Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"! To quote the '60s "Batman" show, "The worst is yet to come!"

(Open to the set, where instead of Saiyaman sits a brown-haired girl in casual clothes. The guys on the message board should know who she is. Voice is in his usual booth.)

Voice: Welcome to the latest episode of "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", now with low carbs for those of you on the Atkins diet. I suppose you're wondering where Saiyaman is today. Well, he figured someone else deserved a little time in the spotlight, so here today is his girlfriend, Amber!

Guy in Audience: There's a girl here! YAAH!

Amber: It's good to see I'm accepted.

Voice: Since I'm sure the guys that don't visit the message board don't know who you are, why don't you introduce yourself to them?

Amber: All right. Let's see...I died back in 1902 in a nasty accident. I got sent to Hell for 100 years until I meet Saiya, who also died during an adventure he was on. We started talking and things went from there. He also taught me how to fight and use weapons.

Voice: Yeah, sweet kid.

Amber: Saiya also figured that if he becomes a full-fledged SP, he's going to let me co-narrate the matches, so I should get introduced now.

Voice: Let's get the show started, shall we?

Amber: All righty. Today's contestant is the master of fire and a Maverick Hunter, Orlando!

(Orlando walks out and sits down.)

Orlando: Thanks, everyone. It's great to be here.

Amber: Tell us a little about yourself, Orlando.

Orlando: Well, I'm the master of almost all things fire, I like cookies and I have a fear of Chao.

Voice: Pardon me while I laugh. WA-HA-HA-HA!

Orlando: Shove it, Voice. So, what am I playing for?

Amber: (Holds up a container.) You're playing for a one week supply of "I Can't Believe It's Carp", the tangy butter substitute product. (Looks at it.) Ew.

(Amber throws the container away, which falls on some guys head.)

Guy: AAAAAAAHH! MY EYES! THEY BURN!

Amber: Sorry! So, you all know how the game works, so let's play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(Lights dim as the dramatic music plays.)

Orlando: Still haven't gotten that fixed, have you?

Amber: As par tradition, we'll start off with Knowledge! You ready?

Orlando: Um...yeah, I guess so.

Voice: Do you know the way to San Jose?

Orlando: Take the left turn at Albuquerque.

Amber: How do you spell Afghanistan backwards?

Orlando: N-a-t-s-i-n-a-h-g-f-a.

Voice: Where is Nintendo of American located?

Orlando: Redmond, Washington.

Amber: Name all the members of Team Chaotix.

Orlando: Espio, Charmy and Vector.

Voice: What does MXC stand for?

Orlando: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.

Amber: What were the famous last words of SledgeHammer?

Orlando: Who?

TIME!

Amber: I'm sorry, that last answer was "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." He said that trying to defuse a nuclear bomb.

Orlando: Obviously, he was unsuccessful.

Voice: Very much so. And yet, the show made a second season. Weird.

Amber: Weird, but funny. It's time for Creativity. Your problem is this: you're on your own when suddenly, you're faced down by the evilSephiroth! What do you do?

Orlando: Well, should the "behind your back" trick fail, I'd take him down in mortal combat!

Amber: Really?

Orlando: Yes. Liu Kang is my best character.

Voice: Who knew?

Amber: So...ah, heck with it! You've cleared that challenge, so head off to the arena!

(Orlando meanders off to the arena.)

Amber: As you know by now, the contestant must beat three foes, one life each, with only two lives. No items at all. The foes today are Link, Ray MK II and Wario. Orlando's initials will be OR. As par tradition, the arena is Final Destination. Let's check that moveset...

((Editors Note: At the time of this writing, I'd lost the moveset Orlando had sent me, the fan tournament match he was in was AWOL and I couldn't get a response from him asking for a new one, so I remembered what I could of the old one for this and messed around with it a bit. Don't kill me, Orlando!))


  • B: Fireball (Fire version of the Charge Shot.)
  • B + Up: Fire Flight (The Fire Fox. Can be charged for more damage.)
  • B + Right: Flamethrower (Bowser's Flamethrower.)
  • B + Down: Explosion (Does 50% damage and 10% to Orlando when fully charged.)

    Voice: Looks like Orlando's down in the arena and Link has popped in, so let's get this going.

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Amber: All righty. Ladies and germs, SSS really doesn't want to bring you...

    Voice: ME, THE VOICE!

    Amber: THE DEVIL GIRL, AMBER!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Amber: And now, for the six hundred thousand in attendance...

    Voice: Six hundred thousand? Really? They must've heard you were hosting.

    Amber: Guess so.

    Voice: And for the millions watching world-wide...

    Amber: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    Voice: Isn't that Saiyaman's line?

    Amber: I have permission to use his copyrights.

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Amber: It's looks like Orlando and Link are going with a sword fight, Orlando using his beamsabre and Link using the Master Sword! Both of them are slashing at each other!

    Voice: Link knocks Orlando using a Spin Attack, but Orlando strikes back with the Flamethrower and follows up with a throw!

    Amber: Link lands on the platform and throws the Boomerang, but Orlando does a dodge to avoid it! He then runs at Link and stabs him with his sabre again!

    Voice: Link doesn't like that! He leaps away from Orlando and throws a Bomb, which connects! He then fires an arrow at Orlando, but Orlando puts up his shield just in time! OR: 31% L: 42%

    Amber: Orlando decides to end it, so he runs up and throws Link off the edge, then begins charging the Explosion! Link leaps back, but Orlando has charged it fully and uses it, sending Link flying away!

    Link: ARRRGGGHHH! *ping*

    Voice: Next up is Ray MK II! He starts off with the Shark Missile, but Orlando hops right over it and charges the Fireball!

    Amber: Ray decides to use the direct approach and runs up to Orlando, who rolls away to save that charge. They begin hitting each other, but Raymanaged to get a Smash on Orlando!

    Voice: Orlando finishes charging the Fireball and tries the Flamethrower, but Ray just hops backward to avoid it and hits Orlando with the uncharged Wasp Stinger!

    Amber: I think Orlando's getting mad, as he runs up and toss Ray upward, then leaps up and smacks him down! He then scorches Ray with the Flamethrower!

    OR: 76% RM: 51%

    Voice: Ray hops away, but Orlando leaps up and smacks Ray on the head with a flying kick, then follows up with the Fireball! Ray goes flying over the edge, but comes back with the Kamikaze! He failed to hit Orlando, however, and that cost him the match as Orlando Smashes him to oblivion!

    Amber: That just leaves Wario, who immedately hits Orlando with a running attack! Orlando is knocked down, but gets up and throws himself through Wario with the Fire Flight!

    Voice: Wario fights back with Body Slam, knocking Orlando back, but he gets up and throws Wario! Wario lands and throws a few Fireballs!

    Amber: Orlando hops over one or two, but the other two connect! Wario then throws Orlando, who can't get back in time!

    Voice: Luckily, Orlando still has his extra life, so he hops back in and begins to thwack Wario around! Wario tries his Butt Stomp on Orlando, but Orlando raises his shield and fries Wario with the Flamethrower!

    OR: 0%D1 W: 47%

    Amber: Wario then punches Orlando a few times, but Orlando smashes him away and charges the Explosion! As Wario runs towards Orlando, the explosion is unleashed, sending Wario OUT!

    Wario: I REGRET NOTHIIIIIING! *ping*

    THE WINNER IS...ORLANDO!

    Orlando: AW YEAH! All right!

    Amber: I hope that makes up for your loss in the Fan Tournament.

    Orlando: No, not really, but I'll still enjoy this.

    Voice: Let's go to the application rules!

    (The blue screen appears again.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required.You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Amber: So long, everyone! Saiya will be back next time and you can be sure I'll be here more often!

    Voice: This is the Voice, saying laters!

    Orlando: See yas!

    (Fade out.)