Match #54

and

Chapter 10: All you need is love

Wendy: Welcome! Welcome! Today is the match you’ve all been waiting for!

Eric Marrs: Waiting too long, if you ask me...

Wendy: Well we didn’t ask you, so there.

Kazooie: Today there will be an all-out battle between every SP!

KK64: That is, VG, Lemmy, Pat, Iggy, Lugia, Goshi, Tomintul, Luigi Man, and Killer Kirby.

Game Guru: Not only that, but us fans get to commentate.

Eric: Us fans and Wendy. Lemmy didn’t want a group of novices commentating an important match, so he had his sister commentate with us.

Wendy: Either way, I’m commentating and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Kazooie: Just start the intro!

Wendy: Ladies and Koopas...

Eric: Boys and Girls...

Kazooie: Breegulls of all ages!

KK64: Super Smash Stadium...

Game Guru: PROUDLY brings to you...

Wendy: The princess brat, Wendy Koopa!

Kazooie: The witch-stomping Kazooie!

Game Guru: The Zealian Wise Man, Game Guru!

Ozzie: You mean Gaspar...

Game Guru: What are you doing here?

Ozzie: Uhh... Ozzie’s in a pickle! (Runs away)

KK64: The knightly Kong, Kiddy Kong Sixty-Four!

Eric: The... the... really great guy, Eric Marrs!

Mario: The super plumber, Mario Mario!

Link: The hero of Hyrule, Link!

KK64: What are you doing here?

DK: We want commentate!

Kazooie: WE’RE commentating this match!

Ness: Not if WE have anything to say about it.

Wendy: You DON’T!

Samus: Oh yeah? (Blasts Wendy with her charge shot)

Wendy: (Is burnt)

Captain Falcon: Now, if you don’t mind...

Blue Yoshi: Us fighters will be doing the commentary for this match.

Game Guru: We DO mind! Now get out of here and let us do this match!

Pikachu: Chu pika pika chu pikachu?

Eric: Translation, por favor.

Ash: He said, "How about you leave the booth?"

Kazooie: We’re not going anywhere!

Killer: Well neither are we!

Eric Marrs: Fine!

Fox: Fine!

KK64: Fine!

Jigglypuff: "Fine!"

Wendy: Fine!

Luigi: Fine!

Game Guru: Fine!

Megaman: Fine!

Kazooie: Fine!

Yoshelly: Fine!

Eric: We ran out of people to say fine...

Yellow Yoshi: Fine!

Kazooie: Can we JUST get this match underway?

Wario: Fine!

Wendy: First, we’ll introduce the moves of the fighters AKA SPs.

Eric: We’ll say each move and a bit of commentary. First, VGW Man’s moves will be told. Remember, he’s on a slight vacation from his journey.

VGW's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Quick attack/Teleport KK64     Nice move for the most part. The only real problem with it is that it doesn’t do any damage. It’s still probably the best jump you can get, though.
Charge Shot Wendy   &nsbp; An excellent move. Samus is probably my favorite fighter in the SSS. Of course, it seems remarkable similar to my linking rings attack...
Absorption Shield Mario It’s a good a-defensive maneuver, but a-like Quick Attack, it doesn’t a-do any a-damage.


Link: Now for Lemmy’s attacks.

Lemmy's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Magic Ball >Kazooie     How did Lemmy learn to use magic? He’s a Koopa! However he learned it, this move works like PK Thunder and can save him in a pinch.
Ball Toss Link     This attack involves him bouncing a ball toward opponents. It’s a good, quick attack to get off usually, and it works pretty similarly to Mario’s Fireball technique in the way it bounces.
Mirror Shell Fox     This kid just wants to be me, but who can blame him? It’s a great defensive technique, and when his shell turns into a mirror, it releases a jolt of electricity to take out those in close quarters.


Game Guru: And here’s Pat’s set of moves for this battle. Though he’s the youngest SP, he packs a punch!

Pat's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Blur Speed C. Falcon     Woah! This kid’s faster than me! This two-part jump lets him move so fast, he can’t even be seen until he lands! I feel the need, the need for speed!
Keechee-Yun-Elboo DK     Talk about a punch! This move is strong! It’s like Chunky’s Primate Punch or C. Falcon’s Falcon Punch! Who would’ve thought the little bugger had it in him?
Keeche-Yun-eeboo Yellow Yoshi This kid has feet like a yoshi! It’s a strong slide kick to send opponents off their feet!


Wendy: Next up is my geek brother, Iggy!

Iggy's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Thief Punch Killer      Back to his old thieving ways, Iggy bounces himself up and snatches some cash out of his opponent’s pockets, too!
Wand Shot Sonic     With a flick of his wand, Iggy sends a bubble or two hurling at his opponents! Of course, it goes at such slow speeds that it hardly seems worth the effort.
Bomber Eric Marrs     Iggy loves bombs. Simple as that. The essence of this move is that just like Link, he reaches into his shell and pulls out a big bomb to throw at his opponents.


Ness: And Lugia, commented on by the pokemon team.

Lugia's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Fly Ash     Like any bird pokemon, Lugia can fly. Of course, they had to restrict him a bit for this battle, but he can still go up a bit into the air.
Wing attack Pikachu
Translation:


    With a quick flick of his wing, he gets his opponent with a mediocre amount of damage.
Hyper Beam Jigglypuff
Translation:


    It’s the attack all pokemon dread, Hyper Beam! This attack is so powerful, that it will deal about 30 percent damage, or take anyone out with over 30 percent damage! Fortunately, it takes him some time to recharge after the move, during which he can’t move a muscle.


Killer: And everyone’s second favorite yoshi (me being everyone’s favorite) Goshi!

Goshi's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Wind Cutter Blue Yoshi    : Wind CUTTER? Glad they don’t call this thing wind BREAKER. Anyway, Goshi uses the power of wind in addition to his sword in order to send a powerful gust at his opponents when he lands.
Kamehameha Red Yoshi     We thought the funny move names ended with Pat; I guess we were wrong. This is a powerful beam that he fires at his opponents, almost as powerful as Lugia’s hyper beam. The catch? It has to be charged up.
Hip Drop Yoshelly     Goshi stays true to his yoshi nature and does the Yoshi Hip Drop attack! Good for him.


Daffy Duck: And now, Tomintul’th move litht.

Tomintul's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Hyper Blast KK64     Second in command of the knights, Tomintul has some of the best attacks with his sword. This one involves some weird reaction when his sword touches his feet. They go boom. And when it blasts, the explosion sends him up. Personally, I like it!
Hyper Ball Wendy     KK64, you forgot to mention that he’s dreamy. Uhh... I mean strong. Yeah... Strong. Anyway, this is a nice attack where he throws a ball at his opponents. It hovers in the air and it goes pretty fast.
Hyper Swing Link   :  What the? Isn’t this supposed to be a jumping move? He swings his sword around pretty fast, but unlike the swing of yours truly, this one doesn’t give Tomintul any air.


Luigi: And my a-personal favorite Super a-power, Luigi a-man!

Luigi Man's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Fire Uppercut Mario     What an a-idiot! What a-kind of fool wants to a-be Luigi! In a-fact, this a-uppercut is just a copy of a-mine with a a-flame added to it!
Tool Time Ness     Does everybody know what time it is? Tool Time! This attack seems a bit too risky to me. He pulls out and throws a random tool or two, a wrench, plunger, or hammer, at his enemy. The three tools do varying amounts of damage.
Luigi Man Tornado Waluigi     Basically, it’s a-my tornado. But a-why is he Luigi Man? Why isn’t a-he Waluigi Man?


Sonic: And finally, Killer Kirby!

Killer Kirby's moves
Move name Commentary by Comments
Killer Kirby Kutter Daffy     It’th jutht like Kirby’th "Final Cutter" attack, but a bit thtronger. And I love the alliteration.
Killer Kirby Kopy Game Guru     More alliteration, I see. This is just like Kirby’s Copy attack, except there’s a bit of a twist. Killer Kirby can learn two [and maybe more] moves at once and combine them into a stronger attack.
Killer Kirby Krush Wendy     Ever MORE alliteration. This is really annoying. DOWN WITH ALLITERATION! Well, this is just like Kirby’s Rock Bottom attack. He’ll lay the smack down on you! What? Wrong Rock? Sorry...


KK64: Well, those are the moves...

Eric: What a mouthful...

Mario: The a-terms for today’s a-match are...

Link: One life per fighter, so there are no second chances...

DK: And items at whatever rate we want.

Samus: The arena for today is starting at the new Mushroom Kingdom, but that may change.

Wendy: Let’s just get into the match... Kazooie: On your lead, Wendy. You’re the only one of us who’s done this before.

Game Guru: (Takes a deep breath)

Wendy: And now, for the thousands in attendance...

Eric: Thousands? That many people are here?

Wendy: And the millions watching worldwide...

Kazooie: Millions? (Swallows nervously)

Wendy: LET’S GET READY TO SMASH IT!


KK64:
The fighters waste no time in getting the battle underway!

Mario: The Super a-powers are all battling!


Tomintul: GANG UP ON THE STRONGEST!

Lemmy: Yeah! Gang up on the strongest!

VGW: Okay, we gang up on the... wait a second. I’M the strongest!


Eric: The other superpowers close in on VGW!

Kazooie: They’re all about to attack!

Link: Should VGW be saving Zelda right about now?


Tomintul: Sorry, VGW, but if you don’t defeat you, we can’t win. HYPER BALL!


Wendy:
Tommy throws a hyper ball at VGW!

Blue Yoshi: He’s reeling!


Goshi: Tom’s got a point. WIND CUTTER!


Killer:
Goshi jumps up with a wind cutter!

Game Guru: And the gust hits VGW!


KK: KILLER KIRBY KUTTER!


Kirby:
KK has the same idea and knocks down VGW again!


LM: Does a-everyone know what a-time it is?


Luigi: Luigi a-Man uses his tool a-time attack on a-VGW! He a-throws a hammer!

Yoshi: VGW’s knocked down by the blow!

Ness: Lemmy and Iggy are on alternate sides of VGW!

Ash: They’re blasting him back and forth!


Lemmy: We call this...

Iggy: The brotherly hate attack!

VGW: This isn’t fair!


Pikachu: Pikachu chu ka pi pikachu! (Lugia opens an odd portal!)

Jigglypuff: Puff Jiggly puff jig puff! (And Patrick jumps toward Veege!)


Patrick: Now get back there and defeat the bad guy!


Kazooie: Patrick pulls out a trout, he’s going for his smash attack!

Megaman: VGW Man is still a bit out of it from the previous attacks!

KK64: Pat swings his fish with all his might! Veege is sent flying into the air!

Ozzie: And straight into the gate!

Game Guru: What are YOU doing here again?

Ozzie: Ozzie’s in a jam! (Runs away)

Wendy: Is that considered a fall? Judges?

Judges: (Nod)

Wendy: Yes! Veege is out of the battle in less than a minute!


Eric: The Superpowers once again start to fight!

Mario: There are a-no clear sides a-here!

Wendy: Oh, yes there are! Lemmy, Tommy, Iggy, Pat, and Goshi are teaming up! They’re on one side of the pit as LM, KK, and Lugia are on the other.

Killer: Of course they are; the knights have a high sense of teamwork.

Kazooie: The knights jump toward the other three!

Luigi: Luigi Man a-throws a hammer at a-Tomintul!

Ash: And Lugia lets loose a HYPER BEAM!

Game Guru: Tomintul goes flying into the abyss!

Yoshelly: Lugia is dazed!

Wendy: That’s two fighters out of the battle, and that was fast!


KK64: The remaining knights glare at Lugia!


Patrick: Rule number one: Never hurt a knight!

Lemmy: Rule number two: Never KO a knight!

Iggy: Rule number three: Never Hyper Beam a knight!

Goshi: And rule number four: Penalty for hurting a knight is a severe butt kicking!


Kirbetty: The knights are all charging at Lugia, who can’t move a muscle!

Yoshi: They plow through LM and KK like they aren’t even there, knocking them aside!

Kazooie: And the first item appears in the arena!


Lemmy: Goshi, grab that!


Eric: Lemmy orders Goshi to get the item, while he starts bashing at Lugia.

Ash: The item’s a pokeball! Goshi throws it down!


Houdini: Abra...


Killer: That’s Lemmy’s Abra "Houdini!"

Fox:f And he just pulled a vanishing act! Where are the fighters?

KK64: Lakitu’s getting the picture back! They’ve been found at Winter Wonderland!

Link: Iggy hits Lugia with his Wand Bash smash attack!

Kirby: And Lugia’s gone flying!

Ash: He’s a bird; he’s supposed to fly--

Sonic: Not in this way! He’s outta there!


Wendy: The remaining Superpowers are the twins, Pat, LM, KK, and Goshi!

Killer: KK, Goshi, and Iggy have jumped to the top of the arena and aren’t fighting!

Eric: LM and Lemmy face off!

Kazooie: And some items appear to add in some variety!

Link: It’s a beam sword and a ray gun!

Mario: Lemmy a-grabs the beam sword, and Linguini a-man grabs the a-gun!

Game Guru: LM fires at Lemmy, but the blade blocks the shots!

Waluigi: Luigi a-Man keeps firing, but a-Lemmy keeps a-blocking!

KK64: LM is out of shots, and Lemmy runs in toward him!

Blue Yoshi: But LM kicks him away!

Fox: (Whispered) Hey, DK... Want to see a cool trick?

DK: (Nods)

Yellow Yoshi: Lemmy runs back toward LM!

Wendy: This time, he dives at LM with the blade pointed out!

Kazooie: He hits a bob-omb under LM’s feet!

Ness: The blast sends both Superpowers into the great beyond!

Captain Falcon: Meanwhile, Iggy throws down a Mystery Disk!

Samus: And Goshi, KK, and Iggy are all that remain!

Eric: And they’re Teleported away by a blue Suezo!

Killer: Actually, that’s a Horn/Suezo/Tiger, just for the record.


Game Guru:
We’ve lost the picture again!

Ash: Don’t worry! Lakitu found them in Saffron City!

Pikachu: Chu pika PIKACHU! (Let’s throw POKEBALLS!)

Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff... PUFF! (Pokeball... GO!)

KK64: Four pokeballs fall into the arena!

Kazooie: Each of the Superpowers picks one up!

Goshi: Pokeball! GO!

Iggy: Pokebaaaaall…. GO!

KK: Go, pokeball!

Pat: Pokeball, go!

Lugia: It’s called REVENGE! HYPER BEAM!

Wendy: Lugia pops out of Killer Kirby’s pokeball and hyper beams at Iggy.

Luigi: But the Koopa a-jumps away!

Ash: And PAT is knocked away by the blast instead!

KK64: Pinser, Graveler, and Electrode come out of the other three pokeballs!

Game Guru: Patrick’s Pinsir grabs KK in midair!

Eric: Goshi’s Graveler tackles down Iggy!

Kirbetty: And Iggy’s Electrode blows up harmlessly!

Game Guru: Goshi starts charging up his Kamehameha!

Ness: He fires at the restrained KK and charges up again!

Mario: Iggy a-pulls out a bomb!

Samus: And he throws it at Goshi, who loses his charge!

DK: Killer Kirby is released now! He inhales Goshi and absorbs the Kamehameha!

Wendy: And at the same time he sucks in Iggy and steals the Wand Shot!


Killer Kirby:
Now I’VE got your powers!

Megaman: Hey! That’s MY line!

Killer Kirby: Uhh... Now I’ve got your powers! © Megaman

Megaman: That’s better.


Link:
Iggy blasts Goshi with his wand, and KK looks like he’s charging on the left!

Kazooie: Goshi’s knocked into the pokemon door!

KK64: He’s dazed and confused! He doesn’t even notice the Electrode!

Game Guru: But Iggy does! He ducks and covers!

Wendy: Goshi is blasted away! Only Iggy and KK remain!


Eric:
Iggy looks down at KK from above!

Kirby: Let’s see what new move KK made from Wand Shot and Kamehameha!


Killer Kirby: KAMEHAME-WANDA!


Red Yoshi:
A huge wand blast shoots out of Killer Kirby’s wand and fires at Iggy!

Wendy: This looks like the end!

Kazooie: But Iggy catches the edge of the building to our right!

Daffy: He pickth up a Digiegg and throwth it at Killer Kirby!

Eric: A Flamedramon pops out!

Killer: It uses Fire Rocket to knock Killer Kirby down!

KK64: Iggy jumps toward Killer Kirby!

Ash: The two fight right next to the pokemon door!

Game Guru: And...Lugia pops out?!?


Lugia: I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO LOSE! PSYCHIC!


Luigi:
Lugia refuses to a-lose! He a-blasts KK and Iggy with a-Psychic!

Eric: They’re BOTH down!

Wendy: Who won the game? Judges?

Judge: The Patriots.

Wendy: What?

Judge: The Patriots won the game. They beat the Colts!

Wendy: I’m talking about this match!

Judge: Uhh... we don’t know...




Narrator: While the judges & commentators argue about who won the SP match, the portal Lugia created actually sent VGW back to the town of Wijesh, where Yum Key Poorage has Dyria and Jupiter hostage.

    "Man...I'm glad I'm back in Dorka Cref. But I wonder where Dyria went to. Dyria?" There was no response. "Dyria? Jupiter? Hello?!?!?" No one answered. "Hmmm.....I better call Zero."

    VGW pulled out his little radio that he kept with him during his Battle Royal (he kept all of his inventory) and started to radio Zero Omega. Zero came to Wijesh in a flash.

    "What's the trouble, VG?" Zero asked.

    "Dyria and Jupiter are either missing, caught, or have chosen to go without me. Do you know what happened to them?"

    "The two are caught by Yum Key Poorage somewhere near here.

    "You mean exactly here!" A figure crept out of the shadows. The figure was Yum Key Poorage, the "owner" of the Crest of Love Belt Buckle Piece.

    "What have you done with my friends?" VGW asked.

    "They are all right...just hungry and captured as most captives around my territory. And you two will be the next two I turn in to Ganna!"

    However, an earthquake was felt. Yum Key Poorage felt some major damage, but Zero and VGW didn't get hurt at all. The only one who could control an earthquake to damage only certain people is---

    "Dyria?!?" Zero, Yum, and VGW were all dumbfounded.

    But they were right; Dyria ran to VGW and gave him a big hug, obviously very anxious to see him. "Oh VGW, I'm sorry I sent you out of Dorka Cref. It's just that when I heard you--"

    "You don't have to say any more," VG told her. Though Dyria was crying, she was starting to feel better. "Now are you ready to take Yum Key Poorage out of the picture?"

    "Yes," Dyria answered. "Let's do it!"

    All four good guys (the trio and Zero) fought Yum Key Poorage, and the bad guy was losing quickly. VGW then threw his Heat Axe at him to permamently burn him. That was the fatal blow.

    "You will pay for this, Jew!" Yum was giving his last words. "All of the Jews have died because of Zealot! And you will die as well soon enough! You hear me?!? You...will...die...Jew........" Silence fills the air as Yum Key Poorage has faded away, and all that's left is the belt buckle piece he took from Zealot.

    Zero was the first to speak up. "Well, you sure can give a good ole' butt whoopin', VGW. Congratulations."

    At that moment, Dyria and Jupiter were hugging VGW like crazy, for they were very happy that VGW--the Jew--has defeated Yum Key Poorage.

    "Oh thank you, VGW," Dyria started to speak. "From now on I will treat all Jews with respect, for they really can be nice...and kind of cute too."

    "What a coicidence," Zero said. "According to the belt buckle piece old Yummy left us, it has the Crest of Love. It seems that you two are in love with each other*."

    "Well...I, uh...I, uh, well--I love Dyria as a friend."

    "I love you too," Dyria said as she gave a stronger hug than before.

    Just then, all of the people of Wijesh came and congradulated the heroes. All of the food has returned, and VGW finally got to experience a banquet in his honor. Afterwards, the trio left.

    "You're not leaving without me!"

    It was Zero. "I want to personally make sure that Ganna is destroyed, and that you treat Dyria and Jupiter with respect. You understand me?"

    "Yes, Zero. Everything will be fine. The only thing I don't know is where to go."

    "I do," Dyria spoke. "While I was caught, Ganna said her next target in case Yum Key Poorage did fail was the town of Kravemic (CRAVE mick), the robotic industrial city. That is a very important place that we have to go to, so let's go."

    "Now I am going to join you. I have...er, "personal reasons" of going to Kravemic. Let's go!"

    And so our 4 heroes journey to Kravemic. With only two more belt buckle pieces to go, will VGW slay Ganna and rescue Zelda?

    First, some questions about the current events:

  1. Why does Zero want to go to Kravemic so much?
  2. What new trick will Ganna have up her sleeve?
  3. Will VGW and Dyria go out?

Back to the Stadium:

Judge: We have made our descision.

*Editor's Note: The Super Smash Stadium does not condone or support pedophilia in any way.