Match #152

The Question: Who's the best leader of their army, and who gets bragging rights over their huge locker rooms?

The Fighters: King Dedede vs. Red vs. Captain Olimar
The Arena: Battlefield
Item Ratio: Medium (Smash Balls only)
Lives: 8 (Super Sudden Death)

--Prologue--

(Game Guru and Digifanatic are showing King Dedede, trailed by a couple of Waddle Dees, his new locker room)

GG: And here we are, Your Majesty, your new home here at the Stadium.

(GG opens the door to King Dedede's room, one of the largest in the area, decked out to a tee in gold designs and big, soft furniture. Dedede drops his jaw)

Dedede: Oh my goodness...it's huge! I love it!

Digi: Well, it has to be fit for a king, you know.

Dedede: I love it I love it I looooove it!

(Dedede tries to hug the two Superpowers; as he's a pretty large character, the SPs dive out of the way to avoid being smothered.)

GG: Uh, thanks but no thanks. You can show your appreciation in...less absorbing ways.

(Around this time, Saiyaman is leading Red past Dedede, GG, and Digi, to the Pokemon locker room, which has been given an addition of its own.)

Dedede: Hey, what's up with this?

GG: Oh, Saiyaman's just showing Red the area where the Pokemon fighters hang out.

(Dedede quietly follows Saiyaman and Red)

Saiyaman: ...and take a look inside!

(Red walks in to the Pokemon locker room, a very spacious area much larger than Dedede's locker room.)

Dedede: Oh, come on! He gets to have a locker room bigger than mine?!

Saiyaman: Uhhh, King Dedede, this room is actually for all of our Pokemon fighters. You're forgetting about Pikachu, Jigglypuff and the others.

Digi: Hey, look at it this way, Your Majesty, your locker room's bigger than Bowser's and Donkey Kong's, and Donkey Kong is the reigning King of the Stadi--

Dedede: King of Super Smash Stadium?

Digi: Well, it's more of a fighting title than an actual privilege...

Dedede: SIGN ME UP, BOY!

GG: SSS rules state you have to win a match first in order to qualify for the King of the Stadium match, which will be at the end of the season.

Dedede: Good enough! I'm a big guy, I'll knock 'em all out! (looks at Red) Put me up against him!

Red: Hey, I have three Pokeballs that say I can take you on any day!

Dedede: ...he is a fighter! Can't be any more pesterin' than Kirby, though--

Red: Go, Charizard! (summons Charizard from his Pokeball, who lets out a roar at Dedede)

Dedede (with a big sweatdrop coming down his face): Nice...lizard...

Red: So what were you saying about being a big guy?

Dedede: Okay, okay...try this! (whistles as his Waddle Dees and some Doos walk over. A Gordo pops in from thin air as well, staring at Red.)

Red: And those are your friends?

Dedede: We'll see how well your Pokeydudes take the blow when I fling my buddies in like a fastball! (swings his hammer around like a baseball bat)

Red: You're on!

Digi: Right. King Dedede vs. Red. (takes notes)

(Dedede walks back out into the hallway...now Metal Man comes walking in, leading Captain Olimar and a small train of Pikmin over to his new locker room. Dedede glances at Olimar, some of the Pikmin stepping away from the big penguin.)

Dedede: Hey, Knight, who's this little one?

Metal: Kn--whaa? No way, I'm not him. It's me... (stands up very tall, speaking in an overexaggeratedly deep tone) Metal Man!

Dedede: *Looks unimpressed*

Metal: And that is Olimar, space captain EXTREME! ...And he's a new fighter here.

Dedede: I... see. (Shakes his head at Metal, then looks inside Olimar's locker room, at least as large as Dedede's, with a large hatch in the ceiling. His jaw drops again.) How does he get that?!

Olimar: Well, sir, I need a place to store my rocket...

Dedede: Yeah, haven't you seen the parking garage though? My car, Wario's bike...

Olimar: It's...part of my job. Aside from this fighting...I need it, as opposed to someone like you who can just leisurely drive your car around.

Saiyaman: You try piloting a rocket when you can't park it on the top floor of the garage.

Olimar: Besides, many of my Pikmin friends like sleeping in a place knowing that Bulborbs won't barge into it at night, even though they don't appear to exist on this planet. Also, I need a space with atmosphere more close to my home planet.

Dedede: Oh, so you--(a yellow Pikmin latches onto Dedede and shocks him a couple of times) Hey, come on! We're not even fightin' right now!

(Digi leans over to Metal)

Digi: Listen, I'm interested in this Dedede vs. Red fight. You think we can get Olimar in as well?

Metal: Sure thing. (rips a PA speaker off the ceiling, wires it into his suit, and screams.) QUIEEEEETTTTT!!!! (fighters eventually calm down) Finally. Sheesh. Captain Olimar, we have scheduled a brawl between King Triple D here and Red, the Pokemon Trainer. Are you a bad enough fighter to take them on?

Olimar: Well, Hocotate is not expecting much activity right now. I suppose I should keep myself occupied while I'm here. I may as well join in.

Digi: Chance to fight with some of our new Brawlers...

Olimar: I accept. May I please sign?

GG: Well, you don't need to sign anything.

Olimar: Sorry, I'm a business man. I'm used to signing things.

Digi: Fair enough, but you're in anyway.

Olimar: Thank you very much.

Dedede: Ahhh, two guys I get to beat up now! (starts walking away with his assistants)

(Red leans in to talk to Saiyaman, looking at Dedede)

Red (muttering to Saiyaman): What's up with him?

Saiyaman (back to Red): Just... (puts on his sunglasses) an inflated ego.

Metal (into the PA): YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

--Pre-Match--

(The commentary booth. Digi is there as one might expect--this time, he's tagged Mario along with him.)

Digi: Hello, folks! Today Mario will be scouting out some of his possible competition for King of the Stadium II as we get set for this third match since the expansion of the Super Smash Stadium roster. Here, we're looking to see who's the best commander of their army.

Mario: Least-a they seem-a to-a have better-a order than-a Bowser over a-the Koopa Troop.

(from the stands)

BLU Soldier: Oh, those pansies don't know nothin'! I was in the trenches with my mates firin' real weapons, not flinging around little critters!

BLU Heavy: If only I could fire Sasha into Battlefield!

(back to the booth)

Digi: Right. Bowser's also claimed a much higher level of territory than Red and Olimar after all. Dedede's got some land, though. Anyways, to keep the theme strong, Battlefield is the arena, and no items except Smash Balls will be used. And since we're talking big armies, what better way to settle the score than Super Sudden Death rules?

Mario: Well-a, that's-a true.

Digi: Any particular fighters you're looking at this match?

Mario: I've-a heard a-rumors about Captain-a Olimar's Final-a Smash...they-a better watch out. He-a says it's-a match-a ender.

Digi: True. However, considering this match will be contested under Super Sudden Death rules, I think Dedede has the edge in terms of Final Smashes...he's already a powerful fighter, what if he's invincible?

Mario: I-a see your-a point. Also, I-a believe the-a fighters are-a getting anxious.

Digi: Indeed they are. Red's already walking over to the bottom platform, studying his three partners...

(A crash is heard)

Mario: And-a Olimar has-a poofed into-a the arena from-a his rocket!

Dedede: Hey! Don't start without me! (whistles as a few Waddle Dees come scurrying in with his throne) Ah, much better. (jumps up into the throne as the Dees walk him in)

Digi: Alright, all three fighters are ready, and Red has chosen Charizard to start for him. Considering how I saw Charizard spook Dedede earlier, I'm not surprised!

Mario: And-a Olimar has-a with him a white-a, red-a and yellow-a Pikmin. A decent-a little mix.

Digi: They're getting ready...and the whistle is blown! We're fighting! Dedede is quickly eyeing Red's Charizard and wants it to go down...

Mario: Maybe-a down with-a him, as Dedede...lunges-a up and tries-a to crush Charizard?

Digi: That'd be the Super Dedede Jump which misses. Charizard hurls a rock at Dedede and he's already down one life!

Mario: Charizard-a, big-a but-a agile. Olimar-a, small-a but-a agile.

Digi: Yeah, Olimar plucks up a few more Pikmin to max his total to 6 as he throws the white one onto Charizard, poisoning him. Dedede returns and stuffs Charizard's face with a Waddle Doo! Good break on his opening toss.

Mario: Charizard-a fans some-a flames on Olimar and Dedede-a finishes the job-a with his hammer!

"Solid Snake Boxing Company: No gloves necessary!"
King Dedede
Red (Charizard)
Olimar
Lives: 7
Lives: 8
Lives: 7
300%
309%
300%

Digi: And now we have Charizard flying out of the way of Olimar, who instead tosses a blue Pikmin at Dedede, a little deja vu. He's shocked but comes back to punch Olimar again. Keep in mind Olimar needs new Pikmin whenever he loses a life...

Mario: Olimar-a has-a got to be-a careful. I-a mentioned his-a Final-a Smash, he-a might-a not make it to-a the first Smash-a Ball at this-a rate!

Digi: But Olimar uses his chain of Pikmin to just stay alive. He comes back and smashes Charizard, he's gone! Dedede flings a Waddle Dee at Olimar, who gets tosses around, but still hanging on.

Mario: Red-a has-a summoned a-Squirtle, who's-a right-a in the way of-a the Dedede Jet-a Hammer! Bad-a choice, Red!

Digi: More like right place, wrong time. You know, like when Bowser's in front of that axe instead of guarding it?

Mario: Aye, what-a a stupid-a Koopa!

Digi: Meanwhile, Olimar has tossed a purple Pikmin right up into Dedede who goes flying.

Mario: From a distance, Red uses-a Ivysaur to-a Razor Leaf-a Olimar. Pokemon and-a Pikmin, they-a sound too similar...

Digi: (coughs) Mario and Olimar, SS Dolphin ships and Isle Delfino...

Mario: Yeah, yeah...Ivy-a-saur uses his-a vines to toss-a Dedede away! ...That-a means he could-a lift me-a up without-a trying!

"Saturn Valley Coffee recall--more at 6 ZoOm BoInG!"
King Dedede
Red (Ivysaur)
Olimar
Lives: 5
Lives: 6
Lives: 7
300%
300%
315%

Digi: We need a Smash Ball in here... (gently tosses one in towards the top edge of the arena) alright, folks, go get it!

Mario: Now-a we will-a see who's-a really good at keeping their-a troops in-a line!

Digi: Dedede's puffing up a few times to go for it first. On the other hand, Olimar has been knocked out by an Ivysaur smash, which gives him a chance to jump up, but he's hit by Dedede. Red switches back to Charizard.

Mario: Dedede-a knocks it-a down once! It's-a reeling, any-a good-a hit will-a do...and Charizard uses an aerial smack-a to get-a it!

Digi: But a blue Pikmin clamps onto Charizard! Water on fire, Charizard loses control of the Smash Ball!

Mario: Perfect-a use of-a elements! Olimar-a sends up-a red Pikmin to grab-a the Smash-a Ball and it-a hits!

Digi: Charizard tosses Dedede into the stratosphere, and Olimar uses his Final Smash just as Dedede revives.

Mario: Oh-a, there's-a his-a rocket right-a now! What's he-a...

Digi: Oh my, Bulborbs have come in and are chomping the meat off of Dedede and Charizard! Red's trying to recall Charizard for Squirtle, but the Bulborbs knock the Pokeball away.

Mario: Olimar is-a back and Dedede kicks Charizard off-a the platform!

Digi: Olimar dances with his Pikmin a bit which is enough time for Dedede to charge the Jet Hammer and take Olimar off as well!

"Blissey Aspirin, super-effective against your case of the Psyducks!"
King Dedede
Red (Squirtle)
Olimar
Lives: 4
Lives: 5
Lives: 5
340%
300%
300%

Mario: Red-a and-a Olimar are-a doing a good-a enough job at-a keeping the big-a guy in-a trouble.

Digi: In Super Sudden Death, being heavy and hard to throw around is not much an advantage as in a normal fight. Squirtle gets hit by a Waddle Dee and a white Pikmin gets Dedede.

Mario: Dedede should-a be a-lucky that-a that Pikmin wasn't-a going for-a the kill. He takes-a advantage by-a swallowing-a Olimar.

Digi: Spits him right into Squirtle's path! The Pokemon goes flying!

Mario: I-a believe Red-a would-a be the-a first Pokemon to-a make it-a in to King-a of the-a Stadium-a II if he-a wins this-a one.

Digi: Yes, that could set up some alliances within the Pokemon team if he can get some others. Any chance you and Luigi might work together in that one since you won a team match?

Mario (deadpan): I-a...don't-a think-a so.

Digi: And there you see, Ivysaur has seeded Dedede a few times, but gets hit by a red Pikmin! Again, Olimar using the elements to annoy Red's partners. Olimar recalls his Pikmin to change the order and scatters Dedede away with a white and yellow Pikmin flanking his sides! Dedede...isn't going to make it.

"Luigi's new rugby league seeking past Koopa football players."
King Dedede
Red (Ivysaur)
Olimar
Lives: 3
Lives: 4
Lives: 5
300%
309%
310%

Digi: Ivysaur grabs Olimar and slams him into the ground a bit, Dedede comes back and gets another Waddle Doo which misses...but it's walking around, and beams Olimar!

Mario: Olimar-a didn't-a see it coming, but I-a bet-a the Doo-a did!

Digi: Well, when you got one huge eye like that and nobody's attacking it, you're in a good spot. Dedede takes advantage and tosses Olimar away, no Pikmin Chain will help him this time. Ivysaur launches into Dedede with his vines, which sends His Majesty in the same direction as Olimar...oh, but he just clings inside the boundary and might be able to float back!

Mario: Dedede cautious-a-ly counting his-a jumps, and this time again-a with-a the Super-a Jump, onto a-Ivysaur!

Digi: They've got to start going for Olimar! Dedede's fortunate he KO'd Ivysaur with the Super Dedede Jump so he can smack Olimar a few times with the hammer, sweeping away some Pikmin in the process.

Mario: But-a killing Ivysaur only-a makes-a Red send-a out a-Charizard! He-a stomps Olimar-a once and flings-a the King away! Not-a dead-a, though.

Digi: Olimar plucks a purple Pikmin--say that five times fast--and sends it to the front of the order. He runs in close and slams Charizard up for it.

Mario: But-a Charizard gets-a to-a his senses just-a in time as he-a comes down and smashes Dedede away. That's-a gonna do it that-a time!

Digi: Learning anything from these three?

Mario: Don't-a pick on-a the little-a guy. Hey, Toad's-a pretty-a strong a-too.

Digi: He is, but as long as he's being relegated to Peach's bodyguard here at the Stadium...oh, just as a Pikmin hit Dedede, Charizard meteors Olimar into the lower boundary!

"YES! Show them your cooking moves with Falcon Punch Hot Sauce!"
King Dedede
Red (Charizard)
Olimar
Lives: 2
Lives: 3
Lives: 3
304%
316%
300%

Mario: Olimar-a returns and-a quickly pulls-a up a few-a Pikmin...purple, blue and-a white for-a now. Who's-a he gonna use them-a on?

Digi: I believe he's going for Charizard this time, tossing the purple one at the big lizard for some good points. Charizard goes past the main platform stage right but is just able to fly back. However, Dedede swings at Charizard and he's gone!

Mario (tossing in a second Smash Ball): Dedede has-a to set his-a sights on-a Olimar now. No-a other choice! He-a grabs him...

Digi: ...and tosses him right at Squirtle who juggles the little captain several times while riding inside his shell. Squirtle quickly gets back out, going for the Smash Ball as Olimar tries to use his Pikmin to surround Dedede.

Mario: Squirtle-a using Waterfall on-a the Smash-a Ball, a good-a move since it's-a hitting it many-a times. Olimar going-a for the kill with-a smash on-a Dedede!

Digi: It connects and Dedede is down to his last life! Squirtle has absorbed the Smash Ball and quickly goes opposite Olimar! How and where is Red going to get his team's Final Smash going?

Mario: He-a might-a want to-a wait for-a Dedede, he-a could take-a him out of-a the match if it's-a well-a placed enough!

Digi: I think that's what he's waiting for, but with Dedede's invincibility, he knocks Squirtle around a bit...and floats away right as Red is able to calls out his others!

Red: We can still win this! Triple Finish, now! (tosses out Ivysaur and Charizard by Squirtle)

Mario: Oh! If-a Dedede can say afloat long enough, he can-a avoid the Final-a Smash and stay-a in this match! Olimar is-a caught up!

Digi: Olimar's going to get blasted...and Dedede cannot stay afloat long enough! He's hit by the fringe of Squirtle's Hydro Pump part of the attack, and he's going to get sent off! That's what happens when you trash talk a Pokemon Trainer, I guess...now it's one on one.

"For everyday cleaning, use THE CAT!" --Emir of Groovefunkistan
King Dedede
Red (Squirtle)
Olimar
Lives: 0
Lives: 2
Lives: 2
OUT
300%
300%

Mario: Is that a new-a Bowser-a territory?

Digi: I believe it's a fake ad. Anyways, Squirtle and Olimar have caught their breath...but Red switches out for Ivysaur! Olimar was fooled all of the way, but that leaves Ivysaur vulnerable...

Mario: And-a Olimar-a capitalizes! A yellow Pikmin zaps-a Ivysaur off-a to the side-a which-a allows Olimar to about-a face, tossing a white Pikmin at him!

Digi: You might think Ivysaur can take the poisonous blow, but nope! He's reeling...he tries to shake off the Pikmin, but that just allows Olimar to slam a red one into Ivysaur! Red will be down to one more life.

Mario: Once again, Olimar has-a to-a wait...here-a comes-a Charizard.

Digi: If Charizard can get in a quick kill, Red's sitting pretty. Olimar plucks another white and a purple Pikmin to get back up to a chain of 6, but Charizard gets in a Flamethrower to kill some of them off...

Mario: Olimar is-a able to roll out of-a the way and-a under the-a lizard. The white-a one got-a spared, so he-a throws-a it at Charizard. Red-a certainly can't-a make the same-a move he-a did last-a time and-a switch again!

Digi: And Charizard wants to stay in it! He grabs Olimar and tosses him up, and Olimar will be down to one life. Now Red switches to Squirtle, better timing this time.

Mario: Let's-a see if Squirtle-a pays off for-a Red here...he grabs-a Olimar--no, he-a doesn't! Wow, Olimar rolled away and he-a rushes in to slide into-a Squirtle!

Digi: He's got a big purple Pikmin leading the way which smashes into Squirtle! He's gone--score one for the little guys, cause Olimar has won the fight! Game set!

Mario: Oh, they're-a dancing on the top-a platform, and-a good for them!

--Post-Match--

Digi: It appears as if Navi has already caught up to Red, who looks pretty happy despite finishing second. Navi, what's going on down there?

Navi: Yes, Red, I see all of your partners are giving you a round of applause...well, Squirtle's sliding around in his shell, but nonetheless, they seem to be alright.

Red: That King Dedede gave us a bit of a hard time before the match again, I wanted to make sure my Pokemon and I made him eat his words. It's a bit disappointing we didn't win the fight, but we got him to shut up for now!

(Charizard roars again)

Navi: Your first offical match as a member of the SSS, do you like the experience so far?

Red: If nothing else, my time on Kanto has certainly helped.

Navi: Ah, well thanks very much, good luck next time you're fighting.

Red: Welcome. (tips his cap)

Digi: Navi, I noticed you haven't found Olimar yet. What's going on? Doesn't he want to acknowledge his win?

Navi: Actually, he left us a note...(reads it) "Dear staff, I am sorry to decline an interview after winning this match, but for now, I have to make sure business with Hocotate remains stable. After all, we cannot be running short on items here, and so on. I also need to let my family and Louie know that everything is going fine in the Stadium. I am gratious to be given a spot in the King of the Stadium match, and for that I'd like to thank the Superpowers for accepting me into the group of fighters."

Digi: Fair enough, I suppose. Any chance of finding King Dedede?

Navi: I think I saw him talking to Kirby about something.

Digi: Dedede trying to form an alliance with Kirby, huh? Do tell.

Navi: Kirby's disappointed that he hasn't had a chance to finish his fight with Mario, and Dedede feels the Super Sudden Death rules worked to his disadvantage, so they're trying to get themselves into more fights. Keep in mind that their relationship is often no worse than friendly rivals...

Digi: True, but I think this whole King of the Stadium concept is getting to his head.

Navi (rolls her eyes): Why shouldn't I be surprised? Oh, right, Kiiiing Dedede. Hey, lobby while you can.

Digi: Sounds like my conversation with him before the match. Anyways, got a few questions, the fans know what to do:

1. Does Dedede have a right to complain about other Brawlers' room locker sizes?
2. Do you trust those fake ads?
3. Are you okay with how Olimar took his win?
4. Will Dedede and Kirby's plan work?
5. What the heck happened to Mario after the match ended? Was it one of those days?

Digi: And with that, I believe we're out of here. Take care everyone!