Match #79

The Question: Who is the stronger Psychic: Ness or Mewtwo?

Fighters for the Old Peach's Castle Arena
Player One Player Two
Ness Mewtwo


GameGuru: Hello and welcome once again to another exciting match here at Super Smash Stadium!

Laugh Track: *cheers*

GameGuru: We've got an interesting match for you today: a battle between psychics! Who has the stronger mind? The young boy from Onett, Ness? Or is it the genetically engineered marvel that is Mewtwo? We'll find out the answer to that today! But first... your commentators!

(a Xatu flies down and perches on the chair next to GG)

Psyko: Konichiwa, GG-san! I was lucky that Flip was feeling lenient enough to let me do this awesome job.

(an arabic boy, dressed in a gui, steps in and sits on GG's other side)

Poo: Hello, GameGuru and oversized totem pole. I am very pleased to be commentating this match, and look forward to the victory of my friend.

GG: Well, don't get your hopes up... Mewtwo has just as great a chance at winning.

Psyko: Totem pole...? *sniffs*

Laugh Track: *laughs*

GG: So, here I am, along with Poo and Psyko.... Your SSS Commentators!

Laugh Track: *cheers*

GG: The match tonight will, again, be between our two psychic fighters here at the Stadium. If you remember, Mewtwo had vowed to fight, and defeat, Ness in a future match after he was added in as a fighter. He was quoted as saying, "It was to be expected that I win... I AM the most powerful Pokémon of all! I actually have a challenge to issue... Ness, I challenge you to a psychic showdown! You have disgrace all the Psychic-type Pokémons' honor by teaching that whiny brat, Ash Ketchum, psychic powers! Prepare to die!"

(tape starts up)

Mewtwo: It was to be expected that I win... I AM the most powerful Pokémon of all! I actually have a challenge to issue... Ness, I challenge you to a psychic showdown! You have disgrace all the Psychic-type Pokémons' honor by teaching that whiny brat, Ash Ketchum, psychic powers! Prepare to die!

(tape ends)

GameGuru: Now, it's finally come to the time when the two will square off in a 3 Stock, Smash Bros. Melee ruled bout on the original Peach's Castle stage. On top of that, the items are set on High, and there is no limitation on which items will appear. So... fellow commentators?

Psyko and Poo: LET'S SMASH!!

Mewtwo: *appears on the arena in a flashy show of lights* It's time to meet your maker, human!

Ness: *appears on the arena in a flash of fire* A heh heh... *scratches his head*

GG: Okay! GO!

Psyko: Mewtwo starts off with a Dark Palm smash, but Ness is too far away to be hit. He does roll out of the way anyways, and appears on the other side of Mewtwo. With a swift One-Two-Three combo, Ness easily gains the upper hand in this match.

Poo: But he has made a fatal flaw: Ness has forgotten that Mewtwo can attack people who are behind him. With a charging Shadow Ball attack in his hands, Mewtwo gives Ness quite the shock. Ness manages to slide away, however, but Mewtwo senses this, and turns around. The psychic-type unleashes the fully charged Shadow Ball onto Ness, sending him up into the air.

GG: Mewtwo easily absorbs the kickback, and runs up to do a Spiralling Void upwards smash that captures our plucky teen hero and sends him right up into the air even further. However, Ness is down but not out. He recovers on top of the sloped platform, and slides down do a Zap Palm aerial attack on Mewtwo. However, the foe is able to stand his ground easily, and doesn't react much to the damage.

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
54%
Mewtwo
23%


Mewtwo: Hahaha! You think that I'll fall prey to your weak attacks, Kakaro- I mean, Ness? Well, have a taste of this! *disappears*

Ness What? How'd he do that? Hmm? *senses his presence* Ya! *does an Around the World sweep*

GG: Woah! Ness sensed the impending danger, and knocked Mewtwo off his feet. Mewtwo teleports again, and Ness this time does an upwards Headbutt smash. Almost instantly, Mewtwo appears and is hit straight into the air. The bumper above the arena is moving, and it hits Mewtwo, racking up even more damage! Mewtwo falls away from Ness, who is dashing towards the edge to catch him. Ness falls off the platform in his attempt, and barely jumps onto the blue, sliding platform on the bottom. That's where Mewtwo was headed!

Psyko: The two go at it on the increasingly smaller platform. Hooks, tail swipes, kicks, palms, and glares are exchanged evenly as the two get in a few cheap shots at one another.

Poo: However, the platform is near gone, and Mewtwo teleports onto the central, bottom platform. Ness's reaction is slower however, and he falls off. Using a borrow PK Thunder, however, he is able to launch himself back up... right into the dreaded cat-beast! Ness recovers valiantly, while Mewtwo is electrocuted and sent flying into the bottom of the left sloped platform. His head slams against the base, and he falls down towards his doom. Mewtwo has just lost a life.

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
78%
Mewtwo
D1


Psyko: And to be a little nicer to the fighters, let's toss in a small prize package... *grabs a capsule and a flipper in each of his talons, and drops both into the arena*

GG: Ness makes short work of the capsule, revealing an ice cream cone that was inside. He gobbles it down greedily, recovering a mere 5%, but it was worth it. Every bit of less damage he has is every bit of less damage he has to endure. Ness also decides to play it safe, and throws the flipper right under the bumper. Smart idea...?

Poo: The one that is Mewtwo returns, and he looks extremely agitated. While still in his invincible state, he drops through the bridge and does a downwards Darkness Palm meteor attack, which knocks Ness into the air. He hits the bumper and then is smacked around in the flipper for a while! His bones must be in extreme risk of breaking!

Mewtwo: *jumps up and does a Thunderbolt attack to shock Ness around*
br> Poo: Oh! His bones do look brittle!

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
99%
Mewtwo
0%


Psyko: Mewtwo has finished shocking young Ness, and is now picking him up with his strong telekinetic powers. With a cry of, "Time to take out the trash!", Mewtwo tosses Ness and lets loose a barrage of small psychic bullets. The majority of them miss, but they're enough to send Ness onto the other side of the right sloped platform. Ness is smart though, and recovers midair, using a PSI Magnet to slow his descent, and eventually grabs a hold of the moving platform's edge. But wait... what's this? He's deliberately letting go? What a fool!

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
D1
Mewtwo
0%


GG: No! Don't you get it? He's sustained a ton of damage, so he's going to kill himself so that he will be fully healed. It's a perfect plan!

Psyko: Whatever you say... But I hope he knows what he's doing...

Poo: Mewtwo scopes out the arena while he awaits for Ness's arrival. He then stands to the side and begins charging another Shadow Ball. When Ness finally appears, the Shadow Ball is released, despite the fact that Ness is temporarily invincible. Still, the attack is tried, and doesn't do anything.

Ness: Heh heh! Looks like you forgot about invincibility after being revived, huh?

Mewtwo: No, I was just too busy with my other plan. Hah! *dashes at Ness and uses Disable to paralyze him for a few moments*

GG: That was quick. Ness didn't see it coming! While he's in a daze, Mewtwo charges another Shadow Ball. Ness wakes up, and Mewtwo unleashes his attack. But what's this? Ness's reaction time is superb! He's able to absorb the attack with PSI Magnet!

Mewtwo: WHAT?! Your psychic abilities are high enough to allow you to absorb energy? What kind of creature are you...?

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
0%
Mewtwo
0%


Psyko: Ness taunts Mewtwo, and sends a PK Fire his way. Mewtwo reflects it with Confusion, and dashes in do use another Disable. However, Ness is quick, and uses his Homerun smash to send Mewtwo packing. Mewtwo hits the sloped platform, and freaks out, dashing madly at Ness ready to attack. He lets loose a slightly charged smash attack, which sends Ness tumbling near the edge of the bridge. Mewtwo persists with his attacks, grabbing Ness right off the edge with a Confusion attack, then flipping him around. He follows with a Disable, followed by another Disable, which sends Ness over the edge. He recovers barely by grabbing onto the moving platform, and uses a PK Thunder body charge to slam into Mewtwo!

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
49%
Mewtwo
71%


GG: Mewtwo flies right into the bumper, and slams into the ground, unconscious temporarily. Ness uses this time to burn him with a PK Fire, and follows with a fully charged PK Flash. Mewtwo is blown into the air, but not down yet! He teleports back to level ground, and grabs a nearby Super Scope, launching a rapid volley of shots at Ness. PSI Magent allows Ness to absorb the first two shots, but the break that occurs whenever he regains health allows the follow shots to get in. Ness is hurting!

Poo: But wait... one of Ness's lives... it has disappeared!

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
80% Stock-1
Mewtwo
118% Stock-2


Paula: *appears in a flash of light, spewing bubbles and stars* That's right! I'm here to help you, Ness! PK ICE! *shoots a small icicle at a confused Mewtwo, freezing him and sending him sky high and offscreen*

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
85%
Mewtwo
D2
Paula
0%


Psyko: Wow! Paula has finally appeared in a match at SSS, and it's to fight alongside noneother than her good friend, Ness! What a partnership!

GG: For those of you who are wondering, Paula's moveset is similar to Ness's, only with weaker physical attacks, and stronger psychic attacks. Her B is PSI Rockin', borrowed from Ness of course; her Forward B is PK Ice, an ice version of PK Fire; her Up B is PK Thunder Omega, and much stronger, longer range version of PK Thunder; and her Down B is PSI Magnet, just like her teammate's. Now, back to the match!

Poo: Paula! Of all people! She KO'd that monster, Mewtwo, but also borrowed one of Ness's lives. Now, all three fighters are one stock each!

GG: Ness recovers from his suffering, and stands aside Paula ready to attack. Mewtwo returns, and looks furious!

Mewtwo: Alright you little rodents, I'm going to teach you a lesson once and for all that you'll never forget! AHYAAAAHHH! *dashes towards them, but suddenly disappears and reappears behind the two, unleashing a deadly fully charged smash attack*

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
107%
Mewtwo
0%
Paula
32%


Psyko: OUCH! Mewtwo's attack sends Ness flying, but it doesn't seem to phase Paula too much. She uses another PK Ice, but Mewtwo teleports behind her, and tries to snag her in his Shadow Ball. But it looks like Paula has a trick up her own sleeve. She quickly executes a trip kick attack, and Mewtwo teleports away, sensing the danger. However, Ness is watching, and throws a PK Flash towards the front of Paula. It explodes, and Mewtwo suddenly appears, and is thrown away in the gigantic explosion!

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
107%
Mewtwo
52%
Paula
32%


Mewtwo: Damn you humans! *teleports back into play, and uses Disable on Ness*

Poo: Mewtwo is trying to finish off the 100%+ damaged Ness, but he doesn't sense Paula's PSI Rockin' attack! She unleashes an orb of energy, not too much unlike PK Flash, that explodes into a burst of sound, damaging, and deafening, Mewtwo! He teleports back however, and grabs Paula, ready to toss her away.

GG: But what's this? Ness readies his bat, and smashes Mewtwo into the sky! He skims the sloped platform, grabs it, and jumps down on the fighters. But watch out! Paula's whipped out her Frying Pan, and wrecks Mewtwo! He's going... going... and... teleports back to the sloped platform... slides down... and... grabs the moving platform on the second level, just in time! Will he ever die?!

Fighters' Damage Meters!
Ness
107%
Mewtwo
142%
Paula
40%


Pskyo: YES! The moving platform moves too fast for Mewtwo to climb up, and soon he's holding nothing at all! He's falling, and can't teleport in time. Mewtwo is defeated! GAME SET!!

THIS GAME'S WINNERS ARE... NESS AND PAULA!!

Post-Match:

(in SSS Fighter Relaxation Room)

Ness: *laying down on the couch with a coldpack on his head* Aw man.. it doesn't help to have such a huge head...

Paula: But it's a cute big head. *adjusts his coldpack*

Ness: *lets out a wry smile* Hey, thanks for helping me back there, Paula. You really saved my life. That guy was a maniac.

Paula: *smiles* It was no problem at all. I'm just glad you're okay, even if you are a little bruised from the fighting.

Ness: Yeah... and I've got a headache from all the psychic power I spent. Ugh...

Navi: *walks into the room, and greets the two* Hello you two! So, how went the match?

Ness: Well, we won. Paula here came in when Mewtwo was really going crazy. He just wouldn't give me a break. She helped me out big time, and was actually the one who finally KO'd him.

Navi: I heard about that. So, Paula, do you like it here at SSS?

Paula: Well, I was taught to never approve of fighting like this, but if it's all in good fun, and no one's really getting hurt too badly, I suppose it's alright. But I'd rather be more of a helper and a healer... not a fighter.

Navi: Good decision. We have enough femme fatales at the site, and it's a welcome relief to know that at least one girl is trying to show "Girl Power" through some means outside of doing exactly what the men she's trying to prove herself to are doing.

Paula: I totally agree. The amount of chauvinism in this world is a bit bad, but some feminist groups are taking it too far.

Ness: ... Who's taking what too far? Did somebody die?

Navi and Paula: *tsk* Men...

(in the Toad Town Sewers)

Mewtwo: *gasping for air* Wretched... Stadium... not sending out... a team to come... get me out of these damned sewers... *closes his eyes and falls into unconsciousness*

(at the SP Lounge)

Flip: *watching Mewtwo on a TV screen* We really got to stop letting him watch Dragonball Z reruns... How long are we gonna keep him down there?

Lemmy: Until we feel like it.

Flip: Which will be...

Reid: Meh...

Lemmy: Meh...

Flip: Oh, okay.

Navi: *drinking her coffee, shaking her head in disgust* Males... Well, anyways, let's get to some questions!

1. Who do you think should have won this Psychic showdown?
2. Was Paula's appearance totally unexepected? Was it cheap?
3. Are feminists really going too far?
4. Should we cut off Mewtwo's access to Dragonball Z?
5. Where was Paula during the rest of this match?
6. Why am I in the SP Lounge if I'm not a SP?

Mr. Saturn: BOING!