Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"! We provide you with your daily minimum dose of insanity! Now, here's your host, the Great Saiyaman!

(Yup, we return to the set. Saiyaman and Voice are already seated.)

Saiyaman: Hello, everyone! Welcome to another exciting episode!

Voice: You know, I couldn't help but notice how popular we've recently become.

Saiyaman: There's an excellent reason for that, Voice. You know why?

Voice: Anonymous bribes?

Saiyaman: Actually, I thought it was because we were appealing to the people, but bribes work too!

Voice: I was joking. You know that, right?

Saiyaman: Of course I did, Voice. Now, let's start off the show with our contestant, Introbulus!

(Introbulus walks in and sits down.)

Saiyaman: Thanks for being here, Introbulus.

Introbulus: My pleasure.

Saiyaman: Tell us a little about yourself.

Introbulus: Well, I like to do good deeds after my old universe got blown up.

Saiyaman: How'd that happen?

Introbulus: Uh...I'd rather not talk about it.

Voice: Oooookay, then...

Saiyaman: I'm not going to worry about it. Anyways, your prize is for those of you who've dreamed of waking up a millionare: an alarm clock! (Pulls out the prize.)

Voice: We've GOT to get a bigger budget for our prizes.

Saiyaman: You know how to play?

Introbulus: No, but I can fake it.

Saiyaman: Close enough. Let's play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(The lights dim as the dramatic music plays.)

Saiyaman: Our first test is Knowledge! All set?

Introbulus: Yup!

Voice: What is the highest reachable level in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga?

Introbulus: Lv. 99.

Saiyaman: Where is the location of Gospel's hideout?

Introbulus: Kotobuki Town.

Voice: What is the name of the hole in Excel Saga that resets things to keep the story on track?

Introbulus: 'Iz-Chan.

Saiyaman: What is the name of the former manager of the Lounge?

Introbulus: Italy Ishida.

Voice: What is the name of Inuyasha's sword?

Introbulus: Tetsusaiga.

Saiyaman: What did you have for breakfast?

Introbulus: Donuts.

TIME!

Saiyaman: Aaaaaaand you're good! Let's move on to Creativity! The challenge is this: you're in the supermarket when you see the store is being robbed by really crummy burglars! What do you do?

Introbulus: I'd have to take them out SMB2 style by crushing them with the vegetables!

Voice: You'd clobber them with cauliflower, eh?

Introbulus: Yeah. What else is it good for?

(Public Service Announcement: Remember, good boys and girls, always eat your vegetables!)

Saiyaman: Sounds good enough to me. To the arena with you!

(Introbulus heads for the arena.)

Saiyaman: As you all know, our contestant goes three rounds with a mere two lives and no items. Let's show that moveset.

  • B: Ultimate Prod-Simulates Warlock punch, but more powerful.
  • B^: Psychopath- Charges up an electrical attack that sends him rocketing in a specified direction, much like Luigi's misfired Green Missle. Difficult to control.
  • B side: Scyth Whirlwind- Combination of Link's Spinning attack and Mario's spinning attack. Can move to the sides while executing. Longer range, but not as powerful as Link's attack.
  • B Down: Generate Item- Creates a random item out of thin air. Could be any item, but it's usually a bob-omb. If he pulls a coconut by mistake, he freaks out.

    Voice: I'd have thought that last move wouldn't be allowed.

    Saiyaman: Well, to make it fair, he's been banned from pulling out healing items, Starmen or hammers. His foes today are DK, Bowser and some guy named Pit.

    Voice: Pit? Who's he? I don't remember him.

    Saiyaman: Well, nobody remembers the Chaotix, but they got into Sonic Heroes, so why can't Pit be at SSS?

    Voice: Good point.

    Saiyaman: Ah, I see that Mr. Pit has decided to go first and Introbulus hops into the arena, so let's get this started!

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, thingies of all types...

    Voice: SSS is proud to bring you...

    Saiyaman: THE STAFF MEMBER, SAIYAMAN!

    Voice: THE ALWAYS-UNSEEN VOICE!

    Both: YOUR COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: Now, for my underappreciated teachers back at my high school...

    Voice: And for my wife and kids watching at home...

    Audience: A-HEM!

    Voice: Oh yeah, you guys too.

    Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Pit and Introbulus have decided to start off with their special attacks, Pit firing the Sacred Bow and Introblus using his Generate Item, pulling out a Mr. Saturn!

    Voice: Pit's arrow seems to have missed as Introbulus throws the Mr. Saturn, but wait! Pit uses his Angel Feathers move and blows the Mr. Saturn back into Introbulus!

    Saiyaman: Introbulus fights through the wind with his Psychopath move, delivering a massive headbutt to Pit, knocking him back!

    Voice: Pit gets right back up and the two of them start punching each other, but Introbulus manages to get a throw in!

    Saiyaman: Introbulus dashes over to Pit and attacks with a low Smash! Pit goes flying over the edge, but comes back using the Wings of Pegasus, damaging Introbulus!

    Voice: Introbulus strikes back with the Scyth Whirlwind, knocking Pit to the left! Pit fires several arrows at Introbulus to get back at him, each one striking!

    IT: 36% PI: 64%

    Saiyaman: Introbulus tries the Generate Item again, but pulls out a coconut. Too bad, as Pit has taken advantage of the stun and throws him!

    Voice: Introbulus gets up and goes back to slicing up Pit with his scyth, then finishes with a upward Smash, sending the lightweight Pit outta there!

    Pit: RIIIIIICOLLLLLAAAAAAA! *Ping!*

    Saiyaman: The next fighter into the ring is DK! He runs toward Introbulus, who tries to leap past him, but gets knocked into the air by an upward Smash!

    Voice: DK decides to follow up with an aerial attack, but Introblus recovers and knocks him down!

    Saiyaman: Introbulus then slices up DK with the Scyth Whirlwind! DK flies away, but lands on his feet and smacks Introbulus with a Headbutt-Hand Slap combo!

    Voice: He sure didn't like that! Introbulus gets him with a few weak punches and a Psychopath!

    IT: 75% DK: 48%

    Saiyaman: Introbulus uses the Generate Item move, pulling out a Home-Run Bat!

    Voice: DK throws him, apprently trying to prevent him from using that item! Introbulus decides to throw it, hitting DK!

    Saiyaman: That certainly sent DK flying! He almost out, but he's got a good grip on the ledge!

    Voice: Introbulus decides to take advantage of that fact and prepares his Ultimate Prod, but DK hits him as he clmbs up, stopping Introbulus from executing the move!

    Saiyaman: Introbulus stirkes back with a low Smash, knocking DK upward! He then hits DK in mid-air, sending him over the edge!

    Voice: DK comes back with the Spinning Kong, but Introbulus powers up the Ultimate Prod again...

    Saiyaman: It's good! DK is OUT!

    Voice: Here comes Bowser! He starts off with the Bowser Bomb, but Introbulus runs away from it, then hits Bowser with a Smash!

    Saiyaman: Bowser lands and uses the Fire Breath, scoring Introbulus, and follows up with the Claw Slash!

    Voice: Bowser throws Introbulus and it looks like he's going to fall out...no, wait, he used the Psychopath to get back on the ledge!

    Saiyaman: Introbulus slices up Bowser with his scyth, then throws him!

    IT: 113% B: 37%

    Voice: Bowser leaps with the Bowser Bomb again, but Introbulus fails to get away in time and goes flying out!

    Saiyaman: Luckily, he still had his extra life, so he comes back and uses the Scyth Whirwind on Bowser!

    Voice: He follows that up with a Generate Item, creating a Freezie! One good smack with that has frozen Bowser! Introbulus hits him a bit, but Bowser breaks free!

    Saiyaman: It looks like Introbulus was anticipating that, as he's used the Ultimate Prod on Bowser as he broke out! He's outta here!

    THE WINNER IS...INTROBULUS!

    Introbulus: Booya!

    Saiyaman: Congratulations.

    Introbulus: Maybe I can finally get some respect.

    Saiyaman: Eh, probably not. Let's review the application rules...

    (The blue screen appears again.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required.You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: So long, everyone! This is the Voice, off to get some food!

    Saiyaman: Buh-bye!

    Introbulus: Um...pineapples?

    (Fade out.)