casino?

Metal Man: Oh, nothing. Just a bit of... hubris... delicious hubris... yum.

*Cut to the Simulation Room, where Esco is now being pummeled senselessly by physically manifested viral matter*


*Cut back to Metal's office, where Digi has just entered*

Metal Man: Aha! It is you, Digi. Just in time to save the day! Now jam your hand into this electrically charged slot on my computer without any explanation as to what that will do to you?

Digi: Uhh... Metal... I'm not sure that'll do it. I can't fix it that fast. The crowd is leaving now!

Pat: Seriously Metal, we need to delete this virus before it does permanent damage to our systems.

Metal Man: I just told you, DIGI can do it!

Digi: *Sigh* He's right, I guess...

Pat: Fine. Go and find some fighters who have a knowledge of viruses.

Metal Man: What's wrong with Digi?

Pat: He told me I was annoying when I stole one of his friend's swords for absolutely no reason... *sniff*

Digi: ...

Dr. Mario: Did someone say viruses?

Metal Man: Yes. However, no people are dead, so we'll have to see your go-kart battery starting action later. It's just a computer problem.

Dr. Mario: Mama-mia! Not computers! *Runs away*

*Pat and Digi leave, coming back a few minutes later with two Pokémon Trainers*

Digi: Normally I'd do it myself, but since I'm an SP, I can have someone else do it for me.

Metal Man: That's awfully wise of you, Digi.

Digi: That and I'm not going to give up my commentating duty just because you let a virus into the systems.

Metal Man: Bah!

Ash: Hi!

Red: Hi...

Metal Man: Er, anyway. Red, you were just a little kid a couple weeks ago! Why are you a teen now?

Red: Smasher History Machine.

Yesman: But the Smash History Machine blew up-

Red: Nevermind that.

Metal Man: Oh dear. I knew I shouldn't have warped back in time and... ...did absolutely nothing!

Digi: ...

Red: Take me to this virus, and I will surely destroy it.

Ash: Hey! What about me?

Red: You can tag along if you want, not that you'll be of much use.

Ash: You're a jerk!

Red: That's what happens when you become a master.

Kevin: Guys, guys! Work together!

Ron: Yeah, you two! After all...

Ron & Tom: Friendship is-

Red: Shut up.

Ron & Tom: D:

Metal Man: Friendship IS useless, but if you don't work together, I'll shoot both of you. Oh no, I'm sounding like Mewtwo again...

Mewtwo: *phases in* Leave me out of this! *phases out*

Red: . . . I'm leaving. *runs off*

Ash: Hey! Wait up! *runs to catch up with Red*

Yesman: So, what's their probability of success?

Metal Man: Probably less than zero. Let's prepare for their funerals. I'll cook some funeral fudge.


Esco: I can't go on. They're too strong...

TECHNO1: weq2 31$!ff wa32 kjla#%d huw*r23$qycm3


The Void: Bwahahahaha! You will die, mortal! And then I will rule this dimension!

*Red and Ash appear on-scene*

Red: Step away from the ninja!

TECHNO1: ...


The Void: Foolish man-children! I will delete your blood and absorb your knowledge, then steal your bodies and invade the Stadium!

TECHNO1: 21f#@T $165*E 2C !*H 09&7N 432$O @2

*The two viral blobs stop attacking Esco and "face" the two trainers; one of them begins projecting a message. The Void just sits there, laughing for no reason.*

TECHNO1: "To those who are willing to listen, I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. However, IT MUST BE DONE."


The Void: I don't know what they're on, but I know this realm is ripe for the picking!

*Professor MacBlank walks into the room*

MacBlank: I say, what is that annoying bleeping sound coming from? *Sees the trainers and viruses preparing for battle* Oh my. Carry on, gentlemen! *runs off quickly*

*The other SPs enter the room*

Kevin: Esco! *Runs over to tend to Esco*

Esco: Hey, kid. I can take care of myself. *Gets up with a large effort and limps towards the others*

Metal Man: Ah, I see that a match is about to begin!

Yesman: You aren't seriously considering turning this into a match, are you?

Metal Man: Of course I am! Now then, Let's set this to a 3-stock match on Hanenbow, with lots and lots of items!

Yesman: Metal, this is a training simulator, not the Stadium System. We have to play by the Simulator's rules.

Metal Man: I've programmed holo rooms before, young man! Just look at that Void. I made him! I was hoping he'd get to Esco first, but it appears those blasted boringly stupid things somebody ELSE made got there first!

Yesman: Also, apparently the Item System was connected to the network too, for some reason.

Metal Man: Wait... you mean...?

Yesman: Yes, it's dead too. No items.

*Esco suddenly gets up and starts dancing while laughing maniacally*

Esco: YEAHAHAHAHAHA-ow, damnit. I can't do that in this condition.

The Void: Laugh while you can, pathetic man! I will get my chance, and then you will die from drowning in pie!

Esco: ...I'm going to get you for that one, Metal.

Red: So are we going to start this or what?


Metal Man: Yes we are. I will be the commentator for this mat- *Is jabbed in the back of the head, knocking him out*

Esco: *Standing over Metal* No, I AM!! *collapses* ... ow.

Kevin: Then I will co-commentate!

Digi: Hey, what about me? I was supposed to be commentating a match today!

Esco: Screw off.

Digi: :(

Pat: Just let it go, Digi. Let it go...

*All SPs except the commentators and unconscious Metal leave the room and watch from the observation deck. The Void phases out, since he was programmed by Metal and hasn't been ordered to actually attack anyone.*

Kevin: Okay, so we're going by the rules of the simulation. 3 stock, no items, on the simulation's own stage.

*A stage phases into the room. The center is a platform made up of the rooftops of several buildings; to the left is a large body of water with a floating "pool" above it; to the right is a series of very tall buildings stretching almost to the top boundary*

Esco: This doesn't look like the normal simulation! What the Hell is this?

Red: Glitch City. Oh God... Can't escape... *goes into fetal position*

Ash: Wait a second! If this is Glitch City, then that means...

*TECHNO1 and TECHNO2 phase into their true forms: MISSINGNO. and [/]'M##*

Kevin: Wow, those viruses are huge! They must be at least ten meters tall!

Esco: Damn, that one on the right is practically twenty!

MISSINGNO.: f2df wre32 4oc6o

[/]'M##: TECHNO!

*the same 8-bit chiptune from before starts playing again*

Kevin: I guess that will be our music for the stage.

Esco: So if we're ready...

Esco & Kevin: ... FIGHT!!

*Red appears on the top of the building to the far right, still in the fetal position*

*Ash walks out of the door at the bottom of the same building*

*MISSINGNO. phases in on the body of water to the left, floating on the surface*

*[/]'M## phases in right behind MISSINGNO. on the floating pool*

Kevin: Uhh, are they floating on the water?

Esco: Don't ask.

Your epidermis is showing!
Lives: 3
Lives: 3
Lives: 3
Lives: 3

Kevin: Ash begins the fight by charging in towards Missingno!

Esco: I don't think Satoshi really thought this through. If I can't take them on by myself, what makes him think he-

Ash: PoKé Fireblast! *Shoots a small fireball at MISSINGNO.*

Kevin: The fireball connects and EXPLODES in Missingno's face! It's sent reeling back into the M one!

Esco: Damn, that was powerful. It looks like Satoshi is going to follow it up...

Kevin: But he sinks as he steps onto the main platform! Now he's swimming in it? What?!

Esco: Land is water and water is land. This makes no sense.

Kevin: Sure enough, he climbs up onto the water's edge and rushes in at his opponents!

Esco: But the two viral entities spray him back with dual water guns! It seems that these attacks do damage to him.

Kevin: Meanwhile, Red is still doing nothing up on the skyscraper to our right. He might be out of the match if he doesn't do something soon.

Esco: Come down and fight! WHERE'S YOUR CODE OF HONOR!?

Kevin: It looks like the M guy jumped in after Ash! Now it's pummeling him with a flurry of punches! Or, at least I think they're punches...

Check out the Old Man by Viridian City. He'll teach you how to catch bugs!
Lives: 3
Lives: 3
Lives: 3
Lives: 3

Ash: Come on, Red! Help me out here!

Red: . . .

Kevin: Now Missingno walks to the edge of the "water", and uses... thunder?

Esco: It zaps Satoshi and its own teammate! Satoshi passes out and falls into the watery abyss!

Kevin: Just like that, he's down a life already. His enemies have barely a scratch!

Esco: Now Satoshi revives, and jumps up to Red on the building. What is he doing?

Ash: Knock some sense into ya! *picks up and throws Red across the top boundary*

Kevin: Red is also down a life!

Lives: 2
Lives: 2
Lives: 3
Lives: 3


MISSINGNO: qwe4cg.

[/]'M##: TECHNO!

Esco: M Block climbs out of the land-water on the right side and walks over towards Satoshi. Damn, it's so tall that it barely needs to jump to reach him!

Kevin: Just like that, with a quick swipe, it knocks Ash over the top edge!

Esco: He really should've seen that coming. That platform is just way too high!

Kevin: Now Ash revives for the second time...

Red: What the Hell, man? Why did you throw me?

Ash: Hey, you were having another emotional breakdown up there! I had to do something to snap you out of it!

Red: Well, genius, we're down 3 lives. Any more sure-fire methods you want to try to get us all killed?

Ash: Hey! At least I did some damage to them!

Red: I've fought these two before. I know how we can defeat them.

Ash: Oh?

Red: Yeah. Just watch. *Takes out a pokéball*

Esco: It looks like Red is going to send out... Lizardon!

Kevin: Red and Charizard are now simultaneously running towards the viruses! Red uses a powerful step kick to slam the M one into the ground!

Esco: Meanwhile, his Lizardon glides onto the water-land and grabs Missingno, throwing it into the land-water!

Kevin: I don't see how this is going to- Missingno immediately sinks into the water and drowns!

Esco: Now Red uses an aerial backflip-flying triple kick combo and sends M Block off of the right edge!

Ash: Whoa.

Red: The smaller one weighs three tons, and can't swim in the water. The larger one is just a really big target!

Ash: Oh, okay!

Go to Rage Lake for some red Magikarp. 100% Not Natural Goodness!
Red & Charizard
Lives: 1
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
0% & 300HP

Kevin: It looks like the two have a plan! They prepare for the second wave of viral evil!

Esco: Those two abominations are taking their sweet time to get back into the fight. GO AND FIGHT, YOU COWARDS!!

Kevin: I don't think they can hear or understand you.

MISSINGNO.: w435ksa%d 12dk fs9*5l ka.


Esco: The two viruses rush in towards Red in an attempt to overwhelm him!

Kevin: But Ash and Charizard are plotting a two-pronged attack! Ash jumps on Charizard and the two glide in to divebomb those garbled pixelmen!

Esco: Missingno turns and lunges out towards them, swatting them out of the sky!

Kevin: Isn't it supposed to be 3 tons? How did it manage to do that?

Esco: Sky Attack.

Kevin: Red counters the M's attack with a few well-timed moves of his own! He throws M guy above him, then uses a rising uppercut followed by a series of aerial flips and a spin kick!

Esco: But the kick knocks M Block in the wrong direction, away from the edge of the stage boundary!

Kevin: Ash and Charizard continue to be pummeled by the Missingno, who just threw Charizard into the water!

Red: Oh sh**! Charizard, return! *reaches for his pokéball* Wait... Don't tell me...

Esco: There seems to be a problem here...

[/]'M##: TEC-TEC-TEC! *flashes a pokéball*

Red: Crap.

Kevin: The M guy returns Charizard to the pokéball!

Esco: This catches Missingno off guard, as it was comboing him at the time. Satoshi uses this time to counter with a PoKé Flash!

Kevin: That was even more powerful than his PoKé Fire! Unfortunately, Missingno is too heavy to knock off the stage.

Esco: Missingno re-joins M Block on the water-land to the left, and now they seem to be charging up an attack...

Kevin: The M one throws its pokéball into the sky, and a bright light fills the arena!

Esco: My God... A metric sh**ton of pokéballs have fallen from the sky! All I wanted was an item-less match, but-

Kevin: A second flash! Even more pokéballs have appeared!

Esco: Now the pokéballs all land simultaneously, creating an army of Lizardon!!

Red & Charizard Army (x16384)
Lives: 1
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
0% & 174HP

Kevin: ... The trainers can't win this, can they?

Esco: No they can't. They need some sort of miracle to defeat the viruses now.

Kevin: Yep. The army of Charizards stampede forwards and start ganging up on Ash!

Esco: Well, he's gone. That's what happens when you get overwhelmed by thousands of Lizardon!

Kevin: How can this simulation even handle this many Charizards at once?

Esco: I don't know. Wait! The simulation is starting to slow to a crawl!

Kevin: This means that the viruses are also being slowed down! Now's Red's chance!

Esco: No, not quite. One of the Lizardon is unaffected by the slowdown. The original.

Red: I guess I have no choice but to fight you!

Kevin: With that, he jumps up into the air and comes down on Charizard with a step kick!

Esco: But Lizardon expected this, and uses a rock smash to knock Red back!

Kevin: Red rebounds and jumps at his pokémon with a fierce jump kick!

Esco: Lizardon jumps and spins, avoiding the attack-

Kevin: But Red fakes out and delivers a spinning backfist-

Esco: And takes flaming tail to the face!

Red: I knew I shouldn't have trained by fighting my own Charizard... He knows my every move!

Kevin: Red's going to have to get crafty in order to fake-out his own Charizard.

Esco: Now he's going for a grab! What is he thinking?

Kevin: Sure enough, Charizard far outranges him when it comes to grabs. Now it's using seismic toss!

Esco: This will not end well!

WANTED: High-speed outlaw. Last seen teleporting over telephone poles at 400MPH. Presumed dimension-altering warlock.
Red & His Charizard & Charizard Army (x16383)
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
68% & 174HP & 174HP

Kevin: Charizard goes into freefall, aiming for the land...

Esco: But that's not land! That's the land-water he's aiming for!

Kevin: Oh, snap!

Esco: Both of them plunge into the land-water and sink to the murky depths...

Kevin: Fortunately, Red still has another life.

Esco: Oh damn, Metal's waking up...

Metal Man: Urgh. I smell... bacon flavored waffles. Wait a minute... it's you! Ael! I've got you now, you fun-hating AAAAAAA!

*Metal Man hurls an exploding toaster, a vase, a book of polymorph other, and a weird looking sword around. All of them explode violently on impact, throwing debris everywhere.*

Kevin: Watch it! You're going to hurt someone!


*Metal powers up, summons a triangle made out of three types of energy, and then hurls it into the simulation machine, destroying it.*

Esco: . . .

Kevin: ...

Metal Man: Oh, it was only the Simulation Machine. Too bad. I had a good feeling about that one... coulda blown up the whole stadium with a better throw. It'll be better when I replace it with the holo room, anyway.

Esco: Well, there goes the match. No one wins. What a waste of time.

Red: All right, time for my... last... What happened?

Kevin: Metal destroyed the Simulation Machine.

Red: Are you serious? Damnit, now how am I supposed to show off my skills and defeat the virus single-handedly?

Esco: Look over there. *points to the viruses, which have now apparently broken free from the machine*

Kevin: Let's continue this fight! 1 life, 200HP, simulation room!

Red: Okay!

Missing: One magical Neglected Characters-continuing time machine.
Lives: 1
Lives: 1
Lives: 1

Esco: Red throws the first punch, and connects with-

*A giant dryer flies into view and explodes, and the smaller virus disintegrates from the damage*

Esco: ... Metal?

Metal Man: This match bores me. It's much better when enhanced with exploding household appliances.


Kevin: If you could just blow them up, why didn't you do that in the first place?

Metal Man: Well, I could have done it if SOMEONE wasn't so bent on commentating! *pointing to Esco*

Esco: You were the one who suggested we settle this as an official match!

Kevin: Guys, guys! We're missing the fight!

Red 128HP [/]'M## 103HP

Esco: Red strikes the M Block with another one of his spinning kicks! *Dodges a punch thrown by Metal*

Metal Man: And the Glitchy Idiocy Virus fires off a stream of water, pushing Red back and denying him his combo. *Blocks Esco's flaming kick with an electrified barber pole.*

Kevin: Now Red takes a nugget out of his pocket and throws it at the M guy! It retaliates by duplicating it and showering Red in a flurry of nuggets!

Red: It's-ow worth it-ow, I need the-ow money-ow.

Esco: Who allowed him to bring that into the fight?

Metal Man: Well, you let him smuggle his Charizard into the fight-

Esco: I WASN'T ASKING YOU!! *Uses telekinesis to slam Metal into the far wall*

Metal Man: Whatever you say, Mewtwo.

Kevin: Now that the M's out of nuggets, Red can jump in and attack it again! He strikes it with outstretched palms and juggles it into another combo!

Metal Man: It's your turn, Ninja! NINJA PROJECTILE! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *Throws Esco into [/]'M##*

Kevin: Wow Metal, that throw was really strong! And completely unneccessary!

Metal Man: Why thank you, inferior commentator replacement!

*[/]'M## dissipates under Esco's body*


This game's winner is...

Metal Man: Me! I got the last hit! I am the best!

Red: You weren't even in this battle! Besides, I wore him down!

Metal Man: As Head SP, I officially declare the match as a win in my favor! So nyah!

*A dormant stadium robot boots up and swoops into view*


Metal Man: Wait, what? Since when?


Metal Man: Nobody tells me what to do! Eat time photons, foo'!

*Metal shoots the robot several times*

Esco: *Barely gets to his feet* Looks like your reprogramming effort backfired.

Metal Man: Well, no. That was something else entirely. This Stadium has a few leftover bots, and...

Esco: Stop making excuses!

Metal Man: ...It wasn't something I programmed on purpose, anyway.

Esco: Bah. Your programming still caused it to do that, I'm sure of it.

Red: So, about my win...

Metal Man: You want the win back? You'll have to get it back from me.

*Metal levels his pistol at Red's face*

Red: . . .

*Yesman reappears*

Yesman: Don't worry, Red. You and Ash have both been entered into the records via a convenient loophole I discovered.

Red: Oh, that's good.

Metal Man: No it isn't! *Turns and shoots Yesman in the foot* Your pay is going to be docked for that! Loopholes belong to ME!

Yesman: Ow! Ow!

Red: By the way, where's Ash?

Yesman: Oh, he's recovering. It's not every day that you get beaten to a pulp by thousands of angry pokémon clones.

Red: I see. Go thank him for me. He provided just the distraction I needed to escape the mob.

Yesman: Okay. *leaves*

Red: I have to get going too. Some other fool challenged me to a battle up on Mt. Silver. *leaves*

Metal Man: I'll be back, with a new holo room! You may have gotten what you wanted today, Ninja, but mark my words. I WILL glue a rainbow clown wig to your skull! *leaves*

Kevin: So, I guess it's just us now.

Esco: Yes, I believe it is.

Kevin: Uhh... so do you think it still works?

Esco: The simulator? I doubt it, but I heard that Metal got this place insured. It wouldn't surprise me if we got a new one within the next couple days.

Kevin: Yeah, you're right. Can you tell me some more about your ninja clan?

Esco: I don't see why not. So, there was this one guy whose name was Sai Fasier...

*Fade to black*

*An unknown location - the four figures continue to discuss their plans*

??: Sir! It seems that our attempts at causing chaos with the virus was a partial success!

?: That's good... -wait, partial? You mean it's not a FULL success?

??: Well, we successfully took down the SSS computer system momentarily, but in the end it seems that they have deleted it.

?: This is not good for us... I expected the virus to distract them LONGER than that!

??: I understand, sir, but-

?: No, you don't understand! My entire plan hinged on their being distracted for at LEAST two weeks!

???: Number One, I hope you realize that we would need more than two weeks to prepare ourselves for-

??: No, it's entirely my fault. I'm sorry.

?: Well, it looks like we're going to have to change our plans. Ready the secret weapon!

????: The secret weapon isn't ready yet. Terribly sorry about it, but...


????: Yes, but we've run into a little problem. You see, our weapon uses an advanced computer network in order to function as a sort of "hive mind"...

?: And? Wait... don't tell me...

???: *Muttering to himself* This is going to suck.


????: Well, I didn't. But somebody else did... and it's still annoying me.

??: But sir, we didn't mean to-


*The leader continues to ramble on as the scene fades to black*

*Esco's Room, the next day, at 2:00 AM*

Esco: Ugh, I can't sleep. I wonder if I got any new E-Mails...

*Esco gets out of bed and sits down at his computer*

Esco: Ah, Here's a new one! "Exclusive footage of the new Mortal Kombat movie"? All right!

*Esco clicks the url:*


*cut to Metal in his office, awakened by the sudden yell*

Metal Man: This vengeance has only begun. First Youtube videos, then the world! ...I mean another match! *falls back asleep*