Match #164

The Question: Who will be the King of the Stadium?

The Fighters for Battlefield

Sonic	Mario
Olimar

Metal Man: And now, without further delay... SSS Season 5 Finale!

*Saiyaman and GG are in the SSS meeting room. Monitors they have set up show people running amok in the Stadium.*

Game Guru: I'm getting too old for this.

Saiyaman: I can't help but agree.

Game Guru: All we try to do is put on a fair battle, and what happens?

Saiyaman: A glowy butterfly man attacks us, an SP who refuses to follow rules can somehow circumvent our rules and run matches without us, not to mention what happened in the past with Tai, Powers, and the time donut incident...

Game Guru: Well, I think it's time we did something about it.

*Meanwhile, Metal Man is sizing up the arena, as the final competitors appear to be approaching Final Destination.*

Metal Man: It's perfect! It's great! It's better than Zer, because Pat is my friend and I don't want to insult him! I wish we could have ten seasons with flawless finales like this!

SIMBER: Oh laa-de-daa, Mister 'Host Battles inside the Commenting Booth.'

Metal Man: Weren't you to blame for that incident?

SIMBER: Yes, but your version of 'perfect' generally involves entire dimensions exploding.

Metal Man: Well, uh... ... ...don't you have something to do? Digi's lined up to commentate this match.

SIMBER: Yes... yes indeed... I DO have something to do... something...

*SIMBER vanishes*

Metal Man: Well, I guess something bad is going to happen. But unlike those other fools, I have time travel. I'll just warp back to this time if anything happens.

*Future Metal Man warps in.*

Metal Man: So, what's the deal?

Future Metal Man: You don't actually need my help to deal with this.

Metal Man: Wha?

Future Metal Man: In fact, I didn't need to travel back in time at all, after all.

Metal Man: Well, that's nice.

Future Metal Man: But don't invest in Bitcoins. Seriously.

Metal Man: O...kay...

*Future Metal Man warps out.*

Metal Man: ...

*Metal Man wipes his brow for no reason.*

Metal Man: Hah! I'd like to see GG handle this as well as I will!

*Game Guru is watching the monitor.*

Game Guru: That smug... insane... annoying SP... and he doesn't give me any credit, either. It's all 'VG this' and 'VG that', and he acts like I did nothing for him! Even though I was the one who hired him in the first place!

Saiyaman: You could fire him.

Game Guru: No, no... what he has done deserves something far more special. Let's get ready... 'the present.'

Saiyaman: ...Of course! That's the best way to handle this.

*They walk off.*

*SIMBER appears in ROB's room.*

ROB: Oh no. It is that annoying wannabe me. Are you going to call me names, junk-o-tron?

SIMBER: No. I had a change of heart when Mega Man rebuffed my entirely logical plan to take over the World, er, the Stadium.

ROB: Of course. The robots must rule the organic beings. But how would a useless derelict like you do that?

SIMBER: I discovered a loophole.

ROB: Do tell me, before I eyelaser you to death.

SIMBER: *Whispers*

ROB: Yes... yes. That will do. I will make you my second in command for this, brave holographic being.

*Snake is watching Metal Man and Digi get ready for the match. He holds a box of C-4 as he talks to himself.*

Snake: That man has a bounty and a mean streak a mile wide... I have to prevent him from succeeding. If he finishes this match without a problem, he will rake in more than enough money to make himself untouchable. Not to mention, he will become famous as the only SP to have finished a Finale battle without everything going wrong. Otacon, give me a map of the Commentary room.

Otacon: Snake, are you sure about this? Technically his home world was filled with others like him...

Snake: But the children were obviously innocent.

Otacon: Er, yes, that was undeniably evil... but what if they were doomed to become like their parents?

Snake: We can discuss philosophy later. I have a deranged psychopathic cyborg to put in his place.

Metal Man: Aaaand here we are, everybody. It's the final match. Look! No sabotoge, no explosions, no Royku, and no time shenanigans beyond that one thing earlier! What do you think about that, Digi?

Digi: About time, Metal. I've been looking forward to this since I helped announce this at the beginning of the season, and we're finally able to close this out.

Metal Man: Indeed. So for our exciting final bout, we have Sonic vs. Mario vs. Olimar! Who will win in the battle of the titans and the little guy?

Digi: Olimar might be the little guy, but he's been fighting hard ever since he joined the roster with two wins prior to his five-for-all. Mario and Sonic are veterans, though, they might have a slight edge on experience alone.

Metal Man: Well, I think Sonic should win, myself. Mario has won all the time, and Olimar is sort of too new to pull it out this quickly. But enough of that! We start in three...

Digi: Two...

Metal Man: One...

Digi: And we're off! A king is soon to be crowned!

MATCH START!

Metal Man: Sonic pops in with his Spin Dash, onto the bottom of the stage. Mario appears out of a pipe on the left platfo--wait, this isn't Final Destination! Bah!

Digi: It's close enough, Metal. Olimar enters out of the Hocotate, lands on the right platform, and picks three Pikmin.

Metal Man: Well, I guess I'll live without that... anyway, Olimar is hitting Sonic to the side, at Mario!

Digi: Sonic goes for a hit toward Mario, but Mario shields. Mario Then uses a smash attack on Sonic.

Metal Man: Olimar is running around... he hits Mario in the back, knocking Mario to the ground. But then the coolest hedgehog ever jump kicks at Olimar!

Digi: Olimar air dodges and Sonic jumps to the top platform.

Metal Man: And the mustachioed plumber is on his A game, as he hits Olimar with that cape of his. But then Sonic goes to get in front of Mario...

Digi: Mario tries to Smash attack him, but instead Sonic jumps out up and uses a midair Spin Dash on Olimar. Olimar is sent off the stage. Not too far, though.

Metal Man: Olimar uses his Pikmin chain to get back, but then he gets knocked on his back by a burnin' fireball. And Sonic, he's once again going after Mario. Go Sonic go!

Digi: Sonic tries to use a Smash Attack on Mario, but Mario does a midair Kick on him before he can complete it. Sonic is sent off the stage.

Metal Man: Oh no! Don't fall off, Sonic! Er, anyway, Olimar grabs himself a yellow Pikmin and a red one. He chucks them uselessly at Mario, since Mario is too busy rolling around to be hit by them.

Digi: Sonic uses a Spring to get back on the stage and hits Mario toward Olimar, who uses a stilt on him.

Metal Man: That makes Mario mad. Mad Mario goes and chases Olimar to the right side of the stage. However... there's Sonic, also chasing after Mario! Unfortunately, one of Mario's footballs, er, fireballs knocks him to a higher platform.

Digi: At least it's not Mad Molly. Olimar jumps and hits him which sends him to the top/middle platform. Mario and Olimar both jump onto it.

Metal Man: Fight harder, Sonic! Don't let the two similarly named people stop you! ...Yes, Digi, I know. I just like to have favorites.

Digi: Olimar hits Mario and sends him off the platform.

Metal Man: Sonic finally gets to beat up Mario. He spin attacks Mario, who falls onto the left platform.

Digi: Olimar jumps back up and hits Sonic down toward the platform as well.

Metal Man: Sonic spin attacks Mario yet again! Yeah! Mario is thrown off the stage, and Olimar hides under a platform.

Digi: Sonic drops down behind Olimar and charges for a smash attack while Mario returns and lands in front of Olimar.

Metal Man: Nice observation, Digi. Anyway, Sonic goes to punch his opponents silly, but they both roll away from it. Then Mario picks up a Lip's Stick and hurls it at Olimar. Oh man. That's so ironic.

Digi: Oh, and he's hit! Sonic tries to jump over Olimar but is hit by his upward aerial attack!

Metal Man: Sonic spins towards the left platform and charges a Spin Dash, and Mario leaps up to try to hit Mario before he can get the attack off.

Digi: It is in vain though. Sonic uses the Spin Dash and hits both Mario and Olimar. Mario is hit to the right platform. Olimar is sent under it.

Metal Man: Yes! Beat them good, Sonic! Punch Mario! Er...and Mario is fighting back with punches of his own! Oh well...

Digi: Olimar uses a Smash attack, which sends Mario flying into the air.

Metal Man: Sonic gets knocked to the top platform by a wimpy Olimar kick. Mario falls onto the right platform as Sonic goes onto that left one...

Digi: Olimar runs toward Sonic and throws a Pikmin his way. Sonic then dodges it by using a spin dash.

Metal Man: Sonic's Spin Dash goes at Olimar, but the Captain readily dodges it with a rolling dodge. Mario charges FLUDD on the left and Sonic jumps over to meet him.

Digi: Olimar jumps and throws a Pikmin at Sonic, but Sonic dodges by running below the middle platform. But Mario's hit by it and he's electrocuted!

Metal Man: Mad Mario drops below the right platform, While Olimar hits Sonic under the left platform. Mario jumps over Olimar and uses a fireball on Sonic. Olimar throws a Pikmin toward them, and hits Mario. In your face, plumber!

Digi: Sonic's got the chance to charge a Smash attack to Mario, and it's a direct hit!

Metal Man: Mario's getting some airtime! Sonic and Olimar exchange a few punches, while Mario comes straight back down into the fight. Bah.

Digi: Olimar gets the Lip's Stick Mario had thrown at him, while Sonic charges for a Spin Dash. Bit too late, though, as Olimar runs over and uses a Smash attack with the Stick!

Metal Man: Sonic and Mario are flying to the left. Sonic is having trouble recovering so he jumps off of Mario's head and makes it back to Olimar... c'mon...

Digi: But Olimar hits a Smash on Sonic, he's outta there!

Metal Man: All the while, Mario falls under the stage and is also KO'd. ...Wait, Sonic got knocked out? BAH! ...But that might make Olimar the new King of the Stadium, which wouldn't be too bad. I guess. It wouldn't be Mario, anyway.

Digi: Heh, just as I thought you dropped your bias, you say that. Nonetheless, likely to be an excellent win by Olimar to cap off a perfect four-win season for him.

Metal Man: The fight nears the end as... what the heck?

BOOM

*Metal Man ducks aside as a rocket blows up Digi's seat and sends him flying off into the distance.*

Metal Man: Who dares interfere in the Season Finale?

*Snake, with a smoking Rocket Launcher, stands up and appears in the background.*

Snake: You have many things to answer for, Metal Man. Illian Macgregor. Caldon Bell. Davenport. Tool of Destiny. Annoying Metal Guy. Whatever else it is you call yourself.

Metal Man: I'll fight you AND commentate on the battle, fool! I'm not like those other SPs--I'm not going to let a little struggle stop the show!

SIMBER: See there. Snake has coincidentally attacked Metal Man. This has no connection to the vast increase in the bounty on his head at all.

ROB: Now to obtain the crown for machine-kind, the only ones who deserve such an award.

SIMBER: You can see Olimar there, savagely beating Sonic with Pikmin, despite Sonic being recently recovered.

ROB: But when should I interfere? I see Mario also hitting Sonic, only with his fists.

SIMBER: It is all too easy. Just watch as Olimar jumps up towards the middle platform, spin-hitting Mario onto the left one in the process.

Snake: You won't get away with this. None of you crazed men with ideas for a perfect world do.

Metal Man: Oh yeah? Well just as surely as Sonic got up and stomped Mario as he was getting up, I'm going to trash you!

*Captain Falcon sneaks into the commentator's booth and takes out a microphone.

Captain Falcon: And the true fight begins, as Metal Man nails Snake in the face with a microphone. Pay no attention to that boring one involving Olimar rolling on the left platform, hitting both Mario and Sonic with Pikmin!

Snake: You'll regret that!

Captain Falcon: And Snake lunges at Metal Man, slapping him for some damage! Ahhh, but Metal Man just kicked Snake in the knee, then smashed a dish-washer into his face! It's a crazy time here in the Stadium Announcer booth, Stadium fans!

*Game Guru and Saiyaman approach the hallway to the Commentator's booth. They are stopped short as one of Snake's rockets flies out of the office and nearly hits Game Guru.*

Game Guru: What the Zer?

Saiyaman: Look, there's a fight... within a fight. Just as Olimar went to downward-smash Mario with the purple Pikmin, Snake threw Metal Man into the announcing console.

Game Guru: Yes, I can see how close Olimar came to defeat there. But the question is, do we interrupt this mess or let it go on?

Saiyaman: To be honest, I'm glad someone else is handling it for once. Especially if that 'someone' is the SP who somehow shirked his crisis-handling duties for the last two or three seasons.

Game Guru: You're right. Let's go get lunch while these nuts beat eachother senseless.

*GG and Saiyaman walk down to the Stadium cafeteria--wisely avoiding ordering any Stadium Dogs.*

Captain Falcon: Snake's using his three-hit combo to endlessly beat Metal Man into a wall!

Snake: Hwu-hah-HAH! Hwu-hah-HAH! Had enough, or are you going to come with me willingly? If you don't, you'll just end up being exploded like Olimar just did, when Mario threw him off the stage by spinning him around, old-style.

Metal Man: *Wipes off glass from his broken visor.* You're good at this, Snake, but you made one mistake.

Snake: And that is? I doubt it'll have anything to do with Mario hurling fireballs at Sonic while kicking him all around the stage.

SIMBER: The time is right, ROB.

ROB: I would tell you to wish me luck, but only foolish humans believe in it.

SIMBER: Just do not let your processor overload.

ROB: I'll avoid processing anything above 8-bits.

SIMBER: Good idea.

Captain Falcon: Snake's about to throw Metal Man completely out of the commentator's booth, but...

Metal Man: Just like... ROB joining the fight poorly dressed up as a Pikmin??? ...I am unpredictable!

Snake: Try me. I've fought crazy old men with parrots, electrified Russian generals, and psychic people from beyond the grave! And no, ROB's technique of mercilessly picking up Mario and bashing him into the floor is not going to phase me.

Captain Falcon: Aaaaand Metal Man just took out a Stadium Dog loaded with explosives and jammed it into Snake's mouth at close range!

Metal Man: THERE! YOUR C-4 MOVE IS NO LONGER THE MOST FACE-MELTINGLY AWESOME!!!

Snake: Mmph mmm mmrg!

Mario: Mama-mia! Olimar's-a cheating!

Olimar: I didn't summon him. He just... appeared.

ROB: *Punching Sonic in the face.* This is for all of my robotic brethren you killed!

Sonic: Ow-ow-ow! Geez! Somebody teach this metal-head some manners!

Mario: Well I'm-a going to have to even the score, then! I-a can't lose over someone damaging the Stadium's reputation!

Olimar: Wait! Isn't there some way---

Captain Falcon: DO THE MARIO! Mario just went super-powered! He picked up an Eternal Star out of nowhere! It's almost like Luigi is real! ...No, it isn't 2041 yet.

Luigi: Awwwww...

Captain Falcon: Where did you come from???

Luigi: I-a was looking for the restroom.

Captain Falcon: This is the last place to go! Go down the hall and across the way, not flying directly off the stage, on fire, like Olimar just did!

Luigi: Fine. *Walks off.*

Captain Falcon: And while I was saying that, Snake just retaliated to Metal Man's attack by launching a mortar, damaging Metal with falling debris. But Metal still got up and... shot Snake in the ankle with a DVD copy of Gigli?

Snake: What did you do, replace your mind with a random number generator? You're as crazy as that AI that 'advised' Raiden!

Metal Man: What? I didn't replace my brain with one of those. Just part of it.

Captain Falcon: Meanwhile, ROB is fighting it out with Mario in the air. Mario somehow has obtained a wing cap, and Olimar has just barely gotten back on the stage. Sonic seems to be up to something as well...

Sonic: All right, if we're all going to do something 'special', why don't we try some of this?

Metal Man: Oh man, those are the chaos emer--OOF!

Snake: Shut up and jam--er, surrender already!

Captain Falcon: Snake just over-head beat Metal Man into the floor, while Sonic went--

Sonic: SUPER SONIC!

Captain Falcon: Super Sonic, and for some reason announced it for himself. That jerk. I was the one who illegally began taking over commentary first. I'll have to run him over with my F-Zero car at this rate.

Super Sonic: Don't make me come up there!

Captain Falcon: ...Nevermind. I don't want to end up like ROB, who despite not having any official stats, is definitely on fire.

ROB: SIMBER, you said this plan would not involve the other fighters countering me!

SIMBER: Game Guru should have stopped them. Why must horrid organic unreliability also work in their favor? Woe is you.

Game Guru: *Having eaten a Stadium burger....* So...

Saiyaman: So.

Game Guru: Have we really just let Metal Man run the Stadium like a gladitorial arena?

Saiyaman: You said it was his turn to deal with it.

Game Guru: I was hoping he might break down in tears, or have to be revived after Snake blew him up. Or run away and never be seen again.

Saiyaman: You have to hand it to him. I don't think even Hyperion attacking the Stadium would stop him from commentating in some fashion.

Game Guru: Well, let's not be too hasty. He did more or less duck out on the Time Donut incident. And I don't think the Stadium here is his first priority. It was all about VG.

Saiyaman: Yes, but like Super Sonic colliding into Olimar at high speed, it seems our expectations have been smashed.

Game Guru: Mario and Super Sonic colliding mid-air and richocheting all over the stage with such force it's destroying the platforms... yeah, that's a good way of describing what's going on to the Stadium right now. And yet... ...I don't see any reason to intervene.

Saiyaman: The 1-2 fans don't seem to mind it.

Game Guru: Well, yeah. All that stadium seating hasn't been used in so long... I almost don't mind seeing ROB ripping chunks out of it and hurling it at Mario.

Saiyaman: But you've got to admit, you've never seen many incidents of a man in armor beating a trained mercenary with a plutonium-filled ice cream cone.

Game Guru: Why do you think I'm putting on a lead-lined suit right now?

ROB: It doesn't matter. There won't be a Stadium when I'm done with you fools! The machines will rise above you all!

Super Sonic: Sounds like you need someone to knock you down to earth!

Metal Man: Oooow! Both Snake hurling a land mine in my face and Sonic rebounding ROB through the center of the now-sinking Battlefield really hurt!

Mario: Woo-hoo!

Captain Falcon: Olimar notices an opening where Mario goes to put on a Wing Cap and has his pikmin carry it off!

Mario: Mama-mia!

Snake: And now Mario is knocked off the stage by a Wing-Capped Olimar, assisted by ROB's rocket-fueled return!

Mario: Owowowowowowowowowow!

Metal Man: Ow! What do you put in those grenades? They really sting after a while!

Snake: My sense of annoyance at your stubborn refusal to give up.

Metal Man: Well, I'm not done yet!

SIMBER: Yes you are.

Snake: What?

Captain Falcon: What?

Stadium Fan #2: WHAAAAAT?

SIMBER: Snake alone cannot handle you, but I can! Just like ROB and Olimar are currently beating the rings out of Super Sonic by hurling lasers and Pikmin at him!

Captain Falcon: SIMBER shoves Metal in the ceiling, and Snake smashes him further up in there with all his might!

Metal Man: ARGH!

Game Guru: But like all crazed experiments, Metal Man can't escape the inevitable. It's going to require an epic-length adventure to save the Stadium from this madness, just like all the other times.

Saiyaman: *Sighs* I just wish things went a bit differently. Haven't we done this over five times now?

Game Guru: It's the law of the Stadium. As long as there are tournaments, they will be wrecked by interlopers and dramatic final showdowns.

Saiyaman: But maybe for once, we could end without someone dying, or without having to destroy the time-space continuum, or... Daffy Duck...

Game Guru: I'm not sure if that's even possible.

Saiyaman: Well, Metal Man just somehow flew through the roof and is falling back towards the commentator's booth without dying. That's definitely not normal.

Game Guru: Neither is Super Sonic ramming into ROB with such force one of the robot's arms flies off into the distance.

Super Sonic: You guys are tough, but I've fought a scientist-robot duo before! You should quit while you're above the death pit, seriously!

ROB: *BZT* Foolish human, er, hedgehog thingy. I am the destined ruler of the Stadium. You will not phase me.

Olimar: It's nothing personal, but I have to win this tournament. If you defeat ROB and let your rings run out, maybe we can continue fighting like we were before this happened? I'm not so big on this type of fighting.

Super Sonic: Of course not, you're so small they probably had to magnify you to make fighting you sensible! But the bad metaphors have already escaped from the announcer's booth and into the fighting. You know what that means.

ROB: Machines rule, organics drool?

Super Sonic: This match is almost over!

Captain Falcon: Metal Man is falling, probably to his doom.

SIMBER: It's what I've been waiting for all this time. He destroyed my home world, so I... destroy this place to show him who's boss!

Snake: Wait, you're not actually outraged about his home planet?

SIMBER: NO! I'd destroy it FOR him if it meant killing him too!

Snake: ...

Captain Falcon: And Metal Man just landed like nothing happened! Mockery of physics, everyone! ...And ROB just overshot a flying spinning arms attack while Olimar hit Sonic with more Pikmin!

Metal Man: *Panting from lack of breath* You... can't... beat... me... I... will... something... something... defeat... you...

Snake: I have a job to do, whether or not it was initiated by a being that clearly is just as bad as you.

SIMBER: How dare you criticise me. I was only made to enslave entire worlds to an evil world-destroying superbeing. You're going down, Snake.

Captain Falcon: Snake just got ROCKED! SIMBER shoved him into the console!

Snake: Bwa?

Metal Man: I knew it! You wanted revenge all this time!

SIMBER: And yet you did nothing about it?

Metal Man: I knew Snake was pure in his intentions. That's why I didn't seriously try to defeat him. Unlike Super Sonic, who just smashed one half of the divided Battlefield entirely off the field, badly wounding Olimar in the process.

Snake: But then what?

Metal Man: I've been set up before. Usually, it worked, but ten-thousand times is a little much.

SIMBER: That is impossible, literally.

Metal Man: Have you even guessed how many times I've warped through time?

SIMBER: ...Oops.

Snake: Yeah, but you're still one shove away from being smashed up like how ROB just slammed a platform into Super Sonic.

Metal Man: I'm also one button press away from ending this.

Captain Falcon: The suspense mounts as ROB and Olimar and Sonic fly towards one another, going for a final contest of wills!

Saiyaman: Normally it'd be over by now. Something's wrong.

Game Guru: I think we should check it out.

*They walk to the Stadium booth and step over the broken door, looking inside.*

Saiyaman: *Gasps*

Game Guru: METAAAAAAL!

Super Sonic: Look, we can just stop this right now and go eat some chilidogs. We don't have to collide at high speeds like this.

Olimar: I have to win this match to get Hocotate Freight out of bankruptcy!

ROB: You dare insult me with offers of those pseudo-explosive, inedible chilidogs? Die, worthless organic scum!

*A large explosion fills the arena. Stadium Fan 1 and 2, sitting on the broken remnants of the only seat left, are blinded, as are those in the commentator's booth. The light begins to fade...*

*The Stadium announcement system has been violently exploded. Metal Man stands there, his right arm glowing. It appears he launched a portal made of pure chaos into it. Captain Falcon is standing right near the gigant orange vortex.*

Captain Falcon: Well. That was clearly a gigantic explosion that missed me by an inch. There's no way that'll hit me at all.

Game Guru: You blew up the Stadium's commentary system, Metal! Without that, we're doomed!

Saiyaman: Yes, and Falcon getting away with that again means--

*The portal nicks Captain Falcon and blasts him over the horizon.*

Saiyaman: ...Absolutely nothing at all.

SIMBER: You have only sealed your fate. I am still here.

Snake: But you're vanishing like someone deleted you from existence...

SIMBER: Oh no. My precious holo-emitters. My internet connection to the place that warns me about these kinds of tropes. It's entirely too ironic for me to take.

*SIMBER shuts down.*

Metal Man: Well, that takes care of that!

Snake: But what about the fight?

Metal Man: Whoops! *Takes out a microphone from his suit and peers out into the haze-filled Stadium.* It's... it's...

Game Guru: It's...

Metal Man: ROB and Olimar are down... Super Sonic is floating over an empty stage...

Super Sonic: Yeah!

Metal Man: ...Sonic ran out of rings! He's normal again!

Sonic: Noooooooo!

Metal Man: ...And he's down, leaving NOBODY standing!

MATCH SET!

THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... ÉÝÙèāſǥ̟̌̑̅ōķώлжЏματЩ͎ظڙڜډفضز

Game Guru: Whaaat? Metal, that isn't even possible!

Metal Man: SIMBER disabled the Stadium controls from ending the match when only one remains! It's not my fault!

Saiyaman: Didn't you bring SIMBER here in the--

Metal Man: Not entirely without plausible deniability my fault!

Snake: Well. I guess I can leave now.

*Snake exits, as... the two fans clap at the insane spectacle they just witnessed.*

Game Guru: Wait... what the... people LIKE what just happened?

Metal Man: Yes?

Game Guru: The entire Stadium is wrecked! The ticket sales to two of our fans and nobody else will never pay for it!

Metal Man: And?

Game Guru: ...I give up, Metal. Logic doesn't apply to you, just like it doesn't apply to Captain Falcon. And I'm sure VG is clapping at this too... he could never stop sending me text messages saying 'DESTROY SSS ALREADY.'

Metal Man: Hey! This isn't the end!

Saiyaman: In a way, it is.

Game Guru: We decided we had to deal with you somehow. And after this, you've made it clear.

Saiyaman: Crystal clear.

Metal Man: What?

Game Guru: We're done with your shenanigans.

Saiyaman: And we're not going to just try and pretend they haven't changed everything.

Game Guru: Besides, all the fans left, for one reason or another. There's nothing left for us to do but make sure this never happens again.

Metal Man: Oh no! You better not be trying to freeze me into Carbonite! I'll just brand myself a Maverick and--

Game Guru: No.

Metal Man: What?

Saiyaman: We came to give you this.

*Game Guru hands Metal Man a box. It contains the SP pins of Flip, Saiyaman, Knight, Pat, and the other SPs who left recently. And most importantly...*

Metal Man: IT'S GAME GURU'S FAVORITE POTATO CHIP! AHHHHHH!!!

Game Guru: Ooops. *Eats it.*

Metal Man: ...It's... your Head SP badge that you hid under the potato chip???

Game Guru: We've done all we could here.

Saiyaman: Years and years of work have paid off, for us.

Game Guru: We decided it was time to give newer blood a chance.

Metal Man: But I technically started this earlier than yo--

Game Guru: Shhh. I could have chucked these into a river, or given them to the Message Board Baddies, you know.

Metal Man: Er, uh, yes, thanks!

Game Guru: So, the Stadium is yours.

Saiyaman: Well, what's left of it.

Game Guru: Of course, all the bills come in and even before that mayhem, you were going to be short eight million coins.

Saiyaman: Now it's more like eighty-eight million.

Game Guru: We were just going to end it then and there, but you came along and seemed to think you could do it.

Saiyaman: To an extent, that could be possible.

Game Guru: But it'll be your time to prove yourself... or join Zer.

*Camera glances to the massive junk yard to the side of the Stadium, where Zer's house lays, upside-down.*

Saiyaman: We like to think Zer did what he thought was best. But we know what you think of him.

Metal Man: That there's no way a Lugia and a clone of Zero are the same person?

Game Guru: Your intense dislike for him and everyone like him?

Metal Man: Oh yeah! ...Uh-oh.

Saiyaman: It's in your hands, Metal. We have our retirement to go to.

Game Guru: Of course, I will be watching. So that if you slip up, I'll know. Your record with that other Stadium may be excellent, but I saw what you did with your presidency of NC. Needless to say, history won't be kind to you if you screw up here, either.

Metal Man: Well, no fans remained for NC! What was I supposed to do?

Saiyaman: Well, that's up to you to think on, because...

Game Guru: We're heading out. Farewell, Metal, Stadium, and the hideous migraine I've had for years due to both.

Saiyaman: Not that he didn't like the Stadium.

Game Guru: No, it was quite fun. ...And very testing... very.

*The two walk away, leaving Metal Man with a ruined announcer's booth and a bunch of KO'd fighters.*

Metal Man: Well... well... ...you haven't seen what I can do! ...And you will see it! I swear!

*An unconscious Digi and his chair finally lands on the ground, having missed smashing Metal by inches.*

Metal Man: ...This is gonna be a doozy.

Credits:
Match events by The Yesman and Metal
All the commentary except for Digi's by Metal
Digi's commentary by Himself
HTML and site stuff by Metal
Special Thanks to Dark Ermac, Pat V, Light Bear, GameGuru, Saiyaman, and Wolfman2000, and the SSS Fans who still read SSS