Match #60

The Question: Which fighter/SP/staff member will become fired from the SSS?

Fighters for the Yo'ster Garden
Mario Luigi Wario Waluigi Kyle Orland Luigi Man Patrick V
Player 1 Player 2 Player 3 Player 4 Player 5 Player 6 Player 7

The Background:

Dark Horse: Hello, and welcome to another edition of the Stadium!

Super Shy Guy: For this fight, seven plumbers and plumber wanna-bes get in, but one gets out...for good!

Goombario: I don't want Mario to lose!

Dark Horse: Hey, aren't you the good goomba that helped Mario in Paper Mario?

Goombario: That's right, Dark Horse. After helping Mario save Peach [again], SSG here invited me to help you commentate.

Dark Horse: Well, the more help I get, the better the match will be.

SSG: All seven fighters have brought all of their known moves with them, and maybe a hidden one or two.

Goombario: Mario sure surprised everyone with his new "Serves Up!" move. He could have used it on his adventure with me!

SSG: In any case, all of the fighters have brought whatever moves they have mastered.

Dark Horse: This might be their only chance to try some of them, for that matter. Whoever loses this fight first will be fired from the Stadium.

Goombario: Then why is Waluigi in this?

Dark Horse: I don't know; Tai told me to put him in.

SSG: Speaking of which, when is he due back?

Dark Horse: Sometime after this match, I believe.

Goombario: Anyway, we have some of the rules for this match. As Dark Horse pointed out, first one who loses is fired.

SSG: The match will be officially over by the time someone loses first.

Dark Horse: But if the others want to see who the best Mario lookalike character is, then we'll let them go right ahead.

Goombario: We got a bunch of items that we will toss! I never saw this many here before!

SSG: This is the Super Smash Stadium, Goombario; much more than the "outdated" SSB game.

Dark Horse: I see the fighters getting ready for their fight. And here they come!

SSG: It's time for intros!

Goombario: Allow me! Ahem...ladies and gentle-goombas...

SSG: ...brothers and shy guy sisters of all ages...

Dark Horse: ...the Super Smash Stadium proudly presents...

Goombario: The Wise Guy, Goombario!

SSG: The Whose Line Expert, SSG!

Dark Horse: The Undertaker of SSS, Dark Horse!

All: The SSS Commentators!

SSG: For the thousands in attendance...

Goombario: And the millions watching around the world...ladies and gentlemen...


SSG: LM wastes no time at all on his "inferior" brother Luigi.

Goombario: Mario is trying to play it safe by using the Serves Up! move away from everyone else!

Dark Horse: But out of the blue, Kyle uses some of the Drop Bombs on Mario, sending him into the Nipper Plants.

Goombario: That's got to leave a mark!

SSG: I got an item ready; here it comes. (tosses the crate on one of the platforms, but falls into the Nipper field)

Goombario: I could throw better than you, and I have no arms!

Dark Horse: It doesn't matter; the Nippers destroy the crate and send the Bob-omb inside of it upwards onto the platform.

SSG: Kyle is going for the Bob-omb, and Mario too. But Pat, while having his eye on the bomb, isn't moving towards it...

Dark Horse: Pat winds up...the pitch! It's the Killerang, and it hits home!

Goombario: Both fighters were quickly knocked out...but who was first?!?

SSG: I got the slow-mo replay going right now... (replay plays; Kyle was sent out 1 tenth of a second before Mario)

Dark Horse: Fighters, do you wish to continue?

LM: Let me go against Luigi!

Luigi: Let me go against LM!

Wario: I've-a had enough!

Waluigi: I'm with Wario!

Pat: I'd rather be a stock-broker! (those three left, "tying" for 3rd place)

Goombario: (tosses two Heart Containers) You have 10 seconds to get ready.

SSG: An old revenge bout is about to take place! These two have faced each other in the Tag Team Tourney, but haven't met eye to eye afterwards!

Dark Horse: Maybe after this fight. BEGIN!

Goombario: LM starts off by throwing a random assortment of tools at his opponent.

SSG: But Luigi blocks them and grabs the wrench for himself!

Dark Horse: He gets to LM and starts hurting away!

Goombario: One miss later, though, allows LM to escape and do some heavy damage to themselves.

SSG: Someone put only Bob-ombs in this Item Retrieval system. Oh well, here's one now! (tosses it by LM)

Dark Horse: Both fighters are above 70%, so this could end up either way.

SSG: LM gets the Bob-omb and throws it to Luigi!

Luigi: I'm not losing today! FOUR!!!!! (gets his golf club and does a perfect swing on the Bob-omb)

Dark Horse: And there is Luigi's new move: FOUR! It has a one to five chance of sending back items to their owners, and this one is going back.

Goombario: And it can do decent damage.

SSG: LM couldn't move fast enough do dodge the Bob-omb!

Dark Hores: Hole in one! Luigi "Tiger Woods" Mario has won this fight!

This games winner is...LUIGI!!!

This games LOSER is...Kyle Orland.


Kyle: If you think I'm upset of what happened, I'm not. I haven't been too much a part of the Stadium. I still have the main site to take care of.

Dark Horse: Don't forget to come back and visit.

Kyle: Don't worry about that. If I'm needed, give me a call. Later now! (he leaves)

SSG: Well, I have to bring Goombario over to his house.

Dark Horse: Why would you have to do that?

Goombario: He lost a bet we made beforehand. I told him that Kyle would most likely be fired, but he didn't believe me. He thought that Waluigi would be sent out. Funny, I don't think he even is a fighter...

Dark Horse: I'll try to find that out tonight.

Goombario: See to that. OK SSG, take me home.

SSG: All right...(aside: Never bet against a Wise Alek Goomba ever again)

Goombario: I heard that! (both leave)

Dark Horse: Well, time for this match's---

(an alarm sounds)

ROMba: (enters) What was that?

PA: All SP's report to the president's office NOW!!!

Dark Horse: I'm guessing Tai is back, and he's not in a good mood...I guess my questions will have to wait.

(At Tai's office; Dark Horse morphed to VGWarrior along the way, as did the Koopalings)

Tai: I was enjoying my little vacation, but something told me to come back. And I was right! We have a very BIG problem!! One of the fighters was someone from the SSS!!!

All SP's: WHAT?!?!

Tai: That's right. At some point after he got knocked out, Mario was attacked by an unidentified person!!

Tom: But who was it?


Lugia: You always blame me.

Pat: Meh.

VGWarrior: It might have been Dr. Wily; he's still alive.

Lemmy: Maybe it was Elvis Presley.

Iggy: He's dead.

LM: How about--


(they all stay still)

Tai: Let's bring in Mario!!!

(Mario enters on a wheelchair)

Mario: I was-a-upset that I-a lost, so I-a chose to order some-a pizza. However, while I-a was ordering, I was attacked from-a-behind by a caped-a-figure!!

VGWarrior: A caped figure??!! couldn't have been--

Dark Force: (appears out of nowhere) 'Twas not me, who did this.

Tai: (grins) I don't exactly trust you...judging by your name....

Dark Force: Mine name hast nothing to do with this...

VGWarrior: Besides... he DID help me beat Ganna...

Tai: To take out his rival and have the SSS for himself, right Dark Force?

Dark Force: Nay...

Tai: Then why did you help us?

Dark Force: To prevent Ganna from taking over... and to rescue Zelda...

Tai: What does Zelda have to do with this? You want her Triforce!! Am I right or not?!?!

Dark Force: Hmph... thou'rt very hard-headed.... (he teleports out of there)

Tai: As for you SPs, you are dismissed. Try to figure out why anyone would go after Mario.

(they leave Tai's office; VGWarrior goes his separate way)

VGWarrior: I guess I'll have to slightly modify the questions....

  1. Did Kyle deserve to be fired?
  2. Should the other fighters have continued the fight?
  3. Which pizza was Mario going to order?
  4. Was it family size?
  5. Is Tai right about Dark Force??