Match #9: Whips vs. Masks

The fighters for Great Bay: Simon vs Young Link
3 Stock
Items: Medium

*Staff Lounge. Yesman, Light Bear, Kevin, and Rainbow Dash are sitting around*

Kevin: It seems like something is supposed to be happening....

Rainbow Dash: Isn't there a match supposed to be going down?

Yesman: Um... Oh crap. *Runs out*

*3 seconds later*

Yesman: I need a co-commentator! Now. Let's see... Kevin? No I don't like you, and I don't even think you're supposed to be back here.

Kevin: Probably not.

Yesman: Rainbow? No, you scare me, and remind me of the reasons Metal gets mad...

Rainbow Dash: ... What?

Yesman: Light Bear? Ya Light Bear.

Light Bear: ZZZZ *sleeping*

Yesman: *Throws a cup at Light Bear*

Light Bear: *jumps up startled* Whuzzat?

Yesman: Hey buddy, I was wondering when you were going to wake up.

Light Bear: Oh, Good evening, Yesman. I was just having a dream about the old days when I was the mayor of-

Yesman: Ya, that's great and all, but I need you to do a favor for me. Would you commentate a match with me?

Light Bear: What, right now?

Yesman: Yes. ...Actually, ten minutes ago..

Light Bear: WHAT?! W-well, let's get going...!

*In commentators booth*

Yesman: Well hello and welcome all you people who are probably more successful than me. It's time for another Super Smash Stadium beat down!

Light Bear: Indeed. As you know I'm, ah, Light Bear, and I'll be one of your, uh, commentators for today.

*Loud cheers*

Yesman: Light Bear, leave it to the professionals.

Light Bear: (Hey, I've been here longer than you)

Yesman: Watch and learn. Hi folks! I am your commentator today. I'm the one, the only, the GREAT, YESMAN!

*Slow awkward clap*

Yesman: I'm starting to feel as neglected as my cousin, the Neglected, Neglected Narrator Guy.... Our fight today will be between...

Light Bear: Simon and Young Link?

Yesman: Simon vs Young Link, and the will be fighting on the Great Bay.

Light Bear: This is a 3 stock match with no time limit. Items are on medium.

Yesman: *Looks around* Yes... I finally get to say it! ENTER THE FIGHTERS!

Esco: *Appears out of nowhere, and punches Yesman*

Esco: THAT'S MY LINE!! *Walks away*

Yesman: Dang...

Light Bear: Uh... at any rate, here's Simon swinging in by his whip on the left. And there's Young Link, warping in from the right.

Yesman: Cool. Can we go?

Light Bear: Uh... yeah. GO!

Yesman: Simon begins the fight by throwing a cross at Young Link.

Light Bear: Ah, but Young Link blocks the attack with his shield, then jumps above Simon!

Yesman: But Simon uses an Aerial whip on him before he can do anything.

Light Bear: Young Link is hit, and falls to the side! Oh, but then he hits Simon with his hookshot and throws him to the right!

Yesman: Simon falls onto the turtle and taunts. Ppfft... Show off.

Light Bear: Young Link pulls out what looks like a bomb and... puts it on his face?!

Yesman: He's going to bomb his face?!! Why Young Link??!!

Light Bear: Oh, it's the bomb mask! He uses it on Simon.

Yesman: Oh.. It still does danger to both of them though.

Light Bear: Simon uses his whip on Young Link, but he just side-steps the attack.

Yesman:The turtle goes underwater so both fighters jump to the left.

Light Bear: Young Link tries a smash attack on Simon, but Simon jumps out of the way and uses a downward Whip on Young Link!

Go to the Sierra Madre Casino. Start anew! (Beware of deadly clouds of poisonous gas.)
Young Link
Lives: 3
Lives: 3

Yesman: A crate falls to the Left. Simon runs toward it and throws an ax at it to break it open. I wish I had an ax. I only have this stupid hand grenade...

Light Bear: Gah! Thats dangerous! Where did you get that?

Yesman: Some nice looking homeless man gave it to me.

Light Bear: ...aaaaand back to the match, inside the crate are two hammers and a Paper Mario badge. The badge is a "Double Dip," which allows the wearer to use two items at once.

Yesman: Simon puts on the badge and picks up both hammers. Young Link pulls out a mask. It's the Deku Mask!

Light Bear: He puts it on and transforms into Deku Link!

Yesman: Is this legal? Ah who cares. He uses flower helicopter. He is hovering there and Simon is trying to reach him with the hammers but he's too short! Hahaha!

Light Bear: The Hammers wear off an Deku Link falls down. He uses a Deku Spin on Simon.

Yesman: Simon is knocked to the left and *throws in a bob-omb* a bob-omb falls to the right.

Light Bear: Deku Link runs toward the bomb. He tries to grab it....

Yesman: It turns out to be too heavy for him to grab. Hahaha, now both fighters are pathetic!

Light Bear: It explodes right there in front of him! That's an easy KO!

Yesman: KO!

WANTED: New, non-stupid Space Quest game. Must avoid cliched shrinking down and exploring inside people's body scenes.
Deku Link
Lives: 3
Lives: 2

Light Bear: Simon taunts by... checking himself out in a mirror? Makes me think of his time with Captain N... At any rate, Deku Link returns and uses his Flower Helicopter.

Yesman: Meanwhile, in midair above Simon, he drops a Deku Seed and it hits Simon.

Light Bear: A Fire Flower! Simon snatches it up.

Yesman: Link quickly takes off his mask, but instead of fighting, he takes out another mask. It's the Goron Mask. Ya I know my masks.

Light Bear: You sure do. He dons the mask and transforms into Goron Link.

Yesman: Simon walks toward Goron Link and uses the fire flower. It doesn't do any damage on him. It's just Simon who's pathetic again.

Light Bear: Goron Link uses Goron Punch and smacks Simon to the right!

Yesman: He barely recovers. So what. I don't like Simon. He lands on the right platform, and Goron Link rolls over toward him and uses his Goron Pound again.

Light Bear: Aren't we supposed to be impartial?! Ah, but Simon sidesteps behind him and grabs him with his whip.

Yesman: He begins beating him with his ax. Oh well I don't like Link either.

Light Bear: Well, I guess that counts... Goron Link gets out of the attack an uses a Goron Pound.

Yesman: It makes direct contact! KO!

Mwahahaha. After 10,000 years, I am free! It is time to advertise on billboards that aren't on Earth! -The Noid
Goron Link
Lives: 2
Lives: 2

Light Bear: Simon returns... but for some reason he's not going for Goron Link.

Yesman: Simon jumps over onto the platform where turtle which just returned and just stands there. That's stupid.

Light Bear: Goron Link looks kinda confused but walks over onto the turtle anyway. He begins to use a Goron Pound, but Simon rolls behind him and grabs him with his whip...?

Yesman: He isnt attacking. Thats even more stupid. Whats he waiting for?!

Light Bear: ...oh! He's trying to keep him still! The turtle begins to sink.

Yesman: It makes sense. Simon lets go and jumps back onto the platform.

Light Bear: How clever! Goron Link, not quick or agile enough to jump or just get onto the platform is KOed!

Yesman: KO!

Light Bear: you have to do that?

Yesman: Yes.

Go to Mewtwo's Moon Resort! Guaranteed not to be a front for yet another plot to take over the world with clones!
Goron Link
Lives: 2
Lives: 1

Light Bear: Goron Link returns and takes off his mask.

Yesman: He puts on the Zora Mask and transforms into Zora Link... Predictably....

Light Bear: He quickly uses his fins like boomerangs and hits Simon with them.

Yesman: *Throws in Smash ball* To the right a Smash Ball appears! Whoa... I wonder what determines when those come.

Light Bear: Oh shush. Both fighters frantically run toward it. Zora link uses a Zora Lunge downward toward Simon.

Yesman: He hits him but Simon retaliates by throwing a cross at him, and then whipping him.

Light Bear: A party ball falls to the left. Zora Link, confident on his speed, goes for it and picks it up.

Yesman: Yes. He throws it at Simon who is jumping for the smash ball. It hits Simon.

Light Bear: The party ball rises and opens up! Looks like inside is a bob-omb, a melee-style laser sword, and a baseball bat.

Yesman: Simon, decides to give up on the Smash Ball, and tries to grab the bat.

Light Bear: Zora Link has other plans though, and throws the Bob-omb at him!

Yesman: Simon is knocked far to the right.

Light Bear: Looks like he's gonna recover by landing on the turtle... oh, but the turtle sinks with Simon on his back!

Yesman: KO!

Light Bear: Okay, really... Can you stop it?

Yesman: Yes.

Light Bear: Thank you.

The Time Cops want YOU... to stop going back in time and becoming your own grandparent. Seriously, that's just gross.
Zora Link
Lives: 1
Lives: 1

Light Bear: Zora Link runs for the Smash Ball... and he breaks it!

Yesman: Meanwhile Simon came back and grabbed the baseball bat.

Light Bear: Zora Link lands on the platform, but before he gets the chance to use the smash ball, Simon Smashes him with the baseball bat!

Yesman: Zora Link is sent flying and loses the smash ball. He is not going to recover and falls into the water.

Light Bear: Hey, he's just swimming in it! I guess Simon is going to have to KO him vertically or upward. Anyway, Zora Link jumps back onto the platform and lunges at Simon!

Yesman: He then Smashes Simon into the air, but the smash ball flies right by him. Why didn't you just hit it?

Light Bear: Simon hits it, but it's knocked downward toward Zora Link.

Yesman: Zora Link uses Zora Waterfall and once again Smashes the smash ball. This time Zora Link is going to get away with it.

Light Bear: He uses the Smash Ball! There's a flash of light!

Yesman:What is he? He's a MONSTER! Energy drink. Try one NOW!

Light Bear: It's Fierce Deity Link! ...and advertising? Really?

Yesman: You think I actually get enough money from this job?

Light Bear: Ugh... Fierce Deity Link jumps and uses a Downward slash on Simon! That's a critical hit!

Yesman: It knocks back Simon, and he barely recovers.

Light Bear: Fierce Deity Link's just standing there, waiting. Simon tries to whip Fierce Deity Link, but - OH! He's KOd by a simple Stab from his Sword!

Yesman: KO!

Light Bear: You said you would stop! D=

Yesman: I said I could...


Yesman: Well that was an interesting match. I'm surprised how well that match turned out, and not one temp got fired!

Light Bear: Yeah, I'm surprised at how powerful Fierce Deity Link turned out to be there! And good for those, uh, temps, we, uh, have to look out for them.

Yesman: Yes.

Light Bear: Well, I suppose nothing too bad happened today...

*A dark chamber. The four figures appear, one by one, gathering into the center of the chamber*

?: Okay, something needs to be done!

??: I know, right? It's too dark in here.

???: I LIKE the darkness.

?: Not that, you idiots! Something must be done in order to further my great plans!

????: Sir, the virus has officially been cleared from our systems.

?: Good, now fire up the weapon!

????: *whispers to ??* Should I tell him?

??: *whispers back* No. He'll freak out if he knows that we have no backups of the weapon computer systems.

????: Okay. Umm, the weapon is not currently operational at this time.

?: Why not?

????: Because...-

??: -Because we're in the process of updating it.

????: Yeah. That's right. I found some problems with the old systems that I need to patch up.

?: How long will it take?

????: I don't know, sir. It will be ready when it's done.

?: ... I don't have time for this. Does anyone in here have something that we can use to stall, yet again, until the weapon is finished?

??: Well, I made a little something... *gives ? a small bug robot*

?: A spy-bot? This is useless to me. We have hundreds of hidden cameras set up around the premises!

*cut to Yesman in the restroom*

Yesman: Somehow, I feel like I'm being watched.

*camera pans up to a highly visible security camera hanging over the stall*

??: This isn't a spy-bot. It's something of a robotic parasite. It feeds off of light energy!

?: Let me get this straight: You made a tiny robot that only serves to feed off of my own light powers? *holds up his fist, which begins to glow*

???: DON'T DO THAT!! You'll illuminate the room and expose us to the audience!

?: Right. *stops glowing*

??: This robot is not meant for you, Number One. I made it specifically for those pesky quadripeds.

?: Oh, you mean THOSE light beings. I will take great pleasure in watching them suffer. Carry on!

??: Yes sir! *leaves*

?: And don't release these bugs within our home base!

*The group disassembles. Cut to black.*