Churro: Last time, on Gorblax's
Fan SSS...
*Start Clip*
Malon: -Besides, Link likes me the most.
Zelda: -I'll see you at Peach's castle!
Blax: It's a box of Chaos emeralds!
Malon: -CHAOS CONTROL!
THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... MALON!
Link: -This is Marin from Koholint Island. -After seeing
you and Zelda fight,
I realized who my true love really was.
Malon: -I challenge both of you to a match!
*End Clip*
Blax: So who's Malon's new partner?
Churro: You'll see in this next clip!
*Start Clip*
Malon: You may be wondering why I asked you to come here...
ROY!!! *Dramatic music*
Roy: Where's that coming from? *looks around*
Stop it, Reid!
Reid: Fine... *grumbles*
Roy: Hey, I saw your match against
Zelda. You want me to be your partner because I'm the
strongest one here at SSS.
Malon: Actually, It's because Young Link was busy...
Roy: Well, I don't have a reason to help you. What's
in it for me?
Malon: *Gives Roy a long, passionate kiss*
Roy: I'll do it! I'll do it!
*End Clip*
Gorb: The rules of today's fight are as follows: It shall take place upon Final
Destination, there shall be 3 lives per fighter, and all items are off. And so,
without further ado...
Blax: Wait!
Gorb: *Sighs* What now?
Blax: We haven't gone over Marin's B-Moves yet!
B-Link's Awakening- eliminates all status changes
B-Sideways-Cucco Attack- Shorter and weaker version of Beedril from SSB
B-Down- Koholint Nightmare- Works like Jigglypuff's Rest
B-Up-Ballad of the Wind Fish- Like Jigglypuff's Sing
Blax: And now, LET'S GET READY TO SMASH IT!!!
Bowser: How dare you steal my sons' line, Thumb Tacks!
I'll see you in the ring!
Churro: It appears we have a new match, but let's get
back to this one. Marin gets the match going with a Cucco Attack!
Blax: Roy Counters, and Malon Calls
Link!
Churro: Hey, that's Young Link!
I thought he was busy...
VGW: Don't you just hate plot holes?
Kirbetty: You can say that again.
VGW: I was talking to Daffy Duck.
Exor: Care for another spot of tea, X?
Young Link: This Cucco stabbing is addictive! I
think I'll stick around for some more! Mwa ha ha!
Blax: Talk about blood thirst. That cancels out any Cucco Attacks.
Gorb: Link and Roy engage
in a traditional sword duel. Link attempts a Sword Spin,
but Roy Counters.
Blax: Malon and Marin, getting too close to the sword fight, get knocked off of
the ledge. They sing each other to sleep, and both lose a life!
L: 52% R: 37% Mal: 0%, D1
Mar: 0%, D1
Link: I think I'm gonna need some help. Hey,
Young Link!
Churro: Link has sacrificed
one of his lives to bring in Young Link to his team!
Young Link is in the fray! I bet Malon's sorry she
called him now!
Blax: The girls' invincibility stages have ended, and Malon is singing the
Links to sleep. Now, while Malon keeps Marin busy,
Roy is charging up...
Churro: But Marin uses Link's
Awakening, and the two Hylians wake up! Young Link
immediately jumps out of the way, but Link is hit, and
he's out!
L:0%, D2 R: 56% Mal: 23%,
D1 Mar: 37%, D1 YL: 16%
Blax: Young Link is coming towards Malon, with an
evil glint in his eyes! Malon better think up something quick...
Churro: She has! Malon does her call
Link move, and Young Link
instinctively goes into his down-A move and jumps off the ledge!
Malon: Malon 2, Mini-Me 0!
Blax: Link has returned, and is about to re-start his
duel with Roy... wait a minute, what's happening to
Marin?
Marin: (In strangely deep voice) I can stand this charade no longer! It's time to
reveal myself!
Blax: If she means what I think she means, turn off the cameras! This a PG show!
Churro: No, she's... Exploding!
Roy is caught in the explosion and loses a life!
Blax: (cough cough) The dust is clearing! Oh, @#$%! By the goddesses of the Triforce,
Marin is really... Ganondorf!!! *Dramatic Music plays*
Churro: Reid!
Reid: Sheesh! Why can't anyone appreciate my talent? All I ever wanted was a friend..
*sniffs*
Blax: Wow. I never knew Lord Reid was so deep.
Reid: Mmmm....... toothpaste.......
Blax: Then again...
Link: But why, Ganondorf?
Why did you disguise yourself as Marin?
Ganondorf: I was planning if I disguised myself as her,
we would be alone without that pesky Zelda, and I could
grab the opportunity to destRoy you once and for all!
Then that pesky Malon chalenged me to a fight, and I just can't pass up a duel!
If it wasn't for her, you would be dead by now!
Roy: Who is this nutjob?
Link: My arch nemesis.
Roy: I bet I can defeat him before you!
Link: You're on! But first... Malon!
Malon: What?
Link: Get out of here! I don't want you getting hurt!
Malon: Fine! Now for the 3 magic words... I give up! (poof)
R: 0%, D1 L: 0%, D2
G: 37%, D1 Mal(OUT) YL(OUT)
Blax: Ganondorf uses his Wizard's foot on
Roy, and Roy (gasp) forgot
to Counter!
Churro: But Link takes this
opportunity to shoot a few Light Arrows at Ganondorf!
Blax: Now, Roy is using his Dancing Blade on
Ganondorf, but he puts up his shield!
Churro: Link takes out a bomb
and throws it, but it goes sailing over Ganondorf's
head!
Ganondorf: Not so high and mighty without your z-targeting,
are you Link?
Link: Okay, NOW I'm angry!
Blax: Link goes charging at Ganondorf,
and the three are now in a huge brawl!
Churro: I've got an idea how to get rid of
Ganondorf! (whispers to Gorblax)
Gorb: Although it's bending a few rules...
Blax: ...I love it!
Churro: (throws down a mushroom)
Ganondorf: a Super Mushroom! How kind of you,
Churro! Mwa ha ha!
Blax: Just as expected, Ganondorf pushes the others
out of the way to grab
it... and Roy goes off the ledge? That wasn't part
of the plan!
L: 32%, D2 R: 0%, D2
G: 56%, D1
Ganondorf: It's MINE, mine, mine! Huh? What in the name
of Hyrule is going on?
Blax: Ganondorf, thinking it was a Super Mushroom, grabbed
a Poison Mushroom! Roy: Now to finish you off! (sword
starts to glow)
Link: Hey, Mini-Dorf! You want a piece of me?
Ganondorf: I'll show you, Link!
Blax: Link has provided a distraction as
Roy powers up his trademark Flare Blade!
Bowser: Speaking of trademarks, (ahem)
Blax: Churro, you find a partner to cover the rest of
the match. I've gotta go.
Churro: (Points to audience) Eenie, Meenie, Minee, MOE!
Mario: Who is it?
Churro: Didn't I just say? Moe!
Eenie, Meenie, and Minee: Aww...
Moe: Woohoo! Anyway, Roy is finished powering up, and
there's a huge explosion! Ganondorf is gone!
L: 37%, D2 R: 0%, D2
G: 0%, D2
Churro: Link and
Roy give eachother a quick high five, and
Ganondorf returns!
Ganondorf: Now, the greatest transformation of all time!
Churro: Another transformation? What does
Ganondorf think this is, A Squaresoft game?
Moe: Holy Cow!
Holy Cow: Thou shalt feedeth me grass.
Moe: Final Destination is crumbling under the power of the transformation!
Roy: Oh, great. Now what do we do?
Link: We jump!
Roy: But we'll die!
Link: Not if we take the tractor beam from the bottom
of the arena going down to the ground.
Roy: But where does it lead to?
Link: I... don't know! But we'll find out! JUMP!!!
Roy: Okay, okay!
Churro: the two heroes jump of, heading towards the beam,
but Roy misses!
Roy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(whump)
L: 37%, D2 G:???
R(OUT)
Moe: Link takes the beam and ends up in... Endless Field?
Go figure.
Churro: Wait! Ganondorf made
it too, and his transformation is complete!
Ganondorf has become... Ganon!
...
Moe: ...
Crowd: ...
Ganon: ...
Link: ...
Malon: ...
Chrono: ...
Reid: I told you I wouldn't do it anymore.
*Everyone falls over Anime style*
Link: Stupid realistic combat! I'm out of Light Arrows,
and I can't find my Master Sword!
Ganon: *Holds up Master Sword* Oh, you mean THIS!?
Churro: Ganon just crushed
the Master Sword into a tiny ball of steel!
Ganon: Here, catch! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
Link: Oh, great. And I only had four more payments left
on that thing! Well, tehere's only one option left...
Churro: Suicide?
Moe: No, Link is putting on the Firce Deity Mask! He now
has the Helix Sword, which is even more powerful than the Master Sword!
Ganon: Two can play at that game! (Takes out two giant
Beam Swords)
Moe: Now, the real battle begins! I'm on the edge of my seat!
*six hours later...*
Churro: Zzz...
Moe: *yawns* I hate realistic battles. Ganon
and Link are evenly matched! Let's check with the score
board to see how much damage they would have if they WEREN'T on Endless Field. Man,
they don't call it endless for nothing.
L: 999%, D2 G: 999%, D2
Zelda: (from the crowd) That's it! I've just about
had it! PURPLE SAGE WISDOM TRIFORCE BEAM TYPE THINGY!!!!!
Moe: Ganon's been parylyzed!
Link: *heroicly slashes at Ganon*
Moe: Critical hit! It's super effective!
Jay Resop: Too...much...Pokemon lingo! *jumps out the window*
Ganon: I'll be baaaaaaaaaack!
Link: I know, but when?
Moe: As soon as the SSS makes him an official fighter, I guess.
THIS GAME'S WINNERS ARE... PEOPLE WHO DON'T DO DRUGS!!! I mean...
ZELDA AND LINK!!!
Post Match:
Link: Malon, I'm sorry for treating you like such a jerk.
Will you forgive me?
Malon: Of couse Link. (the two ride on Epona into the
sunset)
Roy: Wait, Malon! I THOUGHT
WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!
Blax: I'm back.
Churro: Zzz... I'm awake! I'm awake!
Moe: so... who won?
Blax: Well, I pretty much stink at fighting, so I couldn't hurt
Bowser at all. However, I am invincible, hence the name,
so he couldn't hurt me at all. so we decided to flip a coin. I won. Woohoo! Of course,
if Adam Cooper comes to hunt me down, I'll just blame it on
Bowser.
Gorb: I'm a little teapot, short and stout...
Churro: What's with him?
Blax: Insanity from having little to no part in everything. Nothing a few sessions
of therapy won't fix.
Gorb: I get to ask the questions because Blax said I was "special." Nya ha!
1. Do flying monkeys eat flying bananas?
2. Why do 24 hour stores have locks on the doors?
3. Where do babies come from?
4. Speaking of babies, if olive oil is made of olives, what is baby oil made out
of?
5. On "The Simpsons," Proffessor Frink always says "glavin." What exactly does "glavin"
mean?
Blax: I'm not even going to bother answering those. G'night, every body!
Churro: Good night... Zzz...