Match 114
Mario Bros vs. New Pioneers

(In Game Guru's office, GG is at his desk, talking to what looks to be an old turtle in a top hat)

GG: I am honored for this visit, Mayor Tortimer, but I am curious of why you wanted to see me...

Tortimer: Well, you see our city is new, since we only recently got funding from Tom Nook.

GG: The famed raccoon tycoon?

Tortimer: Yes. Needless to say, we haven't yet named it.

GG: Yeah, you are supposed to come up with a name before you found a city.

Tortimer: So we would like your permission to name our city Smashville in honor of your famous city, Smashtopia. The bravery of your city's citizens is famous all across the multiverse.

GG: (raises eyebrow) hmm... Sure! But only if we can have one of our Stadium's arenas set there.

Tortimer: (smiling happily) Of course! Of course! That'd bring big revenues to our town!

GG: (shakes Tortimer's hand) It was a pleasure meeting you, Mayor Tortimer.

Tortimer: Same with you, President Windwalker.

GG: Call me GG, everyone else does.

(Tortimer leaves)

Rita: Soemone is here to see you.

GG: Ok, Ms. Reed! Send him in!

(A 175 Plushie appears on the desk)

175 Plushie: I want SSS to do a DNA test on Dr. Mario.

***

(175 and his plushie are thrown out the window of GG's office)

175: What? You don't like plushies?!

***

GG: Welcome to another glorious day at Super Smash Stadium! With me today is Stretch Monroe.

Stretch: Happy Hoop-de-do-da Day, Game Guru.

GG: Whoop de doo.

Stretch: No, it's Hoop-de-do-da!

GG: (irritated) Hoop-de... Hang on! You're from a random EA Sports-themed world!

Stretch: It's called "Hoopland."

GG: Hoopland... What the heck are you doing here?

Stretch: I scored a goal on the Magic Hoop and got my wish to visit Smashtopia. I got to play basketball with Mario a year ago, because of that hoop!

GG: Okay, I'm not talking to you about Hoopland EVER again.

Stretch: Mario and Luigi have petitioned to form a team... the Mario Bros and the exclusive use of green as a team color, possibly as a compromise for the team name.

GG: However, since the Pioneers, consisting of Luigi and Kirby, won the Tag Team Tourney belt, Luigi's team and Kirby's team must fight for ownership of BOTH! Let's go to Navi with Kirby as his teammate...

Navi: Happy Hoop-de-do-da Day, Stretch! (shakes off a headache)

GG: Not you, too!

Stretch: You look like you've got a headache there.

Navi: It's nothing! I've been sick recently with visions and headaches.

GG: (sighs) Well, hopefully it will pass soon.

Navi: So who will you be fighting with, Kirby?

Kirby: The Ice Climbers

GG: WHOA!!! Hold the phone! Is the Ice Climbers even LEGAL?! It'd be like a 3-on-2 match!

Navi: I'll ask the Judges. Judges?

Judges: (watching the opening to Captain N) Yeah, it's legal...

GG: What are you guys doing?

Judges: We are trying to determine if Mother Brain says "princess" or "beet--"

GG: Thank you, Judges! The match shall be 3-life, no items, and on Corneria...

Navi: They are in, GG.

GG: Okay, 3... 2... 1... GO!

Stretch: Kirby starts by sucking up Mario!

GG: The New Pioneers, by the way, requested that team attack be on.

Stretch: The Ice Climbers pound their hammers into Luigi!

GG: Kirby throws a Fireball into Luigi's back!

Luigi: (in the arena) Watch it, Mario!

Stretch: Kirby attempts to hit Mario with his Hammer!

GG: But Mario counters with a Mario Tornado!

Stretch: Luigi tosses Popo aside, and begins beating on Nana!

GG: Nana escapes from Luigi

Stretch: Nana joins Popo in beating up on Mario now!

GG: Luigi charges at Kirby!

Stretch: But Kirby dodges and Luigi grabs Mario instead!

GG: I think I know what Kirby's plan is.

Stretch: What?

GG: He's trying to get Mario and Luigi to fight each other, instead of him or the Ice Climbers.

Stretch: You shouldn't fight teammates, especially on Hoop-de-do-da Day!

GG: Oh, no...

Stretch: Hoop-de-do-da Day is about working as a team against your opponents.

GG: Whoop de doo, a moral.

Stretch: No, it's Hoop-de-do-da!

GG: Mario is sent flying!

Stretch: But he make it back.

GG: Just barely dodged an Arwing blast, too!

Stretch: Kirby and the Ice Climbers team up against Luigi!

Mario: (in the arena) I'm coming, brother!

GG: Mario is going to help Luigi!

Stretch: It's a literal fray!

GG: Popo is sent across the Great Fox!

Stretch: Kirby has been sent into the strata!

GG: So is Mario!

Stretch: Nana has reunited with Popo, and they begin to beat up Luigi.

GG: Mario joins in to beat up Luigi!

Luigi: (in the arena) Mario, I'm a-not the enemy!

Mario: (in the arena) Mama mia! I'm a-sorry, bro!

GG: Mama mia...

Stretch: How can they fight on Hoop-de-do-da Day?

GG: I don't think that was intenional.

Stretch: Kirby steals Mario's power, again.

GG: Mario gives Luigi a Super Jump Punch!

Luigi: (in the arena) MARIO!!!

GG: Luigi jump kicked Popo and sent him flying!

Stretch: Mario and Luigi beat down on Kirby!

GG: Popo and Nana return.

Stretch: Luigi is attempting to jump kick Kirby!

GG: But Kirby dodges!

Stretch: He's hit Mario, instead!

Mario: (in the arena) Luigi, I'm a-not the enemy!

Luigi: (in the arena) Mama mia! I'm a-sorry, bro!

Stretch: Man, they should stop fighting each other and start fighting the real enemy.

GG: Some people just don't like each other.

Stretch: It's another fray between the four!

GG: Luigi is sent flying, but no KO!

Stretch: Mario charges at the Ice Climbers!

GG: Luigi jumpkicks Kirby!

Stretch: The Ice Climbers attack Luigi!

GG: Mario and Kirby charge towards the others!

Stretch: But both Luigi and the Ice Climbers dodge!

GG: Mario and Kirby are going at it!

Stretch: Kirby is sent into the air!

GG: Mario and the Ice Climbers duke it out!

Stretch: Kirby attempts his stone technique on Mario.

GG: Kirby falls as a 100-ton weight on the Ice Climbers!

Stretch: They have been KO'd!

GG: Mario throws Kirby against the fin of the Great Fox

Stretch: Mario and Luigi team up against Kirby again.

GG: Luigi rockets into Mario!

Mario: (in the arena) LUIGI!!!

Stretch: The Ice Climbers return and smash Luigi far!

GG: Kirby has Mario and the Ice Climbers cornered!

Stretch: He's throwing fireballs at them!

GG: Luigi slams into Kirby!

Stretch: He's been sent flying out of the arena!

GG: Man, the Mario Bros are really making mince-meat out of the New Pioneers!

Stretch: Mario and Luigi are showing the Ice Climbers who the REAL team is!

GG: Luigi's in the air again!

Stretch: Kirby has returned and is waiting for Luigi to land!

GG: Kirby attempts to suck Luigi in!

Stretch: But Luigi dodges it and slams his feet into Kirby's face!

GG: The Ice Climbers free themselves from Mario and join in with Kirby!

Stretch: Mario tosses the Ice Climbers out of the way!

GG: Mario attempts to jump kick Kirby!

Stretch: But he hits Luigi into the strata instead!

GG: Luigi's been KO'd!!!

Luigi: (in the background) MAAAAAAAAAAARIOOOOOOOO!!!

GG: The Ice Climbers toss Mario, right underneath Kirby!

Stretch: Kirby thwomps Mario!

GG: Luigi's back and he's fighting Popo!

Stretch: While Kirby and Nana fight Mario next to the fin!

GG: Luigi uppercuts Popo!

Stretch: He's been KO'd!

Luigi: (in the arena) You cost me a life!

GG: Luigi slams into Mario!

Stretch: Mario's been KO'd!

GG: Mario and Luigi are fighting each other!

Stretch: Not on Hoop-de-do-da Day!

GG: Kirby's just laughing at them!

Stretch: Luigi headbutts Mario!

GG: Mario throws a fireball at Luigi!

Stretch: Luigi jump kicks Mario's face!

GG: Kirby's still laughing at them!

Stretch: Mario tries a Tornado!

GG: But Luigi dodges!

Stretch: Kirby's still laughing!

Mario: (in the arena) Luigi, hold it! Kirby's a-been playing us for chumps!

Luigi: (in the arena and notices Kirby) Why a-that little...

Mario: We should a-be fighting him, not each other.

Luigi: Let's a-show him that a-fancy footwork, bro.

Mario: Yes, Let's.

GG: The Mario Bros have teamed up, again and... Oh no.

Stretch: They are... gliding towards Kirby?

GG: They are using the Wavedash!

Stretch: And both Super Jump Punch Kirby into the strata!

This game's winner and the new Team Smashers are... The Mario Bros!
THE BETTER PLAYER... LUIGI!

GG: Let's go to Navi with the winners!

Navi: Mario and Luigi, it looked like you were fighting each other for a moment there. What happened?

Luigi: We got-a angry at each other.

Mario: Anger makes people fight.

Luigi: When we realized Kirby tricked us, we fought him instead of each other?

Navi: And you, Ice Climbers?

Nana: That Wavedash is a cheap move!

Popo: It should be banned from SSS!

Nana: Oh and Happy Hoop-de-do-da Day, Stretch!

Navi: Back to you, Stretch

GG: Bah, I'm out of here.

Stretch: Where did Kirby go?

GG: I don't know... (leaves)

Stretch: Oh well, here are the questions:
1: What is Mother Brain saying?
2: Will Mario and Luigi remain teammates?
3: Is the Wavedash too cheap?
4: Will the world of Burgertime ever be the same?

Stretch: I don't get the last question... What happened to Burgertime?

***

Mr. Hot Dog: IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!!

Kirby: No, it's Burgertime!