Match #112

The Question: Who was the greatest fighter from Super Mario RPG?

The Fighters:

Mario Mallow Geno Peach Bowser

The Arena: Mushroom Kingdom (SSBM-style)
Item Ratio: None
HP: 150

Amber: Welcome, everyone! Today's match is sure to bring back some fond memories of the SNES days.

Saiyaman: Actually, it turns out we don't have a video of the events this time around. However, we do have a recreation of the event on video...unfortunately.

Amber: Why "unfortunately"?

Saiyaman: See for yourself. (pops the video in.)

(On the video, we see plushies of Mario, Mallow, Geno, Bowser and Peach up on a table.)

Mario Plushie: It sure is-a nice to have you come visit, Mallow.

Mallow Plushie: I agree. It reminds me of the good old days when we fought Smithy.

Bowser Plushie: Of course, without me on your team, you never could've beaten him.

Peach Plushie: Bowser, please, I don't want you starting a fight over this. Let's try a friendly get-together for once.

Mario Plushie: Yeah, keep it-a down!

Bowser Plushie: Fine, fine...wimps.

Geno Plushie: Actually, that gives me an idea. Maybe we could have a friendly little match between us to see who the best of us was.

Bowser Plushie: Me, of course, but I like the idea.

Mallow Plushie: I guess it'd be okay.

Peach Plushie: All right. At least it's better than a bar room brawl.

Mario Plushie: Okay, let's a-go!

(The tape ends.)

Amber: Okay, whose idea was it to do that with plushies?

Saiyaman: You get one guess.

Amber: Oh...maybe we should get to the fight details.

Saiyaman: Good idea. Given the RPG nature of this fight, we're going with the Stamina mode and the standard 150 HP for this one.

Amber: Given where Super Mario RPG takes place, the arena will be the Mushroom Kingdom. Items have been turned off for this fight.

Saiyaman: Since Mallow has only been here once before, here's his moveset again, modified slightly.

  • B: Shocker - Fires a lightning bolt in one of eight directions.
  • B+Up: Cloud Ride - Rides a cloud upward.
  • B+Side: Gale - Creates a short burst of wind in front of Mallow, acting like Mario's Cape.
  • B+Down: Star Rain - A star falls wherever Mallow stands. (Star is three times Mallow's size.)

    Amber: Okay, here come the combatants into the arena. Time to get started!

    Saiyaman: Ladies and gentlemints...

    Amber: Boys and girls...

    Saiyaman: Thwomps and Wigglers...

    Amber: SSS has brought to you, disease-free...




    Amber: For the sixty-seven thousand in attendance...

    Saiyaman: And for the two-hundred, fifty-eight thousand in attendance...


    Saiyaman: Your own opening line? Nice.

    Amber: Thanks. I just made it up on the spot.

    Saiyaman: Now, for the commentary. Mario hops up on top of the blocks and leaps towards Bowser with his Mario Tornado, missing, while Geno is blown back by Mallow's Gale attack! While Mallow's doing that, Peach sneaks up on him and slams him with Hip Bomber!

    Amber: Bowser flings himself at Mario with a Bowser Bomb, crashing down to the arena's ground level! Mallow falls to mid-level from Peach's attack as Peach drops down with him and attacks him again with her Parasol!

    Saiyaman: Mario throws a Meteor Attack at Bowser, who just rolls to avoid and fries Mario with his Fire Breath! Geno, off to the right side, sends a Geno Whirl at Peach, catching both her and Mallow in the mid-sized explosion!

    Amber: Mallow boogies after Geno, dodging a Geno Beam and hitting from above! Bowser goes back to his old ways and grabs Peach, but throws her into Mario, who shields against her!

    Saiyaman: Mario then turns on Peach, begining with a Fireball that Peach shields, followed by a running attack that hits! Bowser pulls himself up and hits Peach with Fire Breath as Geno grabs Mallow and throws him down!

    Amber: Mallow attacks Geno with his Gale attack as Mario hops over and attacks with a Super Jump Punch! He misses and Geno attacks him with Geno Blast while Peach fends Bowser with a Vegetable!

    "Can someone help me find the 50th Boo?" ~Milo
    HP: 115
    HP: 102
    HP: 139
    HP: 101
    HP: 145

    Saiyaman: Geno's attack connects and Mario is knocked into the nearby blocks with Mallow trying to hit the passing Mario with Star Rain! He misses, but nicks Geno instead! Peach leaps over to join that fray with Bowser in hot pursuit!

    Amber: Mario catches himself before he flies off the edge while Mallow attacks Geno and Peach with Shocker! As Mario sneaks back in and catches Mallow in a Mario Tornado, Bowser spins in with Whirling Fortress, getting Peach, but not Geno, who shielded!

    Saiyaman: Peach flings herself at Bowser with a Hip Bomber and scores a hit as Mallow throws out another Star Rain! Mario rolls back and avoids the hit, but it manages to smack Geno and Peach!

    Amber: Bowser leaps himself back to the middle of the arena on top of the blocks with Peach going after him! Mario also decides to get a little personal space and dashes along the bottom of the arena middle with Geno following!

    Saiyaman: Mallow throws out a Star Rain above, but Bowser shields and Peach dodges, only causing the blocks to be destroied! The two of them fall down, but as Mallow hits Peach with a Shocker, Bowser uses a Bowser Bomb on Mallow!

    Amber: Over with Geno and Mario, Mario throws a Fireball at Geno, who leaps over them and scores a hit from above! Mario then grabs Geno in a Mario Tornado, knocking him upward and causing Geno to head towards the right!

    Saiyaman: Mallow and Geno land near each other, with Geno acting first by tossing Mallow into Mario! Meanwhile, Peach uses Toad to counter-attack Bowser's Fire Breath!

    "Got an invention? Contact Drake about Patents."
    HP: 92
    HP: 72
    HP: 95
    HP: 61
    HP: 118

    Amber: With Bowser stunned by the attack, Peach rushes in for a grab, but Bowser rolls back from the move and uses the Koopa Claw on Peach! As he bites and crushes her, Mario and Mallow hit each other with their Cape and Gale moves!

    Saiyaman: Geno powers himself up with a Geno Boost, then leaps towards Peach and connects with a low Smash! Peach then rolls behind Geno, leaving him to be grabbed by Bowser!

    Amber: Bowser heaves Geno at Peach while Mario's Mario Tornado is evaded by Mallow and his Cloud Ride! This brings him over to Bowser, where he throws a few punches while Bowser's back is still turned!

    Saiyaman: Bowser turns towards Mallow and uses Fire Breath on him, to which Mallow shields! Mallow grabs hold of Bowser while Geno throws Peach downward, causing her to back off for a bit to the left side of the arena.

    Amber: Just as Mallow throws Bowser to the right, Mario leaps over Bowser and hits Mallow with a Meteor Smash! This is quickly followed with a Cape and Super Jump Punch combo on the poor guy!

    Saiyaman: Bowser bashes through Mario with a running attack as he comes down, leaving Mario vunerable to a Smash attack from the recovered Mallow! Mario fires back with Fireballs at both Mallow and Bowser, Mallow shielding and Bowser hit!

    Saiyaman: Geno, having moved closer to the arena's righ side, takes the opportunity to power up a Geno Whirl to full power, steering into Mario and Mallow! Mario shields the attack, only to have the shield break, while Mallow is severly wounded!

    Amber: As Peach reaches for a Vegetable to toss, Bowser leaps over and smashes into her with a running attack! This takes out the last of Peach's HP!

    Gore-Al's Inventions: We invented this board!
    HP: 75
    HP: 17
    HP: 86
    HP: 103

    Saiyaman: Geno now leaps over to Mario and Mallow, laying down a few punches on Mallow! This buys Mario enough time to recover, but Mallow runs out of HP!

    Amber: Mario begins to make a move on Geno and Bowser, smacking Geno with his Cape and powering up a Smash! Geno sees that, rolls back and leaps away from Bowser's Whirling Fortress! Mario's Smash, however, doesn't connect with Bowser.

    Saiyaman: Bowser's attack puts him up on top of the first level of blocks, so Geno leaps up there and fires off a Geno Beam! His attack doesn't hit Bowser, who leapt away, but it did hit Mario who had tried attacking with a Super Jump Punch!

    Amber: As Bowser makes a swipe at Geno from a jump, Geno backs off to ground-level and strikes Mario with Geno Blast, knocking him back! A good running attack and follow-up punch sends Mario retreating to the right arena edge!

    Saiyaman: Bowser decides to take advantage of the weaked Mario, dashing at him and avoiding a Geno> Whirl in the process! Mario flings his Cape at Bowser, who dodges and strikes with a Bowser Bomb!

    Amber: As Geno heads over, Bowser uses his Koopa Claw to bite at Mario a few times before heaving him! Mario smacks into Geno, who automatically responds with a Smash, KOing Mario!

    "Come to the ninja ramen shop! It'll make you BELIEVE IT!"- Ninja Ramen Shop
    HP: 86
    HP: 103

    Saiyaman: Down to our last two contestants, Bowser takes the fight to Geno with his Bowser Bomb! Geno can't move fast enough to avoid the hit, but he does give a quick upwards Smash to Bowser!

    Amber: Bowser is knocked upward, but pulls off a mid-air dodge to evade Geno's follow-up jump attack! However, the delay of the dodge gives Geno time to hit with a Geno Beam!

    Saiyaman: Unfortunately, Bowser lands and rolls close enough to attack, slicing in with a Whirling Fortress! He then traps Geno with a rapid series of slices!

    Amber: Geno breaks out with a quick low attack, grabbing Bowser and hitting with multiple smacks! His last blow knocks Bowser away, so he powers himself up with the Geno Boost!

    Saiyaman: With his added power, Geno goes in for a Smash attack, but before he can do so, Bowser grabs and throws him to the right! This close to the edge, Geno flies off the right side for a KO!


    Saiyaman: Now, let's turn it over to Navi to see how our contestants feel. Navi?

    Navi: Thanks, guys. I'm here with Bowser, our big winner today. Bowser, how do you feel having beaten all the good guys today?

    Bowser: Excellent. My sheer strength and skill made the outcome quite clear to me.

    Mario: It was-a not that clear! You were just-a lucky!

    Navi: Whoa, I can see why you're upset.

    Mario: I-a refuse to lose to him again!

    Navi: What are your thoughts, guys?

    Peach: I don't mind it too much. I was more the healer than fighter.

    Mallow: I'm okay with this too. I've been away too long to have really gotten back into the swing of it.

    Geno: I'm just as tough as he is. I'm certain I'd have won if it was one-on-one from the start.

    Navi: Back to you.

    Amber: Now, why don't we go to questions?

  • 1. Who do you think was the best Mario RPG fighter?
  • 2. Can you guess who did the puppet show for our backstory?
  • 3. Should Geno and Bowser go one-on-one?
  • 4. Will Mario defeat Bowser next time?
  • 5. If Geno ever saw a doll of himself, would that be like an out-of-body experience for him?

    Saiyaman: That's all for today here at SSS! So long, everyone!

    Amber: Bye!

    (The cameras go off. All that can be seen is a blank screen.)

    Amber: So, now what?

    Saiyaman: I dunno. The match is over and we got nothing else for today.

    Amber: Hey, I've got an idea. It's just us here and nobody else will be by here today...

    Saiyaman: Are you thinking what I think you are?

    Amber: Hey, it's been a while since we made out.

    Saiyaman: Aw, heck with it! C'mere, kitty cat!

    Amber: Mrrrow!

    (Several kissing sounds are heard.)

    Amber: Hey, um, hate to interrupt, but what's that light for?

    Saiyaman: What light?

    Amber: That one right there.

    Saiyaman: Oh, that means the sound's...still...on...AUGH!

    Amber: Eeeeekkk! You mean people heard all that?

    Saiyaman: Where's the stinking "off" button for that? This one?

    (The last sound heard is a button being smacked as the mike turns off.)