Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to another episode of "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"! We're the major reason NASA is trying to colonize other planets! Now, the only SSSer who doesn't have a sex tape, it's the Great Saiyaman!

(We return back to the set, with Saiyaman and Voice in their usual spots.)

Saiyaman: Kinda makes me feel left out...hello, and welcome to another exciting episode! Before we get started, I'd like to do something.

Voice: This involves keeping your clothes on, right?

Saiyaman: Of course. You see, since we've managed to get all the way to the eleventh episode, this can only mean one thing: that we have a lot of dedicated fans out there! So, I just want to say thank you to all the people who have competed, those who will compete and those who just watch the show! Thanks, guys! We couldn't have come this far without you!

Voice: Wow, that was really nice of you.

Saiyaman: Isn't it, though? But now, we must now proceed with the show and here's today's contestant, Kill'em!

(Kill'em enters, shakes hands with Saiyaman and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Thanks for coming today, Kill'em.

Kill'em: No prob.

Saiyaman: Tell us a little about yourself.

Kill'em: Well, I've actually been to this place before, but in...a disguise! Muahahahah!

Voice: Do you actually read these applications before you let these people on the show?

Saiyaman: Oh, hush. So, you know how to play?

Kill'em: Yeah, I answer some questions and fight some guys.

Saiyaman: Correct. This week's prize is the complete CD collection of the Beatles!

Kill'em: ...who are the Beatles?

Saiyaman: Sigh...never mind. Let's play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(The lights dim and dramatic music plays.)

Saiyaman: Once again, we start off with Knowledge! All set?

Kill'em: You betcha!

Saiyaman: What was MST3K's last season?

Kill'em: Season Ten.

Voice: Where can penquins be found?

Kill'em: The South Pole.

Saiyaman: What is the catch phrase of Riff from "Sluggy Freelance"?

Kill'em: It's "Let me check my notes."

Voice: Who was the winner of match #54?

Kill'em: I don't think they ever figured that one out.

Saiyaman: Who was the latest fighter to be accepted into the Stadium?

Kill'em: Dr. Mario.

Voice: What is the longest time a person can spend in arctic waters?

Kill'em: About three minutes.

TIME!

Saiyaman: Congratulations, you're passed onward to Creativity! Your problem is this: you haven't updated in weeks and the fans are getting restless! What do you do?

Kill'em: Run like a scared rabbit and lie like a rug if I'm caught?

Saiyaman: Well...

Voice: Judges?

Judges: Not the best behavior, but it does sound like something most leaders do nowadays. He's good.

Saiyaman: Okay then, head off to the arena!

(Kill'em heads toward the arena.)

Saiyaman: As we all know by know, our contestant must live three rounds with only two lives. Let's view that moveset.

  • B= Kill Shot: Lobs exploding skull at opponent.
  • Forward B = Death Dash: Fox Illusion except can charge
  • Down B = Eat Death: Peach's vegetable attack except picks up and throws skulls.Whole skeleton is instant K.O.
  • Up B = Mass Death: Charge, then launches off of ground, creating ripple shockwave where left ground.

    Voice: Boy's got a real thing for death, doesn't he?

    Saiyaman: Maybe he's a necromancer. Anywho, the opponents are Wario, Jigglypuff and Roy. The arena is Final Destination and his initals are KM. Now, let's get going!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Ladies and germs...

    Voice: Boys and girls...

    Saiyaman: Creatures of all species...

    Voice: SSS is bringing back yet again...

    Saiyaman: THE MAN WHO LORDS OVER THE RANDOM SECTION, SAIYAMAN!

    Voice: THE REALLY UNDERATED VOICE!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: And now, for the thousands in attendance...

    Voice: And for the dairy workers of America...

    Saiyaman: FIGHT! FOR EVERLASTING PEACE!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: First into the arena is Jigglypuff!

    Jigglypuff: (Translated from Pokemon speak.) ACK! What's going on? What am I doing here? It's been too long! I've forgotten what to do in this situation! What do I do? I surrender!

    Everyone there: ...

    Saiyaman: Well...this looks like an easy victory. Kill'em starts off with the Kill Shot! Jigglypuff is hit, but that blow musta knocked her fighting sense back, as she attacks with Rollout!

    Voice: Kill'em hops over the Rollout and tries the Eat Death move, hitting Jigglypuff with another skull! Jigglypuff backtracks to Kill'em and hits with Pound!

    Saiyaman: Kill'em comes back with a quick kick and a throw! As Jigglypuff flies to the right, Kill'em charges and release a Death Dash, striking again!

    Voice: It's obvious that Kill'em has got Jigglypuff on the run, bashing her with a bevy of punches! Jigglypuff tries that weak old Sing attack, but Kill'em just sidesteps that and uses the Kill Shot again!

    Saiyaman: Jigglypuff connects with Pound again, but Kill'em uses the airtime to land a kick on her! Jigglypuff manages two or three more punches, but Kill'em toys with her with a downward toss and a good low Smash!

    KM: 22% J: 102%

    Voice: The torture continues with more punching, but Kill'em finally shows some mercy by Smashing her out of the arena! Now, Wario leaps into the arena and hits Kill'em with the Body Slam!

    Saiyaman: Kill'em doesn't take kindly to that, attacking with his Eat Death move, which connects! He then throws Wario upward, but Wario uses that to Ground Pound him!

    Voice: Wario tries using the Dragon Hat, but Kill'em puts up his shield to block and counters with a Smash!

    Saiyaman: Wario gets back up and hits Kill'em with a running attack! He tries to throw Kill'em, but Kill'em rolled away from that and used his Mass Death move, using the shockwaves to attack Wario!

    Voice: Wario comes back with a air assault, smacking Kill'em while he was coming down! Kill'em takes a hard landing, but gets back up and uses the Kill Shot!

    KM: 66% W: 49%

    Saiyaman: Wario tries a running attack again, but Kill'em dodges! Wario manages to get a Super Jump Punch on him, but Kill'em uses an upward Smash on him!

    Voice: Wario recovers from his fall and throws Kill'em, sending him off the edge, but Kill'em returns with a double jump! Kill'em then gets his revenge with a Death Dash and a upward throw!

    Saiyaman: Kill'em decides it's time to end it by using a good throw! Wario goes over the edge, but he can't quite pull off a jump back and goes over the edge!

    Voice: Next up is Roy! He starts off the fight with his Dancing Blade, but Kill'em runs away from that, doubles back and hits Roy with a running attack!

    Saiyaman: Roy gets back up and restrikes with the Blazer!

    KL: 101% Roy: 10%

    Voice: Roy is preparing his Flare Blade and powers it up to full! With one mighty swing, Kill'em is sending flying into the distance!

    Saiyaman: Ah, but here he comes back on the platform! He sure ain't happy with Roy, smacking him with a few punches and a throw!

    Voice: Roy gets up from that throw and Kill'em charges and attacks, but Roy just Counters away his attack!

    Saiyaman: Kill'em fires off a Kill Shot, but Roy Counters that too! Kill'em takes advantage by dashing at Roy while he was busy Countering and rams him with a running attack!

    Voice: Roy begins stabbing with his sword, getting in a few blows on Kill'em! Kill'em hops back and strikes with a brief Death Dash! He then strikes Roy with a downward Smash!

    Saiyaman: Roy retaliates with by leaping and swinging downward at Kill'em, connecting with that blow! Kill'em tries a Smash, but Roy rolls away from it!

    KL: 28% Roy: 54%

    Voice: Kill'em goes into a projectile assult, using the Eat Death, then the Kill Shot! Roy blocks the Eat Death, but gets hit by the Kill Shot!

    Saiyaman: Roy moves in with the Dancing Blade, scoring two hits! Kill'em fights back using several punches and a throw! He then Smashes Roy over the edge!

    Voice: Roy manages to leap back onto the platform and uses Blazer on Kill'em! Kill'em kicks him and throws him off the platform!

    Saiyaman: As Roy tries to come back, Kill'em hits him with the Eat Death move, knocking Roy down, so he can't come back! It's over!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...KILL'EM!

    Saiyaman: I'm surprised he didn't get the instant kill move.

    Kill'em: Hold that thought. (Repreforms Eat Death, pulling out the instant KO skeleton.) Figures.

    Voice: Let's go the blue screen...

    (The blue screen appears again.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required.You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: Goodnight, everyone! This is the Voice, hoping you can find the meaning of life!

    Saiyaman: Later, everyone!

    Kill'em: There's a meaning to life?

    (Fade out.)