(A dark night in a city that knows how to keep its secrets. But high above the hustle and bustle, on the twelth story of the Acme building, one man-...)

175: Hey, this is MY story! Keep the drama to a minimum!

(Fine.)

175: Good. Now, I need evidence to prove Dr. Mario and Mario are one in the same. What do we have so far?

Navi: Questionable facts and a few photos. How did you rope into this anyways?

175: I waved another picture of Kevin Sorbo in front of you.

Navi: Why do you even have those?

175: I use them to bribe girls. Now, back to business. First, we'll dust for fingerprints!

Navi: Fingerprints from a guy who's always wearing gloves?

175: Footprints!

Navi: And how would you distinguish them from all the other footprints around here?

175: Hair samples?

Navi: I think the night cleaners would've gotten them by now.

175: Stop using logic to ruin my investigation!

Navi: Sorry, but there's just no physical proof.

175: Wait, I have an idea!

Navi: Isn't this crazy enough as is?

175: Not yet! (leaps onto a pipe.) Come, Navi, we'll take the Warp Zone!

(175 goes down the pipe, only to come up seconds later holding his nose and gasping for air.)

Navi: That's the pipe to our sewer system.

175: I see. Come, Navi, we'll take the stairs!

(One scene transition later...)

Navi: So, what are you planning?

175: Interviews! One of the fans may know something about Dr. Mario we can use. There's one! Excuse me, sir? I have a few questions I'd like to ask you.

Chosirath: ...sure. Why not? <_< >_>

175: All right! (gets up close.) When was the war of 1812? What's the capital of Minnesota? What is Wayne Gretzky's middle name?

Navi: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that got to do with your investigation?

175: Uh, nothing. I'm just trying to get some answers here.

Chosirath: The war of 1812 probably took place in 1812. The capital of Minnesota is the capital of Minnesota. I supposed Wayne Gretzky's middle name is his middle name, unless he has none. In other words, I dunno.

175: Wow, those answers are just vague enough to work. But enough small talk. (pulls out a picture of Dr. Mario.) What can do you tell me about THIS MAN?

Chosirath: He's the man in the picture. I think you better ask someone else. (points off to the distance.)

175: Okay then...thanks for the help...I guess. Let's go, sidekick.

Navi: I am not your sidekick!

Chosirath: I have a question for you! Do sidekicks hurt?

(A rimshot plays.)

175: This one will if I call her that again.

Navi: Darn right.

(The two walk off.)

Navi: Well, that was fruitless.

175: We can't give up so soon. A-ha, there's another potential witness! (turns towards Sky.)

Navi: You sure?

175: Not at all. Hey, miss!

Sky: Uh, yes?

175: Okay, Sky - if that IS your real name - what can you tell me about the man they call "Dr. Mario"?

Sky: Well. He's Mario, everyone's favorite italian plumber, except somehow in a doctor's uniform and seems to enjoy throwing pills at people. How that qualifies as a form of treatment, I don't know. But hey. At least he's got a nifty theme song.

175: Yes, someone who agrees with me! They all said I was mad for coming up with that theory!

Navi: No, they thought you were mad long before you came up with that theory.

Sky: Hehe.

175: Ha, come, sidekick! We must find more people who support my theory! (heads off.)

Navi: Damn it, I'm not your sidekick! Great, now you've encouraged him. Well, I don't suppose there's a slim chance you have something along the line of proof, would you?

Sky: Well, if you DO follow him around often...

Navi: Good idea. (looks at 175.) I'd better calm him down before he does something more insane than usual. Thanks for the help. (heads off.)

175: Ah, support...it's so uplifting!

Navi: True, but her advice requires us to locate him first.

175: We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Excuse me, you there?

Random Pedestrian: Hm? what is it?

175: I'm looking for information on the man they call "Dr. Mario." Have you heard anything about him? Rumors or such?

Random Pedestrian: I'm pretty sure it's Mario in a doctor uniform...and I have no idea when he had a doctorate's degree.

175: Hurray, that's two people who agree with me! I'm on fire, baby!

Navi: No, you're lucky.

Random Pedestrian: I honestly do not know why people find you annoying, Navi. I personally don't.

Navi: Really? (perks up.)

Random Pedestrian: And who is this other person who agrees with you?

175: I musn't tell. I'd like to keep my sources anonymous for the time.

Random Pedestrian: All right. And yea, I've seen people tempting to put you in a bottle to shut you up.

Navi: I loathe that stereotype of me.

175: Now, do you know of any proof we could use? Hair samples, finger prints, skin cells?

Random Pedestrian: Nothing of that caliber...though Peach should know something since she is his nurse/assistant.

175: Excellent! Thanks for the help! Awaaaaay! (heads off.)

Navi: Great, he's been encouraged again. I'd better keep from doing something inane. Oh, thanks for the self-esteem boost too. (heads after him.)

Random Pedestrian: Umm... you're welcome?

(Along the way...)

175: Now, where can we find Princess Peach?

Navi: Probably somewhere around the Stadium.

175: Yes, but where? Hmm? (spots someone.) Excuse me? Can I have a moment of your time?

Jimi: Hm? (turns around.) Yeah.

175: I'm looking for information of the man known only as "Dr. Mario." Have you heard anything about him?

Jimi: Dr. Mario...I think he's that famous plumber guy, but with a doctors outfit on.

175: Hah, that's three so far. Admit it, my theory has more support than you thought.

Navi: Yeah, yeah, you've got me there.

Jimi: I..see.

175: Now, where was the last known place Dr. Mario was seen?

Jimi: Um..at the stadium? Or in a doctors office.

175: Thanks for the help. Quick, to the Bat-Cave! I mean, doctor's office! (heads off.)

Navi: Man, I wish people would stop encouraging him. Before long, he's gonna do something insane, I just know it.

Jimi: ...hasn't someone trapped you in a bottle yet? (looks at Navi.)

Navi: That joke stopped being funny a long time ago.

Jimi: So did you telling me to look and listen. Maybe I didn't want too, huh?! Did you ever think of that?

Navi: It wasn't exactly fond of it either, but if it got Link's attention, so be it.

175: (comes back.) Hey, get the lead out! We haven't got all day! Actually, we do; I just want to pick this up a bit. (heads out again.)

Navi: All right. Thanks anyways for the help. (walks away.)

Jimi: (Wonders why Navi didn't fly, then shrugs and continues on with whatever she was doing.)

(Shortly, at the doctor's office...)

175: So, Princess Peach, you've worked as a nurse a few times, correct?

Peach: Right.

175: So, surely you must know something about Dr. Mario, correct?

Peach: That's true, but I'm not telling you anything. He insisted that.

175: Why? What's he hiding?

Peach: His secret identity.

175: I meant besides that.

Peach: Okay, that's it. I'm not answering any more questions. (walks off.)

Navi: Nice going. We stumbled across a genuine lead and you ruined it.

175: I did not! She just chose to cut out early! We need to find someone else. (spies Knight.) A-ha! Hey, Knight, can I have a moment of your time?

Knight: Well, since you caught me before I could escape...sure! What do you need?

175: As an SP, you must know more about this "Dr. Mario" character than anyone else. Now, is it possible for you to tell me anything about him?

Knight: Dr. Mario? Well, I don't know much but I did hear a rumor.

175: Oh? Do tell.

Knight: Alright, well I heard this rumor...(looks around.) I heard that he's Mario's twin brother who tried to become a doctor. But he spent so much time plumbing he didn't have time to go to med school so he became evil and took on the guise of...Dr Mario! I heard it from the trash can. Don't tell anyone!

175: Really? (turns to the trash can.) Okay, trash can, give it up now and spend less time in the big house!

Trash can: (is just a trash can.)

Navi: Is it possible the stress has caused you to go insane?

175: I wouldn't dismiss it.

Knight: He's shy.

175: Okay, I'll deal with you later. You're on my hit list! (storms off.)

Navi: If I kill him, do I get a raise?

Knight: Don't kill him. Just break his legs. (whispers to the trash can.) They're onto us. We'll have to take them both out. (back to Navi.) Is that all?

Navi: Thankfully, yes. (leaves.)

(Outside the doctor's office...)

Navi: Okay, all those interviews and you have nothing. Can we stop now?

175: No! I refuse to give up so easily! I will search come hell or high water!

(Dr. Mario walks by, drinking a smoothie.)

175: I'll find him. No detail escapes me. No clue evades my trained eye.

Dr. Mario: What's with-a him?

Navi: He couldn't find a hippo in a bathtub.

175: (wheels around.) A-HA! Dr. Mario! At last we meet!

Dr. Mario: Yes, I've-a heard you've been looking into-a my identity.

175: That's right! Now, it's clearer than ever who you really are. Navi, don't you agree with me that up close, there's no doubt he's really Mario?

Navi: Yeah, he does seem familar, but that doctor's hat has me baffled.

175: Does this work on the same principle as wearing something over the eye area to make one unrecognizable?

Dr. Mario: Why are you a-so interested in knowing my-a secret identity?

175: Why? Because it's so clear to me that you must be Mario and nobody else seems to get it! I mean, that nose. Those eyes. That sexy mustache!

Dr. Mario: It is very sexy.

Navi: Did you just call his mustache sexy?

175: Uh, no. Now, just take off that...thing on your head and put this on! (pulls out a Mario cap replica.)

Dr. Mario: No, and I'm-a only going to say this once: Don't you-a go sticking your nose where it-a don't belong.

175: Is that a threat?

Dr. Mario: No, I'm-a under the hypocratic oath, but you won't-a like the truth.

175: Is it a requirement for you to be cryptic?

Dr. Mario: Nope. Hey, look, what's-a that?

175: Nice try, but you can't fool me into turning around! I'm not taking my eyes off you until I get to the bottom of this!

Dr. Mario: Fine!

(Dr. Mario throws down a Megavitamin, which explodes into a white cloud blinding 175 and Navi. When it clears, he's gone.)

175: What is he, a doctor or a ninja?

Navi: All right, I'm getting off here. You're too crazy to keep up with. (walks away.)

175: Fine, but you'll all see! I'm right and you know it! I'll prove it! And then, the world WILL BE MINE!! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Trash can: Hey, man, calm down. You're getting weird.

175: Fine. Hey, trash can, wanna be my new sidekick? My old one seems to have quit on me.

(175 gets knocked over by an energy blast.)

Navi: For the last time, I'm NOT your sidekick!

Trash can: That's not cool.