Match #70

The Question: Who's the best guy in a robot suit?

The Fighters for the New Mushroom Kingdom

Player 1	Player 2	Player 3

Knight9910: Hello people and welcome back to the Super Smash Stadium. The date is February 18, 2004. Well after the original airing of match 67. As you may know the original tape of match 67 was lost during one of VGF's many, many server crashes. Don't worry, the guilty parties are currently tied and gagged and being slowly lowered into a pit of rabid snails. But fortunately for us we happen to have a time controller here at the Stadium who can teleport us back to those wonderful days when I was just another lovable, power-hungry admin who used his authority to enforce his will upon others. So Blinx, if you would?

Blinx: Right. I should warn you though that contacting the past will cause a temporary disturbance in the time/space continuum slightly altering the events of the match.

9910: Right. And now that we've got our half-arse excuse for this version being almost completely different then the original, let's go!

Blinx: Okay! Timeshift in 3...2...1...

FLASH!

Stephen Hawking: Don't play with the timestream I told them. Meddling in that which you do not understand will only bring about great harm I told them. But do they ever listen?

(Meanwhile, in the past.)

9910: Hello and welcome to an all new SSS match! As you doubtlessly already know I have two very special guest commentators here with me tonight! First off is Sailor Mercury, Ami.

Ami: Hi!

Terri Tsukino: And the second is...not me. No, I have my date with Billy to go on so I won't be here. Filling in for me will be Crono.

Crono: ...

9910: Alright. Have fun on your date, Ter.

Ami: Yep, good luck!

Crono: ...

Terri: Thanks guys. See ya! Terri leaves.

9910: And now let's go to Navi in the stands. How's it going out there, Navi?

Navi: The fans sure seem to be excited. This is sure to be one heck of a matchup. How are you, sir?

Boshi: I'd be a lot better if you'd come over here and sit on daddy's lap.

Navi: Navi closes her eyes. No, Navi. Calm down. Calm. Remember what you therapist said.

Boshi: Hey, all I'm saying is I could give you a little bit of therapy if you know what I mean.

Navi: Grrr...that's it! Navi pulls out a short sword. Back to you, Knight.

9910: I'm telling you she is so hot.

Crono: ...

Ami: Knight, we're back.

9910: Oh, we are? Well, uh...back to you Navi! I'm telling you, Crono, Navi is--

Navi: What? I'm back on again? Was Knight making lewd comments about me again? Oh well. The match is about to get started so back to you, Knight.

9910: We're back again? Oh well I suppose we should tell you exactly what's going down this time.

Ami: Right. This match will finally answer the question of who is the best SSS fighter in a robotic armor suit: Zero, Megaman, or Samus.

9910: And to make things fair Zero has agreed to temporarily give up much of his power for this fight, including the ability to morph into Zeratul.

Ami: Right. We've given him a new set of moves taken from his games. These are the moves he'll be using.

9910: Alright then I think that about sums it up so without further adieu...

9910: Ladies, gentlemen, and children ages 6 and up...

Ami: The Super Smash Stadium is mildly thrilled to bring to you...

Ami: SAILOR MERCURY!

9910: KNIGHT 9910!

Crono: ...!

Ami and 9910: THE SSS COMMENTATORS!

Ami and 9910: LET'S GET IT ON! (© some person, some date)

9910: Zero beams in.

Ami: Samus comes out of a teleporter.

9910: And Megaman flies in on Rush.

Ami: They're wasting no time getting to fighting. Zero dashes in and starts a combo against Samus!

9910: He slashes three times, kicks her, and does an upwards smash sending her into the air.

Ami: He readies his sword for what looks to be a SaberPlus attack.

9910: The strategy he appears to be using is to eliminate his opponents as quickly as possible. Usually a winning strategy but here we see the main drawback, that a fresh opponent can easily recover from an attack. Samus recovers in mid-air and fires an uncharged blast straight down onto the maverick hunter, he lets the slash loose but too late, the shot hits him.

Ami: Zero is stunned and Megaman takes the opportunity to fire the blast he had been charging up. Zero is thrown back into the water. He lands on a platform and triple jumps up to the ledge and he goes through the Warp Pipe, ending up in the clouds.

9910: Meanwhile Samus and Megaman are attacking each other. Mega ducks an uncharged shot and retaliates with the Knight Chain to Samus' gut, sending her clear across the arena but not out!

Ami: Zero goes through the warp pipe. Mega holds his arms above his head and begins charging a Pharoah Shot. Samus recovers and fires off a Super Missile right as Mega unleashes his Pharoah Shot.

9910: Talk about bad luck! Zero comes through the warp pipe just in time to get blasted by both attacks! That's gotta hurt.

Ami: And Zero falls in a crumpled heap down into the water and out.

Z:0D1, S:45, M:36

9910: The platforms return Zero to the arena and he does not appear to be happy. He's going after Megaman now, furiously slashing away.

Ami: He uses the Ryuenjin, slashing Mega into the air and once in the air he pulls off a truly amazing mid-air combo, flipping over Mega and kicking him into fully charged blast from Samus. Megaman is knocked into the water but he's not out!

9910: Mega triple jumps to the warp pipe platform and goes through the pipe as Zero blocks another charged shot from Samus with his SaberPlus.

Ami: Megaman appears from the warp pipe behind Zero and catches him with a Ballade Cracker to the back of the head. That cheap shot has him reeling.

9910: Zero is clearly very skilled but I think perhaps he has weakened himself TOO much in an attempt to be fair. I'm tossing out an item. 9910 tosses out a pill.

Crono: ...

All three commentators laugh.

9910: Heh. That was a good one, Crono!

Ami: He he. It sure was. Anyway, the pill lands near Zero and he smashes it open. It's a star!

9910: Zero grabs the star and lets loose on his two helpless opponents. He goes after Megaman first, putting him away easily.

Ami: And then he goes after Samus and she's out.

Z:15D1, S:0D1, M:0D1

9910: The platforms bring back Samus and Megaman. Zero catches his breath and the other two just wait. Once their invincibility has worn off Megaman and Samus begin ganging up on Zero. They've been working against him this whole fight, Ami.

Ami: Yes, they have. Zero blocks a homing missile from Samus and returns with a quick slash.

9910: Megaman drops a Mega Ball on the ground and kicks it. Zero sees it coming and jumps out of the way as the ball bops Samus in the chin, stunning her just long enough for Zero to jump over behind her and slash her in the back with a SaberPlus.

Ami: Megaman and Samus are really mad now. Samus connects with a screwball.

Megaman: Duck and cover, Samus!

9910: What's this? Megaman calls Rush in! Samus ducks under the left platform and Megaman ducks under the right one. Zero is left out in the open and gets blasted when Rush carpet bombs the arena.

Ami: Zero is blasted into the air and he lands on the moving platforms. He jumps off and hits the POW block, knocking his opponents onto their butts before somersaulting onto stable ground.

9910: He dashes past Megaman and hits him with a spinning back kick as he passes, sending him several feet towards the other end of the arena.

Ami: Samus hits Zero with a bomb as he rushes in for the kill. She lands behind him and blasts him in the back. Zero stumbles from the shock but quickly recovers. Somehow a free for all has turned into a two versus one match!

Zero: Zero raises his hand in the air and it pulses with energy. Get ready!

BOOM!

9910: Zero smashes the ground with his Giga Move, blasting both of his opponents out!

Z:130D1, S:0D2, M:0D2

Ami: The platforms bring the two back and they immediately begin whaling on poor Zero.

9910: Megaman calls in Rush once again.

Megaman: Rush, Super Adaptor mode!

Ami: Megaman and Rush merge into the Super Adaptor. This could be it for Zero!

9910: Zero is distracted by the Super Adaptor and Samus takes the opportunity to hit him with a flamethrower.

Ami: While Zero's still hurting from the flamethrower, Megaman rockets in and Mega Punches him clear out of the arena!

Z:0D2, S:0D2, M:0D2

9910: Zero reappears and he takes the opportunity to attack Megaman. Despite his relatively poor performance early in this fight I must say Zero really seems to be dominating the fight now.

Ami: Zero's invincibility wears off and he takes another wallop from Megaman. He recovers and jumps up to the right platform, leaving the other two to deal with a Soul Double copy. Samus fires a fully charged blast at the copy. Both of Zero's opponents must not have realized it was a copy as they seem quite shocked when the injured Zero shimmers and disappears!

9910: Meanwhile the real Zero ducked through a warp pipe and came up on the other side of the arena. He jumps off the POW block on his way, knocking Mega and Samus off their feet. He lands behind Samus and smashes her into Megaman.

Ami: Mega recovers first and sends a Magnet Missile at Zero, who blocks it with a SaberPlus slash.

9910: Samus recovers next and she screwballs through Zero, getting behind him. Now that they have him surrounded they really let him have it! Samus smashes him to Megaman who wallops him back with a Mega Punch!

Ami: The two continue to juggle Zero, Samus smashes him back to Mega who smashes him back.

9910: Samus uses a Super Missile to blast him back to Megaman who uses a Hyper Bomb to blast him clear over to the other side of the arena. He lands on the ground in a crumpled heap. Surprisingly he lifts himself back up!

Ami: He's certainly a fighter. Samus and Megaman both jump over to go at him again. He strikes first, sliding under the two and slashing them from behind. He uses the Ryuenjin and lands on the platform above them. They jump up after him only to have him jump into the warp pipe. The two give chase and Zero ends up in the clouds with Megaman while Samus ends up on the other side of the arena.

9910: Zero puts his alone time with Megaman to good use. He lays into the robot, knowing he can't be surprised from behind like before. Mega desperately tries to defend himself with a Junk Shield but it is destroyed in only a couple seconds.

Ami: Zero sidesteps an uncharged buster shot from Mega and kicks him in the side and then does an upwards smash attack, sending him out.

Z:125D2, S:35D2, M:OUT

9910: Meanwhile, Samus, who was trying futilely to reach the clouds just stops to catch her breath. Zero goes down to her and attacks her.

Ami: She flamethrowers him, knocking him back but not out. She rushes in for the kill only to get hit hard by a SaberPlus attack. The attack stuns her and she stumbles backwards a few steps before Zero smashes her, sending her across and into the pit, bouncing off the walls on her way into the water. She lands on the platform there and recovers.

9910: Zero drops down a warp pipe and ends up right on the platform she's attempting to triple jump to to get out! He jabs his sword downward at her, keeping her from reaching the ledge and she falls off into the abyss and out of this match.

9910: Well, that was certainly an exciting match. Let's go to Navi now who's with Zero.

Navi: Well, Zer, I must say you did quite well in this fight. It looked like you were going to lose at first, especially when they started ganging up on you. What happened there?

Zero: I guess it just took a little while to get used to fighting in my weakened condition. Once I got the hang of it and I memorized their basic strategies the fight became much easier.

Navi: Are you mad at the other fighters for double teaming you at all?

Zero: Of course not. It was a battle and in a battle you always work together against the most powerful enemy first. They recognized my skill and so did the only logical thing.

Navi: Alright then. Well, back to you Knight, Ami, and Crono!

Crono: ...

Ami: You are so cute! Do you want to go out with me sometime?

Crono: ...

Ami: He said yes!

9910: No he didn't! He didn't say anything!

Ami: Ami glares at Knight.

9910: Alright, you win! Just stop glaring! Here's your five bucks. Congratulations.

Ami: Thank you. Ami takes the five dollars.

Crono: ?

(Meanwhile with the losers.)

Megaman: Hey, we're not losers! Stupid narrator!

Navi: So, how do you feel about your loss today?

Samus: Samus has her armor off and has several bruises on her. Zero's definately a skilled enemy. I can see why he's the President of SSS. Also, is it just me or is the author of this match seriously kissing his--

Navi: Hey, this is a family show! No bad language! And for your information Knight-mun chose the winner randomly and any seeming butt-kissing is purely unintentional! Aside How was that?

((Knight-mun: That was good. Here's your two hundred bucks. Hands over 10 twenty dollar bills.))

Navi: Without looking up from counting the money. And how about you, Megaman?

Megaman: Whatever happened to my fight with Kirby? Is it still on the site? I can't find it.

Navi: Back to you, Knight.

9910: Well, then who gets to ask the questions?

Crono: ...

Ami: Alright, go ahead Crono.

Crono: ...

1. ...?
2. ...?
3. ...?
4. ...?
5. ...?

9910: Alright then I guess that's it so this is Knight 9910...

Ami: And Sailor Mercury...

Crono: ...

Ami and 9910: Saying, good knight!

9910: Well, that's a wrap. Let's go home.

Crono: ...

Ami: Say, I wonder how Terri's date with Billy Lee is going?

(Meanwhile, at the Koopa Kafé.)

Billy: I'm having a really nice time tonight.

Terri: Me too. Excuse me but I have to go to the bathroom.

Billy: Okay.

Terri: Terri walks to the bathroom.

Billy: Hey, uh...that's the MEN's bathroom.

Terri: I know. Goes in.

Billy: What the?

Lemmy: Run. Run now while you still can.