The Question: Who's the real copycat, again?

The Fighters for Subcon

Player 1	Player 2

Knight9910: Welcome, one and all to an all new, exciting SSS match!

No cheering is heard. The camera pans out to show that the stands are empty.

Beam Knight: Don't feel bad for us. We didn't let anyone in because we like our personal space.

Knight9910: Right. Now then, as the two of you who the Neilsen Ratings say watch our show may know, I put together a match a while ago where these two fought. The match was shown on the air and soon after there was a flood of responses!

Beam Knight: One post on a message board.

Knight9910: That's a flood for me. Anyway, the response was unanimous: Introbulus thought the match was okay but could have been better.

Beam Knight: So Knight decided to make a new match. But unfortunately, Knight is lazy. In the end me and Kari had to hogtie him and drag him to the Stadium to record the match.

Knight9910: You didn't have to tie me to the bumper, you know.

Beam Knight: Yeah, I know.

Knight9910: It hurt.

Beam Knight: I'm sure.

Knight9910: I will kill the both of you someday.

Beam Knight: Not likely. Moving on! We finally got these two together, and this time we promise you a fair matchup! No dark tomes of mass destruction, no draws, none of that stuff! This will be a decisive battle that will decide once and for all who is the copycat! Right, Knight? Knight? Knight!

Knight9910: Huh? I am not in love with Link!

Beam Knight: Wha...Knight, what the Hell are you talking about?

Knight9910: Nothing! Let's go to Navi now who's with the fans! By the way, BK, you can't tell because she's so glowy, but did you know she's completely naked in her fairy form?

Beam Knight: Ahem. CUT TO NAVI. NOW.

Navi: Standing outside of the stadium, in a foot of snow surrounding by fans waiting to be let in. Knight9910, I hate you with every fiber of my being. Back to you.

Knight9910: What's her problem?

Beam Knight: Gee, I have no idea.

Knight9910: Me either. Anything else the fans should know?

Beam Knight: Just one thing. Just like before, Kirby will be allowed to use all of his abilities from his games, just like Mega.

Knight9910: Well, the fight is about to begin so for the millions we wouldn't let in to attend!

Beam Knight: And for the two watching worldwide (who's idea was it to put SSS in the same timeslot as Seinfeld anyway?)

IF (fight_ready_to_begin==1)
    {println: "Both: Let's get ready to rumble!";
    }
END;

Knight9910: I swear the fight starting pump-up shout gets stupider with every match I commentate.

Beam Knight: Agreed. But the match is beginning now. Megaman beams into the arena, followed shortly therafter by Kirby, who flies in on a warp star. Wait...interesting match intros? Knight, you idiot, you're using the N64 SSB system!

Knight9910: Oops! Knight unplugs the N64 and plugs in a Gamecube. Sorry, about that!

Beam Knight: You should be sorry. Thankfully the problem is solved and now the two both appear from trophy statues brought to life, like normal people should.

Knight9910: So sorry.

Megaman: You're going down this time, you lit...tle...hey, where's all the fans?

Kirby: Who cares! I'm still going to kick your butt!

Beam Knight: A little pre-fight discussion, but now they're getting down to business. Megaman begins this fight by charging his Mega Buster.

Knight9910: Kirby rushes in to interrupt but is blasted by a medium charged blast. He falls onto the center area.

Beam Knight: Megaman jumps in to attack but the Dreamlander recovers and swings his hammer.

Knight9910: Megaman shields against the hammer and retaliates by punching the Dreamlander repeatedly.

Beam Knight: Kirby breaks out of the combo by jumping away and lands on the pidgit's carpet.

Bill the Extra Guy: Get off my carpet, you jerk!

Knight9910: Ouch. And Kirby gets jackslapped by an irate pidgit!

Beam Knight: Not good times for the little puffball.

Knight9910: Not at all. He lands on the left side of the arena and rests for a moment.

Beam Knight: Megaman's certainly not letting up. He doesn't want to have his victory stolen away like last time. BK glares at Knight.

Knight9910: Hey, that was not my fault! How could I have known Kirby would dynamite them both into oblivion?

Beam Knight: Everything is your fault, Knight. You're the new Pat.

Knight9910: Whatever. Megaman rushes in only to get smashed by Kirby. But since he hasn't taken any damage until now he recovers quickly and moves in again.

Beam Knight: Kirby prepares another smash but Mega's ready this time. He slides past the Dreamlander and blasts him with an uncharged buster shot!

Knight9910: Kirby starts pulling out his abilities now. He turns and Burns into Megaman.

Beam Knight: They'd both better be careful! They're already off the viewing screen, a little further over and they could go out!

Knight9910: Mega attempts to end the match early with a throw but he misses the Dreamlander. Meanwhile, Kirby gently floats back towards the center of the arena.

Beam Knight: Megaman gives chase only to get zapped by Kirby's Beam ability. Megaman fires off a Crash Bomb, but Kirby skillfully jumps away.

Knight9910: He lands on the platform to the right as Birdo comes out. Kirby jumps on top of one of Birdo's eggs and picks it up, throwing it at Megaman.

Beam Knight: That's right! Birdo's eggs count as item carriers, just like Chansey's Eggs!

Knight9910: That's right, John Madden. And there was a pokeball inside that one.

Beam Knight: John Madden?

Knight9910: Mega throws the pokeball straight down and out comes...Celebi! It's Celebi!!

Beam Knight: Huh?

Knight9910: Quick! Pause it! Pause it! It's Celebi!

Beam Knight: Alright, Knight! I heard!

Knight9910: Do you know how rare that is?

Beam Knight: YES! He'll get a trophy and a Celebi Catcher bonus! Now shut up!

Knight9910: But...Celebi!

Beam Knight: Hush! Celebi is gone now! Megaman is attacking Kirby again!

Knight9910: Hmmph. Fine, ...jerk. Megaman kicks Kirby towards the right edge.

Beam Knight: I don't think this is going to last much longer. Kirby's getting desperate now. He blows ice breath at Mega, freezing him solid, and he tries to kick him into the pit, but Mega recovers and breaks out of the ice.

Knight9910: Megaman is mad now and is really starting to lay into Kirby. He slams his Knight Chain into Kirby, blasting him away. Well, it looks like the winner is--

Beam Knight: Wait! Kirby's back again!

Knight9910: Again? Geez, what is he Jason Voorhees?

Beam Knight: Apparently so! He floats back again and lands on the center platform. Mega rushes in...

Knight9910: And Kirby pulls out a microphone? Hey, can he use that ability?

Beam Knight: Well...we did say ALL of his abilities...

Kirby: Taps the microphone. ONNLLLYYYY YOOOOOOOUUUUUU!! CAN MAKE ME FEEEEEEEL THIS WAAAAAYYY!!!!

Beam Knight: Jesus Christ Superstar, is that terrible! Is that even a song?

Knight9910: I don't know but he broke the glass around the commentator booth....the THREE INCH THICK, EXPLOSION-PROOF glass.

Beam Knight: I think my ears are bleeding.

Knight9910: What?

Beam Knight: Nevermind. Mega doesn't appear to be well off either. He's stunned momentarily and Kirby is using the opportunity to attack! He smashes Megaman towards the edge of the arena now, hoping to put HIM out.

Knight9910: Mega manages to recover, but he's having a hard time. I think he's deafened temporarily.

Beam Knight: Kirby's using that to his advantage, rolling around Mega and hitting him in the back.

Knight9910: Kirby uses the built up static charge from rolling with his plasma ability. Mega is sent flying to the left side of the arena, but not out!

Megaman: Rush! Help!

Beam Knight: Megaman uses his Super Adaptor. Unfortunately, he still can't hear anything.

Knight9910: But he can still kick butt! He uses the Mega Punch, knocking Kirby over to the other side of the screen!

Beam Knight: Birdo appears again. Kirby catches an egg and tosses it down. It's...another book?

Knight9910: Imagine that.

Beam Knight: KNIGHT!

Knight9910: You just said no Grimoire! You said nothing about the Necronomicon!

Beam Knight: Wait, you gave them the NECRONOMICON? Do you have any idea the horror you have unleashed upon the world?

Knight9910: Not really.

Beam Knight: Kirby's reading the book. Stop you idiot!

Knight9910: That's what he's saying? I thought he was reading the Good Will Hunting screenplay backwards in pig-latin.

Beam Knight: W-what?

Knight9910: Huh?

Beam Knight: Wha--stop it!

Knight9910: Look! The sky is turning black and the waterfall has turned to blood!

Beam Knight: That's it. We're all doomed.

Knight9910: And look! Now the dark demon lord has awoken from his terrible prison and is raining down unholy fury upon the land! Wow, sure sucks for Subcon.

Beam Knight: I admire your persistence in continuing to commentate when we're about to DIE, but could you maybe do something to STOP THIS?

Knight9910: Like?

Beam Knight: Like...I don't know!

Megaman: Now's my chance! While he's distracted! Megaman shoots a fully charged Pharoah Shot.

Knight9910: Look! The light energy of the Pharoah Shot neutralized the dark power! The demon lord has disappeared back into the Plane of Infinite Torture!

Megaman: And now it's your turn, puffball!

Knight9910: Another Pharoah Shot and Kirby is out!

Beam Knight: He did it! Amazing! After all that, Megaman beat Kirby! He--

Megaman jumps to the center of the stage to taunt, but steps on his Crash Bomb from earlier and is blasted out the top of the arena. He just happens to go out at the exact same time as Kirby.

Knight9910: Uh...huh...

Beam Knight: Wow...that was strikingly anticlimactic.

Knight9910: I guess this means...

Beam Knight: That went the exact same way the last one did...

Knight9910: Relax, John Madden. At least Subcon is saved from the evil demon lord we indirectly set loose upon it.

Beam Knight: I hate you, Knight. Leaves.

Knight9910: Well, guess that's all for tonight, folks! See ya!

Knight9910: Hi, folks. I'm Knight9910, but you probably know me as Knight9910, as seen on TV.

Beam Knight: And I'm Beam Knight. Tonight's episode of Super Smash Stadium dealt with a lot of serious issues like demon summoning and forbidden robot on hylian love.

Knight9910: But there's nothing more serious then abandoning your friends. What I did to Navi and all our fans by locking them out was a very bad thing.

Beam Knight: That's right, Knight. We did this today to teach the children a valuable lesson, and that is that it's not good to--

Navi: You two! I had to break the door down to get in and now you are going to die!

Knight9910: Run?

Beam Knight: Run!

Both: Ahhhhh!!! They run.

Navi: You're not getting away that easy! She chases after them as the camera fades to black.