Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", the only thing that keeps the Random Section going! Even though Donald Trump goes around firing people whenever he hears me say it, hise's your host, the Great Saiyaman!

(Once again, we return to the set.)

Saiyaman: Luckily, Donald Trump doesn't watch this show. Welcome back, everyone!

Voice: So, the whole site change is done now, eh? What do you think of it?

Saiyaman: I like it. It makes the place look less drab.

Voice: And yet, they still can't get fix those vending machines down the hall. Why?

Saiyaman: Who knows? Now, let's welcome today's contestant, Deven711!

(Deven711 walks out and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Thanks for being on the show, Deven.

Deven: My pleasure.

Voice: Tell us a little about yourself.

Deven: Well, I'm just a normal person...

Voice: If you came hise, you're not normal.

Deven: As I was saying, I love to surf the web and hang around forums.

Saiyaman: This time, the prize today is a replica of Squall's Gunblade from Final Fantasy VIII!

Deven: Oh, neat! How'd you get Squall to let you replicate his blade?

Voice: Nothing a little convincing wouldn't do. And by "convincing", we mean "paying him".

Saiyaman: Money makes the world go round. Now, it's time to play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(Boing, the lights dim and mild dramatic music plays.)

Saiyaman: Up first is Knowledge! All set?

Deven: Sure am!

Voice: What is the designation number of Dr. Eggman's Phi robot?

Deven: E-121.

Saiyaman: What is the name of the that annoying dieting craze going around?

Deven: The Atkins diet.

Voice: What is currently the most popular online game?

Deven: Counterstrike.

Saiyaman: How many exits are there in Super Mario World?

Deven: Ninty-six.

Voice: How many fighters were in Match #27?

Deven: It was supposed to be two, but it turned into four.

Saiyaman: How many words is a picture worth?

Deven: A thousand.

TIME!!

Saiyaman: That leads up to Creativity! Today's problems was brought in by Voice, who was sick of me pulling the problems off things I read at random on the Internet. What's the problem today, Voice?

Voice: It's this: your car's engine has broken down and you've got to get to work on time. What do you do?

Deven: I'd run.

Voice: Run? Do you even know how far that distance could be?

Deven: I can run fast.

Saiyaman: All righty, that sounds good. Head off to the arena!

(Deven leaves for the arena.)

Saiyaman: As par tradition, it's a two-life, three-opponent setup with no items. here's that moveset...

  • B: Green Laser (Like Fox's Laser, but I fire a green one with my hands.)
  • B>: D Punch (Like DK's punch, I punch them into the ground.)
  • B Up: Super Rocket (Like the Fire Fox, except green lasers surround me instead of fire.)
  • B Down: Power Landing (Like the Ground Pound move, but I land on my feet and create green shockwaves in the form of a D.)

    Saiyaman: The opponents for Deven are Link, Megaman and Bowser. His initals are DV. I can see that Deven has hopped into the arena and Link has just teleported in, so let's get this fight underway!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemen...

    Voice: Boys and girls...

    Saiyaman: People who like Teen Titans...

    Voice: SSS is proud to bring you...

    Saiyaman: THE AMAZING SPIDER...I MEAN, SAIYAMAN!

    Voice: THE MASTER OF INVISIBILITY, VOICE!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: And now, for the twenty-thousand in attendance...

    Voice: And for the even larger number of people that are probably recording this to watch later...

    Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Both fighters run foward! Link takes a swing at Deven, but he leaps over him and attacks from behind!

    Voice: Link tries to grab Deven, but he dodges and moves in to land a few punches! He gets in several blows, but Link manages to low-Smash his away!

    Saiyaman: Deven leaps back up and attacks with the Power Landing! Link rolls away, but takes a few hits from the shockwaves! He gets back up and connects with a Boomerang throw!

    Voice: Deven fires several Green Lasers at the approaching Link, then shields against his running attack! He then comes back with an upward Smash! Link tries using this to land on his with an attack, but he rolls away from his attack!

    Saiyaman: Deven leaps up from his roll and comes down on Link with a mid-air attack! Link is hit, but pulls out a Bomb and throws it at Deven, who gets hit by it!

    Voice: Deven grabs Link, then throws him! As he flies through the air, he fires several Green Lasers at him! Link hits the ground hard, but gets back up and fires his bow, but Deven leaps over the arrow!

    Saiyaman: Link leaps in close and pulls out a Spin Attack, knocking Deven away before he can react! He gets back up and hits Link with a running attack, but he grabs his and throws his downward!

    Voice: Link follows that up with jabbing his with his sword, but Deven gets back up and Smahes him away! he then leaps up and comes down on him with the Power Landing, knocking Link even farthis back!

    DV: 43% L: 85%

    Saiyaman: Deven runs up to Link and his him with an uncharged D Punch! Link gets knocked down, but gets back up and begins to stab at Deven repeatedly! Deven manages to pull back, then runs forward and throws Link!

    Voice: Link gets up and pulls out a Bomb and throws it! Deven shields, but forgets about the Bomb's explosion, dropping the shield prematurely and taking damage from the explosion!

    Saiyaman: Deven leaps at Link and comes down with a Meteor Smash, knocking Link into the air! Link lands, but Deven attacks him with a Smash attack, sending him off the edge! Link tries to leap back, but he can't make it and is OUT!

    Voice: Now, Megaman has entered the arena! He begins to charge the Mega Buster, but Deven fires several Green Lasers at him! However, they don't faze Megaman and he manages to fully charge the Mega Buster!

    Saiyaman: Megaman flies at Deven with the Mega Slide, but Deven leaps over him and slams down on him with the Power Landing! Megaman gets back up and low-Smahes Deven!

    Voice: Deven runs into Megaman with a running attack! Megaman shields against the blow, but Deven throws in some rapid punching and an upward-Smash, knocking Megaman into the air! Megaman comes down and slams into Deven with a kick attack!

    Saiyaman: Deven puhes himself up, then grabs Megaman, attacks him a few times, then throws him away! Megaman manages to recover from the toss, then dashes toward Deven and hits his with a running attack!

    DV: 93% MM: 38%

    Voice: Megaman fires his Mega Buster, but Deven pulls off a mid-air dodge move and avoids the shot! He then grabs Megaman, throws him up, leaps up and smacks him back down again!

    Saiyaman: Megaman pulls off a Mega Upper on Deven, but Deven Smahes him once they land on the ground! Megaman gets up and fires several Metal Blades at Deven, who gets hit by one, but manages to duck under the others!

    Voice: Deven quickly begins charing a D Punch, but Megaman charges at his with the Mega Slide! Deven rolls back to avoid the move, then low-Smahes Megaman back and continues charging the move!

    Saiyaman: Deven manages to fully charge the move as Megaman hits his with the Mega Slide! Deven gets back up, turns to face Megaman and slams him into the ground with the D Punch! Megaman gets back up and kicks Deven!

    Voice: Deven and Megaman punch each other for a bit, but Megaman throws in a Smash, knocking Deven off the platform! Deven tries coming back and makes it with the Super Rocket, hitting Megaman!

    DV: 105% MM: 84%

    Saiyaman: Megaman grabs Deven and throws his off once again! Deven doesn't even have time to recover before he gets hurtled right out!

    Voice: Deven comes back on the platform and immediately takes chase after Megaman! He unleashes a nice attack on him with several kicks, then gives him a good Smash over the edge! Megaman tries to come back, but he falls off and dies!

    Saiyaman: Up now is Bowser, who starts things off with his Fire Breath! Deven leaps back from the attack and counters with several Green Lasers!

    Voice: Bowser charges at Deven, who jumps over Bowser, but Bowser turns around and slahes with the Koopa Claw! Deven is caught by Bowser, but breaks free and Smashes Bowser!

    Saiyaman: Bowser picks himself up and tries a Bowser Bomb, but Deven just rolls away from the move and slams through Bowser with the Super Rocket! Bowser slahes at Deven for a bit, then Deven retaliates with a throw!

    Voice: Bowser slams into Deven with a running attack! Deven up-Smahes Bowser, then runs to the other end of the field and begins charging the D Punch!

    DV: 17%D1 B: 29%

    Saiyaman: Bowser goes in for a Smash, but Deven shields against the blow, then low-Smashes Bowser! Bowser gets back up and goes in for a Fire Breath, seriously burning Deven!

    Voice: Deven slams into Bowser with a running attack, then leaps up and comes down on him with the Power Landing! Bowser gets up as Deven runs at him, but he manages to grab Deven and throws him down!

    Saiyaman: Bowser tries to follow up that with a Smash, but Deven rolls back and slams Bowser with the D Punch! As Bowser gets back up, Deven powers up a low-Smash and smacks Bowser with it!

    Voice: Deven leaps after Bowser and gets him with a Meteor attack, knocking Bowser upward! However, Bowser uses the hangtime to land a Bowser Bomb on Deven!

    Saiyaman: Deven Smashes Bowser right over the edge of the arena! Bowser attemps to come back with the Whirling Fortress, but it's too little, too late and he goes down!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...DEVEN!

    Deven: Woo-hoo! Yeah! Hurray!

    Saiyaman: Well, he's happy. Let's go over the application rules...

    (A red screen appears because I was getting a bit tired of blue.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required.You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: Well, everyone, this the the Voice, heading off to the beach!

    Saiyaman: Later, guys!

    Deven: Bye-bye!

    (Fade out.)