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LM: Hello folks!! It’s me Luigi Man!! Welcome to our first, and hopefully not last, match. And have we got a great match for you tonight!! Over to you, Killer Kirby.
KK: Thank you LM. Tonight’s match is between Mario and Kirby. I sure hope Kirby wins....
LM: I think we all knew that. Anyways, tonight’s match will be a Mario Party style match, 5 minutes long. This will truly be a great match. Don’t you think Killer Kirby?
KK: Yes, indeed! Especially if Kirby wins!
LM: Grr... Do you want to get thrown out of a window?
KK: I can float, remember?
LM: Dang! I can always throw you in match against ME!!
KK: Eep. I’ll keep quiet about that.
LM: That’s better! We should get this match on the road!!
KK: Ok, here goes....
Both: LET THE SMASHING COMMENCE!!!!!! (© LM and KK 2000)
LM: And Mario starts off with two combos!
KK: But Kirby bounces back with rock!
K16 M20 4:50
LM: My fruitcake brother does a head butt!
KK: But Kirby swallows Mario whole (Is that possible?) and borrows his power!
Both: Let’s throw in some stars! ::KK throws a capsule on the right moving platform, while LM throws a barrel on the top floor::
LM: And they both grab the stars inside while the lava comes up but goes down when their invincibility runs out.
K35ST1 M26ST1 4:10
LM: This match is fired up already!!
KK: These guys sure are stars!!
LM: Ok, enough with the corny jokes! Mario comes up (literally) with a Super Jump Punch and a tornado!! OUCH!!
KK: I thought you said enough with the corny jokes! Anyways, Kirby manages to pull off four fireballs on Mario.
K61ST1 M46ST1 3:55
KK: Kirby uses rock on Mario! And he goes flying!
LM: But he recovers, and delivers 35 unanswered to Kirby! This could be trouble!
KK: I’ll help you, Kirby! ::Tosses a crate towards Kirby::
Kirby: SWEET! ::throws it at Mario and it explodes::
LM: And Mario’s outta here!
K96D0ST1 M0D1ST1 3:30
LM: As soon as my dumb brother comes back...
Mario: I heard that!
LM: As I was saying, As soon as Mario comes back, ::throws in a capsule:: he grabs a capsule, throws it to the ground, gets the Star, and kicks Kirby’s butt outta town! Mario taunts.
K0D1ST1 M0D1ST1 3:23
KK: BBOOO!!!! Mario’s star has just run out, and at a bad time for him! The lava has just dealt 48 damage to him! Take that!
LM: Things are really starting to heat up here folks! And Mario’s on fire! Literally!
::KK throws in a crate::
KK: Take this Kirby! It should help!
LM: And Kirby breaks open the crate to find not one, not two, but three stars!
Mario: Eep...
KK: And Kirby snatches them all!
K0 ST4 M48 ST2 2:45
LM: Kirby has a HUGE advantage here! And he wastes Mario! Going...
KK: Going...
Both: GONE!!!
K0D1ST4 M0D2ST2 2:40
KK: Kirby’s stars have worn out!
LM: Time to give Mario a helping hand! ::throws a barrel towards Mario:: He picks it up, and throws it towards Kirby! IS HE INSANE??!!
KK: Apparently not! The barrel has exploded!! Kirby goes flying!! But he is not dead!
K30ST4ND M0ST2 2:25
LM: Mario is getting angry! He delivers 68 unanswered to Kirby!
KK: But Kirby fights back with a rock, rock, final cutter combo!
LM: Mario, who can’t take it anymore, does a smash punch to Kirby! He’s gone! Have a star, Mario! ::Throws a capsule in::
Mario: Thanks! ::Breaks it open and takes the star::
K0D2ST4 M42D2ST3 1:53
KK: This game is almost even! And not much time is left! The lava comes up again and burns Mario twice!
LM: Mario needs another star or KO, otherwise Kirby wins!
KK: YEAH!!!! I mean, I’ll keep quiet.
LM: Better. Mario needs more help! ::Throws in a crate::
KK: A CRATE??!! ARE YOU NUTS??!! HE’LL WIN!!
LM: Calm down. There’s only one star in there!
KK: Oh, and Mario breaks open the crate and steals TWO STARS???!!! LM, you said there was only one in there! YOU LIED!!!
LM: I did not! I just picked up the wrong crate, that’s all.
KK: At least there weren’t three in there.
LM: Forget it! We missed 45 seconds of the match!
K63ST4 M86ST5 1:08
KK: Kirby manages to steal Mario’s life from under his feet! But the lava comes up again, hitting Kirby and almost killing him too!
LM: It’s anybody’s game now! ::Throws down a crate::
KK: LM, how many stars are in there?
LM: That’s for me to know and for you to find out!
KK: Here, Kirby! ::Throws a star down::
LM: Kirby takes the star, while Mario breaks open the crate only to find that it is explosive!! Mario can’t make it back in time!
K79D2ST5 M0D3ST5 0:52
KK: We’re down to the final minute and things don’t look good for Mario.But wait! Mario comes down and knocks out Kirby!!
LM: Things are now all tied up! It’s anybody’s game!
KK: You said that already!
LM: Don’t start or we’ll miss the rest of the match! Mario taunts, but Kirby, eager to win, delivers 75 unanswered to Mario!!
KK: Catch, Kirby! ::Throws down a crate::
LM: Kirby breaks it open to find two stars! And he goes on a rampage and takes Mario out in the process!!
K0D3ST7 M0D5ST4 0:10
LM: It looks as if Kirby’s gonna win!!
KK: And he does!! This match is over!!
| Player | KO's | TKO's | Stars | Total Points | Place |
| Mario | Three | Four | Five | Four | 2nd |
| Kirby | Three | Three | Seven | Seven | 1st |
This game’s winner is........ KIRBY!!!!
Post-match:
Mash: So Kirby, how do you feel?
Kirby: I FEEL GREAT, I BEAT THAT STUPID PLUMBER!!
Mash: Woah! Kirby’s overjoyed, let’s go see Mario now.
Mash: Mario, what are your thoughts?
Mario: GO AWAY!!! LEAVE ME BE!!!!
Mash: Sheesh!
LM: Shall I do the questions? Or shall we both do them?
KK: Both!!
LM: Okay, here they are:
LM: Normally we would sign off, but here’s something slightly different.
Both: LONG LIVE KILLER Kirby & LUIGI MAN!!!
LM: This is THE TRUE Luigi Man...
KK: And THE REAL Killer Kirby...
Both: Saying goodnight to all you SSS fans out there!! May there be many more!