Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", where we feature the latest in bizarre references! And now our host, one of the few people who still wears a cape around here, the Great Saiyaman!

(We open back up to the set.)

Saiyaman: Hey, capes are classic! Welcome back, everyone!

Voice: I heard cape-wearing superheroes were more prone to tradgic cape accidents.

Saiyaman: Of course they're prone to it, Voice. It's because the nature of the job makes them more prone to have accidents with their capes.

Voice: Have you ever had one?

Saiyaman: No, not really. Now, let's introduce today's contest, Sol!

(Sol walks out and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Thanks for being on the show, Sol.

Sol: It's good to be here.

Voice: So, tell the home audience a little about yourself.

Sol: In certain circles, I'm considered a champion fighter and icon. I'd like to become an actual Superpower someday.

Voice: Sorry, we're not hiring this week either.

Saiyaman: For your prize this time, we're offering you a Persocom to call your own.

Sol: Really? What kind?

Voice: It's one of the rare male ones.

Sol: Not a girl one? Darn.

Saiyaman: So, do you know how to play?

Sol: I answer a few questions and fight several opponents.

Saiyaman: That's right. Now, it's time to play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(The lights dim and dramatic music plays.)

Saiyaman: First up is the Knowledge section! All set?

Sol: Yup!

Voice: What is the name of Silver's song from the 2006 "Sonic the Hedgehog"?

Sol: I think it's "Dreams of an Absolution."

Saiyaman: what is Bomberman's age?

Sol: That's never given.

Voice: What is the most powerful Yu-Gi-Oh card?

Sol: Beats me.

Saiyaman: How many matches were there in Season 2?

Sol: Thirty-one.

Voice: Name the Battletoads.

Sol: Rash, Zits and Pimple.

Saiyaman: Who was the winner of Match #74?

Sol: Somebody named Mike.

TIME!!

Saiyaman: Next up is Creativity! For your challenge, you must create the perfect wireless network!

Sol: That's a trick question. No such thing could possibly exist.

Saiyaman: Correct! Okay, now you can head into the arena.

(Sol heads out for the arena.)

Saiyaman: As usual, the rules are three foes with two lives and no items. Let's check out that moveset.

  • B: Hadouken: Similar to the famous "Street Fighter" move.
  • B+Up: Boosters: Fox Fire without any fire.
  • B+Side: Speed Smash: Fox Illusion that can grab a foe.
  • B+Down: Shadow Surprise: Mewtwo's Disable.

    Saiyaman: Sol is feeling surprising confident today, as he wishes to fight Killer and VGWarrior! Oh, and Daffy Duck too.

    Voice: How did you manage that? We need to set some sort of limit of fighter choices.

    Saiyaman: Perhaps so, but we'll deal with that later. For now, the arena will be Final Destination and Daffy is the first up. Both contestants have entered the arena, so it's time to get started!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemen...

    Voice: Mushrooms and Fire Flowers...

    Saiyaman: Mechaniloids of all types...

    Voice: SSS is very bored to keep bringing you...

    Saiyaman: THE ONE AND ONLY SAIYAMAN!

    Voice: THE ONE OF MANY VOICES, VOICE!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: So, for the one-hundred twenty in attendance...

    Voice: And for the nine-hundred ninty-nine watching world-wide...

    Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Voice: Daffy goes right into the offensive, swinging out his Frisbee Toss! Sol easily leaps over the attack and uses Speed Smash to throw Daffy into the ground!

    Saiyaman: Daffy rolls back from the throw, righting himself close enough to throw a one-two punch at Sol! Sol counters that with his own combo and an upper attack!

    Voice: The upper attack knocks Daffy back a bit, so he uses his Body Slam technique! Unfortunately, Sol simply shields against the blow and hits with a Smash!

    Saiyaman: As Daffy gets knocked back, Sol chases after him, firing a Hadouken! Daffy recovers in time to dodge with a leap and comes down on Sol with a aireal atack!

    Voice: Sol takes the blow well, grabs Daffy and smacks him until Daffy frees himself! Daffy tries a Smash, but Sol rolls behind him and uses his Upward Smash!

    Saiyman: Sol strikes again with a mid-air attack, knocking Daffy to the left end of the arena! Sol tries a Speed Smash on Daffy as well, but Daffy is just able to dodge the blow!

    Voice: Daffy grabs Sol, but he quickly breaks free and pulls out a few weak blows! Daffy tries to get in a Smash attack, but Sol dodges the blow and hits with a Shadow Surprise!

    Saiyaman: With Daffy stunned, Sol grabs and throws him into the ground. Daffy gets right back up and goes into a Body Slam, which nicks Sol as he attempts to roll away!

    So: 24% DD: 78%

    Voice: Daffy gets back up and dodges an attack from Sol, striking back with a point-blank Frisbee Toss and a quick Smash! Sol is knocked back a bit, allowing Daffy to run past him and get away from the edge.

    Saiyaman: Sol strikes Daffy while he's running with a Hadouken, then runs after him! Daffy surprises him by turning around and grabbing, then throwing Sol into the ground!

    Voice: Sol doesn't like that one bit, so he smashes through Daffy with his Boosters, then runs back towards him and uses a Smash! Daffy flies far, but he manages to triple-jump his way back!

    Saiyaman: Sol heads over towards him and arrives just Daffy hops back, striking with a low Smash! This is just enough to send Daffy out for a KO!

    Voice: Now, Killer enters the arena, blade-less. He puts Sol in his place by grabbing him and then smacks him around a bit before he can break free!

    Saiyaman: Sol isn't very happy about that, so he grabs Killer and throws him, following post-haste with a Hadouken! The throw doesn't send Killer very far, resulting in the Hadouken hitting at near point-blank range.

    Voice: Killer uses his range to his advantage, striking with PK Fi-I mean, Fire 2 to get a few hits! Sol is trapped in the burning rage while Killer powers up a low Smash!

    So: 68% Yk: 14%

    Saiyaman: Once the fires die down, Killer unleashes his attack before Sol can dodge, knocking Sol into the air! Killer leaps to attack again with Thief Punch, but Sol is just able to dodge it.

    Voice: Sol hits the ground a second before Killer, giving him time to use an upward Smash! Killer recovers as he hits the ground by rolling towards the left, evading a Shadow Surprise in the process!

    Saiyaman: Sol decides to try a running attack, but Killer easily leaps over him and strikes with Bolt, knocking Sol into the air! Sol gets some impressive air time, which he uses to veer to the the right to avoid another Bolt!

    Voice: Sol lands on his feet as Killer recovers from his second Bolt, so he begins a series of rapid punches against Killer! Killer is hit a few times before he shields several more and slips in a Thief Punch!

    Saiyaman: Once the two land, Killer is quick to take advantage, using a Smash attack on Sol as he's recovering! It's enough to knock Sol out and cost him a life!

    Voice: Sol returns on the revival platform as Killer puts some distance between the two of them by heading towards the left end of the arena. Sol heads out after him and uses an upper attack when Killer tries to leap over him!

    Saiyaman: That smack knocked Killer down, but Sol is fair game again, so Killer uses the Ground Pound of him! It hits solidly as Killer hits with Fire 2!

    Voice: This time, Sol manages to slip out of the flames before Killer could launch another attack on him. Firing off a Shadow Surprise, Sol stuns Killer long enough to use Speed Smash and throw him!

    Saiyaman: Killer lands on his feet again, only to take a running attack from Sol! Killer quickly counters the attack with several weak punches, keeping Sol from continuing his assault!

    So: 19%D1 Yk: 67%

    Voice: Killer finishes up his rapid attacks by grabbing Sol and throwing him into the ground! Sol gets back up and rolls away from Killer's follow-up punches, then smashes through him with Boosters!

    Saiyaman: Killer lands and fires off a Bolt attack, knocking Sol as he was turning around! As Sol comes down, Killer leaps and hits with an aireal attack from the side!

    Voice: Sol lands first and fires a Hadouken so that it fits just as Killer lands! The hit gives Sol time to head in and throw Killer to the left towards the edge of the arena!

    Saiyaman: Killer uses a Fire 2 as Sol follows after him, but Sol leaps in this time and strikes with a Meteor Smash, bouncing Killer off the arena floor! As Killer comes down with a Ground Pound, Sol slips away from it and hits with a Smash, KOing Killer!

    Voice: This brings in our last fighter, VGWarrior! He starts by winding up part of a Giant Punch, rolling under the approaching Sol and hitting with a Smash from behind!

    Saiyaman: That gives VGWarrior enough time to finish charging, but Sol uses that time to hit with a Shadow Surprise! While he's stunned, Sol strikes with a low Smash!

    Voice: VGWarrior doesn't take that lightly, striking back with a Raptor Boost! Sol flies up, but he hops back with his mid-air jump to avoid VGWarrior's follow-up attack!

    So: 61%D1 VG: 15%

    Saiyaman: Sol lands and goes at VGWarrior with a Speed Smash, but VGWarrior hops back and gets just out of range of the move! That leaves Sol open, so VGWarrior hits with that Giant Punch!

    Voice: The attack sends Sol flying over to the other end of the arena, but he manages to land safely as VGWarrior fires a Missile at him! He shields against the missile and fires a Hadouken in retaliation!

    Saiyaman: VGWarrior hops over the Hadouken and lands in front of Sol, hitting with a basic punch or two. Sol interrupts his attack with a low attack and his Boosters!

    Voice: Sol turns to face his attacker, only to get blasted by the Raptor Boost! He takes the landing hard leaving VGWarrior to come in and throw a few punches.

    Saiyaman: VGWarrior finishes off his earlier combo by grabbing Sol! With a mighty swing, he throws Sol out of the arena for the second KO!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...VGWARRIOR!

    Saiyaman: Sorry about your loss, man.

    Sol: Thanks. I'll be okay.

    Saiyaman: Let's go to the blue screen.

    (The blue screen reappears.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required. You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: Okay, folks, this is the Voice, performing the latest in modern medical technology...and leaving.

    Saiyaman: Until next time!

    Sol: Later!

    (Fade out.)