Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", the show that makes more sense than "Lost"! Now, here's your host, the man from River City, the Great Saiyaman!

(We open back up to the old set.)

Saiyaman: Technically, Voice, there are lots of shows that make more sense than "Lost". Welcome back, everyone!

Voice: I don't know about "lots of shows". What about your average soap opera?

Saiyaman: True, you need to make a fold-out chart to follow those from the beginning. Now, here's today's contestant, BlackMage64!

(BlackMage64 walks out on stage and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Thanks for coming on the show today.

BlackMage64: Hey, no problem.

Voice: So, tell our home audience a little about yourself.

BlackMage64: I'm a bit of a traveler. I started hanging around this place because of all the fights.

Voice: Ah, the wandering warrior. Classic.

Saiyaman: And now, your fabulous prize is a free cell phone!

BlackMage64: That could be handy.

Voice: The roaming changes are pretty bad, though.

BlackMage64: How bad?

Saiyaman: If you move while you're using it, you're charged.

BlackMage64: What kind of plan is that?

Saiyaman: A very poor one. Now, do you know how to play it?

BlackMage64: Yes, I do.

Saiyaman: Then it's time to play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(The lights dim as Tetris music plays.)

Saiyaman: First up is...wait, what was with that music?

Voice: Sound effect error.

Saiyaman: Eh, okay. So, first up is Knowledge! Ready?

BlackMage64: Okay!

Voice: Who is the main character of the Trauma Center games?

BlackMage64: Derek Stiles.

Saiyaman: Who are the playable characters in Megaman ZX?

BlackMage64: Um, Vent and Aile.

Voice: How many endings are there to Shadow the Hedgehog?

BlackMage64: Ten? No, eleven!

Saiyaman: How many DDR songs are there, not counting remakes?

BlackMage64: I'm not sure anyone knows.

Voice: Who is the manufacturer of Mountain Dew?

BlackMage64: Pepsi.

Saiyaman: How do you make fireworks appear at the end of a level in Super Mario Bros?

BlackMage64: Touch the flagpole with the last timer digit being a one, three or six.

TIME!!

Saiyaman: All right, you've moved on to Creativity! Your challenge is this: a giant robot is destroying your home town! What do you do?

BlackMage64: I bravely pierce the robot's shell and destroy its internal workings! Or I just wave a big magnet in front of it and wipe its hard drive.

Voice: If that second one worked, giant robot movies would less fun to watch.

Saiyaman: Okay, that does it. Head off for the arena.

(BlackMage64 leaves for the arena.)

Saiyaman: Okay, folks, you know the drill. Two lives, three foes, no items. Let's check out that moveset.

  • B: Fire Shot (Kinda like Bowser's Fire Breath, except there little fire balls that come out of his hands.)
  • B+Up: Hover (Levitates up a little, stars floating under him. If an apponent touches the stars under him, they get hurt 15%.)
  • B+Right: Sword Stab (Lunges forwards and flings opponent up in the air, if opponent dodges the fling, it only takes away 10%, if flinged, takes away 20%.)
  • B+Down: Sword Quake: (Sticks his sword in the ground and the earth around him shatters, making all his opponents off there feet.)

    Saiyaman: BlackMage64 has chosen to fight Geno, Sonic and Waluigi. He'll be represented by BM64. The arena of choice is, as usual, Final Destination. Ah, our contestants are entering now, so let's get going!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Voice: Ladies and gentlmen...

    Saiyaman: Grapefruits and carrots...

    Voice: Produce from all over...

    Saiyaman: SSS will consume you after introducing...

    Voice: GUARDIAN OF GRAPES, VOICE!

    Saiyaman: KING OF CORN, SAIYAMAN!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: And now, for the nine-hundred fourty one in attendance...

    Voice: And for the fourty-thousand, one-hundred six watching worldwide...

    Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Geno is first off, but BlackMage64's blade gives him the range advantage, allowing him to strike first! A few stabs later and Geno backs off, using his Geno Blast!

    Voice: BlackMage64 shields against the blow and strikes back with Fire Shot, smacking Geno a bit before he leaps over it and strikes! Before Geno can strike again, BlackMage64 rolls behind him and uses a Smash!

    Saiyaman: Geno turns and quickly grabs BlackMage64, smacking him once and tossing him to the right! BlackMage64 lands on his feet and tries a Sword Quake, to which Geno leaps over, but misses with his own kick attack!

    Voice: Geno's miss gives BlackMage64 a chance to hit him with an upward Smash, making Geno fly to the right! He lands a little ways from the edge and is jabbed by BlackMage64's Sword Stab, but just misses the fling part!

    Saiyaman: BlackMage64 decides to move in and strike Geno again, but Geno pushes him back with his Geno Beam! Using this to his advantage, Geno rushes in and throws BlackMage64 to the left!

    Voice: BlackMage64 recovers with his Hover attack, using the stars to hit Geno as he headed towards him! Once BlackMage64 lands, he blasts Geno with Fire Shot!

    BM64: 60% Gn: 62%

    Saiyaman: Geno moves in for a running attack, but BlackMage64 shields against the move. However, when he drops the shield, Geno quickly unleashes a series of punches, which BlackMage64 rolls away from!

    Voice: Before Geno can pull off another attack, BlackMage64 uses Sword Quake to stun him, then moves in and uses a few stabs followed by a Smash attack! The force sends Geno flying to the left edge with BlackMage64 in pursuit!

    Saiyaman: Geno uses a mid-air jump to come back and kick at BlackMage64, who shields against it! BlackMage64 grabs Geno and tries to throw him out, but Geno comes back with his Geno Boost!

    Voice: Using his newly-gained power, Geno uses a Geno Blast to force BlackMage64 back, who leaps back to avoid the attack! He then slips in and impales Geno with Sword Stab during the recovery, throwing him off again!

    Saiyaman: Geno comes back with his triple-jump, powering up again and grabbing BlackMage64! He throws him into the ground, but BlackMage64 recovers with the landing and shields against another of Geno's attacks!

    Voice: This time, BlackMage64 throws Geno upward and strikes with an upward Smash! The force of the blow manages to knock Geno over the top and KOs him!

    Saiyaman: That brings out Sonic, who instantly smacks into BlackMage64 with the Light Speed Dash! The move sends BlackMage64 flying, but he uses Hover just above Sonic as he came down, hitting with his stars!

    Voice: The Hover drops BlackMage64 down on top of Sonic, whose speed lets him strike with several blows, forcing BlackMage64 to raise his shield! Sonic steps back and begins to prep a Figure Eight Dash, giving BlackMage64 some room to drop the shield and leap!

    Saiyaman: That leap allowed him to clear Sonic's attack, sending Sonic to the middle of the arena before he's triped by a Sword Quake attack! BlackMage64 uses this time to move in and get in a few stabs!

    BM64: 94% StH: 28%

    Voice: Sonic rolls behind BlackMage64 and uses a Smash attack, sending BlackMage64 over the right edge of the arena! He manages to grab the ledge with a mid-air jump, pulling himself up and rolling past the advancing Sonic!

    Saiyaman: Sonic turns around and gets a face full of fireballs from BlackMage64! As BlackMage64 ends the attack and begins a new one, Sonic interrupts him with the Light Speed Dash!

    Voice: BlackMage64 takes the landing roughly, getting up in time to avoid Sonic's Figure Eight Dash! Sonic stops just before the ledge and gets flung off by a Sword Stab!

    Saiyaman: Sonic comes back with his Static Jolt, missing BlackMage64 and passing past his upward Smash! As soon as Sonic lands, BlackMage64 uses a running attack, to which Sonic rolls away from!

    Voice: Sonic's speed allows him to get in a running attack of his own, which is turned against him now that he's in BlackMage64's striking range! He does just that, slicing Sonic a few times and following with a quick Smash!

    Saiyaman: Sonic goes over to the left, landing close to the other edge of the arena! This time, instead of going after him, BlackMage64 insteads decides to wait as Sonic is powering up a Spin Dash.

    BM64: 121% StH: 77%

    Voice: Sonic pulls out his Spin Dash, but BlackMage64 shields against it, leaving Sonic to halt just before the arena's edge! Quickly, BlackMage64 pulls out a Smash attack, knocking Sonic out for a KO!

    Saiyaman: This brings in Waluigi, who starts off with a Ground Pound on the passing BlackMage64! With his high damage count, it's enough to send BlackMage64 out of the arena's top!

    Voice: Waluigi's invincibility wears off as BlackMage64 returns to the arena, smacking with an aireal attack as he drops down! Waluigi makes a break for the arena's side as BlackMage64 hits with Sword Quake!

    Saiyaman: BlackMage64 reaches Waluigi before he can get back up and uses a bevy of sword slashes on him, inflicting significant damage! Waluigi manages to slip in a Fireball, stunning BlackMage64 long enough to escape!

    Voice: BlackMage64 moves in for another sword swing, but this time, Waluigi manages to roll behind it and him, grabbing him and hitting a few times! Before he can throws, BlackMage64 breaks free and whips out a low attack!

    Saiyaman: This buys BlackMage64 a little time to use Fire Shot, only to have Waluigi leap back and prepare a Charging Headbutt, striking just as the flames die down! While Waluigi recovers from the attack movement, BlackMage64 turns and throws him to the left!

    BM64: 26%D1 WaL: 43%

    Voice: Waluigi lands close to the left edge, but decides to move to safety, using a Springy Jump to evade BlackMage64's running attack! Waluigi manages to land safely around the arena's center as BlackMage64 heads for with a Sword Stab!

    Saiyaman: The Sword Stab comes up short, so Waluigi uses his lanky arms to get in a few blows, only to have his Smash interrupted by a quick attack from BlackMage64! Another slice and a grab sends Waluigi towards the left edge!

    Voice: Waluigi lands on his feet with BlackMage64 coming towards him and attacking with Fire Shot! The flames tickle Waluigi a little, but he backs away from the bulk of the attack, causing BlackMage64 to stop it.

    Saiyaman: As that attack fades, Waluigi slips in a few hits with his Fireball attack, then uses the stun to hit with a running attack! As Waluigi turns around to strike again, BlackMage64 makes with a few sword strikes!

    Voice: BlackMage64's barrage ends with a low Smash, but Waluigi avoids and scores a hit with Ground Pound! BlackMage64 uses this lack of range to grab hold of Waluigi, but this time, Waluigi manages to break free!

    BM64: 56%D1WaL: 88%

    Saiyaman: The stun gives Waluigi enough time for a quick Smash, knocking BlackMage64 towards the right edge of the arena! Waluigi follows with a Charging Headbutt, only to be nullified by BlackMage64's shield!

    Voice: Waluigi's charge stops short of the ledge, so naturally, BlackMage64 pulls out a charged Smash on him! Due to his proximity to the arena's borders, Waluigi is taken out!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...BLACKMAGE64!

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required. You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: Okay, everyone, this is the Voice, wishing for a brighter tomorrow and a free oil change.

    Saiyaman: Until next time, everyone!

    BlackMage64: See ya, everyone!

    (Fade out.)