Voice: Welcome to another edition of "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"! It's the show where a stupid man in a worse costume gets to watch people for his own amusement! Now, here's the host, the Great Saiyaman!
(We open to the same set as last episode. Saiyaman is sitting in his host chair, while Voice is in his booth where we can't see him.)
Saiyaman: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another riveting edition of "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"! I'm your host, the Great Saiyaman!
Voice: I'm the co-host, Voice!
Saiyaman: It's great having a co-host who doesn't want to be seen. Saves us the trouble of having to put in an extra chair.
Voice: Well, I prefer my air of mystery.
Saiyaman: As do I. You know the rules, folks. You send in your applications to me, I'll put you on the show, and you compete to be a Superpower! Not really. It's all for fun.
Voice: Except for the pain and humiliation. Say, I noticed that our first episode was edited quite a bit when it went on-line.
Saiyaman: So did I. People missed my dramatic fight scene with Pat! That guy is lethal with a trout.
Voice: So, contestants can't pick fights with Superpowers anymore?
Saiyaman: Guess not.
Voice: Congratulations, you've officially become a trendsetter!
Saiyaman: Not in the way I wanted.
Voice: Like a bubonic plaque for the 21st century?
Saiyaman: Ha ha, Voice. Still, we got a flood of responses from our first episode!
Voice: We got one application, folks.
Saiyaman: That's a flood for me. So, everyone, please give a hand to our first official contestant, A.C!
(Cheap music plays as A.C. walks out on stage. He shakes Saiyaman's hand and sits down at the contestant chair.)
Saiyaman: Great to have you on the show, A.C.
A.C.: It's a pleasure to be here, Saiyaman.
Saiyaman: You know how the game works?
A.C.: No, not really.
Voice: You're tested on Knowledge, Creativity and Fighting.
A.C.: So, do I get SP-ship at the end?
Saiyaman: Possibly.
Voice: It's just a gimmick to lure people in.
Saiyaman: Shh... he's not supposed to know that!
A.C.: No luggage? No toaster oven?
Saiyaman: Good grief, no. You're here out of your own free will.
A.C.: Darn. Well, I guess I'll stay anyway.
Voice: Good, we need to get the paychecks for this episode.
Editor's Note: You are not getting a penny from me...
Saiyaman: So, let's play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!
(Dramatic music plays as the lights dim.)
A.C.: Oh, dramatic.
Voice: We got a budget increase after last episode.
Saiyaman: If this keeps up, we can get a real time slot! Just hope it's not on UPN. Those jerks...
(A loud click is heard.)
Saiyaman: What was that?
Voice: That's about half our viewers clicking off in disgust at your UPN insult.
Saiyaman: D'oh! (Smacks self on forehead.) Well, it's time for the Knowledge test! Time limit is two minutes. Ready?
A.C.: Ready!
Voice: What was the first offical SSS fight?
A.C.: Mario vs. Link.
Saiyaman: What was the first known match that VGW commentated?
A.C.: Match 5, Ness vs. DK.
Voice: What is Saiyaman's secret identity?
Saiyaman: Hey! That question doesn't count!
Voice: OK, who is Billy?
A.C.: Pat's pet trout and an SSS item.
Saiyaman: What gender is Terri?
A.C.: I assuming it's male...
Saiyaman: If penquins are birds, why can't they fly?
A.C.: They have no feathers?
Voice: What is the name of Wario's brother?
A.C.: Waluigi.
TIME!
Saiyaman: Congratulations, you've passed! Now on to the next challenge: Creativity!
Voice: Do we have a problem this time?
Saiyaman: Yes we do. Here's the problem: A.C., you're driving in a car...
A.C.: I don't need a car. I have super speed.
Saiyaman: Play along please. You're driving in a car, when you see three people. One is an old lady who's almost dead, but can be saved if taken to the hospital. The second is a person who saved your life once and the third is the girl of your dreams. Which would you choose to do: save the lady, help your buddy, or stay with your dream girl?
(A.C. thinks for a moment.)
A.C.: I would have my buddy drive the old lady to the hospital, so I could
stay with my dream girl.
Editor's Note: I chose the girl...
Saiyaman: Judges?
Judges: Zzzzzzzzzz....
Saiyaman: WAKE UP!
Judges: Oh hem...What?
Saiyaman: Does he pass or not?
Judges: Oh sure.
Saiyaman: Well, all that's left is the Battle section. Head out to the Battle Arena, A.C.
(A.C. leaves for the arena.)
Saiyaman: I believe you know how this works. Our contestant must win all three of his matchs with only two lives, no health recovery and no items. A true test of skill.
Voice: I'll put up A.C.'s move list.
Saiyaman: Here are A.C.'s opponents:
Round 1: Fox
Round 2: C. Falcon
Round 3: Waluigi
Saiyaman: Due to the lack of dead opponents, the arena today will be Final Destination. I see Fox was arrived and A.C. has dashed his way, so let's get started!
***Begin Corny Intro***
Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemen, Super Smash Stadium brings you...
Voice: THE INVISIBLE VOICE!
Saiyaman: THE COOL DBZ HERO, THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!
Editor's Note: Piccolo's the coolest =)
Both: TODAY'S COMMENTATORS!
Saiyaman: Now for Mario, Cloud Strife and Sonic the Hedgehog in attendance...
Voice: And for the fourteen watching world-wide...
Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME! (Copyright The Great Saiyaman 2002.)
Voice: A.C. and Fox are dashing at each other at top speed! A.C., being faster, reaches Fox and uses the Skull Crack, sending Fox back!
Saiyaman: Fox uses a few Blaster shots in retaliation and tries the Fox Illusion, but A.C. has his sheild up for that last attack!
Voice: Fox's attack does no damage, and A.C. responds with a few punches and his Spinning Top attack!
Saiyaman: Pressing his advantage, A.C. throws out the Jet Force, but Fox uses the Reflector to hit A.C. with his own attack! Let's see the stats:
AC: 27% F: 45%
Voice: A.C. rushes at Fox and delivers another blow, but Fox throws him with that wussy throw of his and fires some more Blaster shots!
Saiyaman: A.C. interrupts the shots with Jet Force! He jumps onto Fox with an aerial kick and some rapid punching!
AC: 40% F: 71%
Voice: A.C is ready to end this fight! He uses a direct Super Nova Buster on Fox, sending him up! Being a featherweight, Fox is sent flying into the background and is out!
Saiyaman: A.C. taunts, but he shouldn't because Falcon just leapt out his racer and rushes toward A.C.! He connects with a shoulder barge and a throw!
Voice: A.C isn't taking that lightly! He fires a Jet Force!
Saiyaman: Falcon's rushing in with the Raptor Boost, but A.C. dodges and uses the Spinning Top, knocking Falcon away!
Voice: Falcon comes back with the Falcon Kick! Let's see those stats...
AC: 83% CF: 25%
Saiyaman: It seems that A.C. is using his special moves a lot here. A Super Nova Buster on Falcon, sending him up, but not out!
Voice: A.C. knows it and jumps up to meet Falcon, hitting him with a Meteor Smash! Falcon slams into the ground!
Saiyaman: A.C drops down and uses the Skull Crack, knocking away Falcon!
Voice: Falcon recovers, and as A.C rushes toward him, begins the Falcon Punch! A.C. tries to put up his sheild, but it's too little, too late, as a perfectly connected Falcon Punch sends him outta there!
AC: 0%D1 CF: 74%
Saiyaman: A.C. has returned, and he looks ticked off. With a Spinning Top and a throw, Falcon is sent flying! He tries to jump back, but A.C. prevents his return with Jet Force! Falcon is hit and falls down to his death!
A.C.: Oh yeah!
Voice: No time to rejoice as Waluigi's pipe has come up and out comes Waluigi himself! This is the final battle!
Saiyaman: Waluigi starts off with the Charging Headbutt, but A.C. leaps out of the way and uses Skull Crack! He then throws Waluigi to the right!
Voice: Waluigi throws off a fireball or two, which hit, and jumps at A.C.!
Saiyaman: A.C. uses the Super Nova Buster on Waluigi in mid-air, but it's not a direct hit and does only minor damage! They land and Waluigi does the Waluigi Fury, knocking A.C. up into the air!
Voice: A.C. uses a Meteor Smash on Waluigi on his way down and fights back with the Spinning Top!
AC: 21% Wa: 41%
Saiyaman: A.C. fires the Jet Force and charges at Waluigi! Waluigi dodges the Jet Force, but is hit by A.C.'s running attack!
Voice: A.C. throws some rapid punches and a Skull Crack! They all connect and Waluigi is feeling the hurt! He Springy Jumps behind A.C., but A.C. is ready for that with the Spinning Top!
AC: 21% Wa: 87%
Saiyaman: A.C. is ending this! It's the Super Nova Buster with a direct hit!
Voice: Going, going...
Saiyaman: GONE! Waluigi's out!
THE WINNER IS...A.C.!
(A.C. walks back on stage and sits down in his chair.)
Saiyaman: Congratulations, A.C.! You're today's big winner!
A.C.: So, what's my prize?
Voice: We told you, there is no prize. It's just for fun.
A.C.: Ahhh...
Saiyaman: Very well. A.C., I present you with this water-proof, durable, portable storage container!
(Saiyaman gives A.C. a bucket.)
A.C.: Uh, thanks.
Saiyaman: That's all the time we have tonight, folks. Tune in next time for another exciting...
Voice: Saiyaman, we need more than one person applying for there to be a next time.
Saiyaman: Dang, you're right. Please, people, we need your support!
(Saiyaman gets on his knees.)
Saiyaman: Please, please, we need support and contestants! Come on, we need people to participate! Please???
Voice: Here's how to participate...
(The rules appear on a blue screen.)
If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to thedbzman@hotmail.com with the subject *Contestant* to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required.You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.
Saiyaman: Please, please, please send in applications!
Voice: Stop it, man! You're embarrasing!
A.C.: Bye everyone!
