(In the Master Control Room...)
Metal Man: Hey, Kamek gave this to me! (hands GG a DVD.)
Game Guru: (reads the label.) "Koopalings' Quest"?
Pat: Ooh, Lemmy told me about this. It was his Time Travel adventure.
GG: Lemmy had a time travel adventure? Which reminds me, maybe Iggy can help out on that Mazda Ahura...thing...Dr. Light is working on...
Pat: What?
GG: You know Future Me, konking out Hyperion and using that vehicle to get us back?
Pat: Oh! Yeah, yeah...Earth Destroying Paradox and all that.
Metal Man: So what should we do?
GG: Air it!
(The DVD is put into the system and begins playing.)
Koopalings' Quest
by Prince Lemmy Koopa
Prologue
Kamek: HIP! HOP! ENTREZ ICI!
(Lemmy and Iggy run towards Kamek)
Iggy: Hip et Hop--
Lemmy: Reportage pour le devoir!
Kamek: J'ai une mission pour les deux de toi, mais c'est secret supérieur…
(The DVD is paused.)
Pat: Wait, why's the default language French?
GG: (working with the remote.) Settings...language selection...English...okay, here we go.
Koopalings' Quest
by Prince Lemmy Koopa
Prologue
Kamek: HIP! HOP! GET IN HERE!
(Lemmy and Iggy run towards Kamek)
Iggy: Hip and Hop--
Lemmy: Reporting for duty!
Kamek: I have a mission for the two of you, but it’s top secret...
Iggy: We won’t--
Lemmy: Tell anyone.
Kamek: I’ve been doing some research and I found something interesting.
Iggy: Spill--
Lemmy: It.
Kamek: The Golden Scepter of Apook.
Iggy: The golden what--
Lemmy: Of what?
Kamek: The Golden Scepter of Apook. It’s rumored to have belonged to an ancient Magikoopa. He was said to have unimaginable power. They say the golden scepter has the power of space-time manipulation in addition to many other powers.
Iggy: And that--
Lemmy: Means what?
Kamek: It means time travel!
Iggy and Lemmy: Cool!
Iggy: So what--
Lemmy: Do we do?
Kamek: The scepter was reportedly lost in ancient Egypt after two Roman aqueduct builders killed Apook.
Iggy: What’s an--
Lemmy: Aqueduct?
Kamek: It’s an ancient form of plumbing, but that’s beside the point. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to venture to Egypt and retrieve the lost scepter of Apook.
Iggy: Will you self-destruct--
Lemmy: In ten seconds?
Kamek: Of course not! The point is, are you willing to go?
Iggy: What will we--
Lemmy: Get out of it?
Kamek: Once I have the scepter the Koopas can easily take over the world.
Iggy and Lemmy: Cool! We’ll do it!
Kamek: Excellent, now there is one slight problem...
Iggy: What--
Lemmy: Is it?
Kamek: Your father would never let you go. We need him to think you’re still here.
Iggy: No problem--
Lemmy: In that department.
Kamek: Oh?
Iggy: Let us introduce--
Lemmy: Iggy-bot and Lemmy-bot!
(Iggy-bot and Lemmy-bot walk in, looking exactly like Iggy and Lemmy)
Kamek: Excellent. Now, I will use my magic to send you to Egypt and off you go!
Iggy: Adios, Kamek!
Lemmy: See you!
Kamek: (Points his scepter at Lemmy and Iggy, a twister appears and whisks them away to Egypt)
Chapter One
(The two wind up in the middle of a desert)
Lemmy: I guess we’re here...
Iggy: (Nods) Okay, let’s get searching.
Lemmy: Umm... where do we search?
Iggy: Never fear! (Pulls out his magic wand) Show us the way to the Golden Scepter of Apook! (Throws the wand onto the ground. It spins around and comes to point north) That way! (Picks up the wand and walks north)
Lemmy: (Follows Iggy) So any idea when we stop looking?
Iggy: When we see something?
Lemmy: Well I see something! (Points forward. Ahead of him is a huge golden glow.)
Iggy: What the heck? C’mon! (Runs forward, and suddenly stops short)
Lemmy: Wait for me! (Stops short right in front of Iggy)
Iggy: It’s... it’s...
Lemmy and Iggy: THE SCEPTER! (They gaze at the glowing golden scepter. The two grab the scepter at the same time when suddenly--)
Lemmy: Where the devil are we?
Iggy: Seems to be the same place, but those tents weren’t there before...
Lemmy: I agree...
Iggy: I see someone coming out of the tents!
Lemmy: I’ll go talk to him. Is the translation spell on?
Iggy: Always is.
Lemmy: (Walks over to the man) Hello!
Man: (Stares at Lemmy) IT’S THE KAPPA! (Turns pale and runs back into his tent)
Lemmy: Kappa?
Iggy: It’s a humanoid turtle creature that lives in lakes and rivers attacking nearby people.
Lemmy: Okay, then that didn’t work... Here’s an idea, cast a disguise spell!
Iggy: Great idea, who do you suggest?
Lemmy: Turn me into Adam!
Iggy: And I’ll turn myself into... um...
Lemmy: Lord Reid?
Iggy: Yeah! Lord Reid! (Taps his head with his wand, creating the illusion of him being Reid)
Lemmy: (Taps himself with his wand, transforming into Adam)
Iggy: (Walks up to the tent) Excuse me, sir?
Man: (Peeks out of tent) Hello, stranger.
Iggy: I was wondering if you knew where we are?
Man: We’re in the heart of Egypt, the greatest kingdom on this planet!
Lemmy: ...Who’s the current ruler?
Man: Why, Cleopatra of course!
Iggy: But she lived hundreds and hundreds of--
Lemmy: WE TRAVELED THROUGH TIME!
Iggy: Kamek DID mention the Scepter having space-time properties--
Man: Excuse me, but what are you talking about?
Iggy: Would you happen to know of a man named Apook?
Man: Of course, he’s Cleopatra’s right hand man, the greatest sorcerer in the kingdom!
Lemmy: And how would we get to wherever Apook is?
Man: Just head due north until you reach Giza. The palace is in plain site.
Lemmy: C’mon, Iggers! Let’s move! (Grabs Iggy’s arm and runs north)
Man: Odd kids...
Iggy: Well, I guess those directions were clear enough. (Looks up at the huge palace)
Lemmy: Shall we go in? (The two walk forward)
Guard: Hold it, kids! This castle is for adults only!
Iggy: We have an important message for Apook. It’s urgent and we must get it to him right away!
Lemmy: Yeah. All the adult messengers were away so they sent us!
Guard: Umm... okay.
(The two walk in)
Apook: (To Cleopatra) Someone is coming...
Cleopatra: Did you see that with your magic?
Apook: Actually, I heard their footsteps...
Cleopatra: Well, what do they want?
Apook: I’ll go check. (Walks forward)
Lemmy: (Looks up at Apook) We know-- Iggy: What you are...
Apook: I am the sorcerer Apook!
Lemmy: You are--
Iggy: Turtleoid.
Apook: (Steps back aghast) No, no! You are wrong! I am Apook!
Lemmy: We must--
Iggy: Speak with you!
Apook: Nobody may know my secret! (Points his Golden Scepter at Lemmy and Iggy)
Lemmy: Uh--
Iggy: Oh...
(The two are blasted by the golden scepter and find themselves--)
Chapter Two
Lemmy: What the heck? This is a JUNGLE!
Iggy: He must have transported us far away...
Lemmy: Check your wand for co-ordinance.
Iggy: (Looks at his wand) The co-ordinance say we’re in Giza...
Lemmy: I hear something!
(They hear a loud stomping in the distance; the ground starts to shake.)
Rex: Hello! Is anybody there?
Iggy: It’s a T-Rex!
Rex: I don’t like Hide and Seek!
Lemmy: Drop the 'guises...
Iggy: Gotcha... (Drops their human disguises.)
Lemmy: Hello, Mr. T-Rex! What’s your name?
Rex: The name’s Franklin. And... what are you and how do you know how to talk?
Iggy: I am Prince Iggy Koopa!
Lemmy: And I’m Prince Lemmy Koopa!
Iggy: We got sent back in time by the golden scepter of Apook and we don’t know how to get back!
Franklin: Golden Scepter? What’s a scepter?
Iggy: (Holds out his wand) It’s like this, but bigger.
Franklin: I’ve seen one of those! The magus Roger has one!
Lemmy: Magus?
Franklin: It means powerful magic user. He points it at people and they disappear forever!
Iggy: Let’s go find this Roger!
Lemmy: Maybe he can send us back to the right time period!
Franklin: Let’s go! Um... would you little turtles like a ride?
Iggy: It would help. (Climbs on Franklin’s back)
Lemmy: (Does the same)
Franklin: (Runs toward the castle of the Magus) Sorry, but I only go so far. From here on, you’re on your own.
Iggy: Thanks anyway! (Jumps off)
Lemmy: Same here! (Jumps onto Iggy’s head)
Iggy: Ow!
Lemmy: Sorry...
Franklin: Bye! (Stomps off)
Iggy: After you.
Lemmy: After you.
Iggy: No, after you.
Lemmy: But I insist!
Iggy: It wouldn’t be kind for me to go first!
Lemmy: But I need to bring up the rear in case someone is following us!
Iggy: How about I bring up the rear?
Lemmy: I’ll pay you.
Iggy: How much?
Lemmy: Two bucks.
Iggy: Deal. (Walks in)
Lemmy: (Follows)
Iggy: HELLO! ROGER!
Lemmy: ROGER! YOU HOME?
(A huge T-Rex materializes in front of them)
Iggy: R-R-Roger?
Roger: K-K-KOOPAS?!?!?!
(In a flash, Roger turns into a 6 foot tall, dark green, spiky shelled, red headed Koopa)
Lemmy: YOU’RE a Koopa?
Roger: Thought I was the only one left!
Iggy: You kind of are...
Lemmy: Maybe...
Iggy: A sorcerer attacked us-- Lemmy: And sent us back in time-- Iggy: To now.
Roger: And you’d like me to send you back?
Lemmy: If it can be done...
Roger: I’ll do it... for a fee.
Iggy: I’ve got fifty dollars...
Roger: What’s a dollar?
Lemmy: What if we brought you with us?
Iggy: Yeah! In our realm, there are tons of Koopa chicks you could pick up!
Roger: Chicks? Pick up?
Lemmy: Beautiful females.
Roger: I see. Sure. I’ll come with you.
Iggy: So how will you send us back?
Roger: Simple. I’ll just use my scepter to transport you to the last time you were in. (Holds up his scepter)
Lemmy: Wait, we’re looking for--
(In a flash, the three were back in Egypt... but the scepter was gone.)
Chapter Three
Roger: Hey! Where’s my scepter?
Lemmy: That was the scepter we were looking for!
Iggy: We almost had it!
Roger: But where did it go?
Lemmy: Maybe the scepter can’t transport itself across time.
Iggy: Or maybe the scepter exists on a plane of multiple time periods and only one will exist in a specific moment in time?
Roger: That scepter was designed to transport anything to any time! I’ve used it myself on numerous occasions to visit times before I was born. It can defiantly transport itself.
Lemmy: Have you ever transported to a time where you’ve seen another of the scepter?
Roger: Well, no...
Iggy: We must go back to the palace. Disguises up! (Iggy transforms himself into Reid once again while Lemmy becomes Adam)
Roger: How did you...?
Iggy: We need a suitable disguise for you as well...
Lemmy: Warui?
Iggy: He’s an elf.
Lemmy: Luigi Man?
Iggy: An Italian in Egypt?
Lemmy: Cleopatra’s husband is Italian.
Iggy: Roman.
Lemmy: Close enough.
Iggy: (He points his wand at Roger)
Roger: Don’t I get a say in--
Iggy: Hocus pokemon! (Roger instantly turns into Luigi Man)
Roger: I feel...fat.
Iggy: You’ll get used to it. Let’s go. (The three walk toward the palace once again)
Guard: Hmm? I don’t remember you leaving. Well, come back in. (He steps aside to let the three back in)
Lemmy: That was easy. Iggy: The worst is yet to come.
Roger: I’m ready for it. (The three walk into the throne room)
Cleopatra: Apook! Apook, get in here! (A flash of light appears next to Cleopatra and Apook materializes)
Apook: I am back. I was just visiting the dawn of time once again. No matter how many times I’ve seen it, I still find it beautiful.
Cleopatra: Those kids from earlier are back!
Apook: You again! (He glares at Lemmy and Iggy)
Roger: (Steps in front of Lemmy and Iggy) What are you doing with my scepter!
Apook: Your scepter? This is MY scepter?
Roger: Iggy, drop my guise! (Iggy nods, and Roger reverts to his Koopa form)
Cleopatra: KAPPA! GET IT OUT OF HERE! OUT, OUT, OUT!
Apook: This is not a Kappa; this is a Koopa. A Kappa lives in the water while Koopas generally reside near volcanoes and other hot places. Get your sentient turtle creatures straight.
Cleopatra: Kappa or Koopa, GET IT OUT!
Apook: (Raises his scepter)
Roger: Tell me, Apook. Do you really expect to get rid of us like that? They came back once from a blast and they can do it again. My scepter is indestructible and will exist in all time periods past its creation. All we need to do is seek it out, and as I created it, I will always be able to find it.
Lemmy: (Drops his guise as well) You’ll just have to fight us.
Iggy: (Drops his guise as well) One on three? Do you like those odds?
Apook: I like them very much. (He raises his scepter, dropping his guise. He reveals a 7 foot tall Magikoopa, dressed in a royal blue robe) For I am Makem Koopa, the most powerful Magikoopa in existence!
Chapter Four
Cleopatra: GET THESE KAPPA OUT OF MY ROOM!
Makem: Koopas, Cleopatra. We are not Kappa.
Iggy: Let’s seal this fight! (He raises his wand into the air, raising a force field around the four Koopas)
Makem: (Raises his scepter in the air and rushes at Iggy with it)
Roger: (Sticks out his foot, tripping the Magikoopa)
Makem: That’s not fighting fair! I summon the inferno! (A fireball explodes in front of Roger, knocking him back a bit)
Roger: Lemmy, Iggy, stand down! This is my battle! (Iggy opens a door in the force field as both Koopalings step out)
Makem: Aqua beam! (A blast of water from the scepter hits Roger in the chest)
Roger: Elemental draw! (The water flows straight into Roger’s body, leaving him unharmed)
Makem: That should have knocked you off your feet!
Roger: You may wield the scepter, but I know of all its secrets!
Makem: WHAT!
Roger: I can absorb the energy it gives off and increase it tenfold! That includes the aqua beam you shot at me! Whirlpool! (The floor under Makem gives way into a whirlpool, swirling around him and pulling him under the palace)
Makem: Ivy whip! (The end of the scepter shoots out a vine, which grasps onto Roger and pulls Makem out of the whirlpool)
Roger: Very innovative...
Makem: Hyaa! (He bashes Roger in the side with the scepter, glowing with evil energy)
Roger: Take your best shot, Makem!
Makem: Black hole! (Out of the scepter shoots a small black orb, less than an inch in diameter)
Roger: Ping.
Makem: Ping?
Roger: (Nods) Ping. (The black hole hits Roger in the chest. Roger’s chest flashes white as a ‘ping’ noise is heard. The black hole bounces back at Makem, squeezing him into it with its immense gravitational pull. The scepter falls to the floor next to Roger.)
Lemmy: Ping.
Iggy: Definitely, definitely ping.
Chapter Five
Lemmy: So, Roger, can we have that scepter now?
Roger: If the scepter exists in your time you will not be able to transport it with you.
Iggy: Here’s an idea. Leave it lying in the desert with a spell cast on it so that anybody other than us who touches the scepter will be transported to a different time.
Roger: I shall do that. (He closes his eyes) I call upon the anti curse spell. (Lemmy and Iggy are surrounded by a black aura) Do not worry about learning spells. When you touch the scepter all its knowledge will become part of you.
Iggy: Thank you.
Roger: So what time would you like to go to?
Lemmy: 2000 AD, December 23.
Roger: Goodbye. I will stay in this time period. (Points the scepter at the twins. In a flash, they are back in the present, standing in the desert near the scepter)
Iggy: Let’s go for it. (Reaches out to grab the scepter. He picks it up with ease. Iggy glows a blue aura)
Lemmy: Let’s get back to Kamek!
Iggy: (Nods) Oh golden scepter, transport us home!
Epilogue
Kamek: What took you two so long?
Lemmy: Lots of stuff.
Iggy: And we’re pooped.
Kamek: Can I see the scepter? (Puts out his hands)
Iggy: Sorry, Kamek. Roger’s spell only works on us.
Lemmy: You don’t want to wind up in ancient Egypt, do you?
Kamek: Huh?
Iggy: Let’s go, Lemmy. (The two walk up to their room, when the scepter starts to glow)
Ludwig: (Peeks out of the door to his room) Lemmy, Iggy, come here! My device is perfected! (The twins walk in to see a huge machine with two doors; Killer is standing near one door)
Lemmy: What is it?
Ludwig: It’s a power transfer device! You put a powerful object in the left door and stand in the right door. You select the percent of transfer, and the powers will be given to you without the object.
Killer: Watch. (He opens the left door and places in it a Master Fire Materia, closes it, and walks over and steps in the right door, closing it behind him)
Ludwig: Power transfer 100%! (Presses a button. The machine starts to glow)
Iggy: This looks interesting...
Ludwig: Oh no! The transfer’s more than it should be! The Materia’s power is massive!
(Suddenly, the machine stops. The left door opens, revealing a clear Materia orb. The power emptied. The right door swings open, revealing a yoshi as red as fire, but other than that, the same as usual)
Killer: What...what happened? I’M RED!!!
Iggy: Powerful--
Lemmy: --Device.
Killer: Why is it so cold in here? Somebody turn up the heat! (Shivers)
Ludwig: Killer’s body temperature has risen higher than normal. The room now feels too cold for him.
X: (Glows and transforms itself into Cala) Please, allow me to do something. (She touches her hand to Killer’s forehead. Killer’s redness dulls into blackness as Cala absorbs the energy) I have removed the excess energy from your body. However, the power is great and you may want it back at points. I can give it back to you any time.
Killer: Thank you, Cala. We may need it for battle sometime.
Lemmy: Hey, I have an idea! (Snatches Iggy’s scepter)
Iggy: HEY!
Lemmy: (He places the scepter in the left door and jumps, with a star ball, into the right) Ludwig, 25 percent.
Ludwig: Transfer at 25%. (He presses a button. The machine glows, then stops. The doors slide open, revealing Lemmy to have a gold shine, the ball also golden) Iggy, you’re next.
Iggy: (Nods, he steps into the machine)
Ludwig: Power transfer at 33%--
Lemmy: 33? I only got 25?
Ludwig: You got 25% of 100, that’s 25. He’s getting 33% of 75, that’s also 25.
Lemmy: ...Oh.
Ludwig: (Pushes a button, the machine glows slightly, Iggy steps out, with the same golden glow as Lemmy had.)
Iggy: I feel the power in me... (He picks up the scepter, both he and the scepter shine) !!! (He puts the scepter back down, and his glow is gone)
Ludwig: It...didn’t work?
Iggy: The scepter took its power back... (He picks up the scepter again, and resumes his golden glow)
Lemmy: It only allows you have its power when its in your hands...
Iggy: Then that’s what I’ll do! When I hold the scepter, I’ll be more powerful physically and magically!
Lemmy: And my new golden ball will help me do super powerful attacks and some magic!
Iggy: But as it is--
Lemmy: --I’m tired--
Iggy: --I’m beat--
Lemmy: --and we're pooped.
Both: Good night, Ludwig!
Ludwig: Night? It’s 3 PM! (The twins walk off to their room)
(GG pops the DVD out and puts in an empty case.)
Pat: That was a nice little story. Those were some good times in the early days.
GG: I'm definately hanging on to this. It could be handy someday.