Omegaflare Zero: Welcome, SSSers!!! As you may know, some of our fighters are trapped inside ROMs. As we SPs have to remain in the stadium to make sure nothing else happens, we've decided to send some of the newer fighters on a mission to get the captured ones out of their unlikely prison. Will they do it - or fail and stay in the ROM they were supposed to liberate? You will see in the multimatch to come....
Flip: Hello again and welcome to another installment of the Super Smash Stadium!
Flip: Here with me today are our guest commentators! First off, hailing all the way from Kitchen Island and currently my home back in Smashtopia, Wanderin' Goom!
Goom: I still don't understand why we're given such shoddy introductions as commentators...
Flip: Hey, you should be happy to be here. That old coot Carter got hired to clean up after the Stadium's Pokemon.
(flash over to the Pokemon care facilities)
Carter: *shovelling a pile of manure* How can one Lugia crap so much?!
Lugia: HMM-GIA!! *resting over the pile*
Carter: Aw man... *puts on a gas mask*
(back at the Stadium)
Goom: Umm... that was what now?
Flip: *shrugs* Fills up time. *turns back to the crowd* Coming up is our next commentator! That lovable, blue, he's-so-much-smarter-than-you, ball type thing, Lolo!
Lolo: Greetings and salutations my comrades!
Flip: And here comes to not so big, the maybe no so bad, but overall just a pain in your ass, Meta Knight!
Meta Knight: *glaring at Flip* Your blood will be spent if you speak of such a great person as I in a tone like that again....
Meta Knight: Hey... why is my name PINK???
Editor's note:That's what you get when you're a sorry excuse of an evil person... and when I'm bored. ;)
Flip: Err... Next, and finally, we have the gender-bending, friendly-lending, bacon-sending, Terri Tsukino!
Terri: *waves* Hi everybody!
Crowd: Hi Terri Tsukino!
Flip: And here we are, the SSS Comentators for tonight's match!
Terri: What exactly is tonight's match?
Flip: Well Ter, it's something special. You see, after all the fighters were kidnapped by that big, son of a gun monopoly, Microsoft, we had four new fighters join our Stadium. They joined through not only an ad we left in the paper, but also due to our respect and general wanting of their presence. Those fighters, specifically, are King Bowser Koopa, Princess Peach Toadstool, Princess Zelda, who can also become Sheik, and the twin Ice Climbers, Nana and Popo. Essentially, I know little of what's going on totally. Maybe I can phone in another SP... I'm unsure what's going on exactly. *grabs a nearby picture phone and dials up Goshi's number*
Goom: Ring Ring...
Flip: Hey Goshi!
Goshi: Oh, Flip. What's the problem? Did you miss something for the match?
Terri: No, he's just curious as to what exactly is happening during the fight.
Goom: He'd also like to order a pizza. Damn I'm hungry...
Goshi: Well... I can't get you a pizza Goom, but I can tell you all what's going on. Basically, the fighters have been found to be located inside ROMs.
Lolo: ROMs? How is such an occurance possible? The fighters are only human, well, mostly. To transform them into data and place them inside a memory bank would involve someone of quite the intelligence stature. Only a true genius could concoct a device of such caliber to do such a thing.
Goshi: Yes, that's why this is Microsoft we're talking about. They've trapped our fighters inside these ROMs, and its up to the new fighters to go in, and get 'em out!
Flip: How do they do that?
Goshi: Not they. You.
Goshi: All of you.
Goom: Meh... I don't feel much like fighting. I just got back from my silly walks class, and I'm not in the mood for grossing people out right now... Geez I'm tired. *yawns in Meta Knight's face*
Meta Knight: *flares* !!! How dare you breathe the breath of a breathing beast of your breathing! You shall breathe your last breath when I'm through with you!
Goom: Shut up. You're just eight inches tall, and your name color is not exactly... intimidating.
Meta Knight: *holds his sword to Goom's throat* How dare you taunt the Sir Meta Knight in the face of company. Your death shall be a quick one when I'm through with this miserable dump.
Goom: .... *kicks Meta Knight, and he flies away like a rag doll*
Meta Knight: I regret nothing.....!! *dink*
Goshi: AHEM! Getting back on topic, we have a nice new machine built for us especially by Iggy himself. It's HALLIE23779. Not to be confused with HAL900 or Halle Berry mind you. Anyways, this machine may look like a SNES with a Gamecube controller attached because, well, it is. Only... modified greatly.
Lolo: I can see that. *reading manual* Ooo... look at the specs on this baby! *drooling*
Goshi: Err... anyways, what we're going to do is place the fighter into a special portal that will transport them into the cartridge, and therefore into the ROM. This said fighter will then be fully controlled by you guys handling the controller. The controller also contains a microphone to keep you in contact with the fighter. Your goal is to reach the end of the game and rescue the fighters!
Flip: Sounds good to me.
Terri: I'm in!
Lolo: Video games are always an enjoyable mental sport!
Editor's note: Ignore Lolo's comment. If you overdo it, aliens will come and catch you while you are looking at the screen, too busy playing to notice the fact that your whole family is flying behind you inside crystal containers, and that you are about to be put in one too. If you are playing on a GBA or GBC, you may not even notice the fact that you are being carried on a starship.Now, on a serious note... your brain will slowly rot over the years without you noticing if you spend hours playing videogames without taking a break... a guy actually died from this!!!
Goom: I have no hands...
Goshi: Good, you're all gonna do it, save handless Goom over here. I wish you all good luck and such and such. This is Goshi, going out. *hangs up the phone*
(the HALLIE23779 appears on the table in front of the commentators, and is attached to a giant widescreen for the crowd to watch)
Flip: You guys ready? *finger hovers above the power button*
Terri and Lolo: Ready as ever!
Goom: Screw you.
Flip: Okay, then LET'S SMASH! *presses Power*
(the game system starts up, and suddenly a screen of Super Mario Bros. appears. Princess Peach is suddenly teleported in, appears at the beginning of the first level, and nods for Flip to begin)
Flip: Hmm... I remember this level pretty damned well. Let's see...
(Flip guides Peach over to the right, being sure to grab a Super Mushroom in the ? block above her. He stomps a few Goombas, and glides over the group of pipes ahead. He reaches a bush, and stops)
Terri: Why'd you stop?
Editor's note:I'm praying Ter was talking about playing the game...
Flip: There's a 1-Up here somewhere... Ah!
(Peach jumps and hits an invisible ? block. A 1-Up appears, and she grabs it. Flip then controls her further, grabbing the Fire Flower over the chasm, and being sure to get the Starman)
Flip: This is simple enough.
(Peach rams through the final Goombas, then jumps up to the tip of the flagpole for a perfect bonus. Fireworks appear, as the level ended with the time ending in 6, and Peach moves on to the underground level)
Terri: *grabs controller* My turn!
(Terri controls Peach along the underground level, grabbing the Fire Flower, and stomping Goombas. Being a somewhat cheater, Terri jumps to the tippity top of the screen and runs on, missing everything below)
Terri: Warp Zone! Yay!
(Peach enters a pipe, and is headed for world 8-4)
Goom: 8-4? What the hell? It goes to Worlds 2-1, 3-1, or 4-1...
Flip: Hey, it's a ROM. What'd you expect?
Editor's note:Talk about a cheap excuse for going to 8-4 right away =p
Lolo: I suggest I receive the controller now. *grabs the controller from Terri's hands*
(Lolo leads Peach over the lava pit, and straight through the maze. Confused? Not Lolo! He easily navigates the maze of pipes, platforms, and water to reach the final enemy: Bowser. Of course, it's not THE Bowser. Only a pixelated version, which Lolo easily runs under, chops the bridge to kill, and walks to... Mario?)
(In the ROM)
Mario: Oh thank you Peach! *steps up to kiss Peach* Press B for a harder game!
Peach: No thank you, I'll just be rescuing you and that will be that!
Mario: No Peach, I insist.
Press B for a harder game! Press B for a harder game! Press B for a harder game!
*his head spins around*
Editor's note:I could have put a really sick opinion on this particular editor's note... keep that in mind.
Luigi: *jumps in* Listen to my brother, Princess. Press B! Either way... *smirks devilishly* this game just got a whole lot harder.
Yoshi: *falls in* I'm sorry Peach, but your friends are in another castle. *eyes are pure white, he looks straight at Peach* A very different castle.
Peach: *backs up in fear*
(back at the commentating booth)
Goom: What the hell? This isn't the end to Super Mario Bros....
Flip: Yes... Something is wrong, terribly wrong. Lolo! Toss me the controller!
Lolo: *throws the controller to Flip*
Flip: *catches it, and starts to control Peach once more* Okay... *into mike* Peach? Peach?
Peach: I'm here!
Flip: Peach, I'm gonna take over now. Don't worry, I'll guide you. I think that Microsoft screwed with their heads.
Peach: I can tell that! Mario's just now playing soccer with his!
Goom: Those Italians and their soccer...
Terri: Goom! Don't be such a bigot!
Flip: You two, hush! Listen, Peach...
I can handle this. I'm pretty good at fighting games.
Editor's note:Where would we be without Flip's everyday modesty?
Goom: Pretty good...
Lolo: Don't worry Flip. Considering the danger of this situation, the fact that it's 3-on-1, and the Mario Bros. and Yoshi being possessed, your odds are pretty good. I say within the range of 15%. Wait... that's not good...
Flip: Agh! Just let me concentrate! *starts to move Peach towards the other three characters, bringing on a battle between the four*
Terri: Okay! Let's commentate!
Lolo: Hmm... It seems frightfully apparent that Peach is getting herself smacked by Mario! And Yoshi and Luigi have separated to look for items they might be able to use.
Goom: And they do find those said items. Luigi's now giant thanks to a Super Mushroom, and Yoshi is carrying a Bob-omb. Peach doesn't look so great.
Terri: But she's able to do something! She just grabbed and "booty-bumped" Mario backwards into the wall. Just a side note, this arena has no actual spots to fall off. Just the left wall and parts of the ceiling are missing, so expect fighters to get knocked around a lot.
P35% M20% L0% Y0%
Flip: *sweating* C'mon c'mon damnit! They're not leaving me open! Luigi's somehow gotten me stuck in his punch, punch, hip smack combo, and Yoshi's looking like he's ready to chuck that Bob-omb! Ack! *quickly goes into a frenzy with the controller*
Terri: Woah-ho Flip! Peach just knocked back Luigi with a Frying Pan, and was able to block that Bob-omb with Toad just in time. She's going for the three in a group now, seeing as Mario's recovered and ended up right near Luigi and Yoshi. While Mario and Yoshi are trying to recuperate, Luigi is charging a Luigi Headbutt.
Goom: Isn't Luigi the cheap one tonight? He just got a misfire with his headbutt! The explosion sends Peach over the left edge and into the lava! Tough luck!
P0%D1 M20% L28% Y45%
Flip: Agh... Only two more lives left for me, one for each of them... Can I actually do this?!
Lolo: It's not bad relatively speaking. It's indubitable that you will eventually come out victorious. As a matter of fact, here comes Peach on the platform right now.
Terri: She's quickly entering the fray, doing quick hard hits to Luigi and Yoshi, sending them away quickly. She follows with a Peach Bomber to the dashing Mario, and charges up her golf club to get a perfect hole-in-one and smack Luigi against the right wall, up the ceiling, and down near the left edge.
Goom: Using this to her advantage, Peach now grabs Luigi and tosses him, weakly, near the lava. He tries using a Luigi Heabutt to recover, but fails, and he falls to a miserably insulting death...
P5%D1 M49% L OUT Y56%
Terri: Peach is on a roll! Literally! A Screw Attack fell nearby, and she's screwing everyone in sight, especially Mario. *chuckles*
Goom: And Yoshi is definitely taking it hard! His damage is pretty high now!
P5% M75% L OUT Y95%
Flip: YES! I've got the upper hand! Time to finish it all off baby! *taps the control stick*
Goom: Peach is going in for some more. She discards the Screw Attack, and instead, ops to use a good old fashioned Air Smash. It's a direct hit, and Yoshi flops and flips around the room quite a bit. Mario seems unscathed however, and is actually hunting down the Pokeball that fell nearby.
Lolo: Mario is able to grab the sphere, and throws it down for some assistance. With our luck, however, it is a useless(?) Wobbuffet. As a matter of fact, Peach is now hitting the Pokemon, causing it rock back and forth, smacking Mario as he tries to advance. Yoshi also falls into this trap, and is slapped backwards hard by the Pokemon.
Flip: *speaking while playing* Interesting fact is that Wobbuffet is named from two words: Wobble and Buffet. Wobble means to quiver or shake back and forth from a cental point, like a spring attached to something when you flick it. A Buffet is actually not a dinner, but when pronounced Buff-It, it means a strong punching attack, much like a counter.
Terri: That Flip, always a source of useless, or useful, information. And that Peach, always a source of womanly butt-kicking. She's just found a Mr. Saturn, and is happily bobbing Mario with it. Yoshi is a little dazed, but he's up to now, and he's ready to do a Hip Drop.
Goom: Peach rolls out of the way, and smashes Yoshi with her tennis racket, finishing him off through the wall and into the lava, suffering a similar fate as Luigi. Mario is a little more cautios, and tries to jump over her attack, getting in a few good Mario Tornado/Super Jump Punch combos on her.
P34%D1 M115% L OUT Y OUT
Terri: Peach is no idiot though. She dodges his next jump, and grabs him. Positioning perfectly, Peach is able to toss Mario through a crack in the ceiling, giving herself a nice Star Finish. The match is over!
THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... PEACH!
Flip: *wearing bandages on his hands* Agh... that was intense!
Goshi: Yes, it seems so! I just hope the next group of people to attempt this task will be better equipped.
Goom: BETTER EQUIPPED?!
Goshi: Well, you two had no clue what was going on. You should've known!
Goom: It's not my fault Dr. No over here has a metal-hernia.
Editor's note: ??????
Flip: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!
Goom: I don't know... *looks off into space*
Goom: Er-hem... Anyways, the match was fine. We were able to safely transport back all the fighters safely. Despite some problems with a few burns and Mario's whole head thing, they're AOK, and they're in recovery right now.
Flip: Were you able to find anything out about Microsoft?
Goshi: Yes, we actually did. It turns out the machine they use is called X-Box.
Goshi: It supposedly has the ability to absorb rival systems with its eerie green glow. It's a frightening spectacle.
Goom: I've heard it killed a kid!
Editor's note: Actually, a Gamecube killed an adult...
Flip: I heard you can use it as a grill!
Goshi: Hell, I heard it has two added Black and White buttons. Talk about being picky!
Goom: Yeah! What's next? Yellow and Red buttons to promote some sort of "equality" in video game console design now?
Flip: Yeah... that system sucks. Good games, but it sucks.
Goshi: Yes, but it's evil. It steals video gamers' souls!!
Flip: I said it sucks. Geez, what else do you want?! I just freakin' played Super Mario Bros. with a Gamecube controller!
Goshi: *rolls eyes*
(in a distant corner of the galaxy, on a planet named Pop Star)
Meta Knight: *falling from the atmosphere* ....no regrets!! Oof!
*crashes into a giant hamster nest*
Rick: Eep eep! *sniffing Meta Knight*
Meta Knight: Away! Foolish hamster! You don't know that one day I will rule you and all that you know and love. Meta Knight shall be supreme ruler of all that is good, lazy, and cute! *tries to laugh, but it comes out muffled due to the mask*
Rick: Eep squee eep... (your name's still pink, by the way)
Meta Knight: Nnnoooooooooooooo!!!!
Omegaflare:Ah... so (to my surprise) the first
rescue team was succesful. While I feel sorry for Meta Knight
, I'm afraid his color's not changing for a while *evil grin*
Now, let's check the second rescue team.
Omegaflare(over the radio): Hello? GG?Is your team ready?
GG: Yep.Checked up and good to go.
Omegaflare:So, who's with you?
ROM: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Game Guru: Greetings and salutations, I am the
man of incredible knowledge. I am the one who inexplicably kicks your butt every
time. I am--
Editor's Note: We can settle your last statement on battle.net anytime :)
Knight: A Teletubby?
GG: err... NO!(throws Knight out the window)I am the Game Guru!If you feel like learning something, here's a fact: Peach, Bowser, Zelda, and the Ice Climber duo have decided to go save the original twelve fighters from the evil ROMs of Microsoft! Malon is here to commentate because she hopes Link comes back.
Malon: Yeah, now who's saving my missing Link?
Editor's Note:While it doesn't apply to "Malon's" , blame VGF, not the SPs, for any missing links.
Malon: spit it out...
GG: (sweatdrop) uhh... Zelda...
Malon: WHAT!!!? LINK IS GONNA BE SAVED BY THAT 2 CENT---
GG: (quickly interupts) Yes...
Malon: My Link is doomed...
GG: Also with me is the original game master, Kevin Keene or... Captain N.
Zelda: I'm ready...
GG: Well, thanks to Flipster writing the last Match I know... ahem... Zelda, you will enter the Zelda II ROM via the HALLIE23779(fanfare sounds), and we, the commentators, will help by controlling you in the adventure!
Zelda: Why does the Hal... thing look like an SNES with a Gamecube controller taped on...?
GG: uhh... it kinda blew up and Iggy fixed it... I'm sure you won't become transporter jelly!
Zelda: Hey, wait a min--(GG sends Zelda into the Zelda II ROM)
GG: Time to Smash Bash!
(in the ROM)
Zelda: (looks around at Brinstar)uhh... this is not Zelda II...
GG: (off-screen)Don't blame me...
Kevin: (off-screen)Give me that controller! I know Metroid like the back of my hand!
(suddenly, a familiar figure pops up)
Samus: Zelda! Prepare
to die! I know you are Mother Brain's main cocaine supplier!!!
Editor's note: VGF,SMBHQ, and the SSS do not support drugs.
Kevin: A battle already?!
GG: Zelda starts off with a Din's Fire!
Malon: Samus won't take that lightly!
GG: Samus has punched Zelda to the ground!
Malon: Zelda is getting kicked in the stomach!
GG: Wait, Zelda has transformed into Sheik!!!
Samus: How the--?!
GG: Samus is confused.
Malon: Sheik has grabbed Samus and smashed her into the lava!
GG: Sheik was burned by the lava, also!
GG:Wait!! A heart container's fallen!!Samus makes a dive for it!!!
Malon: Sheik kicks Samus as she goes for the heart container and knocks her back into the lava while getting the item!
GG: There goes Samus...
GG:Sheik turns back into Zelda!
Kevin: well with that over... we will move to the next--
Malon: err... why is that timer set to one minute?
GG: Metroid is known for escaping planets when they are about to blow up...
Malon: So, when that timer reaches zero...
Editor's Note: Nicely put, GG.
Zelda: Let's get out of here!
(Zelda jumps left then right, upward to "Samus's" ship)
Zelda: Hey, I might actually make it (jumps up)
(5 Metroids come and latch on to Zelda.)
Zelda: The.. creatures.. they... are... sucking... my energy...
GG: Kevin! we can't let her die!
GG: Do something!
Kevin: I need an ice weapon!
GG: Like Nayru's Love?
Editor's Note: Or the Ice Pick? (NC reference)
(Zelda does Nayru's Love and KO's the Metroids)
Malon: Zelda looks weak...
(Zelda continues jumping upwards)
Kevin: One more platform and not a second to spare!
(Brinstar blows up; Zelda loses a life)
GG: Like the back of you hand... Fortunally, Zelda has two lives left... And we are in the next stage..
Sheik: Umm... not only did I transform unwillingly and without magic, I'm in a vehicle...
Kevin: The F-Zero Grand Prix?
Malon: There is a Zelda II game on this... right?
GG: Of course! From what I can tell you are on... the Rainbow Road? Give the controller to me! I rock on the Rainbow Road!
Samurai Goroh: Hey, look at the Newbie...
Blood Falcon: Kill! Maim! Hurt!
Goroh: Let's Gang bang the newbie!
Editor's Note: The above is the usual welcome newbies receive on the message board.
The other F-Zero X racers: YEAH!!!
F-Zero anouncer: 3... 2... 1... GO!!!
(all 31 F-zero cars speed off except for James McCloud's Little Wyvern)
Announcer: The Hyrulian Hellstorm is quickly advancing into the lead! It appears that the Little Wyvern is having engine trouble!
McCloud: I shouldn't have let Pigma build this racer...
Announcer: And the Little Wyvern is out of the race!
McCloud: DAMN YOU, PIGMA! DAMN YOU TO HE--(disappears into the strata)
Sheik: Was that Fox McCloud?
GG: No! that was just a spoof of Fox!
Editor's Note: James is actually Fox's father....
The Skull: Do not worry about McCloud for I am the reaper of cars, and I will have your soul! MWAHAHA!!!
Sheik: Oh, no you won't!
Goroh: Gang Bang!
Blood Falcon: MUST DESTROY!!!
Announcer: The Hyrulian Hellstorm appears to be fighting the Sonic Phantom, and with the Hell Hawk and Fire Stingway on thier tail-- Speaking of tails, what is that thing on the Hyrulian Hellstorm?
Kevin: It's a Metroid!
(Sheik throws the Metroid at the Sonic Phantom, which crashes into Goroh and Blood Falcon)
Malon: uhh... guys?
GG: Not now...
GG: I'm trying to win...
James McCloud: You got any Mountain Dew?
GG: James McCloud?! Throw him back in!!!
(McCloud is thrown back in the game)
Kevin: Iggy better fix that...
Editor's Note: You can't expect an SNES with a GC controlled taped on to work properly.. can you?
Announcer: It appears that the Hyrulian Hellstorm and the Blue Falcon are neck and neck, near the finish! Wait, the driver of the Little Wyvern has landed on the Blue Falcon! AHHHHHH!!! The Blue Falcon has crashed with the Hyrulian Hellstorm on the finish line!
Capt. Falcon: My car is totaled... Prepare to die!(gets out of the Blue Falcon)
Sheik: (gets out of the Hyrulian Hellstorm)Not if you die first!
(McCloud runs off)
GG: Battle time!!!
Kevin: Falcon begins with a Falcon Kick!
Malon: Now he does a Raptor Boost... Hey, Falcon has an attack that doesn't begin with "Falcon"!
Kevin: Right you are, Malon.
Editor note of: Master Yoda, Kevin is not.
Malon: They are using the F-Zero cars as a battlefield!
Kevin: Sheik has Transformed into Zelda!
Malon: Bad Move! Falcon does his Falcon Dive and grabs Zelda!
Kevin: Zelda has fallen off!
Malon: Zelda has been run over by the Twin Noritta!
Gomar: Hey, Shioh! I think we ran over something...
Shioh: Don't worry about that!
GG: DAMN! my finger slipped...
Editor's Note: Translation:I don't want to admit that I made a mistake. Hey.. why are you looking at me like that? It's not my lack of skill... my finger has its own mind, you know.
Malon: Zelda has one life, left.
Kevin: Zelda is back.
Capt. Falcon: Falcon HI!
Zelda: Falcon BYE!
Malon: Zelda does a Meteor Smash!
Kevin: Now who has got the last laugh, guru?
GG: grr.. that was a fluke...
Malon: Either way we are FINALLY in the Zelda II game, and it's my turn!!!(takes the controller)
Zelda: crap... i'm doomed... This is the Great Palace...
Malon: Just let me control you!
(Zelda goes down the elevator. She defeats a Moblin, and stops at a chasm)
Zelda: How will I get across?
(Malon turns Zelda into a Fairy)
GG: Let's get some Mountain Dew!
Kevin: YEAH!(Both leave)
(Zelda continues to fight Moblins and explore after changing back from being a Fairy)
Malon & Zelda: Ok, the final door... We shall save you Link!
(GG and Kevin return with Mountain Dews)
(Zelda enters the door)
Link: ahh... Zelda, I've been expecting you...
Zelda: You have?
Link: yes... join me and rule Hyrule as my bride!
Zelda: And if I refuse?
Link: You shall die!
Malon: Battle time!
Ze0 L0 ??0
GG: the hell?
(Young Link comes in)
Link: I call him... Mini-me!
GG, Malon, and Kevin: Mini-me?!
Link: Yes, Mini-Me!
GG & Kevin: Link heard us...
Ze0 L0 YL0
GG: Zelda begins with a Din's Fire.
Kevin: Mini-me is flying already!
GG: Zelda is more concerned about Link than Mini-Me
Malon: DIE YOU BAD COPY!!!
GG: Zelda is doing minor damage to Link...
Kevin: Mini-Me is already KOed!
Editor's note: Reason:GG was getting bored.
Ze0 L41 YL(OUT)
GG: Both of them see a Hammer!
Kevin: Zelda grabs the Hammer!
Link: Looks like team rocket is blasting off again!(leaves Team Rocket Style)
GG & Kevin: THIS GAMES' WINNER IS... ZELDA!!!
Malon: Yay, I saved Link!
(GG & Kevin gasp)
GG: She got through--
Kevin: --without losing a life!
Malon: When your boyfriend is Link, you tend to play his games.
Kevin: --that's amazing...
Malon: Thank you, GG!(hugs GG) Thank you, Kevin!(hugs Kevin)If I didn't commentate, both Zelda and Link would be doomed!!!
GG & Kevin: HEY!!!
GG: (answers phone)Hello? Goshi?! Ooh, I most certainly am not! Come on! Kevin goofed up, too! No, he is not rusty! I say! You shouldn't use language like that!!!
Omegaflare: Hmm.... it seems Malon is better
at SSBM than GG... maybe we should make her an SP
In the meantime, let's see how Flip's team is doing.
ROM: Ice Climbers
Flip: Well well well folks! It seems once again we've returned to this very commentating group to give you another thrilling battle!
Flip: As you may recall, the commentators here with me on this side of the Stadium are as follows: Wanderin' Goom!
Goom: Yay yay... *rolls his eyes*
Lolo: Many welcomes Superpower-san!
Flip: Terri Tsukino!
Terri: Hi again everybody! *waves and winks*
Boshi: *in crowd* Take it off! Take it off!
Goom: .... That is one sick, sick yoshi.
Terri: *blushing* If only he knew the truth...
Flip: Err... yes you two. And now, our next guest commentator, replacing our "lost" Meta Knight, hailing from the land of Altea, carrying the great sword Falchion, and flirting with every girl in sight: Prince Marth!
Marth: *nods* It's a pleasure to be here at the Stadium, Flip. Especially in the presence of the wonderful lady. *glances towards Terri*
Goom: Dude... *whispers in Marth's ear*
Marth: Really? Well... that's... interesting... *tries to distract his eyes from looking at Terri*
Terri: *shrugs* It doesn't really matter Marth. Happens a lot. So, to keep this conversation going before the match begins, I've heard you've got plans here Marth. Is that true?
Marth: Yes, I actually do. Ever since my battle against the Dark Dragon, Medeusa, I've been perfecting my sword skills. Over the years, I've acquired a taste for the beauty that is sparring. My dream is to fight here some day.
Flip: Well, who knows. Maybe you will. *looks at the audience, smiling and winking*
Goom: Something in your eye Flip?
Flip: *looks down pitifully at Goom*
Goom: Oohh! Heh heh heh... I get it!
Flip: Yes... anyways, we've got an exciting match for you today folks! We've got Nana and Popo, the twin Ice Climbers from Infinite Glacier way up North, with us today! They're going to be rescuing, with the help of their amazing climbing, spelunking, and surviving skills, the cuter characters here at the Stadium!
Marth: Only, I'm not in need of rescue. *beams a smile for the ladies in attendance*
Goom: *gives him an odd look* What the...
Flip: Anyways, these fighters include the likes of the two Pokemon here at the Stadium, as well as Ness and Kirby. Looks like these fighters could get ugly!
Lolo: But I believe you had claimed the fighters were cute...
Editor's Note: Anything that says, "Pika pika" is downright disturbing, not cute.
Flip: And I believe I claimed you were also a wise-aleck. Please, we must get HALLIE started up again. *hits the Power button, and the Ice Climbers are seen stepping onto the teleporter tray*
Popo: *speaking to Nana* Good luck, sis!
Nana: Same to you, brother! *the two teleport away*
Flip: Okay okay! It's time to get this match started! *presses Start on the controller* Do do do... Ice Climber... Do do do... Funnest game ever made... pre-1985! *humming to himself*
Lolo: Flip. Sorry to alarm you, but this title screen does not appear to be the one for Ice Climber.
Terri: It looks to be... Balloon Fight!
Flip: Huh? *turns his head around from drinking, and sees the screen* So it is... What happened?
Goom: Ring ring...
Goshi: *on phone* Hey Flip! Just to warn you, there seems to be a malfunction with HALLIE23779. After all the gameplay it's been under, it's gotten quite the beating. The processor is practically fried... But, nonetheless, the fan we've installed should keep the main system cool. It's just that... the teleporter's appearing to not be working.
Goom: Obviously! We thought this was going to be Ice Climber... Balloon Fight?! The Ice Climbers can't fly...
Marth: And those hammers... how weak they look!
Goshi: Don't diss those Climbers... They're quite formidable. Listen, I think the machine may actually have known something we didn't.
Terri: What's that, Goshi?
Goshi: Well, the computers are registering that the lost fighters are in fact located in the ROM of Balloon Fight. The teleporter may not be broken after all...
Lolo: But you had told us that the teleporter needed to be fixed a minute ago...
Goshi: Umm... this is Goshi, signing out! *phone
Editor's Note:Hm... why do people "have" to leave when something contradicts whatever they said? Is it really a coincidence?
Flip: Augh... Now I have to somehow play this game with the Ice Climbers...
Popo: *in game* Don't worry Flip!
Nana: We can handle this!
Flip: How so?
Popo: With our new friend...
Nana: Balloon Fighter!
Popo: He said he could carry one of us around for a bit!
Nana: And the other would be carried by his father, Balloon Man!
Marth: Is there, per chance, a Balloon Woman?
Goom: Yeah, back at your castle waiting for you to blow her up again, Marth.
Lolo: Was freezing...
Flip: Listen, I don't care about what Marth does
in his spare time! Listen, Popo and
Nana... Just get the help, okay? I need to do this fast!
The machine seems to be malfunctioning, and I want to get this done as fast a possible,
Luckily, no one knows what I do in my spare time...
Ice Climbers: *nod*
Balloon Fighter: Alright!
Balloon Man: *grabs Popo, his son grabs
Nana* We're off! *jetpack starts up*
Editor's Note: As usual, things get changed around a bit here in the stadium. in the game, balloon man flies using his hands!!! What were the developers smoking?Did they have a "genius" idea and say, "Hey, let's give the character really big hands so he can use 'em to fly!".Geez... I wonder how Captain Hook would fly in this game...
Balloon Fighter: *starts waving and kicking in the air* Yesiree dad!
Flip: Hmm... *tosses Terri a second controller* You can be the Second Player. Let's go! *starts pressing the A button rapidly, giving Balloon Fighter a nice, erratic flight pattern*
Terri: *opts to use B instead, giving Balloon Man one continuous propulsion with his jetpack*
Popo: Gasp! A Balloon Popper! Take that! *swings his hammer, smashing the popper's beak and sending him into the water below*
Nana: Hmph! *chucks an icicle at another popper*
Goom: This is exciting... wait, no it isn't!
Marth: Yes... Say, Wanderin' Foom thing... did I tell you about the time me and Seeda got some honey and... *whispers to Goom*
Goom: Really? You can do that? Hmm... I wonder if Felicia likes honey...
Lolo: Will you two please hush? I'm watching this game!
Flip: Okay... this is too easy.
Terri: Balloon Fight is an easy game, so what.
Omegaflare (over the radio) :I just lost a life... does that mean the NES is not for me?
Marth:Try a good strategy game like Fire Emblem.
Omegaflare (over the radio): A good strategy game? Great idea, Marth!! ::inserts the Starcraft: Brood War cd in his computer::
Marth: Obviously, that guy has terrible taste ...
Popo: *yawns* That was simple!
Nana: No problem at all!
Yellow Popper: Oh really?
Flip: Who said that?
Yellow Popper: YAH! *leaps from the air and attacks the quad of misfit heroes* See how good you are with no balloons! *lunges to pop Balloon Man's balloons*
Balloon Man: Oh no! *shoots a laser, which blows up the popper for no apparent reason*
Flip: Well... well... that was easy...
Terri: *taking finger off Z button* It was!
Balloon Fighter: Maybe we should go, right dad?
Balloon Man: Yeah. You can only have so much fun doing this again and again. *the two leave*
Nana: Well, that leaves the two of us!
Kirby: *comes down on a Warp Star* You mean five of us!
Ness: *appears in a flash of fire*
Pikachu: *comes from a Pokeball*
Jigglypuff: *floats down on a sound stage*
Ice Climbers: HELP!
Flip: Okay! The match has begun! *glasses glisten*
Terri: Oh no... that look in his eyes!
Goom: Like he could conquer the world!
Marth: Or a few women! Damn... I should learn how to make my eyes spark like that!
Lolo: Oh, shut up Marth and comence commentating on the match!
(suddenly, screen star sweeps and plays the battle intro from Paper Mario for no real reason)
Goom: Okay! Flip starts off by leading the Ice Climbers on to one of the platforms near the top of the screen. If he can get them to constantly Smash attack, he can easily KO the opponents.
Lolo: The arena that they are fighting on is actually Balloon Fight. It's
three platforms arranged diagonally, all about the size of one platform on the Yoshi's
Story arena. At the bottom of the platforms are stalacmites, which prevent much
maneuvarability. Below the middle platform is a Flipper, and at the bottom is two
landmassess separated by a lake of water. The fighters should watch out for Oiram
Repus, the evil creature who lurks there, munching on unknowing fighters.
Editor's note:Now you know how I lost a life =(
Terri: Thanks for explaining that to the fans Lolo. Now, back to the action, it seems that Ness and co. are just lulling around. They're either too stupid to do anything, or they're using a fabian tactic. This should make the Ice Climbers come to them, and, sadly, it works.
Marth: For the player that he wishes he were, he sure is not very intelligent. Flip has lead the Ice Climbers right into the trap that the opponents set for them!
Goom: And Pikachu is the first to deliver a blow! His Thunderjolt sure did send a jolt down Popo's spine, and his follow up Smash attack has incidentally done the same to Nana!
Terri: The two Climbers are down, but not out! They've manage to use a Belay to get back out of the water, and save their animal furred hides. The two decided to use a Blizzard attack, and freeze Pikachu and Jigglypuff, even though Jigglypuff wasn't doing anything at all.
Goom: Ness and Kirby are on the other side, and both are using projectiles across the water to hit the Climbers. Ness' PK Fire and Kirby's Final Cutter come too short however, and the Climbers mock them for it.
Flip: Ha ha! Taunting rules!
Editor's Note: Hitting someone whil he/she's taunting rules even more =)
Popo and Nana: Yup!
Lolo: Pikachu is now free, seeing as he struggled so much, and he's decided to let the Ice Climbers know it! Thunder rains down upon them, and they fly right into the Flipper, and fall down back to where they were. This is not their good day...
IC45% N0% K0% P12% J14%
Terri: Or maybe it is... They lucked out and grabbed the Pokeball that just fell next to them. They've tossed it, and it reveals... Raikou? Wow! They lucked out!
Goom: But not everyone else! All four opponents are taking a shock beating from the Legendary Beast!
Marth: Hmm... have I fought one of those things before?
Terri: It's a Pokemon... I doubt it. But, anyways, the Ice Climbers are now taking advantage of their weakened opponents. Pikachu is first to go! The Climbers single him out, and do a charged DOUBLE Smash! He's a goner!
IC45% N35% K40% POUT J55%
Goom: They've been reinstilled with faith!
Flip: Please, my fighters, be reinstilled with faith!
Terri: And a Heart Container has just fell from the sky! Lucky! Nana decides to grab it, and shares it with Popo. The two are now, cheaply, fully healed! Ness doesn't like this, and uses a PK Thunder to boost across the water after them.
Lolo: However, it's frightfully apparent that all fighters under Microsoft's control are idiots, as Ness misses the ledge and falls in water.
Ness: *glub glub* Augh!Rose... ugh... Rose... something's got my leg! Augh! *goes under*
Marth: *eyes wide open* Is THIS what happens to your fighters?!
Goom: Don't worry, he'll be okay. We think...
Terri: Anyways, Jigglypuff just used Sing to put Nana and Popo to sleep. She's followed with a Rest attack, and got a solid 30% damage out of it. Nana is flying, but Popo hasn't moved much. He's a deep sleeper...
Goom: Nana being in the air near Kirby is a bad thing, as the pink wonder is able to swallow her, and spit her straight into the water. She recovers with a Squall Hammer and grabs the ledge, but Kirby is able to grab and piledrives her back into the water again.
Lolo: She's still at it though, and again Squall Hammers back to the ledge. Kirby, fed up, jumps in the water to push her down himself. Stupid mistake!
Oiram Repus: Mmm... Marshmallow! GLOMP!
Editor's note: Kirby just lost his throne at the top of the food chain to a fish I'd never heard about.
Marth: !!!! DID HE JUST EAT THAT DREAMLANDER?!
Goom: 'fraid so! Just look at the stats...
IC50% N OUT K OUT P OUT J55%
Goom: Hee hee... Nout Kout and Pout...
Flip: Shut up! I'm ready to kill Jiggles here! *taps the control stick furiously*
Marth: *turning a pale white*
Terri: And he does... to make a long boring story shorter and less boring, Popo grabs and tosses JPuff straight into the air, then uses Nana to help him do Meteor Hammer Smash to send Jiggles back where she came from! The match is finished!
THIS GAME'S WINNERS ARE... THE ICE CLIMBERS!
(In the Ice Climbers' locker room)
Flip: Wow guys! You performed great as a team in your first battle here at SSS!
Popo: Thanks Flip!
Nana: We appreciate you guys treating us so well here at the Stadium. It's a nice break from our day jobs climbing mountains and keeping the buzzard population under control.
Flip: Well, thanks for the thanks... I suppose. Say, how about we go out for something. The next match is coming up, but I don't have to commentate for a while. How about we get... snow cones. My treat!
Popo: Oh, c'mon. I have snow cones all the time.
Nana: Yeah! Popo makes the best eggplant snowcones!
Flip: Eggplant... but aren't your best friends eggplants?
Popo: Umm... *shuffles his feet*
Nana: Well... *turning red*
Editor's Note: Remind me to NEVER befriend an Eskimo...
Flip: Oh geez...
Goom: *walks in* What's happenin'? Hey guys, anyone up for pizza? My treat!
Popo: Oh boy!
Nana: Eggplant pizza!
Flip: *runs into the bathroom, sickly green*
Goom: What's his problem?
Popo: Something to do with snow cones.
Goom: Oh, okay... Hey, where's Marth? He said he'd come with us. He wanted to give me a few pointers on picking up chicks...
(back at the commentating booth)
Marth: *curled in a fetal position beneath his chair, shaking and murmuring*
Editor's Note: I wonder what kind of chick falls for Marth's style...
Omegaflare : Once again, the rescue team managed to accomplish its mission. Now, we've got only two fighters to rescue... but that's up to GG's team.
ROM: Star Fox
Omegaflare: Hello? GG?
Omegaflare: *ahem* GG....? Are you there?
Omegaflare: I didn't want to use this.. but... *pushes a button labeled "Wake up" *
(A bucket labeled "ice" appears above GG and drops its contents on the sleeping Guru...)
GG: GAAAAAHHHHH!!! What the h--
Omegaflare: Get to work, GG
GG : Grrrr.....
Omegaflare: Sorry for waking you up, but Flip's team is done... so it's your turn.
Editor's Note: heheh... I love this job.
Omegaflare: Over and Out.
GG: Hey, Kevin, wake up!
Kevin: What?? Flip's match is over?
GG: Yeah... to recap, everyone's been rescued from the ROMs besides Fox and DK, who happen to be in a Star Fox ROM.
Kevin: And the one who will save them is Bowser Koopa?!
GG: Yep, commentating with me again is Captain N, Kevin Keene!
Kevin: Unfortunally, Malon left with Marth of Fire Emblem fame!
GG: Wait, you know Marth?
Kevin: When you have toured Videoland...
Editor's note: Too bad for GG... Funcoland will have to do for him.
GG: Good Po--
(Bowser stomps in)
Bowser: YOU! Stop the small talk and send me in, Captain Zero and Gasfart!
GG: He never was good with names...
Bowser: Just send me in!
GG: Don't you want to know the ri--
Bowser: I KNOW! You will use some crappy looking SNES with the Gamecube controller taped on to send me into the ROM. While I am in the ROM, you and Lunkhead over there will control me as I save Plox and Dinky Kong.
GG: Hey, your son made it, not me!
Bowser: Which is all the more reason for me to leave and get a Koopa Kola!
Bowser: Do you know how angry it makes me that Lardio beats me in every game?!
GG: FINE!!! I will send you in...(GG sends Bowser into the Star Fox ROM)
(inside the ROM)
Bowser: (in an airwing)Fine, I'm in...
GG: Ok (takes the controller)
Peppy: Who are you?
Falco: Probably some new teammate of Fox's...
Slippy: Hi, I'm Slippy...
Bowser: Can I kill them?
Kevin: NO! They are your teammates!
Bowser: Can't I at least kill the Toad?
(Bowser and the Star Fox team launch off into Corneria)
Falco: Fine, Bowser, just don't get in my way!
Peppy: Bowser, trust your instincts!
Slippy: Hey, wait for me!
Bowser: I am so screwed...
Falco: Hey, look it's the Star Wolf team!
Pigma: I've got a bad feeling about this!
Andrew: Who cares? 'Cause I'm here, everything will be fine!
Leon: That's the part we're most worried about...
GG: Ooh... score one for Leon of the Star Wolf team!
(Bowser chases after Wolf's ship. he is missing a lot of shots, however)
Wolf: Poco laughes at you, Koopa!
Slippy: Bowser! Help me! Save me! Help me! Save me! Help me! Save me! Help me! Save me!
(Bowser shoots down Andrew with ease! Falco and Peppy shoot down Leon and Pigma respectfully)
Falco: Now, Wolf. 4-on-1... like the odds...
Wolf: Make that 4-on-2!
(another arwing flies out and it lands on the Great Fox. Fox comes out of it)
Peppy, Slippy, and Falco: FOX MCCLOUD!!!
Fox: No, it's James McCloud from F-Zero... WHO DID YOU EXPECT!!!?
Bowser: Sorry, guys. I'm here to rescue McCloud. I'm sure you guys can handle Wolf!
Peppy: Good luck!
Slippy: We won't let you down!
Falco: At last, I'm leader now!
(Bowser lands and gets out, also)
Kevin: Battle time!
Kevin: Fox starts with a Fox Illusion!
GG: Bowser breathes fire on Fox!
Kevin: But Fox uses his reflector! Bowser will feel that in the morning!
GG: Bowser is gaining the upper hand!
Kevin: He uses his Koopa Klaw!
GG: Ooh, looks Like Wolf accidently hit Fox from his Dogfight with Peppy, Slippy, and Falco!
Kevin: Which gives Bowser enough time for the Bowser Bomb!
GG: Fox is out of here!
Wolf: You won't get away that easily, Koopa! Say bye-bye to the Great Fox!
(the Great Fox is blown to smithereens. Bowser hangs in the air for a while, and then drop onto a skyscraper)
Giant DK: Me Kong! Me destroy Corneria!
Bowser: How will I fight that?!
GG: Don't worry(sends a Super Mushroom to Bowser)
Bowser: I have become... Giant Koopa!
Kevin: My turn!(takes the controller)
Bw0 DK 0
GG: This is oviously one of the special matches.
Editor's Note:A giant ape and a giant lizard fighting on a skyscraper... should we call this the Rampage rip-off?
Kevin: Bowser and DK are Punching each other!
GG: There is no enough room for Flashy attacks!
Kevin: Bowser attempts his Fire Breath
GG: It misses DK!
Kevin: Bowser succedes with the Whirling Fortress!
GG: Bowser and Donkey Kong seem to be evenly matched...
(the Star Fox team has shot down Wolf)
Peppy: Bowser, We're here to help!
Slippy: We've got the enemy on our monitors
Falco: Try to stay alive, Bowser!
GG: And DK is blasted out of here care of Slippy, Peppy, and Falco!
THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... BOWSER!!!
(Bowser, DK, and Fox return at regular size)
Bowser: Fine, every fighter has been saved...
Kevin: Why is the TV screen green?
Bowser: Green's a nice color...
DK: NO! It isn't.
Fox: Orange is cooler!
GG: (sniffs) Is green also a smell?!
X: (from inside the HALLIE23779) If I can't have the fighters, NO ONE WILL!!!
GG: Oh crap... The HALLIE23779 is gonna go critical!
Editor's Note: When a situation of this kind presents, "damn" is usually a better word than "crap"
(Bowser picks the HALLIE23779 and throws it out the window)
Bowser: DUCK! NOW!
(GG, Kevin, Fox, DK, and Bowser duck)
Bowser: What... just... happened...
GG: uhh... we won!
Kevin: Let's go celebrate!
DK & Fox: YEAH!(everyone leaves)
Flip: *enters the booth with a bottle of vodka* Guys? I've some victory drinks! Huh? Ugh...... Well, since everyone left, I'll ask the questions!
#1: Should there be more Multimatches like this one?
#2: Will Bowser remain on the side of good?
#3: Was this ending just some way to eliminate a villian quickly?
#4: Will we see the evil X, again?
(inside the ROM World)
X: Damn... I'm stuck...
Samurai Goroh: I say we Smash Bash X!
(The F-Zero racers, the F-Zero announcer, Young Link, Balloon Fighter, Balloon Man, the Star Fox team, the Star Wolf team, and Oiram Repus pull out billy clubs)
(in the Cryptkeeper's lair)
: And that boys and ghouls is why you shouldn't mess with the SSS, Nintendo, or the Editor!
Mario Statue: Help... Please... Someone? Anyone?
Original Idea:Most SPs except the guy who just keeps updating his bio.
Rounds 1 & 3:Flip
Round 2 & 4:GG
Pics,coding, end editing:Zero/Zer/whatever you wanna call me.
Pic Fixer:Metal Man88
thanks to our fans for reading this!!!
We wouldn't do this if it weren't for you!!!