Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", the show that emerged from a smoking crater! And now, he bet me a dollar that I couldn't say his name backwards, the Namayias Taerg!

(Hey, we're back on the set.)

Saiyaman: Hi folks, welcome back.

Voice: I do believe you owe me a dollar now.

Saiyaman: All right, you won it. You've got some great diction. (Flies up to Voice's booth and tries to open the door.) Hey, how come the door is locked?

Voice: Uh, no reason. Just slip the dollar under my door.

Saiyaman: All right, Mr. Paranoid. (Does so and gets back in his seat.) Now, it's time to meet our contestant, Metal Man!

(Metal Man walks in and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Man, you're a big fella. Anyways, thanks for coming.

Metal Man: Hey, it's good to be here.

Voice: Tell us a little something about yourself.

Metal Man: I'm the leader of the Questers. I've also known VGW for many years before he gave me full command.

Saiyaman: Interesting. This week, our prize is courtesy of NERV HQ, allowing the winner to borrow an Eva for one weekend. This offer is void in Nevada and isn't for those who dislike the smell of blood. Also, NERV will not take responsibility for property destruction caused by said Eva.

Metal Man: Eh, I'm not too sure I want that.

Saiyaman: Your loss. Let's play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(Ah, the good ol' diming lights and dramatic music.)

Saiyaman: Now, we'll start off with Knowledge! All set?

Metal Man: Absolutely.

Voice: What's the theme song of Goemon's giant robot from "Legend of the Mystic Ninja"?

Metal Man: It's "I am Impact!".

Saiyaman: How many emblems are there in Sonic Heroes?

Metal Man: 120.

Voice: What is El Dorado?

Metal Man: Some legendary city made of gold.

Saiyaman: What has more caffinee: coffee or a soda?

Metal Man: Depends on the soda, but it's usually more.

Voice: How often does Old Faithful erupt?

Metal Man: Dunno.

Saiyaman: Which is more boring: watching paint dry or grass grow?

Metal Man: Drying paint.

TIME!!

Saiyaman: From here, we move on to Creativity! The problem this time around is this: your friend, made of ice, is in danger of melting! What do you do?

Metal Man: Did you get this idea from watching Frosty the Snowman?

Saiyaman: Yes, I did.

Metal Man: Well, in that sense, there's always the North Pole. Or the freezer as a last resort.

Saiyaman: Yeah, that's good. Head for the arena.

(Metal Man heads off to the arena.)

Saiyaman: The rules are unchanged. Three foes, two lives, no items. Here's the good ol' moveset...

  • Up B: Metal rockets straight up into the air, literally like a rocket. A whole lotta fire comes out of the boom of his boots, and spreads a little bit before instantly dissappearing. His right fist is straight up, in classic superhero pose. This move occasionally backfires, sending fire in all directions, and knocking a little damage into Metal.
  • Side B: Metal pulls a random weapon out of his bag of tricks, and throws it at the opponent. This includes a flaming 9-iron, a bowling ball, a rubber chicken, darts, a vase, a knife that freezes things, a large microwave that spews lasers, and a baseball bat.
  • Down B: Metal whips out the Deathmachine. It charges up for a second, then fires a large laser. The Deathmachine is a simple laser bazooka. The beam is blue.
  • B: DD44. Metal pulls out a silver pistol, and proceeds to empty its contents on the nearby enemy. He can fire it up to 8 times. The gun is extremely loud. If in close quarters, the motion of pulling out the gun will also whack the opponent.

    Saiyaman: The initals for Metal Man will be MN. His opponent choices are Megaman, VGW Man and a old fighter, Killer.

    Voice: Hey, is Killer going to have that big ol' sword of his?

    Saiyaman: Ultima X? Nope, don't think so. Anywho, Megaman is first in the arena and Metal Man is waiting, so let's get the ball rolling!

    ***Being Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemen...

    Voice: Boys and girls...

    Saiyaman: Species of flora and fauna...

    Voice: SSS is distracting you with...

    Saiyaman: THE EVER-LASTING HOST, SAIYAMAN!

    Voice: THE NOT-PARANOID VOICE!

    Saiyaman: Are so.

    Voice: Am not.

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: And now, for the eight-thousand in attendance...

    Voice: And for the twenty-thousand watching world-wide...

    Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Metal Man starts things off with his Deathmachine, but Megaman is able to duck under the blow and hit him with the Mega Slide! Metal Man grabs him and throws him into the ground!

    Voice: Megaman comes back with the Mega Upper, scoring a hit! Metal Man punches Megaman a bit, then hits him with a Smash attack, knocking him to the right!

    Saiyaman: Metal Man starts heading towards Megaman as Megaman gets back and starts charging the Mega Buster! Metal Man leaps towards him with a flying kick, but Megaman rolls back, only to get him by one of Metal Man's punches!

    Voice: Metal Man whips out his DD44 and fires it three times, the first one hitting and the rest shielded against! Megaman continues to charge the Mega Buster, finishing just before Metal Man slams into him with a running attack!

    Saiyaman: Metal Man presses his attack with several punches, but Megaman rolls away behind him and fires his Mega Buster, scoring a hit! Metal Man turns around and uses the DD44, hitting with not only the gun, but another three shots!

    Voice: Megaman takes the landing pretty rough, getting back up and trying to attack Metal Man with the Mega Slide, only to have it dodged by Metal Man's leap! Metal Man comes down on Megaman with a aireal attack and Smashes him!

    MN: 43% MM: 76%

    Saiyaman: Megaman returns the favor by grabbing him and punches him a bit, then tosses him to the right! Metal Man, who doesn't land very far due to his weight, wheels around and performs a low attack against Megaman!

    Voice: Megaman pulls back from Metal Man and fires a Thunder Beam, which connects! Metal Man whips out his Random Item attack and throws a vase at Megaman, who ducks under the attack!

    Saiyaman: Metal Man dashes toward Megaman, but Megaman hits him with a good punch! Metal Man grabs him, tosses him upward, then slams with an upward Smash!

    Voice: Megaman tries to hit Metal Man with an aireal attack, but Metal Man shields against the attack! Metal Man then Smashes Megaman, knocking him off the ledge! Megaman tries to come back, but doesn't make it!

    Saiyaman: Next into the arean is Killer! He starts things off with Fire 2, causing damage on Metal Man!

    Voice: Metal Man gets him from close range with his random item toss, hitting with a baseball bat, then starts punching him! Killer gets in a few kicks, then slurps him up with Eggify!

    Saiyaman: Metal Man quickly breaks free from the egg and smacks Killer with an aireal attack, but Killer gets back at him with an upward-Smash! Metal Man lands on his feet and whips out his Deathmachine, but Killer hits him before he can pull off the attack!

    Voice: Metal Man grabs Killer, then throws him into the ground and hits him with a low Smash! Killer rolls back and counters with a Fire 2, but Metal Man shields against the attack and strikes with his DD44!

    MN: 102% Ki: 41%

    Saiyaman: Killer leaps up for a Hip Drop, only to have Metal Man roll out of the way and get him with a Smash! Killer comes back with a running attack, but that's dodged by Metal Man!

    Voice: Hang on, that attack was only a distraction, as Killer wheels right around and Smash Metal Man while he's vunerable! Metal Man turns around and punches Killer a few times, then upward-Smashes him!

    Saiyaman: Killer takes advantage of his air time by attack with a mid-air attack on Metal Man, scoring multiple hits! Metal Man grabs Killer and throws him, then pulls out the Deathmachine and fires it before Killer can recover, hitting for some good damage!

    Voice: Killer is back on his feet now and heads towards Metal Man, who leaps up and attacks with an airial attack, only to have it shielded by Killer! Killer attacks with an upward attack, hitting, but Metal Man comes down on him with a kick!

    Saiyaman: Killer and Metal Man trade punches for a bit, ending with Killer throwing Metal Man to the left! Metal Man gets back up and tosses a ninja star, hitting Killer, who connects with Fire 2!

    Voice: Killer runs towards Metal Man, who does a low attack, but Killer leaps over it and hits with a Meteor Smash! Metal Man goes airborne, but comes back down and smacks Killer with a Smash!

    Saiyaman: Metal Man continues his assult by dashing toward Killer and hitting with a running attack! Killer tries an Eggify, but Metal Man rolls away from the attack!

    MN: 169% Ki: 101%

    Voice: Metal Man grabs Killer and throws him over the edge, but Killer manages to get back using Thief Punch! Killer tries another Hip Drop, but Metal Man leaps back and hits him with a Smash, knocking him out of the arena!

    Saiyaman: Here comes our final opponent, VGW! He starts off by preparing a Charge Beam, rolling away from Metal Man as he tries to interfere, then throwing him!

    Voice: Metal Man gets back on his feet and fires a few rounds from his DD44, scoring two hits and having the rest shielded against! VGW gets in close with Teleport, then uses a Super Jump Punch on Metal Man, creating a Fire Jump Punch and KOing Metal Man!

    Saiyaman: Metal Man comes back on the revival platform and dashes towards VGW, scoring a hit with a running attack while VGW was unaware! He then grabs VGW, hits him three times, then throws him into the ground!

    Voice: VGW gets back up, Teleports away and finishes charging the Charge Beam as Metal Man heads towards him! Metal Man tries a running attack, which is shielded against, then uses an upward Smash, which hits!

    Saiyaman: VGW responds to this with a Doctor Tornado, knocking Metal Man, then fires his Charge Shot! Metal Man is hit by the attack, but responds by hitting VGW with a 9-iron!

    Voice: VGW tries Teleporing next to Metal Man and attacking, but Metal Man is ready by leaping up and smacking VGW with an aireal attack! He then hits VGW with a low Smash, which is then responded to by VGW with a Smash!

    Saiyaman: VGW grabs Metal Man, but Metal Man breaks free and starts punching him! VGW counters with his own punch and tries another Doctor Tornado, but Metal Man rolls back and shoots his Deathmachine, hitting VGW!

    MN: 42%D1 VGW: 59%

    Voice: Both of the fighters leap towards each other and use a Meteor Smash, knocking both of them back down onto the platform! Metal Man is the first to get up and waits until VGW gets back up to hit him with a low Smash!

    Saiyaman: That was considerate of him. Anyways, VGW attemps a Super Jump Punch, but it didn't become a Fire Jump Punch, leaving him vunerable to Metal Man's Rocket Boost!

    Voice: VGW lands on his feet and starts hitting Metal Man as he comes down! Metal Man pulls out a strong punch to knock VGW back, then follows up by tossing a shotgun at him!

    Saiyaman: Metal Man runs up to VGW and swings a punch, only to miss as VGW rolls back to avoid getting hit! Metal Man responds by firing five rounds of his DD44, each one scoring a hit!

    Voice: VGW leaps towards Metal Man and attacks, only to have it cancelled with one upward Smash! As VGW comes down, Metal Man whips out another Smash, which knocks VGW out of the arena! He's done!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...METAL MAN!

    Metal Man: Whoo, that was tough, but really fun!

    Saiyaman: We aim to please.

    Voice: Ourselves, mainly.

    Saiyaman: Off to the blue screen!

    (The blue screen appears again.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required. You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: Well, everyone, this is the Voice, heading off to get some sleep!

    Saiyaman: So long, everyone!

    Metal Man: Later!

    (Fade out.)