Who Wants to be a Superpower?

Voice: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Superpower?", the show out to prove the networks, the critics and the major psychiatric authorites wrong! Now, here's your host, the Great Saiyaman!

(As usual, we open to the set. Saiyaman and Voice are in their usual spots.)

Saiyaman: Hi there, everyone! Welcome to another exciting show! Today, we've got a big announcement for you all!

Voice: What's that?

Saiyaman: Since this is the ninth episode, we're coming up to our tenth episode special! WOOOO-HOOOOO!

Voice: Wow. Never thought we'd make it that far.

Saiyaman: Oh yeah, we have! I've got a special guest planned for that episode, so you may want to see who it is. Also, Amber will be coming back to help host that show and another special event is planned for the episode after that!

Voice: Sounds like it's gonna be an interesting one.

Saiyaman: You bet, but we have to finish this one first. Now, let's introduce our contestant, Wargame!

(A wolf walks on stage and sits down.)

Wargame: Hey, dudes!

Voice: A wolf?

Saiyaman: Hey, he sent in the entry, he gets on the show. We're not biased by what race he is.

Wargame: Nicely said.

Saiyaman: Tell our audience a little about yourself.

Wargame: Well, as you may have guessed, I'm not just an ordinary wolf. I've been training for years to develop my powers!

Saiyaman: Wow, that sounds like it was hard.

Wargame: Well, no pain, no gain, y'know?

Saiyaman: True, very true.

Wargame: So, what am I playing for?

Saiyaman: Well, have you ever wanted a large fridge with all the bells and whistles you could ever want on it?

Wargame: Not really, but it'd be nice.

Saiyaman: You'd need something to put in there and that's our prize this week: a big bottle of cola! (Holds it up.)

Wargame: Hey, it's my favorite type too!

Voice: At least something good can come out the prize this time.

Saiyaman: You know how to play?

Wargame: Yeah, I answer some questions and beat up some fighters.

Saiyaman: That sums it up! Let's play "Who Wants to be a Superpower?"!

(Oooh, dimming lights and dramatic music!)

Saiyaman: Since we're too lazy to change the order, we're starting off with Knowledge! All set?

Wargame: Sure am!

Voice: When is Garfield the cat's birthday?

Wargame: June 19th.

Saiyaman: Where is the Aurora Borealis?

Wargame: Somewhere in the frozen north.

Voice: What is the Ninja Turtle's favorite food?

Wargame: Pizza.

Saiyaman: What is the last name of Tidus from FFX?

Wargame: Beats me. How often do video game characters have last names?

Voice: What are the cute, furry things on "Star Trek" that only eat and multiply?

Wargame: Tribbles.

Saiyaman: Where is the name of the car driven by Racer X?

Wargame: The Shooting Star.

TIME!!!

Mysterious Narrator: Unbeknowst to Speed, Racer X is actually Rex Racer, Speed's older brother who ran away from home years ago.

Saiyaman: That's not funny, Voice.

Voice: That wasn't me.

Wargame: So, that's what his name was.

Saiyaman: Anyways, you've passed, so let's move on to Creativity. This is your challenge: you must solve this puzzle! (Holds it out.)

Wargame: It's a Rubrix cube.

Saiyaman: Just try it, will you?

Wargame: Sure. (Starts messing with the puzzle.)

Voice: You've been slacking off on writing these creativity problems again, haven't you?

Saiyaman: Cut me some slack, Voice. I've have been busy recently. Besides, those things are darn near imposs-...

Wargame: Done.

Saiyaman: Wha?

Wargame: (holds the completed puzzle.) Do I win?

Saiyaman: Yeah, you won. Off you go.

(Wargame heads off for the arena.)

Voice: You could never solve one of those, could you?

Saiyaman: Shut up!

Voice: Fine.

Saiyaman: Anywho, the rules haven't changed. Three foes, two lives, no items. The moveset is as follows...

  • B: Knockout Punch (Falcon Punch)
  • Up + B: Explosive Leap (Sheik's Up + B with more power)
  • Down + B: Suction Shield (Ness' Down + B)
  • Forward + B: Spirit Ball (Shadow Ball on a straight line)

    Saiyaman: Once again, the arena is Final Destination. The foes are Tron Bonne, Kirby and Pichu. It seems that our first contestant will Kirby. Wargame's initals are WG. Thus, without further ado...

    ***Begin Corny Intro***

    Voice: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, random thingies that hang out here...

    Saiyaman: SSS, sponsored by nobody, brings you...

    Voice: THE BEST NARRATING VOICE, THE VOICE!

    Saiyaman: THE LEAST POPULAR DBZ CHARACTER, SAIYAMAN!

    Both: YOUR SSS COMMENTATORS!

    Saiyaman: And now for the hundreds in attendance...

    Voice: And for the thousands watching worldwide...

    Saiyaman: IT'S SMASHING TIME!

    ***End Corny Intro***

    Saiyaman: Kirby breaks out the special moves right away with Final Cutter, but Wargame just hops over that move and retaliates with Spirit Ball!

    Voice: Wargame tries a few slashes, but Kirby throws in some punches of his own and the Hammer!

    Saiyaman: Wargame's knocked back, but he lands on his feet and hits Kirby with a running attack! Kirby tries his Stone move, but Wargame just dodges that and throws him!

    Voice: Kirby goes flying, but as he lands, Wargame uses his Knockout Punch! Kirby is flying...again!

    Saiyaman: However, his floating ability allowed him to return to the platform, where he inhales Wargame and copies his Knockout Punch!

    WG: 34% K: 68%

    Voice: It looks like Kirby will never get the chance to use it, since Wargame just smacked him with an Explosive Leap! After that, he tries a Smash, but Kirby shields!

    Saiyaman: Kirby unshields to try and land a hit, but Wargame uses the Knockout Punch again, sending Kirby into the abyss!

    Kirby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *ping!*

    Voice: Here comes our next contestant, Tron! She starts off with a few punches, but somehow Wargame manages to throw her!

    Saiyaman: Her mighty mech's weight prevented her from going far and she comes back with the Bonne Strike, scoring a few hits!

    Voice: Wargame uses the Explosive Leap to get behind her, then uses a few punches and a Spirit Ball!

    Saiyaman: Tron tries her Rocket Punch, but Wargame pulls off a dodge to avoid and smacks her a bit more!

    WG: 74% TB: 38%

    Voice: Wargame seems to have the upper hand, throwing Tron, but Tron uses her might fists to blow some punches on him!

    Saiyaman: Wargame uses the Knockout Punch, but she's not going too far with that move! She lands and tries the Activate!, but it's a miss!

    Voice: Wargame is using his speed to land multiple blows, but Tron gets him with a throw! Wargame goes flying, but he still lands on the platform!

    Saiyaman: Uh-oh, it looks like Tron's had enough and Smashes Wargame as he gets up! Off he goes!

    Voice: He comes back on the platform and uses that invicibility to pummel Tron! Her damage meter is going way up!

    Saiyaman: Tron tries another Smash as the invicibility wears off, but Wargame just jumps back and uses his Spirit Ball! Tron's really in trouble now!

    Voice: True, but Wargame must still get her off the edge, which he's trying to do with another throw! She goes off, but her Kabun Kopter brings her back!

    Saiyaman: Wargame tries another throw, but this time, he throws her down, then hits her mid-air with Knockout Punch! It looks like Tron can't make it!

    Voice: She outta there, but now it's Pichu's turn! This should be good for a laugh!

    Saiyaman: You need to see someone about that, Voice. Anywho, Pichu fires off two Thunderjolts, but Wargame uses the Suction Shield to absorb them!

    Voice: I do not! Pichu tries to throw Wargame, but he just hops over him and does a low Smash! Pichu goes flying, but remains on the platform!

    Saiyaman: Pichu charges up the Skull Bash to full power, but Wargame uses his shield to absorb the blow, but just barely!

    WG: 0%D1 Pch: 26%

    Voice: Pichu runs toward Wargame and uses Thunder, striking a hit!

    Saiyaman: Wargame throws Pichu and runs after him! As Pichu comes down, he gets hit with a Smash!

    Voice: Pichu uses Agility, but his timing is off! Down he goes!

    THIS GAME'S WINNER IS...AL GORE!

    Saiyaman: What?

    I MEAN...WARGAME!

    Voice: Better.

    Wargame: Yee-hoo! That was great!

    Saiyaman: Another satisfied customer! Let's go to the blue screen...

    (The blue screen appears again.)

    If you would like to be a contestant on this show, please send an e-mail to Saiyaman with the subject “Contestant” to apply. Please include your name and some basic background information about yourself. Also, a list of B moves for the Battle section is required. You may pick the three opponents you wish to battle. They can be any SSS character you want, including dead ones. However, they can’t be all the same. Also, we have the right to place you against different opponents as we wish. Please note however, that we can’t actually make you a Superpower in any way. This is only for fun and you cannot receive nor donate any actual prizes in any way. Limit of one application per person. Extra applications from the same person will be deleted upon arrival.

    Voice: So long, everyone. This is the Voice, going to rewrite my resume.

    Saiyaman: See ya!

    Wargame: Buh-bye!

    (Fade out.)