Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", the show where we can disco the night away! Now, here's your host, a man who drinks too much soda, the Great Saiyaman!

(We open up to the usual set.)

Saiyaman: Going for the world record, baby! Welcome back to the show, everyone!

Voice: So, you do realize that if you consume enough soda in one day, it can potentially kill you, right?

Saiyaman: I heard once it was somewhere around 380 cans, I think.

Voice: I'll bet you've come close to that at least once.

Saiyaman: There are worse ways to die, Voice. And now, let's introduce our contestant, J.G.T!

(J.G.T comes out onstage and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Thanks for being on the show, J.G.T.

J.G.T: Pleasure to be here.

Voice: Tell us a little about yourself.

J.G.T: I like to spend my time reading and playing video games.

Voice: Ah, an intellectual.

Saiyaman: For today's prize, you'll win a handy zombie decoy, recommended by four out of five zombie hunters.

J.G.T: What happened to the fifth?

Saiyaman: Let's just say something went wrong for him.

Voice: Ew, didn't need to know that.

Saiyaman: So, do you know how to play?

J.G.T: It involves questions and fighting, right?

Saiyaman: Close enough. Now, let's play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(The lights dim and the dramatic music plays.)

Saiyaman: Now, the first section is Knowledge! All set?

J.G.T: I guess so.

Voice: Name the Babylon Rouges from "Sonic Riders".

J.G.T: Jet, Hawk and Storm.

Saiyaman: Who is the scientist character of webcomic Building 12?

J.G.T: Brian.

Voice: What was Samus Aran's hair color in the first Metroid game?

J.G.T: Brown.

Saiyaman: How many colors of Yoshi are there?

J.G.T: I'm not sure there's a limit to that one.

Voice: How old is the world's oldest animal?

J.G.T: A turtle in excess of two-hundred years.

Saiyaman: Who's the final boss of Metroid Prime 2?

J.G.T: Dark Samus.

TIME!

Saiyaman: Now, let's move on to Creativity! For today's problem, determine what the safest way to get rid of our nuclear weapons is.

J.G.T: That's a trick question. You guys don't have nuclear weapons.

Saiyaman: Good one. Now, it's fighting time! Head for the arena.

(J.G.T leaves for the arena.)

Saiyaman: The rules remain the same. Three foes, two lives and no items. Now, let's check out that moveset.

  • B: Wind Blast - creates a burst on wind that travels two body lengths away. Can blow foes back.
  • B+Up: Flare Uppercut - Roy's Blazer move in uppercut form.
  • B+Right: Ice Storm - a wider version of the Ice Climber's Blizzard.
  • B+Down: Earth Shatter - stomps the ground, creating a brief rock barrier. Can be used for offense or defense.

    Saiyaman: J.G.T has chosen to fight Daffy Duck, Yoshelly and Ness. Since Yoshelly is still not living anymore, the arena of choice is Graveyard Romp. Looks like J.G.T is in the arena along with Daffy Duck, so let's get going!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemen...

    Voice: Boys and girls...

    Saiyaman: Leopards and ocelots...

    Voice: SSS has brought you one more time with...

    Saiyaman:

    Voice: THE ALL-SEEING VOICE!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: Now, for the three-hundred thousand in attendance...

    Voice: And for the four-hundred thousand watching world-wide...

    Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: J.G.T is off to a running start, heading straight for Daffy, who's...shouting something to the crowd?

    Daffy: I'm finally back! Who missed me?

    (Crickets are heard chirping.)

    Voice: I thought we took care of those crickets.

    Saiyaman: Daffy revels in his fame or lack thereof too long, as J.G.T gets in the first blow with an aireal attack! He hits the ground and smacks Daffy again with a Earth Shatter!

    Voice: Daffy quickly gets back to fighting by throwing himself on J.G.T with a Body Slam while he was recovering from the Earth Shatter! Daffy follows with a low kick, which J.G.T jumps over him and hits Daffy with an aireal attack!

    Saiyaman: Daffy grabs J.G.T and throws him to the left, but is unable to hurl him into the pit! J.G.T is quickly able to recover and tries a running attack, but Daffy shielded the blow!

    Voice: J.G.T keeps on attacking Daffy with several punches and a Ice Storm, eventually causing the shield to shatter! With Daffy stunned, J.G.T grabs him, smacks him and throws him to the right!

    Saiyaman: Daffy recovers in time to jump to safety, leaping over J.G.T and his Flare Uppercut with the Upward Spiral Kick! Daffy lands on the upper-right platform while lightning hits the upper-left platform!

    Voice: J.G.T strikes from below by leaping underneath and hitting with the Flare Uppercut! Daffy grabs him as he's coming down, but J.G.T breaks free!

    J.G.T: 56% D: 76%

    Saiyaman: Daffy whips out a close-range Frisbee Throw with J.G.T countering with a Wind Blast, blowing Daffy off and onto the central platform! J.G.T follows him, but gets hit by a lightning blast, which also fries Daffy's platform and sends him flying off!

    Voice: Daffy uses his double-jump to reach the leftmost platform while J.G.T manages to recover on the upper-left platform. Daffy leaps up to his level with the Upward Spin Kick to get past the tombstone, only to be knocked onto said tombstone by J.G.T's aireal attack!

    Saiyaman: J.G.T slips off the tombstone and lands to the right of it as Daffy pulls himself back up, hopping high over J.G.T and dodges his aireal attack! Daffy then slams into him with the Body Slam!

    Voice: With that attack, Daffy goes on the offensive, throwing punches while J.G.T is trapped near the tombstone! However, J.G.T manages to roll behind him and throws him over the tombstone for a K.O.!

    Saiyaman: Now, Yoshelly rises from the right side of the arena to do battle! J.G.T heads over to take her on, dodging an Egg Toss, but it leaves him vunerable as she kicks him off the edge!

    Voice: J.G.T manages to grab the edge and pulls himself up, smacking Yoshelly as he does so! He then smacks Yoshelly with an Earth Shatter attack and grabs her, throwing her downward!

    Saiyaman: Yoshelly rolls to the arena's edge and leaps onto the mid-air right platform, continuing her way right as J.G.T follows her! At the central platform, she turns and throws an egg at J.G.T, who shields against it!

    J.G.T: 94% Yg: 23%

    Voice: It looks like the egg was merely a distraction so that Yoshelly could leap up and smack J.G.T into the ground with an aireal attack! However, J.G.T sneaks behind Yoshelly with a roll and hits with Wind Blast!

    Saiyaman: The Wind Blast manages to knock Yoshelly off and back onto the central platform, where J.G.T follows her! Once there, he grabs Yoshelly and throws her into the tombstone!

    Voice: Yoshelly recovers and begins a furious kicking attacking on J.G.T, forcing him to shield against the blows! Just before the shield breaks, J.G.T rolls back and hits with Ice Storm!

    Saiyaman: Yoshelly recovers from the attack quickly with a running attack, forcing J.G.T off and clinging to the edge of the pit! Instead of pulling up, J.G.T instead leaps go and leaps back up with Flare Uppercut for more damage!

    Voice: Once both contestants are back on their feet, Yoshelly attempts to Eggify J.G.T, who nimbly dodges the attack! After, Yoshelly is grabbed and thrown towards the left pit by J.G.T!

    J.G.T: 127% Yg: 62%

    Saiyaman: Yoshelly jumps up to the left mid-air platform, but as J.G.T tries to follow, the central platform is struck by lightning! He goes flying to the other end of the arena and gets KOed!

    Voice: Yoshelly takes a breather as J.G.T comes back on the old revival platform, but quickly makes a break towards the left side when he comes back. J.G.T heads on over after her, but his aireal attack is nullifed by Yoshelly's shield!

    Saiyaman: Yoshelly puts in two quick kicks just as J.G.T's invincibility wears off, but one Smash attack is all it takes this close to the edge to knock Yoshelly out!

    Voice: With that, all that leaves is Ness, who hops in and throws a PK Thunder at him! While J.G.T does manage to avoid it briefly, Ness has it circle around and smack him from behind!

    Saiyaman: The shock oh-so briefly stalls J.G.T on the left mid-air platform, so Ness leaps over and attacks with PK Fire! J.G.T instead runs underneath the aireal attack and strikes with Flare Uppercut!

    Voice: The resulting attack sends both of them landing on the central platform where J.G.T strikes Ness again with his Earth Shatter! While Ness is stunned from that blow, he throws in a few punches as well!

    J.G.T: 21%D1 N: 37%

    Saiyaman: Ness doesn't take that lightly, retaliating with a low Smash and a throw into the tombstone! He then throws a PK Fire which catches on the tombstone and burns him a bit as well!

    Voice: Ness uses the PK Fire stun to get in some more punches, but J.G.T manages to leap away onto the right mid-air platform! Ness tries a PK Flash, but he messes up the timing as J.G.T slips by it for a mid-air attack!

    Saiyaman: J.G.T fails at a grab attempt as Ness leaps over him to the right mid-air platform and fires off a PK Thunder at him, which hits! J.G.T follows Ness up the platform, dodging a Smash attack and hitting with a quick one of her own!

    Voice: J.G.T dashes in after Ness and smacks him with a running attack, then turns and tries Ice Storm, which Ness shields against! Ness then rolls back and uses the reach of his low Smash to smack J.G.T in the ankles.

    Saiyaman: J.G.T attacks with his Wind Blast, pushing Ness back and buying him time to get in and throw him to the right! Ness goes over the tombstone, but his double-jump saves him from flying out of the boundaries!

    Voice: J.G.T rushes over and kicks on his way down, but Ness dodges the blow and tries to grab him! J.G.T interrupts that with a quick punch and a Smash, KOing Ness!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...J.G.T!

    J.G.T: Yeah! Now THAT was fun!

    Saiyaman: How I love a sastisifed contestant. Let's go to the blue screen.

    (The blue screen reappears.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required. You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: Okay, folks, this is the Voice, hoping you all champagine wishes and caviar dreams!

    Saiyaman: See you all later!

    J.G.T: Buh-bye!

    (Fade out.)