Match #74
The Question: Which Nintendo RPG is the best of the best: Pokémon, Earthbound,
Fire Emblem, or Star Tropics?
Fighters for Great Bay in Termina
| Player One |
Player Two |
Player Three |
Player Four |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Marth |
Ness |
Pikachu |
Mike |
Lemmy: Welcome to another stunning match here at the
Super Smash Stadium! We're going to be having a special sequel match to the RPG
Battle of last season. Replacing Mario this time around
will be Marth, and Ness
and Pikachu will be making return appearances!
Crowd: *cheers*
Flip: *sighs* And if you haven't noticed already, we
seem to be missing Link in this epic RPG battle redux...
Crowd: *boos*
Lemmy: But no worry! We've found someone better to replace
him: Mike Jones from the hit "sister game" to The Legend
of Zelda, Star Tropics!
Crowd: WHA?!
Flip: *frowns* They still don't know who he is...
Lemmy: Tisk tisk people! Mike
is the hero of Coralcola! He's coming all the way from Seattle, Washington, USA
to show us his teenage skills and amazing tricks he's learned in the Southern Seas,
as well as throughout Time and Space. How could you not know who
Mike Jones is?
Crowd: Oohhh!
Lemmy: That's better.
Flip: Yes... Anyways, people, we have some interesting
guest commentators with us this time around. So, please give your attention to...
KiddyKong64!
Crowd: *simultaneously makes farting noises in their armpits*
KiddyKong64: *walks out wearing banana ear muffs* Yo!
Lemmy: What... is with the bananas?
KK64: Well, this is Mike's debut match, so I decided I'd
show a little support and wear these things. *turns towards the audience and makes
a crazy peace sign, tongue-sticking out pose* Star Tropics rules!
SwordBlade2k: *in audience* Damn straight!
Flip: *nods* It sure does! But now, our next commentator
should be getting attention shown in her direction...
Ukyo!
Crowd: Yay!
Boshi: Take it off!
Megaman: Not again... *shoots Boshi and he explodes ala
Monty Python*
Crowd: *cheers*
Ukyo: Hey! Attention should be presented to me, not to some half-decimated, blue
dinosaur!
Flip: *puts his hand on Ukyo's shoulder* Don't worry,
Ucchan. They won't be neglecting you anymore. *winks*
Ukyo: !!! *breaks free and smacks Flip over the head with her giant spatula*
Flip: GAK! *falls over onto the booth floor unconscious*
Ukyo: Hmph!
Lemmy: Well then... *coughs* It seems we should move
on then... KK64?
KK64: *turns around from looking at Ukyo* ...Uh... yes. Tape?
Lemmy: Tape.
KK64: Okay... *pushes in the tape*
(on the tape)
Crowd: W00t!
Eric Marrs: *in crowd* Oh boy! I can't wait to see Marth
kick Link's butt again!
Raichu26: Paula's not in this one... but I think
Ness will do. Go Ness!
DracanoYoshi: Link's totally gonna wipe the floor. Zelda
games rule!
hferg: *pointing* Look at that guy! He's trying to sneak in ahead of time!
ness100: *whips out a billy club* Let's get him!
Mike: Hmm? *turns around to see an angry mob coming after
him* AAH!
Eric: How do you like it, punk?
Mike: Please please! I'm a fighter! For the love of- OW!
My funny bone! That wasn't funny at all!
Megaman: *sees him in danger* Oh no! A young teenage fan
in trouble? This looks like a job for... *rips off his suit to reveal him wearing
the same suit underneath* MEGAMAN! *jumps in and starts
shooting into the air to scare people away*
hferg: It burns!
Dracano: But he didn't hit us...
hferg: I said "it burns."
Dracano: O...kay...
Crowd: *runs away*
Megaman: Hey, you're not a fan... you're
Mike! The new fighter!
Mike: FINALLY someone notices!
Megaman: I'm really looking forward to that match you
know. I can't wait to see someone kick that Link into
next year.
Mike: Link's not fighting...
Megaman: WHA?!
Mike: I'm his replacement. He went on hiatus or something...
Megaman: Well... that blows. When's he coming back?
Mike: *shrugs* He just upped and left.
Mario is pretty downed about it and refuses to fight...
that's why Marth is in the match as well.
Megaman: That changes a lot... Well, I've got people to
save, things to do, robots to destroy... Later!
Mike: Yeah... later... *sighs, and then enters the Stadium*
(end tape)
KK64: Wait a sec... that told us nothing! All we know now is that the fans don't
like Mike.
Lemmy: Don't KNOW Mike. Not
don't like Mike. There's a difference...
Flip: Ugh... *sits up and rubs his head*
Ukyo: *smacks him again*
Flip: Ack! *falls down once more*
Lemmy: Well, enough stalling. Time for the match!
KK64: Right-o! We've got Marth with his sword skills,
Ness with his psychic powers, Pikachu
with his electricity, and Mike with his... whatever he
has.
Ukyo: *reading off an index card she found on her chair* Hmm... let's see.
Mike's moves are... "B: Asterisk, which is a throwing
star; Smash B: Pitch, where he throws something; Up B: Golden Anklet, where he jumps
really high; and Down B: Cleet Stomp, where he stomps down his cleeted boots." It
also says that all his basic attacks revolve around either his yo-yo or his item
inventory. Interesting.
Lemmy: Indeed. I can't wait to see
Mike in action! Now, without further ado... The Match!!
KK64: Yeah!
Ukyo: Alright!
Flip: Ughh...
Lemmy: The fighters are entering the arena right now.
On the far left, on the rock in the water, is Marth
riding down on an elegant pegasus.
Marth: I'll begin this battle, and end it as well.
Lemmy: Appearing in a flash of fire to the left of the
Great Bay laboratory is Ness.
Ness: Woah! Did I just see a midget riding a balloon?
Tingle: Ka-loo!
Lemmy: Pikachu appears from
his Pokéball to the right of the laboratory.
Pikachu: PIKA!
Lemmy: And Mike appears in
a fizzle of static on top of the Turtle.
Mike: Geez... *losing his balance* You'd think they would
start me off somewhere that isn't slippery when wet...
KK64: *chuckling* "Slippery when wet"... That never gets old.
Ukyo: Eww... If I had known that you were all sickos as well as jackasses, I would've
never signed on for this.
Lemmy: Okay! The fighters are all in the arena! So...
KK64: Let me!
Lemmy: ...fine.
KK64: SMASH IT UP!
Lemmy: That was lame...
KK64: Your mom.
Lemmy: That doesn't even make sense.
KK64: Your mom.
Lemmy: *sighs*
Flip: *crawls up to his chair, and readily avoids any
contact with Ukyo* ...so... *glances around nervously* This match will have 2 lives
per fighter... and lots of items... and... everyone will have fun...
Ukyo: *looks towards KK64* Did that just sound sexual to you? It did to me.
Flip: Great... *lays down and cowers*
Ukyo: YAH! *smacks Flip over the head with the spatula
once more*
KK64: That nevers gets boring.
Lemmy: What I don't get is that Ukyo was a tomboy in
Ranma 1/2, but she always took compliments well... she never beat any guys, except
Ranma...
KK64: Who said the site had to be true to the games and such?
Lemmy: True.
Marth: *glaring at the commentators* Ahem.
Lemmy: OH YEAH! Go ahead guys... fight...
Ness: Finally!
Pikachu: CHU!
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
0% |
Ness
0% |
Pikachu
0% |
Mike
0% |
KK64: Well! It looks like this match will be starting off amazingly strong. The
fighters had some... extra time... to think about their strategies, and now they're
all trying to pull some amazing maneuver that will destroy their opponents.
Marth starts off by jumping and slashing at
Ness, knocking him back into Pikachu.
Mike jumps up and traps the two fighters in a rapid yo-yo
attack. They're hurting!
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
0% |
Ness
24% |
Pikachu
15% |
Mike
0% |
Ukyo: Marth joins in on the fun! His beautifully
crafted hands are allowing the sword to become an extension of his arms, swaying
and slashing with grace. Oh!
Lemmy: ... Marth is adding up damage to the other
three opponents' counters. He's far enough away that his longsword, the Falchion,
is hitting all three with its tip, the most damaging part of the sword. That means
trouble for Mike and the rest, as
Marth is doing a nice, constant sword slash to rack
up damage on the right side of the laboratory deck. Mike
seems a little surprised that he himself could fall into such a cheap attack...
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
0% |
Ness
35% |
Pikachu
26% |
Mike
19% |
KK64: But not to fear! Item containers are here! *tosses in a Chansey Egg that lands
on the Turtle's back* Now let's see them scramble, which is a horribly bad pun,
I know. Ness does an around-the-world with his yo-yo to
knock all the fighters away, then runs for the egg. Pikachu
does a Thunder attack to keep Mike and
Marth at bay, then runs after the egg himself.
Ness is reaching for it, but Pikachu
won't stand for that.
Pikachu: PI-KA! *kicks Ness
and the egg*
BOOM!
Lemmy: Woah! That egg just blew up! I didn't expect that!
Honestly, I didn't. Ness and Pikachu
are sent high! Pikachu seems to have a little trouble
landing properly, as the Turtle is beginning to sink beneath the waves. He tries
a Quick Attack, and he barely manages to grab the edge of the small log platform.
Ness isn't so lucky, as his PK Thunder backfires... but
not before slamming into the greedy Marth who thought
he could jump out and beat the two over the edge. Marth
is shocked and set down into the waves! Ness falls like
a stone into the ocean as well! They're down!
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
D1 |
Ness
D1 |
Pikachu
65% |
Mike
25% |
KK64: Mike jumps down to the lower platform and kicks
back Pikachu, who happened to be scrambling up over
the edge at the time. Pikachu comes back with a Skull
Bash, and knocks Mike underneath the platform. He manages
to jump back up safely, and for revenge, does a Cleet Stomp to meteor attack
Pikachu right into the log platform.
Pikachu looks POed and does another Skull Bash.
Mike is sent straight across the water, and onto the rock!
Woah! But he won't give up. He does a Pitch attack full force, tossing a baseball
straight at Pikachu. Pikachu
can't get out of the way in time, and is hit back. The Turtle reappears, just his
luck, and Pikachu falls down for a rest on the Turtle's
back. Marth and Ness have
both reappeared.
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Marth
0% |
Ness
0% |
Pikachu
87% |
Mike
67% |
Ukyo: Oh! Marth is back! He's starting off with a
very inventive Smash attack, which doesn't work on that still invincible punk,
Ness. But Marth does it
again with a Shield Breaker when Ness' invincibility wears
out, and this time, Ness is shielding, ironically.
Ness is hurt and sent careening onto the Turtle. He immediately
meets up with Pikachu, and the two start hitting each
other back and forth.
Ness: I've fought Crows tougher than you!
Pikachu: Ka! Pi! Pika! (I wouldn't talk like that, melon
head!)
Lemmy: I think Pikachu just
made a crack about Ness' head... but, nonetheless, those
two aren't very exciting right now. Now, Marth and
Mike. There's something!
KK64: You're right! Mike is doing a Time Smash, whipping
out various item after various item. Baseball bat, sword, laser, axe...
Marth is able to counter that last one!
Mike can't guard, and instead is sent backwards. He dashes
back with an Asterisk attack, which hits Marth forward,
digs into him, then splits in half and sends him straight up.
Mike is using this to his advantage!
Mike: Let's see how well you fair in the air! *jumps and
does an aerial uppercut smash to Marth*
Marth: Augh! *hears a cracking noise coming from
his back, and falls towards the ground limply*
Lemmy: Did Marth just
crack his back? Woah...
Ukyo: Don't worry. We'll level this out! For dear Marth!
*throws out a pizza*
Marth: Thanks! *gobbles it up and heals himself*
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
34% |
Ness
28% |
Pikachu
94% |
Mike
78% |
KK64: Anyone notice Pikachu's damage is really high?
I think Marth just did... He's dashing at
Pikachu on top of the Turtle. He smacks
Ness out of the way, slips a tad, but quickly turns and
Smashes Pikachu out of there!
Pikachu: PIKA PIKAAAAA! *dink*
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
34% |
Ness
36% |
Pikachu
D1 |
Mike
78% |
Flip: *opens his eyes* ...
Lemmy: *notices Flip* Hey!
Get up!
Flip: I've been up... I just didn't want to get hit
again...
KK64: So you've heard what's been going on?
Flip: Sure sure... *climbs into his chair and puts a
cold compress on his head* Ugh... Hey! Mike's doing good!
Lemmy: Yeah!
Ukyo: Hmph... *ignores Flip*
Marth has just KO'd that electric rodent! Hurray for
Marth! He's now going after that teenage guy with
the weird hair.
Flip: Mike... he's going after
Mike..
Ukyo: *glares at Flip*
Flip: I mean that teenage guy with the weird hair. Yeah,
that's who I meant. Heh heh... *holds out his palms to halt her* But, anyways, the
guy with the weird hair is now in the lead, and he's showing it.
Mike: *taunts* Oh yeah!
Flip: *adjusts the cold pack* Mike is chucking bolas at
both Marth and Ness, who
are fighting each other. Ness decides to end it, and swings
his baseball bat, sending Marth over the side of
the Turtle. However, the Turtle is sinking. Much to Ness'
dismay, he'll have to leave. He ends up running right into a bola thrown by
Mike too! He and Mike turn and
face each other down. Noone cares about Marth I suppose,
who is struggling like crazy to prevent himself from sinking. Oh, and
Pikachu's back...
Marth: Gasp... Wheeze... Cough... Augh! *sinks beneath
the currents*
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
OUT |
Ness
56% |
Pikachu
0% |
Mike
78% |
Ukyo: Marth is OUT?! Oh!! *falls down and cries in
her chair*
Lemmy: *holding his hands over his ears* Ugh... that
whining noise!
KK64: *pointing to his banana headphones* Heehee. These came in handy.
Flip: *sweatdrop* Well... Marth
is out, and Pikachu is back. He starts by letting out
a Thundershock to jostle up Ness and
Mike a bit. I'll start as well by tossing in this barrel.
*grabs a barrel and drops it into the arena*
Mike: Hey, a barrel! Like Donkey Kong!
Ness: No duh, Einstein! *PK Fires Mike*
Mike: Ow! *caught in the flames*
Pikachu: CHUUU! *shocks Mike
with an electrifying smash attack*
Mike: This really bites... *dink*
Lemmy: Nobody got the barrel... its going away...
Flip: And Mike actually got
KO'd... I thought he'd stay invincible this match.
Ukyo: *still crying*
KK64: I'll make sure they'll get that barrel! *throws in a Mr. Saturn, who starts
to push the barrel*
Mr. Saturn: BOING! *rolls the barrel across the main platform, right into the sparring
Ness and Pikachu*
Pikachu: PIK-OW!
Ness: Ouch-ey!
Flip: The two are thrown back, and the barrel breaks
open to reveal a Beam Sword and a Ray Gun. The Ray Gun is from Star Tropics, for
those who didn't know. As well as the item appearance, Mike
returns.
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
OUT |
Ness
68% |
Pikachu
35% |
Mike
0% |
Mike: Let's finish this once and for all!
Ness: *jumps and lands on the platform* Okay!
Pikachu: *lands near him* Ka!
Mike: Batter Up! *starts chucking baseballs like crazy*
Ness: PSI Magnet! *absorbs the baseballs*
Pikachu: Ka? (What?) Chu! (Oh!) *does a Quick Attack
right through the two fighters*
Lemmy: Well... the three aren't doing as explosive attacks
as I thought they would be.
Pikachu: KAAAAAA! *Skull Bashes Mike
in the back*
Lemmy: Scratch that. Mike is
sent over the edge and into the water. But... he's not out. He does a massive jump
using his anklet and lands, amazingly, on the other side of the main platform. He's
chucking bolas again now, and he's got Pikachu wrapped
up. He does a wonderfully placed Cleet Stomp and sends Pikachu
straight up into the air. Ness decides to finish
Pikachu off though, and grabs the disappearing Beam
Sword. He smashes as Pikachu falls down, and sends him
flying away... and gone!
| Fighters' Damage Meters!
|
Marth
OUT |
Ness
76% |
Pikachu
OUT |
Mike
112% |
Ness: I can win this one! *whips the Beam Sword at
Mike*
Mike: Ahh! *does an Emergency Evade/Matrix Dodge* That
was close! *dashes and does a sliding tackle into Ness*
Ness: Woah! *rolls over the edge*
Flip: Now Mike has knocked
Ness back, and he's doing a Cleet Stomp to send him flying
into the rock to the left of the laboratory. Ness cracks
his big ol' head, and cries in pain as Mike does an aerial
pendulum kick smash to send him to Davy Jones Locker. Ness
is out! Mike has won!
Ukyo: *bawls her eyes out*
THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... MIKE!
Post-Match:
(in the Party Room)
Reid: *wearing a lampshade* Heh heh.. Heh heh...
Iggy: Get that off your head! We've got a fighter to salute.
Mike: You guys are going to salute me?
Iggy: No, not you! This guy! *points towards a
kid, whom of which was last seen in the match (#71)
when Link left*
Flip: Who's that?
Mike: And why is it not me?
Iggy: This is Link! Can't you
see the resemblance? The Kokiri tunic, the boots, the green hat, the... okay, it
ends there. But can't you see the similarities?
Flip: That looks a lot like some kid posing as
Link... he doesn't even have the Master Sword, no less
a Hylian Shield!
Mike: And what about me?
Iggy: Please please... This is Link.
Let's demonstrate. Link?
Link?: *nods and chucks a Boomerang*
Flip: So? Any kid could have a boomerang!
Link?: *launches an arrow with his bow and pulls out a
bomb*
Flip: Kids these days... they all have bows and bombs.
Link?: *pulls out his smaller sword and does a sword spin
attack*
Flip: Well... that move's on key, but... the sword's
too small.
Iggy: It's Link, face it. Remember
he said he was going to go find himself? He must've found himself, no doubt.
Flip: I doubt that if he found himself, he'd be suddenly
2 feet shorter and using a sword and shield to match.
Iggy: Believe what you want, but the Stadium is identifying
this child as Link. He's Link
in the Stadium's eyes now.
Flip: What if we find out he's not
Link, and the real Link shows
up?
Iggy: Like that would happen... Woah! *gets blown back
by a gust of feathers*
Link: I'm baaack! And look! I found myself! *holds up
an action figure of himself over his head as the "Dun-Dun-Dun-Duuuun" sound plays*
Iggy: Damnit Flip! You ruin
everything!
Flip: *smirks* Looks like we're gonna drop this
kid...
Iggy: But we've already initiated him as a fighter...
Flip: What?
Link: What?
Mike: What... about me?
Iggy: *sighs* When we first found the
kid, we asked, and the head honcho said it was fine
for him to be a fighter, if he was Link or not. I personally
believed him to be Link, but apparently he isn't... Either
way, he would have been a fighter even if he wasn't Link.
Kid: *jumps up and down* Alright!
Link: Hey... that voice... That's me! *points to the
kid*
Iggy: What? We just proved it wasn't you...
Link: No! It's not me-me. It's Young-me! A
Young Link so to speak. I don't know how it happened,
but my younger self is now right here in front of us.
Flip: That's... impossible.
Link: Not for the Hero of Time. He must've swapped places
with me when I traveled back in time to Termina to find myself. I was there when
I was younger... when I was him, actually.
Flip: So you bumped him out, and he took your place
temporarily?
Link: Yes.
Flip: But then he'd be back in Termina right now...
Link: ... he would be, wouldn't he? Well... then I don't
know how this happened. A third person maybe?
Iggy: Well, it may be because Link
traveled back in time and created a temporal rift, which caused a change in the
flow of time. Our time as we knew it was then shifted into some sort of alternate
dimension, or a time limbo even. This change may have allowed the correct properties
so that, when Link disappeared and changed our time,
Young Link was pulled through the time-hole and
took his place. When Link returned, the hole was closed,
not giving this child a chance to return home. Folks, we may have just ruined the
whole universe in a way that we can't even begin to imagine!
Reid: *yawns* Pfft... Quantum Physics is just too damn
confusing... and boring. Let's all just agree that Young
Link got here someway somehow, he's a fighter now, and let's all just forget
about this event taking place, okay?
Link, Young Link,
Flip, Mike: Right!
Iggy: *groans, but then beams a smile towards
Young Link* Welcome to SSS,
Young Link!
Young Link: Thanks!
(later, in Mike's locker room)
Mike: Of course they forgot me... I don't get it. I'm
cool and suave, yet I'm forgotten. Most people mistake me for some weird Capcom
mistake... Oh... well...
Navi: *walks in in her Hylian form* Hello Mike! I see
you're pondering your existance, aren't you?
Mike: Well... yes...
Navi: So, what do you think of SSS so far?
Mike: Crazy. Just plain crazy..
Navi: Crazy... I like it! *leaves*
Mike: Now that just didn't make sense... As did this match.
Let's go to the questions!
1. Will I make a great addition as a fighter to the Stadium?
2. Is Ukyo really a man-hater, or does she just not like Flip?
3. Will Flip's head ever heal?
4. Was the fight cheap, in any way, because I really couldn't find any cheapness
myself...
5. Will Marth ever realize that he's got a huge crowd
of chicks who worship him, even if he is a nervous loser?
6. Did Link "find himself"? I doubt purchasing a little
figurine was all he did...
7. How did Young Link get here? Really...
8. Why was Navi's interview so short? It was only two questions...
Mike: Explain these things so I don't have to, got that?