Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", where we keep showing you new ways to waste time! Now, a man who never says "die" because it's already happened to him, the Great Saiyaman!

(Taiyooooh, it's the set!)

Saiyaman: Well, that is true. Welcome back, everyone!

Voice: So, Ash is technically alive again, isn't he?

Saiyaman: That's what I've heard. I wonder how that happened.

Voice: I'm not sure. So, does this technically mean the only certainty in life now is taxes?

Saiyaman: Apprently so. We'll figure that out after we introduce today's contestant, the Gamer Kid!

(Gamer Kid walks out and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Thanks for being on the show.

Gamer Kid: I'm happy to be here.

Voice: Tell us a little about yourself.

Gamer Kid: As you may have already guessed, I'm a big gamer. I'm hoping to be a fighter here someday.

Saiyaman: Sorry, we're not hiring this week.

Gamer Kid: I can wait.

Saiyaman: Now, for your prize this time, we have a Nissan 240SX-...

Gamer Kid: You got a car?

Saiyaman: ...scale model. (holds up a car model.)

Voice: Should've known.

Gamer Kid: At least it's a nice model.

Saiyaman: That's true. Now, it's time to play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(The lights dim as dramatic music plays.)

Saiyaman: Now, let's start off with Knowledge. All set?

Gamer Kid: Yup!

Voice: Why did SSS's first president retire?

Gamer Kid: He was evil and got kicked out, so he didn't really retire.

Saiyaman: In "Chrono Crusade", what does Rosette carry around her neck?

Gamer Kid: A pocket watch.

Voice: What's 22 times 5?

Gamer Kid: 110.

Saiyaman: Where's Catmando located?

Gamer Kid: Isn't that just a song and not an actual place?

Voice: Who created the Rave stones?

Gamer Kid: Resha Valentine.

Saiyaman: Is this the last question?

Gamer Kid: Usually is.

TIME!!

Saiyaman: All right, it's time for Creativity! This time, the problem is that due to a warp in time and space, you have become two years younger! What do you do?

Gamer Kid: Depends. If those were two good years, I'd relive 'em. If not, I suppose I'd have to see if I could get a time machine or something.

Saiyaman: All right, head for the arena.

(Gamer Kid heads into the arena.)

Saiyaman: As you know by now, the contestant must survive against three foes with only two lives and no items. Let's view that moveset.

  • B: Punch Tornado: spins and punches at random.
  • B + Up: Flying Kick: jumps up with a spinning kick.
  • B + Right: Clip Copy: throws a clip. Copies the B + Right move of whoever it hits.
  • B + Down: Ground Punch: leaps up and punches the ground. Nearby foes are knocked upwards.

    Saiyaman: The foes for Gamer Kid are Kirbetty, Mr. Game and Watch and Samus. Since Kirbetty is kind of deadish, the arena is Graveyard Romp. Gamer Kid's initals are GK. Now, with the Gamer Kid dashing in and Kirbetty rising from the grave, it's go time!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemen...

    Voice: Boys and girls...

    Saiyaman: Anime references of all types...

    Voice: SSS is doing everything possible to stop bringing you...

    Saiyaman: THE DOCTOR OF DESTRUCTION, SAIYAMAN!

    Voice: THE DISCO-DANCER, VOICE!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: And now, for the five-hundred thousand in attendance...

    Voice: And for the one-million watching world-wide...

    Saiyaman: SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Voice: One movie reference later, we're off as Gamer Kid and Kirbetty make tracks for each other. Gamer Kid appears to be faster as he reaches the central platform and mid-air attacks Kirbetty on the mid-air right platform!

    Saiyaman: Kirbetty is prepared for this and inhales Gamer Kid, copying his Punch Tornado! In response, Gamer Kid whips out his Clip Copy and obtains the Hammer attack!

    Voice: Kirbetty tries out her new Punch Tornado, but Gamer Kid leaps over her and comes down on her with a Meteor Smash! Kirbetty goes up and comes on him with Stone!

    Saiyaman: Gamer Kid grabs Kirbetty and throws her into the tombstone! Kirbetty gets back up only to take a Ground Punch back into the air!

    Voice: Kirbetty tries the Final Cutter move, only to have Gamer Kid counter-attack with his Flying Kick and knock her down! Kirbetty lands on the rightmost platform, but Gamer Kid is in pursuit!

    Saiyaman: Kirbetty whips out her Hammer attack, but Gamer Kid hits first with his copied version of the attack, scoring mulitple hits! Kirbetty quickly retreats to the mid-air right platform before Gamer Kid can strike again!

    Voice: Gamer Kid follows her, only to take a Smash attack and get knocked into the tombstone! He gets back up and shields against another Smash, then up-Smashes her!

    Saiyaman: Kirbetty tries her Stone attack, only to have Gamer Kid roll out of the way and throw her! Kirbetty falls off the platform, but floats up under and catches Gamer Kid with Final Cutter!

    Voice: Kirbetty gets in a few punches of her own before Gamer Kid attacks with his PUnch Tornado! Kirbetty retaliates with her low Smash!

    GK: 45% Kg: 81%

    Saiyaman: Gamer Kid hits Kirbetty with a running attack, knocking her onto the central platform! He follows her only to get hit by her upward Smash!

    Voice: Kirbetty uses Punch Tornado, but Gamer Kid leaps over the attack and throws her upward! He follows up with an upward attack and a Flying Kick, giving it just enough boost to knock her out the top!

    Saiyaman: I wonder where she went?

    (Kirbetty falls right onto the set.)

    Saiyaman: That's a new one. I guess we haven't had that many KOs off the top of the arena.

    Voice: Since Kirbetty is out cold, let's focus on the fact that Mr. Game and Watch has entered the arena on the left-hand side. Gamer Kid goes after him, only to get hit by several sausages from the Chef attack!

    Saiyaman: Mr. Game and Watch hops up to meet Gamer Kid, hitting with an aireal attack! Gamer Kid comes back up with a Smash, but Mr. Game and Watch mid-air dodges!

    Voice: Gamer Kid comes back with his Punch Tornado, scoring a few hits against Mr. Game and Watch! Mr. Game and Watch counter-attacks with his rightb, scoring a 3!

    Saiyaman: The two of them trade punches for a moment before Mr. Game and Watch uses Fire to attack and escape to the central platform! Gamer Kid manages to come back with his Ground Punch!

    Voice: Mr. Game and Watch hits with a Smash attack, but Gamer Kid easily leaps back and retaliates with a mid-air attack! He then throws Mr. Game and Watch into the tombstone!

    Saiyaman: Mr. Game and Watch uses a quick Smash attack to knock Gamer Kid backwards over the pit, but Gamer Kid uses his Flying Kick to come back and hit Mr. Game and Watch, who heads for the mid-air right platform!

    Voice: Gamer Kid follows him, only to take a hit from the rightb number 6, freezing him! Mr. Game and Watch follows up with several punches before the ice breaks!

    GW: 103% G&W: 51%

    Saiyaman: Mr. Game and Watch grabs at Gamer Kid, but Gamer Kid rolls back and Smashes him! Mr. Game and Watch makes a retreat for the rightmost platform with Gamer Kid in pursuit!

    Voice: Mr. Game and Watch attacks with his Fire move, only to have Gamer Kid mid-air dodge this one! Both contestants land on the platform with Gamer Kid low-Smashing as soon as he can!

    Saiyaman: Mr. Game and Watch manages to stay on the platform and uses his Smash, which is shielded against! Just before the shield breaks, Gamer Kid strikes by throwing Mr. Game and Watch to the right!

    Voice: So close to the edge, Mr. Game and Watch has no chance to return and is KOed! Now, Samus appears on the leftmost platform!

    Saiyaman: As the two head over to confront each other, Samus fires a Missile at Gamer Kid! Gamer Kid ducks under the approaching missile as Samus reaches the central platform and uses her Screw Attack!

    Voice: Gamer Kid uses Kirbetty's Hammer attack to blow Samus back and follows with his Flying Kick! The latter misses and leaves him open to some of Samus' fire attack!

    Saiyaman: A few second-degree burns later, Gamer Kid is back on the platform in time to shield against several Bombs! Once Samus is done, he hits with an upward Smash!

    Voice: Samus steers herself to the mid-air left platform as Gamer Kid follows, but a bolt of lightning strikes him, causing him to get KOed! Samus takes damage from the residual shock on the platform, but begins to charge the Charge Shot.

    Saiyaman: Gamer Kid returns on the revival platform and charges Samus with his invincibility! Samus loses her charge with his sudden running attack!

    Voice: Samus makes a break for the mid-air right lplatform as Gamer Kid acquires her Missile with his Clip Copy! Samus makes it to the platform and fires a Missile that Gamer Kid dodges!

    GW: 0%D1 S: 49%

    Saiyaman: Gamer Kid manages to make it to Samus' platform and hits with a quick Punch Tornado that Samus shields against! Samus grabs and begins to smack Gamer Kid, who breaks free and low-Smashes her!

    Voice: Samus flies towards the tombstone, but manages to jump off it and drops her Bombs on Gamer Kid! Gamer Kid responds with a Flying Kick that sends them both onto the central platform!

    Saiyaman: The two opponents trade punches for a bit until Samus comes in with a low-Smash! Gamer Kid gets hit, but comes back with his Ground Punch!

    Voice: Another lightning bolt strikes the mid-air right platform, so Gamer Kid grabs Samus and throws her on it, causing damage with its brief electrification! Samus leaps back and attacks, but Gamer Kid dodges!

    Saiyaman: Samus uses a Missile at point-blank range on Gamer Kid, who responds by leaping over to the mid-air left platform! Samus' Screw Attack while he's doing that missses!

    Voice: Samus does manage to get to the platform and throws a running attack at Gamer Kid, who takes the hit, but uses the time to throws her into the ground! Samus gets up and receives her own Missile attack from him!

    Saiyaman: Samus decides to put some distance between the two, but Gamer Kid persues her to the leftmost platform and whips out a Smash! The force is enough to cause a KO!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...THE GAMER KID!

    Gamer Kid: All right, that was incredible! Uh, what are you going to do about her? (points to Kirbetty.)

    Voice: I'll see if I can get Peter Venkman and Egon Spengler on the phone.

    Saiyaman: Let's go to the blue screen.

    (The blue screen shows up.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required. You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: Okay, everyone, this is the Voice, off to get a good steak dinner.

    Saiyaman: So long, everyone!

    Gamer Kid: Later!

    Kirbetty: (regains consciousness.) Ugh, where am I? Who am I?

    (Fade out.)