Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", the show that proves a lot of people must have time on their hands to keep sending applications! Now, a man who proves that if he can get a job here, just imagine your possibilites, it's the Great Saiyaman!

(Here we go, back to the set.)

Saiyaman: Have you finished with all the insulting intros, Voice?

Voice: Just about.

Saiyaman: Yeah, that's a comfort. Welcome back, everyone. We hope you've been enjoying the episodes so far.

Voice: You think we'd have kept producing them if they didn't like them?

Saiyaman: Yeah, probably. Anyways, it's time to get the show going with our contestant, Chaos Deviot!

(Chaos Deviot enters and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Thanks for being on the show, Deviot.

Chaos Deviot: No prob.

Saiyaman: Tell us a little about yourself.

Chaos Deviot: I am a powerful warrior, one of the strongest in the universe!

Voice: That's what they all say, buckwheat.

Chaos Deviot: Watch it, dorky.

Saiyaman: Hey, hey, save that for the arena.

Voice: So, what's the prize this time?

Saiyaman: Today, our prize is this handy fangirl translator, useful for when you can't understand a word they're saying.

Chaos Deviot: Don't know when I'm ever gonna use that, but okay.

Saiyaman: Now, it's time to play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(As usual, the lights dim with a little dramatic music.)

Saiyaman: Once again, we start with Knowledge! All set?

Chaos Deviot: Piece of cake.

Voice: Name all of the Ninja Turtles.

Chaos Deviot: Leonardo, Donatello, Rapheal and Michellangelo.

Saiyaman: Who was the winner of Match #37?

Chaos Deviot: Kirby.

Voice: What's the approximate strength of Billy the Trout as a weapon?

Chaos Deviot: Somewhere between the Beam Sword and the Home-Run Bat.

Saiyaman: Who is the host of the NPR show "Wait, Wait -- Don't Tell Me"?

Chaos Deviot: Peter Sagal.

Voice: What is the least commonly used form of temperature scale?

Chaos Deviot: The Kelvin scale.

Saiyaman: Will Capcom ever be consistent with their plot lines?

Chaos Deviot: Probably not.

TIME!!

Saiyaman: All right, we now move on to Creativity! Your challenge is this: you've managed to summon a demon from the pits of Hell. What do you do?

Voice: I wish you'd stop getting this ideas from random things you read on the Internet.

Saiyaman: If it annoys you so much, why don't you think it up for next time?

Voice: All right, I will.

Chaos Deviot: Hmm...to solve that problem, I guess I'd have to either blows it head off or get it drunk. Either way, I doubt it can cause too much trouble once you know how to deal with it.

Saiyaman: Well, that doesn't sound too bad. Head over to the arena.

(Chaos Deviot heads into the arena.)

Saiyaman: As I'm sure you all know by now, our contestant must win three fights with just two lives and no items. His initals are CD. Here's the moveset...

  • Up B: Energy Uppercut (energy-like, much more powerful than Mario's, like Roy's, really)
  • Forward B: Chaos Bomb (much stronger, but no status effects. Equal to PK Flash power)
  • B: Chaotic Explosion (He explodes, doing 10% Damage to himself, but 30% to his enemy. Same strength as ONE Bob-omb.)
  • Down B: Earthquake (he strikes the ground, doing damage on all connected parts of where he is)

    Saiyaman: Chaos Deviot must really have wanted a challenge, for his opponents - remember, he picked these himself - are none other than Giga Bowser, Master Hand and Crazy Hand!

    Voice: Wow, he's brave...or crazy.

    Saiyaman: Well, we did say that contestants could pick any fighter at SSS and that includes those three. The arena is Final Destiation, manly 'cause no other place can hold those guys. Also, the hands will only have 250 HP. First up is Master Hand and Chaos Deviot is already in the arena, so it's time to start!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemen...

    Voice: Boys and girls...

    Saiyaman: Koopa Troops and Robot Masters...

    Voice: SSS is wasting your time with...

    Saiyaman: THE SAME GUY AS LAST TIME, SAIYAMAN!

    Voice: THE CONSISTENT NARRATING VOICE, THE VOICE!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: And now, for the sixty-nine thousand in attendance...

    Voice: And for the seventy-three million watching worldwide...

    Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Voice: Chaos Deviot starts off by leaping at Master Hand and kicking him! Master Hand comes back by sweeping across the arena floor, but Chaos Deviot shields against the blow!

    Saiyaman: Chaos Deviot uses his upward-Smash on Master Hand and an Energy Uppercute, but Master Hand fires off a missile, connecting with the decending fighter!

    Voice: Master Hand tries to poke Chaos Deviot, but he misses, leaving him open to a Chaotic Explosion! Chaos Deviot follows up with a quick air attack!

    Saiyaman: Master Hand flings himself upward and comes down on Chaos Deviot with his drilling attack! Chaos Deviot gets back up and Smashes Master Hand while he's on the ground!

    Voice: Master Hand is a slow-mover, so Chaos Deviot pulls out another leaping attack on him before Master Hand can react! Master Hand flings himself into the background and charges at Chaos Deviot, but Chaos Deviot dodges the blow!

    Saiyaman: That gives Chaos Deviot time which he uses to land another attack, but Master Hand grabs him and slams him onto the arena floor!

    Voice: Chaos Deviot fires off an Energy Bomb at Master Hand! Master Hand comes back with his missile attack, but Chaos Deviot leaps over it!

    CD: 61% MH: 132 HP

    Saiyaman: Master Hand comes back with a thrusting punch from the background, which is avoided by Chaos Deviot, who attacks with an Energy Uppercut!

    Voice: Chaos Deviot uses his upward-Smash on Master Hand, but Master Hand rockets off into the background, knocking Chaos Deviot down with his upward thrust! Luckily, Chaos Deviot gets up in time to avoid his charge in, but fails to dodge his return onto the platform!

    Saiyaman: Chaos Deviot pulls out an Earthquake while Master Hand was still on the ground, doing some damange, then connects with a Energy Bomb as Master Hand floats back into position! Master Hand sweeps across the arena, but Chaos Deviot leaps over the hand!

    Voice: Master Hand gets on his two fingers and walks across the arena, but Chaos Deviot leaps over him and strikes him from behind! He then hits with a Chaotic Explosion!

    Saiyaman: Chaos Deviot uses his Meteor Smash on Master Hand, who grabs him, but Chaos Deviot manages to shake free this time and up-Smashes in response!

    Voice: Master Hand flings himself downward on Chaos Deviot, but he manages to get away from the attack and Smashes Master Hand! Master Hand comes back by sweeping across the arena, striking Chaos Deviot!

    Saiyaman: Chaos Deviot leaps up and double-kicks Master Hand! Master Hand zooms down and gives Chaos Deviot a good poking in response!

    CD: 102% MH: 45 HP

    Voice: Chaos Devoit throws an Energy Bomb at Master Hand, but Master Hand comes back by firing three missiles! The attacks hit, leaving both fighters weakened!

    Saiyaman: Master Hand tries walking across the arena again, but Chaos Deviot leaps straight at him and slams him with his Meteor Smash! Another mid-air kick and Master Hand goes flying off into the background!

    Voice: Now, here comes Crazy Hand! He quickly grabs Chaos Deviot, who breaks free, but now has a flower on his head! Chaos Deviot quickly shakes off the flower and up-Smashes Crazy Hand!

    Saiyaman: Crazy Hand hovers for a bit, then starts dropping those black bomb things! Chaos Deviot gets nicked by one, but stays out of the way of the others and hits with an Energy Uppercut once the bombs stop dropping!

    Voice: Chaos Deviot leaps up and punches Crazy Hand, but Crazy Hand flops on the arena floor and does that attack where he flops around like a dead fish! Chaos Deviot gets knocked away by the move, but pulls off an Earthquake on the grounded Crazy Hand!

    Saiyaman: Crazy Hand flings himself into the background and flies forward! Chaos Deviot tries to dodge, but can't get out of the way in time and is knocked into oblivion!

    Voice: Chaos Deviot returns on the platform, but Crazy Hand fires his missiles at him! Chaos Deviot leaps through them with his invicibility and Meteor-Smashes Crazy Hand, then leaps up and punches him!

    Saiyaman: The invincibility wears off, but Crazy Hand slams down on Chaos Deviot! Luckily for him, the slam flings him away from the edge, giving him time to come back and use an Energy Uppercut on Crazy Hand!

    Voice: Chaos Deviot hops up and punches Crazy Hand twice, but Crazy Hand rockets up and lands with his drill move! Chaos Deviot manages to roll away, then Smashes Crazy Hand once the drilling stops!

    Saiyaman: Crazy Hand starts crawling across the arena, but that's a easy double-jump for Chaos Deviot, who throws an Energy Bomb after he leaps over the hand, then uses Chaotic Explosion as it floats back into position!

    CD: 10%D1 CH: 145 HP

    Voice: Crazy Hand comes in for a poke, but Chaos Deviot shields! However, the shield breaks under the poke power, stunning Chaos Deviot! Crazy Hand flings himself into the background and smacks Chaos Deviot upward!

    Saiyaman: Chaos Deviot takes a rough landing, then bounds upward and kicks Crazy Hand! Crazy Hand grabs at him, but Chaos Deviot dodges and retaliates with his Energy Bomb!

    Voice: Chaos Deviot up-Smashes Crazy Hand! Crazy Hand tries to drop some more bombs on Chaos Deviot, but he just runs away from the move, leaps up and punches Crazy Hand!

    Saiyaman: Crazy Hand gets on his fingers and walks across the arena! Chaos Deviot is too close to dodge and gets knocked back across the arena!

    Voice: Crazy Hand tries firing some missiles, but Chaos Deviot manages to get up in time and dodges them! He then runs over to Crazy Hand and Meteor-Smashes him!

    Saiyaman: Chaos Deviot leaps up and kicks Crazy Hand, just as Crazy Hand grabs him! Chaos Deviot breaks free, then fires an Energy Bomb!

    Voice: Crazy Hand flops on the ground and begins to flop around again! The suddenness of it knock Chaos Deviot backwards, but he manages to pull out an Earthquake and Chaotic Explosion on Crazy Hand!

    Saiyaman: Crazy Hand flings into the background and flies forward to jab with his finger, but Chaos Deviot leaps over the attack, then comes down and smacks Crazy Hand, inflicting enough damage to beat him!

    Voice: This finally brings us to Giga Bowser! After he clomps down on the arena, he slashes at Chaos Deviot, who backs away and avoids the attack! Giga Bowser uses his Fire Breath, scoring Chaos Deviot!

    Saiyaman: Chaos Deviot runs forward and smacks Giga Bowser with a running attack! Giga Bowser counter-attacks with the Whirling Fortress, which freezes Chaos Deviot! Using that to his advantage, Giga Bowser slashes at him!

    CD: 98%D1 GB: 11%

    Voice: Chaos Deviot breaks free, but Giga Bowser pulls out his Bowser Bomb! There's no way that Chaos Deviot can dodge in time and he goes flying out of the top of the arena!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...GIGA BOWSER!

    Saiyaman: Sorry about your loss, man.

    Chaos Deviot: Bah, I'll just have to get even better for next time!

    Saiyaman: That's the spirit! Let's review the application rules...

    (The blue screen appears again.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required. You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: Good night, everyone! This is the Voice, wondering just when Vile will come back in the Megaman X games

    Saiyaman: Good night!

    Chaos Deviot: X? Where? I'll tear him apart!

    (Fade out.)