Match #13

The question: Who is the best brother?

Fighters for Dream Land (randomly chosen)
Player 2 Player 3 Player 4


Jaquar's original idea:
Player 1 Player 2


I thought that adding Luigi would sweeten the pot.

The background: While Mario & Luigi were heading to their random destination against a mystery person, they had no idea that it was really Wario they would also fight. The SSB "Superpowers", which comprise of Mash Toady (interview extraordinaire), Kyle Orland (vice president), "Powers" (the president), some other guys, and myself (commentator), work on the SSB set, making matches and stuff. After Wario came to town, we merely took advantage of the situation. In case you weren't paying attention to the last fight's aftermath, Wario has Mario's moves, and was given quite a sum of money under the following stipulation: If Wario wins this 5 minute no-item fight, he doesn't have to fight on SSB again; if he loses, he's a permanent member of the fighting squad. I was quickly sent to my commentating booth while the fighters were quickly sent to Dream Land. Once they got there, they were ready to fight, so LET THE CARNAGE BEGIN!

    Once again Luigi attacks first, but then sweeps came from all of the players, M39 Lu20 W20 4:56. The Green plumber was quickly assaulted in the air, but so was Mario. After the Red plumber came down, Wario sent Mario left, but not to death. Luigi quickly struck Wario while he wasn't looking, M77ND Lu52 W39 4:48. Mario did make it back in time, but didn't see Wario's KO head-butt. The alive fighters quickly exchange blows while Mario loses a point, M0-1 L65= W57+1 4:40.

    When Mario came back, the Yellow plumber attempted a coin punch, but not only did Wario miss the competitors, he also missed the platform for a suicide kill. Mario quickly decided to deliver 23 unanswered damage to Luigi, M0-1 L88= W0= 4:35.

    Fireballs, coin punches, & cyclones, Oh My! That was the main theme for 10 seconds in which Mario got whupped bad, M42 Lu97 W18 4:25. That was quickly followed by everyone showing off their drill kicks, in which Mario fared better than the other two plumbers this time, M66 Lu152 W61 4:15. The wind from the Wispy Woods tree has died down, but Wario almost made Luigi down one life, but failed. "Mr. Money Man" took his anger on Mario, who only got a hit or two on Wario, M104 Lu164ND W76 4:05. Luigi tried to get on top of his brother, but Mario landed a KO head-butt instead. Wario shook up Mario during his taunt, and that just made Mario perform a powerful drill kick to cyclone combo, M108= Lu0-1 W116= 3:55.

    Luigi quickly got revenge by placing a drop kick on Mario (no death) and super jump punching Wario for a kill, M124ND= Lu0= W0-1 3:50.

    Though Mario did come back on the platform, he suffered a drop kick from his brother that knocked him out cold. The other two showed each other coin punches, but only took one coin from each player, M0-1 Lu1+1 W1-1 3:43.

    Mario felt like his in coin heaven taking the coins from his two opponents. He also landed a sliding kick to Wario in the process, M0 Lu16 W41 3:36. After another gale storm, the two "Marios" did some main fighting with each other, with Luigi only playing a minor role during this part, M57ND Lu22 W69 3:22. A major trading party ensued for about 40 seconds; though there was too much action going on in the first 20 or so, it was calm enough in the other half to find out that Luigi cycloned his brother and threw Wario. During Luigi's taunt, though, Mario stopped Wario from reaching the platform, stealing Luigi's kill, M103= Lu76+1 W0-2 2:45.

    While there were some other attacks by all three fighters and some wind gusts from the tree, coin heaven was the norm for the time being. Mario almost stole lives during this thieving time, M134 Lu105ND W38ND 2:29. Luigi quickly went under his brother who landed a cyclone on Wario, and knocked Mario out of town. However, that left Luigi open to a few drill kicks from Wario, M0-2 Lu150+2 W50-2 2:21.

    Wario used an aerial drop kick to stop Luigi in his tracks, but almost killed himself in the process. When Wario did land back, Mario also came back for more fighting, M0-2 Lu0+1 W67ND-1 2:14.

    All of the combatants started trading hits quickly, but Luigi's speed helped him avoid some blows, M62 Lu38 W106 2:00. Mario fired two fireballs at his brother, and Wario came to finish the job...if only he landed the drop kick on Luigi. He was sailing off the platform and couldn't get back on time, M62-1 Lu50+1 W0-2 1:54.

    A major free-for-all came (along with some winds) and Mario almost prevailed over his opponents, M103 Lu116ND W78ND 1:35. Mario grabbed Wario & started to toss him over to the left. However, Luigi knocked Wario out of the field. Then, Mario suffered a similar fate, M0-2 Lu116+3 W0-3 1:20.

    I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight...again, wrong song. It should be "I feel like throwing tonight, like sweeping tonight." That was what was going on until a few seconds over a minute, M33 Lu143ND W21 1:06. Everyone soon acted like air force rangers, but Wario excelled in the clouds this time, taking out both of his adversaries in the process. Talk about killing two birds with one stone, M0-2 Lu0+2 W39-1 :50.

    A stall period and a wind period (tree) came to pass until there were :20 left. Everyone started sweeping at that time, but Mario snuck in the final kill to Wario just before the buzzer.

Final Standings
Combatants Mario Luigi Wario
Final Health Report 106% 94% 0%
Knockouts Three Five Four
Times Knocked Out Five Three Six
Final Score -2 2 -2


This games winner is...Luigi!


    Normally, the match would be over. But, because of "Powers's" deal with Wario, there must be a Sudden Death match between Mario (player 2) & Wario (player 4) at the 200% damage level. So without further ado, it's time for SUDDEN DEATH!!!

    Mario landed a fireball on his opponent, but Wario stole two of Mario's coins, but couldn't steal the one life he had, M2ND W7. Both fighters took to the air with some power hits, but no deaths, M39 W47. Mario became relentless with a powerful combo that ended with a sweep & a taunt. Though Wario did make it back on the platform, he couldn't survive another sweep, M39D0 W0D1.

This games winner is...Mario!


Post-Match:


    "Well," "Powers" of the SSB Superpowers said. "You have shown to me that you aren't as good as I thought you were in the ring. You are now permanently working with us!"

    "And what if I refuse?" Wario boldly asked.

    "I can always destroy your castle on Kitchen Island."

    "I have other castles."

    "I could get Captain Syrup to join this team."

    "And I can send her out twice as fast."

    "I can always take your money."

    "NOOOOOO! ANYTHING BUT MY MONEY!"

    "Then you are now "officially" a SSB fighter. I will arrange a match for you soon. Now, be gone!"

    "Fine!" (grumble, grumble)

    (over intercom) "Kyle, you're needed in my office immediately," Powers said.

    "What is it?" Kyle quickly asked.

    "Make sure that Wario can't escape."

    "Already done, sir," Kyle told the boss.

    Meanwhile, out side of the arena, Wario realizes that his car is missing. Wario quickly searched the rest of the parking lot and found it...smashed to pieces. "NNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

What did you think of the match? Did Wario do a good job for his debut fight? Will the SSB Superpowers (with me working for them) take over Super Smash Bros.? Will Wario ever escape fighting others in the arena (I don't think so)? Head here & cast your reaction.