Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Male voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", packing more heat than your grandma on bingo night! Yes, I'm not the Voice, but you're about to see who I am!

(Zounds, it's the usual set, but this time, a Megaman recolor is on the set instead of Saiyaman.)

Guy: Hey there, folks, welcome to another exciting episode! You may know me, you may not, but the name's 175. I've been working on the links section ever since the revamp on the Random section. Well, it's time to introduce our temporary co-host, Ashton Anchors and his two dragons, Gyoro and Ururun!

(A guy with two dragons heads that are jutting from his back walks in and sits down.)

175: Thanks for being on the show, Ashton.

Ashton: No prob, thought I doubt very many people will know what game I'm from.

175: Doesn't matter to me.

Ashton: Yeah. So, where are the regular hosts? I'd have thought at least the Voice would be here today.

175: The Voice had some vacation days coming up, so he decided to take 'em. As for Saiyaman, I'm afraid he's dying.

Ashton: DYING?

175: Yes, the slow, lingering death of marriage. He and Amber were married on the 17th.

Gyoro and Ururun: (growl in disgust.)

Ashton: Dying...right...hey, wait, couldn't one of the SP's do this show?

175: Like they actually care what we do down here? They don't even watch this show, for cryin' out loud.

Ashton: Ah, good point. So, who's our contestant today?

175: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Our contestant today is Machamp!

(Machamp walks onstage and sits down.)

175: Thanks for being on the show, Machamp.

Machamp: No prob.

Ashton: I think this is the other reason Voice didn't want to be on the show.

Machamp: Yup.

175: So, tell the audience a little about yourself, Machamp.

Machamp: Well, much like Goku did in Dragonball, I've been travelling the world, honing my skills.

175: Seems to be a popular job among fighters.

Ashton: Say, what is our prize this week?

175: Today, Machamp is playing for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Machamp: Really?

175: (Holds up a lottery ticket.) ...assuming the winning numbers this week are 25-12-7-48-30-70.

Machamp: I should've known it was too good to be true.

175: Freak chance is better than no chance. Now, let's play...ah, skip it, you already know.

(The lights dim with the usual dramatic music.)

175: As par tradition, we start with Knowledge! Are you ready?

Machamp: You bet!

Ashton: What is the maximum number of Zenny you can in win in the World Tournament in Dragon Ball Z: Budokai?

Machamp: 50,000.

175: What do you get if you get all 130 emblems in Sonic Adventure DX?

Machamp: You can play as Metal Sonic.

Ashton: How do you unlock Young Link in SSBM?

Machamp: Beat Classic mode with ten different fighters.

175: How many Gamera movies have been shown on MST3K?

Machamp: Four, I think.

Ashton: What creature turns to stone when it see its reflection?

Machamp: Lawyers. Wait, I mean Medusa.

175: How many seasons were there of Babylon 5?

Machamp: Just five.

TIME!!

175: You passed! Onward to Creativity. Actually, Ashton here has brought ourproblem for today.

Ashton: Yeah. You know any way to get me un-possessed by these dragons? I mean, I like 'em, but it's like having big brother around all the time.

Gyoro and Ururun: (Start poking at Ashton's head.)

Ashton: Hey! Ow! Cut that out!

Gyoro and Ururun: (Start talking in dragon.)

175: What'd they say?

Ashton: They say they're mad at me for that comment.

Machamp: Can you blame them?

175: So, can you get them off his back?

Machamp: Nope, sorry about that.

175: Well, I'm sorry. You are the weakest link, goodbye!

Machamp: Hmph.

175: All right, we'll call that one good since that was too hard anyways. Head for the arena.

Machamp: All right! (Heads to the arena.)

175: The rules are the same as always, as our contestant has but two lives to beat three foes. Let's review that moveset...

  • B: Mega punch: (DK's Giant Punch)
  • B> Cross Chop: Steps forward and swings arms in a karate chop style.
  • B^ Seismic Toss: (Capt. Falcon's Falcon Dive, but throws opponent down instead of left or right.)
  • B v: Revenge: The higher damage Machamp has, the more power this move has. It's a punch.

    Ashton: (still getting poked by Gyoro and Ururun.) C'mon, guys, stop it! That's enough! Down!

    175: All right, you two, that's enough! Cut it out, so we can get on with the show!

    Gyoro and Ururun: (Use Dragon Breath on 175.)

    175: (Both burnt and frozen.) Ow...

    Ashton: Hey, that worked! Thanks!

    175: That's me, the human punching bag.

    Ashton: Today, Machamp wishes to fight Mewtwo, the Ice Climbers and Bowser. Given the lack of dead foes, the arena will be Final Destination. His battle initals are MA.

    175: I think that ugly picture of the arena scared people away from chosing dead opponents. Well, Machamp is going up against Mewtwo first and both are in the arena, so let's get started!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    175: Ladies and gentlemen...

    Ashton: Expelians and Nedians...

    175: SSS is hear again to bring you...

    Ashton: THE UNLUCKIEST MAN IN THE UNIVERSE, ASHTON ANCHORS!

    175: THE MAN WHO BRINGS YOU THOSE LINKS, 175!

    Gyoro and Ururn: (Something in dragon speak.)

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    175: Now, for the fifty thousand in attendance...

    Ashton: And for the fifty thousand and one watching worldwide...

    175: GET DOWN AND DISCO!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    175: Machamp rushes in and starts things off with a Cross Chop! Mewtwo fights back with his Disable and a Smash!

    Ashton: Machamp gets back and hits with a running attack! Mewtwo does a low attack, but Machamp gets him with Seismic Toss!

    175: Mewtwo powers up his Shadow Ball while Machamp arms his Mega Punch! Both moves finish charging, then they resume combat, attacking with some basic moves, but Machamp squeezes in a low Smash!

    Ashton: Mewtwo connects with that Shadow Ball, but Machamp strikes with a leaping attack! Mewtwo flips him around with Confusion!

    175: Machamp hits with a Smash, then strikes again with a downward air attack! Mewtwo tries his Disable, but Machamp shields against the attack!

    MA: 51% Mtw: 72%

    Ashton: Machamp tosses Mewtwo, but Mewtwo leaps back and swings a mid-air attack! Machamp rolls back and avoids the blow!

    175: Machamp uses that Mega Punch he's been saving up and strikes Mewtwo dead on! Mewtwo is going, going, GONE!

    Ashton: Now, the Ice Climbers have hopped into the arena! They strike with their Squall Hammer, hitting multiple times!

    175: Machamp throws Nana away, then attacks Popo with several powerful punches! Popo tries using the Blizzard to get away, but that proves ineffective!

    Ashton: Nana runs back and hits Machamp, allowing Popo to get away! That's teamwork! Why can't you guys act like that?

    Gyoro and Ururun: (start poking Ashton's head again.)

    175: Anyways, Machamp powers up a Mega Punch, but rolls away to avoid an Ice Shot from Popo and Nana! He's still hit, but at least he has a partial charge!

    Ashton: (Ignoring Gyoro and Ururun.) Popo and Nana rush in and start thomping on Machamp with their hammers! Machamp leaps over and hits them with his Revenge move, striking for some massive damage!

    175: The Ice Climbers strike back with their Blizzard move, but Machamp grabs Popo and throws him!

    MA: 97% IC: 68%

    Gyoro and Ururun: (Give up and stop poking Ashton.)

    Ashton: The Ice Climbers rejoin and the two double-Smash Machamp, sending flying across the arena! He's practically gone, but he juuuuuust manages to come back with the Seismic Toss!

    175: I don't know Machamp can keep holding on, but he does and slams both the Ice Climbers, then up-Smashes Popo! That sends him out, ending the Ice Climber's turn!

    Ashton: That just leaves tonight's heavyweight: Bowser! A quick firebreath starts off the match in Bowser's favor, but Machamp leaps out of the flames, over him and hits him in the back!

    175: Bowser snags Machamp with the Koopa Claw, then tosses him away! Machamp manages to come back, but a good Smash from Bowser sends him to the final frontier!

    Ashton: Machamp returns, looking a little mad. He Meteor Smashes Bowser in return and pumps up his Mega Punch!

    175: The invincibility wears off, though, and Bowser wastes no time with the Bowser Bomb, scoring a hit! Machamp strikes him with Seismic Toss, then throws him to the right!

    Ashton: Bowser runs back and tries a running attack, but Machamp shields against the blow and backhands Bowser in return! Bowser hops up and swipes at Machamp, scoring a hit!

    MA: 23%D1 Bw: 48%

    175: Machamp tosses Bowser upward, then leaps up and smacks him down again! Bowser returns that favor with an upward Smash!

    Ashton: Machamp hits Bowser on the way down with Revenge, but it only hits for minor damage due to Machamp's low damage percentage. However, it does give Machamp the time he needs to his with the Mega Punch!

    175: Bowser goes flying, but uses a Whirling Fortress to get back in the arena! Machamp greets him with a low Smash!

    Ashton: Following that up a Meteor Smash, Bowser is knocked out of the arena!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...MACHAMP!

    Machamp: All right! All that training has paid off!

    175: That's good to hear. Let's go to the blue screen.

    (Nothing happens.)

    175: I said, "Let's go to the blue screen"!

    (The blue screen appears again.)

    175: Thank you.

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required.You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    175: So long, everyone! Saiyaman will be back next time, I'm afraid!

    Ashton: Bye!

    Gyoro and Ururun: (More dragon talk.)

    Machamp: You know, a good plastic surgeon could do wonders about those dragons...

    (Fade out.)