This game's winner is...

MR. GAME & WATCH!

Player 1	Player 2	Player 3	Player 4
		?????????	?????????
Mario: First Strike: 500 Sacrificial KO: 1500 First to Fall: -1000 Item-less: 1800 Item Self-Destruct: -1000 Fall Guy: -500 Master of Disaster: -1000 KOs: 1000 Falls: -1000 SDs: -500 Total: -200	Mr. Game & Watch: Exceptional Aim: 4000 Instant Poser: 100 Star KO: 300 Special KO: 800 Materialist: 100 Beam Swordsman: 800 KO Master: 1500 Kos: 1000 Falls: -1000 Total: +6100	Did Not Participate	Did Not Participate

That was a great match! Now, let's go to Bla-

You call that a match, Swordblade?

Nobody asked you, Zer. *turns off radio*

What the $%$& was that supposed to do?

GAH! IT'S CURSED! *chops radio in half*

Swordblade, he's behind you...

He is? Oh, yeah, he is. I knew that. I was just testing you. *grabs Zero*

Swordblade, don't throw him out the window. it's completely unoriginal.

Fine. *throws Zero through the skylight*

I'm still here...

Then... who did I throw through the skylight?

I dunno... (leaves)

(X-Files theme plays)

We have a skylight in here?

We do now.

...

As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted... my partner Blast Rat is in the Mario Bros. Team locker room with Mario.

Thanks, Swordblade. Mario, what do you think caused you to lose this match?

I-a think I was-a screwed over by the-a items. The-a Bomb-Omb set totally threw off my-a momentum.

Hah! You-a lost fair and-a square, Mario. You-a just won't admit it.

Oh, a-be quiet, you tropical fruit-a. If I wanted your-a opinion, i wouldv'e-a given it to you.

Sibling squabble, Round Way-to-high-to-count. Begin! *ding ding ding*

It's starting to get hectic in here... I'm bailing. Back up to the booth.

Thanks, BR. Get up here soon, I don't want to have to rebuild you again.

Now let's go to Return Gull, who is outside Mr. Game & Watch's locker room.

Maria, I am standing outside Mr. Game & Watch's locker room, and it appears he is not alone! let's take a look-see, shall we?

That was a pretty easy match. Pauline, that ex-boyfiend plumber of your's is a pushover! How did he get so popular?

I wouldn't say he was pshover. if you did push him over, it'd cause an earthquake!

*Laughs* THAT was good. Wait a minute... Hey, you at the door! It's a peeping Tom!

Hmph! If you're going to insult me, at least use proper names! More like Peeping Tabatha, but NOT Peeping Tom.

OK then, "Peeping Tabatha", have some of THIS! JUDGEMENT!

One order of roast seagull, coming right up!

*static*

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid we've lost contact with Return Gull.

$#(+! That's gonna take time to fix...

Well, that's all the time for tonight. For Blast Rat and the incapacitated Return Gull, I'm Maria Winterblossom.

And i'm Baratus Swordblade II. Good night, everybody.

Wait! You forgot the questions!

1) Why were Swordblade and Maria commentators? Why not us, or Return and Blast?
2) Was Mario cheated by the weapons, or is he just whining?
3) What was Pauline doing in G&W's locker room other than insulting Mario?
4) Why Party Balls? Why not Party Cubes, or Party Pyramids?
5) Why is Swordblade coming up with such lame jokes?

You done?

Yeah. You can leave now, folks.