Match #122

Roy vs. Zelda

(Waluigi is in Game Guru's Office)

Waluigi: What do you mean I'm demoted?!

GG: You broke the rules, so I demoted you.

Waluigi: So, what? I have to be Assistant Janitor with Daffy Duck?

GG: No, follow me.

(GG & Waluigi walk outside and see a huge line of various beings)

Andross: Only I have the brains to fight here!

Samurai Goroh: Shut up, Andross. You don't even have limbs!

Little Mac: (on a cellphone) Doc Louis, they won't let me be a contender! I coulda been a contender!

Stafy: I’ll do it! I’m doing it!

Devil: Stupid starfish... (points to the right and sends Stafy flying right out through the window)

Stafy: (as he is sent flying) I'm NOOOOOOT doooooing it! T_T

Lyn: They said I wasn't popular enough!

Saki: At least your game originally came out in the US... Mine had to hitch a ride on the Virtual Console!

GG: See, everyone wants to fight in the Stadium, but there is not enough room.

Waluigi: Reject them! I'm better than all of them!

GG: I can't say no to this! (holds up a cute little Nintendog with sad puppy dog eyes)

Nintendog: (whimpers sadly)

GG: Ok, you can all be Assists!

Crowd: YAY!

Nintendog: ARF! (licks GG's face)

GG: I'll work out the logistics later... Wait, wasn't there some mole named Resetti in this line?

***

(Young Link runs past Marth)

Marth: Hey, kid. What's the matter!

Young Link: I'm being chased by a demented mole!

Marth: Demented... What?

???: GRAARR!

(Mr. Resetti erupts from the ground)

Mr. Resetti: Stop changing history!

Young Link: WAHHHHH!!! (runs away from Mr. Resetti)

Mr. Resetti: Young Link... you'd be running home to Mama! (enters back into the ground)

Marth: Oh... kay...

***

GG: Oh well...

Waluigi: Hmmph.

GG: Actually we got lots of items we are developing... Come with me to the Stadium Lab.

(GG heads off to the Stadium Lab with Waluigi following, inside is many items)

Waluigi: WAAAAH! (slips and falls on a banana peel)

GG: Careful, Daffy's been here.

Waluigi: (picks up the banana peel and gets up) I see... (Picks up a weird round thing)

GG: Gooey Bombs...

Waluigi: (The Gooey Bomb sticks to his hand and explodes) Ow...

GG: (picks up a white round thing with an Exclamation Point) A Pitfall. (Tosses it at Waluigi behind him)

Waluigi: WAH!!! (stuck in the ground)

GG: We are even bringing back the Bumper!

Waluigi: (gets out and spots curry) Ooh! Food!

GG: No, don't!

Waluigi: (eats the curry and catches on fire and spits out flames) WAH! TOO HOT!!!

GG: That's the Superspicy Curry. (picks up a blue orb crackling with energy and tosses it at Waluigi, healing him right up)

Waluigi: What was that?

GG: A Team Healer. It heals if it hits someone. It's planned to make Team Battles more interesting.

Waluigi: (spots a weird color-changing item with the Smash Logo on it) What is that?

GG: That is a Smash Ball. It grants great power to its user, which we are trying to adapt for use in the Stadium.

Waluigi: Cool.

GG: That's not all.

(GG heads off to door in the arena section with Waluigi following. GG opens it to reveal... nothing?)

Waluigi: What the?

(GG types on a keyboard and the room begins to form fighting arena after fighting arena, many simple and small, but a few are large and complex. The parade of arenas end, and Waluigi is amazed)

GG: This is the Stage Builder... It can make impressive arenas with a few clicks, though not as impressive as the new arenas we are making independent of the Stage Builder.

Waluigi: Heh...

GG: I have to go commentator, and I just remembered you are on probation. (tugs Waluigi out of the area)

Waluigi: Wah!

***

GG: Hello, and welcome to Super Smash Stadium. I am your host, the Game Guru! Today, we have Link...

Link: Hmmph...

GG: And we have Lilian, who is the girlfriend of Roy.

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

GG: -_-' TRANSLATOR!

Ganondorf: I'm here!

GG: What the... What are you doing here, Ganondorf?! I want Marth!

Ganondorf: I'm here to balance the commentators!

GG: I WANT MARTH!!!

Ganondorf: WELL, I WANT MY TRIFORCE BACK!!!

Marth: I'm here now!

GG: Ok, what did Lilian say?

Marth: I do not know! I was not here!

GG: GAH! (slaps his face)

Ganondorf: (chuckles)

GG: Ganondorf! This match is in Yoshi's Island from Super Mario World. It's a timed match this time for 2 minutes, and no items. 3... 2... 1... GO!

GG: I'm getting a lemonade...

Ganondorf: Roy begins by slamming Zelda down.

Marth: Roy continues with nice slices.

Link: Roy has Zelda cornered on the hill.

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Marth: Zelda transforms into Sheik.

Link: Roy tosses Sheik.

Ganondorf: Rather boring... Like my new beard? (strokes his beard)

Marth: Better than Fox's shoes.

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Link: Sheik does a quick combo.

Marth: Why did you grow a beard?

Ganondorf: Evil looks good in a beard. My wives love the beard.

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Marth: Lilian tried to get Roy to grow a beard, she says.

Link: Roy uses his Flare Blade on Sheik.

Marth: There's something I've been wondering... You have wives and Bowser has eight kids, and yet Mario and Link haven't married, yet?

Ganondorf: Well, evil IS popular with the ladies.

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Link: Wow, Roy is really beating Sheik. Help me commentate!

Ganondorf: Roy always wins... Why should we commentate?

Link: What about that one loss against my younger self?

Ganondorf: I'm pretty sure Young Link used more explosive in that bomb than usual.

Link: He's the pure and righteous Hero of Time! Cheating is against his nature!

Ganondorf: What about when Young Link used the Ocarina of Time against Pikachu and Pichu?

Marth: Ganondorf has a point.

Link: I DO NOT CHEAT!!!

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Link: (to Lilian) I DO NOT CHEAT!!!

Lilian: ...

Ganondorf: ...

Marth: ... She was saying that Sheik had been KOed.

Link: Well, I don't.

Marth: Roy tries another Flare Blade.

Ganondorf: Ooh! A nice kick sends Roy down the pit!

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Marth: Sheik changed back to Zelda.

Ganondorf: Roy tosses Zelda into the air.

Link: Seriously, I don't cheat.

Ganondorf: Now, you're just getting sad.

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Marth: Roy appears to have the upper hand... You know I hear that Roy's not that popular with the fans.

Ganondorf: Really?

Marth: They think he powergames.

Link: Yeah, I don't think Roy, Dr. Mario, Pichu, or Mewtwo will be appearing next season.

Ganondorf: Wait, I can understand Roy, Dr. Mario and Pichu, but Mewtwo? Why don't they like Mewtwo?

Marth: They think Mewtwo's too cocky about being the Ultimate Lifeform.

Ganondorf: What's my rating?

Marth: About average... I'm top of the mark with Fox, Falco, and Sheik!

Link: Just like Pikachu, Kirby, and Ness in the first two seasons.

Ganondorf: Wait, Sheik?

Marth: Yeah, the fans want to see more Sheik and less Zelda.

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Link: Maybe Roy does powergame... Look what he's doing to Zelda!

Marth: Roy fails at hitting Zelda with the Blazer.

Ganondorf: Zelda just barely missed the pit.

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Marth: Ouch! Roy didn't!

Marth: Roy comes back steamed!

Ganondorf: Well, there went Zelda into the strata...

Lilian: (speaks in Japanese)

Link: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Ganondorf: We know what this means... SUDDEN DEATH!!!

Link: Roy grabs Zelda and tosses her.

Marth: Roy follows through with a hard sword strike!

Lilian: (cheers)

Ganondorf: Zelda is KOed!

THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... ROY!

GG: (comes back with a lemonade) Now let's go to Navi with Roy.

Link: You took your sweet time.

Digi: (over intercom) GG, we caught two thieves trying to get the Triforce of Power. We've got them locked up, but you should come over right away.

***

(Captain Syrup is in jail, and Pauline is in a chair having her head examined by Mewtwo)

Mewtwo: This girl was under mind control. I was able to snap her out of it.

Digi: Thank you.

Pauline: Ugh...

Mewtwo: She doesn't remember anything.

GG: Oh, well let her go. It's not her fault, anyway.

(Pauline leaves and Mewtwo looks over at Captain Syrup)

Mewtwo: Her mind is an open book... Appears this weird beanish thing and his band of minions want to obtain the Triforce of Power.

GG: Fawful.

Mewtwo: Yes. I should be able to obtain all of their names with time.

GG: Thank you, Mewtwo.

Mewtwo: I fear there may be more danger in store for us...

***

(Mr. Game & Watch is sniffing a flower, and look to be in thought)

Mr. Game & Watch: {This third dimension continues to confuse me so. It feels as if I do not belong here. The physics here are so different... it's almost frightening.}

???: Oh, that's because you ARE unlike the beings of this world.

Mr. Game & Watch: {You understand me?!}

???: {Of course, I've learned all I can about Flatzoners}

Mr. Game & Watch: {Who are you to speak my language?}

(Two ROBs grab Mr. Game & Watch)

???: {I am the Ancient Minister and now you are mine!}

Mr. Game & Watch: (struggles) BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!!! (is bagged by the ROBs)