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The Background: Since this is Lemmy's match with color commentary, I'll let him take it from here.
Lemmy: Hello again, folks. It’s your favorite Superpower, Prince Lemmy Koopa!
Crowd: (Cheers)
Lemmy: Thank you, thank you. Today, like last time, I will have color commentary. I apologize that I couldn’t get King Dad for this match, but I’ve got one of my favorite brothers with me, Iggy.
Iggy: Hi, folks. Iggy Koopa here, and I’m going to be commentating with Lemmy today. And WHY DID NOBODY VOTE FOR ME?!?!?!?!?! HMMM?!?!?!?
Lemmy: Calm down, Iggy.
Iggy: I’m calm... I’m calm.
Lemmy: Well, here’s how this match got decided. (pops in video tape)
(On tape, Mario, Link, Fox, and DK are playing Super Mario Kart 64)
Link: Almost there....
Fox: Not in your life! (Toad rams into Bowser, Bowser is unphased)
Link: Nice try. (Bowser hits Toad, sending him into a spinout)
Fox: !!!
Link: And I win!
Mario: (Mario zooms past Toad with a Mushroom boost, claiming second place) Ha! I get second. (Toad recovers and runs through the finish)
Fox: Grr...
DK: You’re cheating!
Mario: No we aren’t, you two are just bad.
Link: Either that or we’re that good.
DK: ARE YOU CALLING ME A BAD PLAYER?!?!?!?
Link: No, I’m calling you a terrible player.
DK: Oh, okay then... HEY! Want to settle this in the ring?
Mario: I think we do.
DK: (to Fox) You in?
Fox: (nods)
Link: Fine, we’ll just have to cream you.
Mario: I’ll do to you what I did to your father!
DK: HA! I was beating you when I was only TWO!
Mario: I’ve beat you in every tournament we’ve both entered! Kart, Party, the second Kart races...
DK: Then lets go! We’ll meet you in Congo Jungle in (looks at his hairy wrist) one hour!
Link: Fine.
Fox: Be there or be square!
Link: Umm... aren’t you two going to go prepare for the match?
Fox: Why should we leave? Why don’t YOU leave?
Link: This is my house.
Fox: (looks around, the cow moos at him) Umm.. You’re right. (He and DK walk out)
(The tape stops.)
Iggy: So where are they?
Lemmy: Relax, there’s a minute left until Showtime.
Iggy: I think I see them!
Link: (rides in on Epona. Malon is riding behind him)
Lemmy: And it appears that Link’s brought a little lady to cheer for him.
Iggy: They better make sure Powers doesn’t see her. The way he runs this place he’d probably make them get married.
Lemmy: Yeah... here’s Mario entering the arena! He’s flying in on a winged cap.
Iggy: And Fox has flown in on an Arwing.
Lemmy: Falco, Slippy, and that rabbit guy are headed for the "Fighters Friends" seats in the crowd.
Iggy: Peppy.
Lemmy: Huh?
Iggy: It’s the rabbit's name. Peppy.
Lemmy: Umm... look, a Barrel has appeared on the field, and out pops DK!
Iggy: The fighters are headed toward their spaces.
Lemmy: And for the twenty-seven in attendance, and the (counts on fingers) eighty-two reading worldwide...
Iggy: LETS GET READY TO SMASH IT!
Lemmy: Don’t you mean rumble?
Iggy: No, that’s trade marked. And they’re off!
Lemmy: Lard boy seems to be off to a good start, teaching the ape a history lesson.
Iggy: Link and Fox are dueling, too bad they can’t figure out what weapons to use.
Link: A true hero uses a blade! Ever watch Star Wars?
Fox: (at the same time) A true hero uses a blaster! Ever watch Star Wars?
Lemmy: And a bang bang here, and a chop chop there.
Iggy: Don’t look now, but an item has fallen on the moving platforms!
Lemmy: (doesn’t look) What kind of item? I can’t see!
Iggy: You can look...
Lemmy: It’s a fan! And DK grabs it!
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Iggy: But DK doesn’t have any fans! So Mario steals the item!
Lemmy: Meanwhile, Link and Fox have a long range duel!
Iggy: Link’s boomerang seems to be doing the trick.
Lemmy: And an crate falls! DK grabs it!
Iggy: The IDIOT! Mario gets him with an Ultimate Punch and he’s outta there!
Lemmy: Not quite, Spinning Kong caught the edge.
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Iggy: Link seems to be doing well himself. He’s gotten in close to Fox!
Lemmy: But misses the stab! DK has knocked him over!
Iggy: And Mario jumps down for a real battle.
Lemmy: I can’t keep track of the battle!
M72 L112 DK93 F126
Iggy: It looks like Miyamoto’s Heroes are winning. And Link’s knocked aside.
Lemmy: He throws a bomb into the group and BOOM! DK and Fox are blown away as Mario has a near-death experience.
M115NDD1 L134D1 DK0D1 F0D1
Iggy: Mario dances a little as Link waves to Malon. The crowd starts a chant.
Captain Falcon: GIMMIE AN L!
Crowd: L!
Captain Falcon: GIMMIE AN I!
Crowd: I!
Captain Falcon: GIMMIE AN N!
Crowd: N!
Captain Falcon: GIMMIE A K!
Crowd: K!
Captain Falcon: WHAT’S THAT SPELL?
Crowd: LINK!
Malon: HUNK!
Iggy: And here come the Furry Fighters.
Lemmy: But first, an item crate has fallen!
Iggy: Link smashes it open!
Lemmy: And it’s a hammer!
Iggy: DK and Fox are gonna get creamed!
Lemmy: And the mighty plumber wielding the magic hammer shall defeat the ape.
Iggy: Umm... wrong proverb. Link has the hammer. And the hairy ones are gone as soon as they come to the screen!
Lemmy: Here's the right one: (reads) When the Hero of Time wields the megaton hammer, he will crush all evil.
M115D0 L134D0 DK0D2 F0D2
Iggy: Whatever...Anyways, the Furry Fighters are back, and Link has lost his hammer.
Lemmy: And DK and Fox are attacking Miyamoto’s Heroes relentlessly, but Link and Mario manages to get a few shots off.
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Iggy: And Mario is thrown by Fox!
Lemmy: But he hits a capsule in the throw, breaking it open!
Iggy: He’s down, but Link grabs the Heart Container! The Hero of Time is healed!
M0D1 L0D0 DK41D2 F26D2
Lemmy: Link gets off a Spinning Sword attack!
Iggy: And you gotta thank Din for that one!
Lemmy: It's Farore!
Iggy: No, Din.
Lemmy: No, Farore gives the spinning sword attack!
Iggy: No, it’s DIN!
Lemmy: Whatever...Mario’s back! And it’s time for a full scale battle!
Iggy: A Mario Tornado throws DK into the air!
Lemmy: And the Hookshot sends Fox onto the moving platforms!
Iggy: Fox picks up a Bob-Omb! He throws it at Link!
Lemmy: Link dodges!
Iggy: And DK gets an earthquake attack off on Mario!
M32D2 L25 DK72D2 F61D2
Lemmy: And it’s almost over!
Iggy: It’s not over till the fat lady sings!
Lemmy: And Link picks up a Pokéball!
Iggy: Jigglypuff, I choose you.
Lemmy: Huh?
Iggy: Fat lady singing.
Lemmy: Oh. There's just one thing. She's banned from the Stadium until Valentine's Day.
Iggy: Oh.
Lemmy: Next time, read what happened in the past.
Iggy: Okay, okay...back to the match, Link throws it down!
Link: POKÉBALL, GO!
Lemmy: And it’s a Beedrill! He throws it down! Fox and DK are BOTH hit by the Beedrill swarm!
Iggy: And Link jumps and hits them with his sword!
Lemmy: And that did it! They’ve taken too much damage! The Beedrill kill Fox and DK!
This games winner is...The Green Team!!!
The better player of the team is...Link!!!
Post-Match:
The winners head towards Powers...before Malon jumps in.
Malon: (runs toward Link) You won! (kisses him)
Mario: Umm, I wouldn’t do that in public if I were you.
Link: Why not?
Mario: You’re only 17.
Malon: So?
Powers: (walks in) Oh. Link’s got a girlfriend. I think it's about time that you two get married now.
Link: Look, mister. I might have been kissed by girls before, but I'm staying a bachelor. Later, Powers. (swoops up Malon, jumps on Epona, and speeds away)
Mario: (shrugs and walks away)
VGW: (enters and heard what happened) I told you that this wasn't the Super Smooch Stadium.
Powers: SHUT UP!
VGW: Fine, be that way. (leaves)
(Meanwhile, in an open field...)
Ness, Jeff, and Paula are telling jokes together.
Ness: So the lawyer says, forget the sappina, my monkey doesn’t DRIVE a Lexus! (Paula and Jeff laugh)
Paula: Do you hear something? I sense something wrong.
Jeff: Umm, I don’t hear anything.
(The figure comes closer, and it is none other than the worlds most popular pokémon trainer, Ash Ketchum.)
Ash meets Ness.
Ash: Ness, I need your help.
Ness: You’re Ash...
Ash: Yes... Pikachu has asked me to help fight Kirby and Kirbetty with him, so that they wouldn't beat up Jigglypuff anymore. But I need to learn to fight!
Ness: And I’m the only ten-year-old in Super Smash Stadium?
Ash: (nods)
Ness: Paula, Jeff, we are gonna teach Ash some fighting tactics...
What did you think of the match? Will Mario & Link taste tag-team gold? Will Powers realize that he can't marry every staff member out there? Will both Ash & Luke Skywalker become fighters in the SSS, or will just one of them come (Han) Solo? And just who are Jeff and Paula anyway?!? Head here & cast your reaction.
Sprite Credits: