Match #131

The Theme: Two of SSS' biggest trash-talkers and nickname spewers face off in the first 5th-season match. Also, shall we mention that this is like the tortoise meets the hare--er, hedgehog?

The Fighters: Sonic vs. Bowser
The Arena: Battlefield
Item Ratio: Medium
Time/Lives/HP: 4:00

*Well before the match begins*

(Digi is standing in a wide open room with a pencil, paper, and clipboard, which soon becomes occupied with several species of Pokemon)

Digi (loudly): Alright, could we have some quiet around here! Please?

(The Pokemon stop muttering and pay attention to the Superpower.)

Digi: Okay, before this season begins...I'd like to make a few announcements regarding our Pokeballs...obviously, there are several new Pokemon we've been debating about as to whether or not we should include for our new matches...

Weavile: Yeah, whatever, I know I'm in.

Digi: Correct, Weavile. We did promise you that spot after the Royku fiasco. However, some of you may not be that lucky.

Pokemon: (muttering again)

Digi: With that in mind...Weezing. Sorry, but you're demoted to "alternate". I wish we could keep you on a match-by-match basis, but you're not as quite as popular as we hoped.

Weezing: Weeeeez... *looks as if he's--or is it they're?--crying*

Digi: Hmm. Chikorita. Bellossom. Grass types are cool. We like a nice array of moves. Sleep Powder's always fun to mess with, especially when Jigglypuff's not fighting, and I like Razor Leaf myself...you're staying in.

Chikorita: Chiko! (jumps up as down as Bellossom spins around)

Digi: Now, a lot of people used to like Meowth back in the days, and I've never had the luxury of seeing Pay Day in a match. Welcome back. Of course, a lot of us like to see Pokemon that young trainers tend to start with. That in mind, I'd like to introduce a few new friends. This is Piplup and this is Torchic...

Piplup: Pip piplup?

Digi: Don't worry, they don't bite you.

Torchic: Chic...

Digi: Swift is a good annoyance. Staryu, you remain...okay, some legendaries. Some of you will have to be replaced for new ones, cause we can't have too many of you around. Apologies to Raikou and Zapdos, but we have to cut you full time at least.

(Raikou just grunts and stomps away. Zapdos lets out a few sparks but doesn't damage anything before flying off.)

Digi: Say hello to these guys! (releases a few Pokeballs, where Deoxys, Latias, Latios, Jirachi, and Manaphy pop out) I think we'll have some fun with you five...

Jirachi: {But I don't want to hurt anyone...I just want to grant wishes...}

Digi: (groans before yelling) NAVI! WHAT DID JIRACHI SAY?

(No response)

Digi: Oh well. I'll presume it was nice.

Jirachi: *shakes her head* {Wait for it.}

(Suddenly, Navi floats over from out of nowhere)

Navi: Jirachi says that she doesn't like hurting people and would much rather grant others' wishes for them...like when you just called for me.

Digi (to Jirachi): Dang, you're good!

(Jirachi nods, making a ^_^-like face)

Weavile: (rolls eyes) I could've told you that.

Digi: Hmm...let's see. *stares at Goldeen* Well, we always love to see people release a Pokeball only to have you pop up. You shouldn't even know how to learn Splash, yet you screw our fighters over with it!

Goldeen: Goldeen goldeen goldeen...

Digi: You're still in. Okay, everyone I did not mention, the list will be posted. Other new Pokemon have been already been taken care of. If you can't recognize your name, I've posted pictures, you should be able to recognize those. Good luck to all of you, and everyone who survives, have fun this season. Be ready to do what you need to when you're called.

Snorlax (asleep): LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX...

Digi *sighs*: Munchlax, tell Daddy he's still in. And you're in as well. Pokeballs will be in the first match this season, so there's a good chance at least one of you will be summoned. Meeting adjourned.

(Manaphy chuckles and whispers something to Goldeen)

Goldeen: Goldeen?!

Manaphy: Mana!

***

(Later on. The camera is set in the commentary booth as Digifanatic, along with a new face in the booth--Ness--calling the shots.)

Digi: It is good to be back for Season 5! I'm Ian "Digifanatic" Hoffman hosting here with this bout. We've got a few lines surrounding this match. For those of you wondering why Ness is here, well, the last time I hosted a time rules match, here is what happened...

(flashes back to Ness vs. Mewtwo from Season 4)

Digi: As a recent time match winner, Ness, you definately know how to find an edge in these sorts of matches, and that suicide move, as controversial as it was, turned out to be the match-deciding strategy.

Ness: I'm not sure if we'll see any of those today, though, Ian. The fighters have been warned about this situation, and punishments might be in call if someone abuses this.

Digi: And it's not just the honor of winning a match that's on the line today. Folks, in this season, we're putting a brand new incentive for victories. One win, and you're in...to King of the Stadium II!

Crowd: *loud cheers*

Digi: Indeed, the epic match that we experimented with last season is coming back at the midpoint at this season. To make this more interesting, the stipulation does not matter at all--stock match, time match, coin match, all items, no items, free-for-all, team fight, whatever. If you belong to the winning side, you have qualified for the big brawl!

Digi: Yes, King of the Stadium bids on the line, and the two are aware of it. This will make a great match.

Ness: That is a pretty good prize up at stake. I'd like to try to get back to that fight again. I had a fun time at it last season.

Digi: Well, we should find a place for you by the middle of the season. As for today, it's good to see you've accepted the invitation to come here. As I've said, you've found a good way to work in a time system, so I know you can be a good assistant in this match. Let's explain the rest of the rules.

Ness: Sure. The items are set to medium frequency and everything that doesn't heal is fair game, including the Smash Balls!

Digi: Super Sonic vs. Giga Bowser, I'd like to see that...and we're fighting at our new revamped version of the Battlefield. It's still the same four-platform design we've been using all this time, but check out the cool background ambience.

Ness: Can't complain with weather like that. Sonic's the quickest fighter around, but Bowser has some of the most devastating moves around, including that new Flying Slam move. I'd like to see how effective it's going to be compared to the Koopa Klaw.

Digi: And there are a bunch of new items that are in here, as well as many of our usual suspects. Say hello to things like the Assist Trophies, Superspicy Curries, and Hotheads, amongst plenty of other curios that you haven't seen before, because there's a good chance you will see these pop up today. This fight is going to be fun.

Ness: It looks like the fighters are getting anxious. Sonic's already curled up and bounced into the arena.

Digi: And here comes Bowser walking out of the fire! It is so nice to see these characters dropping into the fight with these entrances again. The crowd loves it we do as well.

Ness: You think it's time?

Digi: Oh, of course it is, Ness. They're Sonic and Bowser, that's our new Battlefield, and this fight is on! Bowser is starting stage right while Sonic takes the left hand side.

Ness: Look at the speed of Sonic. Bowser only took a couple of steps before being pelted with a few quick blows.

Digi: However, the Koopa comes back and uses that new Flying Slam almost immediately, tossing Sonic right into the ground. Sonic scoots out of the way and starts charging a Spin Dash.

Ness: Sonic lets it go but Bowser shields in time. It's good to have that sort of defense, and Bowser spews out some flames.

Digi: Roast hedgehog, and the first item drops in, a Warp Star up top. The two exchange a few blows but Sonic gets the edge to the star, blasting off and blasting Bowser away.

Ness: Bowser not afraid to take that shot, as he does not fly very far off--using it to his advantage as he catches Sonic partway through a Whirling Fortress, and there's a big smash! Absolutely devastating as Sonic goes flying, all the way to Bowser's first knockout!

Digi: That just sent a big statement towards everyone else. Sonic comes back into the arena and clubs Bowser with a Homing Attack. I see a Green Shell and a Capsule, and Bowser's running for the shell.

Ness: Bowser grabs the shell and gives a toss, nicking Sonic.

Digi: Nonetheless, Sonic trying to use some item prowess of his own, slamming down the capsule and taking the Ray Gun that came out.

Ness: Fast character with a potent ranged item against the tortoise...I like that strategy.

Digi: Sonic gets in two quick shots, but Bowser runs through and grabs Sonic again, piledriving him with that big body slam.

Ness: Sonic's not quitting yet, though, as he launches a flurry of moves, tripping Bowser up in the process with some Spin Dashing and another shot off the Ray Gun.

Digi: But Bowser continues to be deadly, even in midair with a drilling move. Sonic tosses the Ray Gun aside.

Ness: What would happen if Sonic got a Bunny Hood?

Digi: He'd probably say that he looks a complete dork and refuse to wear it--hang on, Bowser Bomb! Sonic goes flying but no knockouts yet. Bob-Omb in the arena, and Bowser grabs it!

Ness: What can a 4-point lead do for Bowser? He hurls the Bob-Omb and kills Sonic again!

Ness: Now that Bowser has the big lead, it would be best for him to cool down a little bit and slow the pace. Problem is, Sonic doesn't know how!

Digi: I understand, man...Sonic gets in a smash soon after reviving and sends Bowser off of the edge for the first time. However, Bowser uses his jumps to get back.

Ness: Bowser puts in a few blows, but Sonic suddenly gaining an upper hand with a kick in the air. Bowser sent off the edge again, and this time, it works out.

Digi: We're back down to a two point match, plus and minus one. About time a Smash Ball floats in, doing so from upper-stage right. Bowser tosses Sonic out of the way and immediately hunts it down...

Ness: Whirling Fortress breaks it open! Sonic is going to be in trouble...

Digi: And without wasting a beat, Bowser ensues the demonic transformation into Giga Bowser, and Sonic is taking a beating! Bowser definately has this match in control, and just like that, Sonic is out again. The hedgehog got in a few shots but Bowser flat-out dominated those last few moments.

Ness: But Bowser gets caught up face-to-face with a Bob-Omb as the transformation fades off. He goes off the edge but recovers without breaking a sweat. He still shouldn't make an unforced error like that.

Digi: Bowser comes back and Sonic jumps back into the arena, quickly heading over for the side. Bowser punches but Sonic juggles Bowser into the air a bit, as King Koopa retreats...he runs back to Sonic, and goes for the Bowser Bomb--oh no! Too much momentum!

Ness: Bowser flies over the edge and into the suicide zone! I will say that was purely an accident. I do not think Bowser had that in mind.

Digi: And Sonic taunts...Bowser's back in.

Ness: I'd like to see who's going to get the crate on the right hand side, first. Sonic runs over and tries to pick it up but Bowser swipes him. The crate explodes! Both take some serious damage.

Digi: Sonic recovers first and charges up a Spin Dash, sending Bowser around. Sonic then uses a Spring to get out of the way before gliding back down and making his next move.

Ness: Bowser charges a smash but he's too slow. Sonic rolls out of the way easily. A Fan drops and Sonic takes it, ignoring the Curry that fell in.

Digi: Bowser trying to shield, but he forgot that a Fan can break one of those with ease!

Ness: I know it looks like a good strategy at first, and he's trying to protect his lead, but still, do not underestimate those Fans. He's dazed...and Sonic with an upward smash! Sonic has the momentum, but I'm not sure if he's got the time.

Digi: Bowser looks like he is horribly dazed right now...still having problems getting up but he smashes Sonic. Not good enough to kill, though.

Ness: Sonic uses Bowser's slow recovery time and does a flurry of Homing Attacks and juggles... He goes for the grab and sends Bowser flying.

Digi: Pokéball drops in, but Sonic doesn't go for it. He wants Bowser. Whirling Fortress sends him back in but Sonic meteor smashes him and sends him out!

Ness: Bowser gets the Bomb in this time while Sonic gives Bowser some shots of his own. Sonic gets out of the way and grabs the Pokéball...

Digi: He throws it down and hits Bowser with it, but he gets a Goldeen. Not good. Bowser takes advantage and runs in to hit Soni--WAIT, WHAT IN THE WORLD?

Ness: Bowser just went flying out of nowhere! He's knocked out again, and Sonic suddenly has the lead! What happened? What happened?!

Digi: Sonic taunts as Bowser gets to set to revive. He falls down, grabs Sonic, knocks him around a few times and tosses him up. Sonic goes into the stratosphere, but did Bowser get enough time for the knockout?

Ness: I don't think so. The four minutes have ended, and here comes the freeze-frame of that last moment. Sonic was still alive.

GAME!

FINAL SCORES:
Sonic: 3 KOs, 3 times KO'd, Score: 0
Bowser: 3 KOs, 3 times KO'd, 1 SD, Score: -1

THIS GAME'S WINNER IS SONIC!

Ness: And Sonic has qualified for King of the Stadium II in dramatic fashion!

Digi: Ness, follow me for a second. I want to see what happened that gave Sonic the lead. That was really weird. (walks into the production booth, Ness following. Digi is then seen talking to a Toad producer) Okay, rewind that back to--yeah, that's good...now zoom in on Sonic and Bowser, mute the arena noise, and slow motion.

Toad: Like that?

Digi: Fine. Okay, here we are. Sonic just summoned the Goldeen and Bowser is running in to attack Sonic. It looks like he's about to swipe Sonic and then--yup, right there--Bowser is suddenly hurtled backwards towards the stage left boundary. Rewind that again, slow it down it a bit more.

(clip is rewound again)

Ness: Let's see...Bowser goes--oh, Goldeen used Horn Drill on Bowser! It's supposed to be a one-hit knockout, isn't it?

Digi: Yeah...

Ness: So that's what happened! Goldeen just...wow.

Digi: That almost never happens, and to be honest, that's why Ness and I are shocked about this. I know in the matches I've done so far, I have not seen a Horn Drill Goldeen, especially in these sorts of circumstances. After all, it's really only Magikarp that uses Splash, but of course, for Super Smash Stadium's purposes, we change things up a bit...and usually Splash is all Goldeen does.

Ness: That's the beauty of this place, though. You'll get some odd fights like these and I guess that Goldeen wanted to mess around with us.

Digi: I'm going to tell Navi right now that I'd much rather interview Bowser, for the security and dignity of this place... (over headset) Navi, whatever you are doing, start looking for Sonic.

Navi: Okay, then.

(about a minute or two later)

Digi: Okay, Bowser...I'm not sure if I should ask this, but what happened out there?

Bowser (holding a semi-sloppy drawing of a Goldeen with X's for eyes and charred fin): Listen, Naruto Dude, I want that fish for supper tonight. I don't care what you have to do, but never do I want to see that...thing again.

Digi: I'm not sure if I can do that...besides, we don't necessarily have just one of each Pokémon here. Obviously ones like Moltres are more limited, but Goldeens, Staryus, and the like are more abundant.

Bowser: Whatever. (walks away)

Digi: You don't want to talk about what kind of chance you might still have to qualify for King of the Stadium II?

Bowser: How about no?

Digi: Okay, Navi. I think it's a good time to catch up with Sonic...if he lets you.

Navi (stares at the camera that's focused on her and Sonic): That was not cool. Anyways, moving onto better subjects, Sonic, you've already got yourself qualifies for King of the Stadium. Now, of course, if you're involved in other matches this half of the season, you can try to keep others from taking more slots, so how will you take things from here?

Sonic: Well, I just have to play at my pace, man...I just chilled around for the first while to see what Bowser could do and then I just took it to him! I've got no worries, Navi, and as for the rest of this first half, I'll just do as the situation pleases.

Navi: Anything else you would like to add, Sonic?

Sonic: Nothing I can think of!

Navi: Sonic, always a fun combatant to watch. We'll look for you in King of the Stadium II, alright?

Sonic: Sure.

Navi: Didge, we've got both sides taken care of. Anything you'd like to address the spectators with before we get out of here?

Digi: I've got a few ideas going around, so why not?

1) Do you like the usage and qualification purposes of King of the Stadium II?
2) Will Bowser get a second chance?
3) Were you disappointed at the lack of Super Sonic?
4) How does Sonic's early qualification for KotS II impact the other fighters?
5) (Out of character question: Should there be a Horn Drill Goldeen--or at least a minute probability of one--in SSB4?)