Gorb: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another
riveting edition of Super Smash Stadium. I will be your commentator and host, ruler
of the 7th dimension, Gorblax the Invincible.
Blax: Ignore my stuck-up split personality. I'm Blax, the wild side of Gorblax,
and tonight we've got one heck of a match! That's right, it's catfight number 3!
MEOW!
Gorb: It shall be an honorable duel between Princess Zelda
and Malon of Lon-Lon Ranch, in order to determine which of these two fair maidens
will bask in Link's affection.
Blax: Basically, who get's to be Link's babe. Captain
Churro, roll clip!
Churro: Aye aye, Cap'n!
*begin tape*
Lara Croft: Oh, Marth, you really are an expert sword handler!
*end tape*
Blax: Oops, he-he. Wrong clip.
Gorb: Captain Churro! How any times have I told you to stop mixing Blax's videos!?
Churro: Umm... FLY AWAY!!! *flies away*
Blax: I think I've found the real clip! 5,4,3,2, hey, where's "one?"
Gorb: Quiet, it's starting! My, this is odd. I'm talking to myself.
*begin tape*
Zelda: Malon, what are you doing?
Malon: Oh, just thinking about how I saved Link from X.
Zelda: What!? I rescued him! I was doing all of the
fighting!
Malon: Well, I was controlling you. Besides, Link likes
me the most.
Zelda: I think it's time we turn this love triangle
into a line segment once and for all! I'll see you on Peach's Castle!
Malon: I'm game!
Link: Hey, don't I get a say in this? Girls, wait up!
*end tape*
Blax: What's a line segment?
Gorb: (Ignoring Blax) For the viewer's approval, I present to you Malon's special
attacks.
B: Lon-Lon Milk: 10% chance ove losing 15% damage
B>: Bow: Like Link's Bow
Bv: Call Link: Link falls
from the sky using his down-A Attack and then leaves.
B^: Sing: Like Jigglypuff's Lullaby
Gorb: And now, without further ado...
Blax: Wait! We haven't gone over the rules! It'll be a 2-life match, with only healing
items and one "mystery item" in a capsule. And NOW, LET'S GET READY TO SMASH IT!
Gorb: That was the Koopaling's copyrighted line!
Blax: Keyword: WAS!
Gorb: I've never been fond of fighting. Get another commentator.
Blax: Who?
Gorb: CHURRO!
Churro: What now?
Gorb: Commentate this match!
Churro: Yes, sir! Zelda starts off with a Din's Fire,
but Malon calls Link, who gets in the way!
Link: OW!
Blax: Is that legal?
Gorb: Yes, perfectly. This is a fan match, so not too many rules apply.
Churro: Now, Malon and Zelda meet up , and are using
basic attacks on each other.
Blax: Do they notice the Bullet Bill coming right towards them?
Churro: Methinks it's time to throw in an item! I don't want any cheap deaths!
Blax: Since when are you concerned with clean fights?
Churro: I'm part Fred, remember? (Throws in a heart container)
Blax: The girls make a mad dash for the heart!
Zelda: Back off, farm girl! That thing's mine!
Blax: Zelda knocks Malon right into the exploding Bullet
Bill! That's gotta hurt! Zelda takes the container,
and Malon just grabs the ledge!
Mal: 63 Z:0
Churro: Malon takes a drink of Lon Lon Milk, but nothing happens.
Blax: But that bought time for Zelda to teleport towards
Malon using Farore's Wind!
Churro: Uh-oh. She accidentally teleported over the ledge!
Mal: 63 Z: 0, D1
Gorb: This is mindless brutality! That poor Malon is in agony! Here, catch this
capsule!
Blax: I hope you-I mean I-I mean-oh, whatever! Know that's the mystery item. And
that thing'll cause even more damage.
Churro: What's in it?
Blax: You'll see...
Gorb: She has the capsule, and Zelda has returned!
Malon opens it, and, my word!
Churro: I don't recognize it.
Blax: It's a box of Chaos Emeralds! It is an official item, after all... hey, Malon
kinda looks like a female Super Saiyan now!
Churro: Vegeta won't like this...
Blax: Malon is pummeling Zelda! It's moments like this
that make commentating worthwhile.
Mal: 63 Z: 72, D1
Malon: Now for the finisher! CHAOS CONTROL!!!
Churro: Using Sonic's ability of Chaos Control, Malon has teleported
Zelda over the ledge again!
Zelda: Oh, SH-
THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... MALON!!!
Post Match:
Malon: How do you like me now, Link?
Link? Hey, who's that girl you're with?
Link: Oh? This is Marin, from Koholint Island.
Malon: But wasn't that just a dream?
Marin: If Birdo, Bill, and Dr. Donez can escape from a dream world, then so can
I.
Link: After seeing you and Zelda
fight, I realized who my true love really was.
Malon: What the...? Well, if I can't have you, nobody can! Link,
Marin, I challenge you two to a fight! Are you with me, Zelda?
Zelda: *sighs* That Marth is so dreamy...
Malon: I guess I'll have to find a different partner...
Gorb: I believe that I shall take the responsibility for asking the questions.
1. Was the match unfair?
2. Did you like the return of the Chaos Emeralds?
3. Were there too many inside jokes?
4. Who will Malon's partner be?
5. (Sigh) will I ever be separated from Blax?
Blax: Kinda, aw yeah!, no, Young Link, and hopefully.
Churro: Yes, I still don't know what Chaos Emeralds are, I didn't see any,
Peach, and sadly, no. This is Captain Churro and, umm,
Al Gore, signing off. FLY AWAY!!! *flies away*
DBZ Announcer: Next time, on Gorblax's Fan SSS, Malon teams up with a mysterious
partner to defeat Link and Marin! However, an old enemy
has other plans... find out what happens in Gorblax's next match!
Janitor: Who are you talking to? Everyone's gone. What are you anyway? Some kinda
psycho fortune teller?
DBZ Announcer: Umm, gotta go!
Janitor: You could at least throw out your popcorn! Supid litterbugs...