Match #79
The Question: Who is the stronger Psychic: Ness
or Mewtwo?
Fighters for the Old Peach's Castle Arena
| Player One |
Player Two |
 |
 |
| Ness |
Mewtwo |
GameGuru: Hello and welcome once again to another exciting match here at
Super Smash Stadium!
Laugh Track: *cheers*
GameGuru: We've got an interesting match for you today: a battle between psychics!
Who has the stronger mind? The young boy from Onett, Ness?
Or is it the genetically engineered marvel that is Mewtwo?
We'll find out the answer to that today! But first... your commentators!
(a Xatu flies down and perches on the chair next to GG)
Psyko: Konichiwa, GG-san! I was lucky that Flip was feeling lenient enough to let
me do this awesome job.
(an arabic boy, dressed in a gui, steps in and sits on GG's other side)
Poo: Hello, GameGuru and oversized totem pole. I am very pleased to be commentating
this match, and look forward to the victory of my friend.
GG: Well, don't get your hopes up... Mewtwo has just
as great a chance at winning.
Psyko: Totem pole...? *sniffs*
Laugh Track: *laughs*
GG: So, here I am, along with Poo and Psyko.... Your SSS Commentators!
Laugh Track: *cheers*
GG: The match tonight will, again, be between our two psychic fighters here at the
Stadium. If you remember, Mewtwo had vowed to fight,
and defeat, Ness in a future match after he was added
in as a fighter. He was quoted as saying, "It was to be expected that I win... I
AM the most powerful Pokémon of all! I actually have a challenge to issue...
Ness, I challenge you to a psychic showdown! You have
disgrace all the Psychic-type Pokémons' honor by teaching that whiny brat,
Ash Ketchum, psychic powers! Prepare to die!"
(tape starts up)
Mewtwo: It was to be expected that I win... I AM the
most powerful Pokémon of all! I actually have a challenge to issue...
Ness, I challenge you to a psychic showdown! You have
disgrace all the Psychic-type Pokémons' honor by teaching that whiny brat,
Ash Ketchum, psychic powers! Prepare to die!
(tape ends)
GameGuru: Now, it's finally come to the time when the two will square off in a 3
Stock, Smash Bros. Melee ruled bout on the original Peach's Castle stage. On top
of that, the items are set on High, and there is no limitation on which items will
appear. So... fellow commentators?
Psyko and Poo: LET'S SMASH!!
Mewtwo: *appears on the arena in a flashy show of lights*
It's time to meet your maker, human!
Ness: *appears on the arena in a flash of fire* A heh
heh... *scratches his head*
GG: Okay! GO!
Psyko: Mewtwo starts off with a Dark Palm smash, but
Ness is too far away to be hit. He does roll out of the
way anyways, and appears on the other side of Mewtwo.
With a swift One-Two-Three combo, Ness easily gains the
upper hand in this match.
Poo: But he has made a fatal flaw: Ness has forgotten
that Mewtwo can attack people who are behind him. With
a charging Shadow Ball attack in his hands, Mewtwo gives
Ness quite the shock. Ness manages
to slide away, however, but Mewtwo senses this, and
turns around. The psychic-type unleashes the fully charged Shadow Ball onto
Ness, sending him up into the air.
GG: Mewtwo easily absorbs the kickback, and runs up
to do a Spiralling Void upwards smash that captures our plucky teen hero and sends
him right up into the air even further. However, Ness
is down but not out. He recovers on top of the sloped platform, and slides down
do a Zap Palm aerial attack on Mewtwo. However, the
foe is able to stand his ground easily, and doesn't react much to the damage.
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
54% |
Mewtwo
23% |
Mewtwo: Hahaha! You think that I'll fall prey to your
weak attacks, Kakaro- I mean, Ness? Well, have a taste
of this! *disappears*
Ness What? How'd he do that? Hmm? *senses his presence*
Ya! *does an Around the World sweep*
GG: Woah! Ness sensed the impending danger, and knocked
Mewtwo off his feet. Mewtwo
teleports again, and Ness this time does an upwards Headbutt
smash. Almost instantly, Mewtwo appears and is hit straight
into the air. The bumper above the arena is moving, and it hits
Mewtwo, racking up even more damage!
Mewtwo falls away from Ness,
who is dashing towards the edge to catch him. Ness falls
off the platform in his attempt, and barely jumps onto the blue, sliding platform
on the bottom. That's where Mewtwo was headed!
Psyko: The two go at it on the increasingly smaller platform. Hooks, tail swipes,
kicks, palms, and glares are exchanged evenly as the two get in a few cheap shots
at one another.
Poo: However, the platform is near gone, and Mewtwo
teleports onto the central, bottom platform. Ness's reaction
is slower however, and he falls off. Using a borrow PK Thunder, however, he is able
to launch himself back up... right into the dreaded cat-beast!
Ness recovers valiantly, while Mewtwo
is electrocuted and sent flying into the bottom of the left sloped platform. His
head slams against the base, and he falls down towards his doom.
Mewtwo has just lost a life.
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
78% |
Mewtwo
D1 |
Psyko: And to be a little nicer to the fighters, let's toss in a small prize package...
*grabs a capsule and a flipper in each of his talons, and drops both into the arena*
GG: Ness makes short work of the capsule, revealing an
ice cream cone that was inside. He gobbles it down greedily, recovering a mere 5%,
but it was worth it. Every bit of less damage he has is every bit of less damage
he has to endure. Ness also decides to play it safe, and
throws the flipper right under the bumper. Smart idea...?
Poo: The one that is Mewtwo returns, and he looks extremely
agitated. While still in his invincible state, he drops through the bridge and does
a downwards Darkness Palm meteor attack, which knocks Ness
into the air. He hits the bumper and then is smacked around in the flipper for a
while! His bones must be in extreme risk of breaking!
Mewtwo: *jumps up and does a Thunderbolt attack to shock
Ness around*
br> Poo: Oh! His bones do look brittle!
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
99% |
Mewtwo
0% |
Psyko: Mewtwo has finished shocking young
Ness, and is now picking him up with his strong telekinetic
powers. With a cry of, "Time to take out the trash!", Mewtwo
tosses Ness and lets loose a barrage of small psychic
bullets. The majority of them miss, but they're enough to send
Ness onto the other side of the right sloped platform.
Ness is smart though, and recovers midair, using a PSI
Magnet to slow his descent, and eventually grabs a hold of the moving platform's
edge. But wait... what's this? He's deliberately letting go? What a fool!
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
D1 |
Mewtwo
0% |
GG: No! Don't you get it? He's sustained a ton of damage, so he's going to kill
himself so that he will be fully healed. It's a perfect plan!
Psyko: Whatever you say... But I hope he knows what he's doing...
Poo: Mewtwo scopes out the arena while he awaits for
Ness's arrival. He then stands to the side and begins
charging another Shadow Ball. When Ness finally appears,
the Shadow Ball is released, despite the fact that Ness
is temporarily invincible. Still, the attack is tried, and doesn't do anything.
Ness: Heh heh! Looks like you forgot about invincibility
after being revived, huh?
Mewtwo: No, I was just too busy with my other plan.
Hah! *dashes at Ness and uses Disable to paralyze him
for a few moments*
GG: That was quick. Ness didn't see it coming! While he's
in a daze, Mewtwo charges another Shadow Ball.
Ness wakes up, and Mewtwo
unleashes his attack. But what's this? Ness's reaction
time is superb! He's able to absorb the attack with PSI Magnet!
Mewtwo: WHAT?! Your psychic abilities are high enough
to allow you to absorb energy? What kind of creature are you...?
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
0% |
Mewtwo
0% |
Psyko: Ness taunts Mewtwo,
and sends a PK Fire his way. Mewtwo reflects it with
Confusion, and dashes in do use another Disable. However, Ness
is quick, and uses his Homerun smash to send Mewtwo
packing. Mewtwo hits the sloped platform, and freaks
out, dashing madly at Ness ready to attack. He lets loose
a slightly charged smash attack, which sends Ness tumbling
near the edge of the bridge. Mewtwo persists with his
attacks, grabbing Ness right off the edge with a Confusion
attack, then flipping him around. He follows with a Disable, followed by another
Disable, which sends Ness over the edge. He recovers barely
by grabbing onto the moving platform, and uses a PK Thunder body charge to slam
into Mewtwo!
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
49% |
Mewtwo
71% |
GG: Mewtwo flies right into the bumper, and slams into
the ground, unconscious temporarily. Ness uses this time
to burn him with a PK Fire, and follows with a fully charged PK Flash.
Mewtwo is blown into the air, but not down yet! He teleports
back to level ground, and grabs a nearby Super Scope, launching a rapid volley of
shots at Ness. PSI Magent allows Ness
to absorb the first two shots, but the break that occurs whenever he regains health
allows the follow shots to get in. Ness is hurting!
Poo: But wait... one of Ness's lives... it has disappeared!
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
80% Stock-1 |
Mewtwo
118% Stock-2 |
Paula: *appears in a flash of light, spewing bubbles
and stars* That's right! I'm here to help you, Ness! PK
ICE! *shoots a small icicle at a confused Mewtwo, freezing
him and sending him sky high and offscreen*
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
85% |
Mewtwo
D2 |
Paula
0% |
Psyko: Wow! Paula has finally appeared in a
match at SSS, and it's to fight alongside noneother than her good friend,
Ness! What a partnership!
GG: For those of you who are wondering, Paula's moveset
is similar to Ness's, only with weaker physical attacks,
and stronger psychic attacks. Her B is PSI Rockin', borrowed from
Ness of course; her Forward B is PK Ice, an ice version
of PK Fire; her Up B is PK Thunder Omega, and much stronger, longer range version
of PK Thunder; and her Down B is PSI Magnet, just like her teammate's. Now, back
to the match!
Poo: Paula! Of all people! She KO'd that monster,
Mewtwo, but also borrowed one of
Ness's lives. Now, all three fighters are one stock each!
GG: Ness recovers from his suffering, and stands aside
Paula ready to attack. Mewtwo
returns, and looks furious!
Mewtwo: Alright you little rodents, I'm going to teach
you a lesson once and for all that you'll never forget! AHYAAAAHHH! *dashes towards
them, but suddenly disappears and reappears behind the two, unleashing a deadly
fully charged smash attack*
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
107% |
Mewtwo
0% |
Paula
32% |
Psyko: OUCH! Mewtwo's attack sends
Ness flying, but it doesn't seem to phase
Paula too much. She uses another PK Ice, but
Mewtwo teleports behind her, and tries to snag her in
his Shadow Ball. But it looks like Paula has a trick
up her own sleeve. She quickly executes a trip kick attack, and
Mewtwo teleports away, sensing the danger. However,
Ness is watching, and throws a PK Flash towards the front
of Paula. It explodes, and Mewtwo
suddenly appears, and is thrown away in the gigantic explosion!
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
107% |
Mewtwo
52% |
Paula
32% |
Mewtwo: Damn you humans! *teleports back into play,
and uses Disable on Ness*
Poo: Mewtwo is trying to finish off the 100%+ damaged
Ness, but he doesn't sense Paula's
PSI Rockin' attack! She unleashes an orb of energy, not too much unlike PK Flash,
that explodes into a burst of sound, damaging, and deafening,
Mewtwo! He teleports back however, and grabs
Paula, ready to toss her away.
GG: But what's this? Ness readies his bat, and smashes
Mewtwo into the sky! He skims the sloped platform, grabs
it, and jumps down on the fighters. But watch out! Paula's
whipped out her Frying Pan, and wrecks Mewtwo! He's
going... going... and... teleports back to the sloped platform... slides down...
and... grabs the moving platform on the second level, just in time! Will he ever
die?!
| Fighters' Damage Meters! |
Ness
107% |
Mewtwo
142% |
Paula
40% |
Pskyo: YES! The moving platform moves too fast for Mewtwo
to climb up, and soon he's holding nothing at all! He's falling, and can't teleport
in time. Mewtwo is defeated! GAME SET!!
THIS GAME'S WINNERS ARE... NESS AND
PAULA!!
Post-Match:
(in SSS Fighter Relaxation Room)
Ness: *laying down on the couch with a coldpack on his
head* Aw man.. it doesn't help to have such a huge head...
Paula: But it's a cute big head. *adjusts his coldpack*
Ness: *lets out a wry smile* Hey, thanks for helping me
back there, Paula. You really saved my life. That guy
was a maniac.
Paula: *smiles* It was no problem at all. I'm just
glad you're okay, even if you are a little bruised from the fighting.
Ness: Yeah... and I've got a headache from all the psychic
power I spent. Ugh...
Navi: *walks into the room, and greets the two* Hello you two! So, how went the
match?
Ness: Well, we won. Paula
here came in when Mewtwo was really going crazy. He
just wouldn't give me a break. She helped me out big time, and was actually the
one who finally KO'd him.
Navi: I heard about that. So, Paula, do you like it
here at SSS?
Paula: Well, I was taught to never approve of fighting
like this, but if it's all in good fun, and no one's really getting hurt too badly,
I suppose it's alright. But I'd rather be more of a helper and a healer... not a
fighter.
Navi: Good decision. We have enough femme fatales at the site, and it's a welcome
relief to know that at least one girl is trying to show "Girl Power" through some
means outside of doing exactly what the men she's trying to prove herself to are
doing.
Paula: I totally agree. The amount of chauvinism in
this world is a bit bad, but some feminist groups are taking it too far.
Ness: ... Who's taking what too far? Did somebody die?
Navi and Paula: *tsk* Men...
(in the Toad Town Sewers)
Mewtwo: *gasping for air* Wretched... Stadium... not
sending out... a team to come... get me out of these damned sewers... *closes his
eyes and falls into unconsciousness*
(at the SP Lounge)
Flip: *watching Mewtwo on a TV screen* We really got
to stop letting him watch Dragonball Z reruns... How long are we gonna keep him
down there?
Lemmy: Until we feel like it.
Flip: Which will be...
Reid: Meh...
Lemmy: Meh...
Flip: Oh, okay.
Navi: *drinking her coffee, shaking her head in disgust* Males... Well, anyways,
let's get to some questions!
1. Who do you think should have won this Psychic showdown?
2. Was Paula's appearance totally unexepected? Was
it cheap?
3. Are feminists really going too far?
4. Should we cut off Mewtwo's access to Dragonball Z?
5. Where was Paula during the rest of this match?
6. Why am I in the SP Lounge if I'm not a SP?
Mr. Saturn: BOING!