The Question: Can the fair princesses beat the ones who've captured
them oh so many times, and what happened to Mario and
Link?!
FIGHTERS FOR TEAM MATCH AT HYRULE TEMPLE:
| Blue Team | Blue Team | Red Team | Red Team | |
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VS |
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| Peach | Zelda | Bowser | Ganondorf |
PRE-MATCH
Digi: Evening SSS!
(crowd cheers)
Digi: Yes, another magical time we like to call a Super Smash Stadium match. Today, in the booth, I am joined by Donkey Kong because apparently Mario and Link were said to be on vacation...they finished first and second respectively in my last hosted match, SSS Old School...
Donkey Kong: But apparently, since they were out, both obviously turned down the offer. I finished third, so he asked me next, and now here we are, and heh, 2 D's in the booth!
Digi: (chuckles) Oh yeah...anyways, as for the background of this match, we did receive a note from Mario and Link coming from an undiclosed location saying to put Peach and Zelda in a 2-on-2 against Bowser and Ganondorf. Apparently, they wanted the girls to take their anger out on them instead.
DK: We all called them up, and they all said yes. My a random draw, we decided Zelda's home turf--that'd be the Hyrule Temple--to be the arena for this 3-life, Mario and Zelda items only match.
Digi: Okay, for those who dunno, those items are... (drumroll) Bob-Ombs, Starmen, Hammers, both kinds of Shrooms and Shells, Freezies, Metal Boxes, Bunny Hoods, and Heart Containers, all on the Very High ratio. We'll see how it'll play into this fight.
DK: Yeah, oughta be a good one. And looks like they're entering the Temple, Dig-meister.
Digi: Indeed. So, from the Super Smash Stadium, we bring to you a match hosted by yours truly, Smash Quester Digifanatic and...
DK: That all-powerful ape, Donkey Kong...
Digi: So, shall we?
Digi and DK: WHO LET THE FIGHTERS OUT? WE DID!
DK: And they're off! Bowser's a bit hesitant but grabs a quick upward smash to Peach as she gets a bit of revenge as Zelda gives Ganondorf a hearty smash!
Digi: Peach gets a hit on both of them fairly quickly as Zelda take a small hit, but gets a quick teleport out of the way. Peach now hit Ganondorf but is grabbed, but Zelda just pounds away at King Koopa and already, he's taking some huge blows and a Din's Fire as his damage is pretty high!
STATS: Peach: 24% Zelda: 5% Bowser: 100% Ganondorf: 54%
DK: Peach uses the old tennis racket trick on Ganondorf but Bowser gets in some quick flames! But Peach, she is quick to reply with a sweeping upward shot!
Digi: Now both damsels are against their standard enemies, as Peach gives Bowser a hit with the Parasol, but Bowser Bombs her right back as Zelda uses a Din's Fire to the dino!
DK: Oh yeah! Zelda continues to hit Bowser with a half-court toss and a roundhouse to Ganondorf! Dorf is the first to fall here!
STATS: Peach: 77% Zelda: 39% Bowser: 200% ND Ganondorf: 0% D1
DK: Bowser makes up some time with a Fire Breath to both girls as Ganondorf returns with that deadly Gerudo Knuckle! Zelda now takes a couple shots on Bowser.
Digi: Already, Peach and Zelda have ganged up on him, but Ganondorf smashes them both as Bowser should be near de--HE TOOK A STARMAN!
DK: Oh, the princesses can't believe that, especially when they could have easily killed them, but Ganondorf is the offensive on now! He grabs Zelda and sends her out of the park.
Digi: And Bowser's Starman power has just about ran out.
STATS: Peach: 132% D0 Zelda: D1 Bowser: 233% D0 Ganondorf: 93% D1
DK: G-Dorf's almost in danger of losing his second life already, but sweeps up Peach, not once but twice, the latter killing her.
Digi: And she's back to the arena as she misses a Warlock Punch, but is that her invicibility thing? I dunno, but she's got that upward sweep thing going! He also seems to be getting Zelda pretty well as it as well...she's taking some high damages.
DK: And it looks like Bowser has finally lost his first life with an upward Smash...oh yeah, you better believe it! And Peach goes for a change of pace, with a Peach Bomber to Ganondorf, which'll take him out!
STATS: Peach: 22% D1 Zelda: 82% D1 Bowser: 20% D1 Ganondorf: 0% D2
Digi: Okay, seems there's a lot of punches and grabs being thrown around, and Zelda loses her second life--can't tell whodunit, though. And a Hammer has fallen at stage right as Zelda comes back to fight again.
DK: There'a a huge quarrel at the Hammer's area as Zelda clears the two villains out for now, and she grabs the hammer while she can! Things don't look good for Bowser and Ganondorf; heck, the latter just lost his last life to Zelda's Hammer and Bowser has lost his second!
Digi: The Hammer's seemed to have worn out now...
STATS: Peach: 36% D1 Zelda: 5% D2 Bowser 45% D2 Ganondorf: OUT
Digi: So now the two mistresses pull some basics on Bowser, but Bowser goes for the Super Mushroom that has fallen, but is immediately attacked by Zelda, which loses the Shroom's effect, as Peach grabs a Metal Box.
DK: Boy, Metal Man won't be happy at that...
Digi: Eh, he doesn't mind...
DK: Okay, Bowser pulls off a big bite and a smash at Peach, who remains alive.
STATS: Peach: 101% D1 Zelda: 71% D2 Bowser: 168% D2
Digi: Bowser uses one of those Bomb/Hip-Drops, as Zelda hangs out towards the bottom...okay, she's looking to come back now.
DK: And the princesses have ganged Bowser up, who still smashes Peach but Peach launches back!
Digi: She's going deep...Bowser is OUTTA THERE!
Digi and DK: THAT'S THE FIGHT!
THIS GAME'S WINNERS ARE...PEACH AND ZELDA!
THE BETTER PLAYER OF THE TEAM IS...PEACH!
Post-match:
DK: Right. Let's get down to the winners. Peach, you and Zelda were looking in as the underdogs, but you two managed to pull it out.
Peach: Well, it was a good match! We thought we'd have a real hard time with Bowser after that first life, but boy, we sure showed those two that girls rule!
Zelda: Oh yeah, you are correct!
DK: Well, quite interesting, and Digi? You there?
Digi: Yeah, I'm with Bowser. Bowser, we've met before but in a different situation. What do you have to say?
Bowser: STUPID SMELL-DA AND POMEGRANITE!
Digi: Well, the outgoing self sure is still there. You still are cool, man...
Bowser: (snorts) Yeah, but Ganondork and I still lost...
Digi: Hey, every once in a while, you get that kind of upset. Well, let's get back to the booth.
(Digi and DK eventually return to the booth after a few minutes)
DK: Well, that was a good match. Now for the qu--
(suddenly, Mario and Link arrive)
Link: BELATED APRIL FOOLS', PUNKS!
Digi: Okay, someone explain to me what's going on, and I never remember a such thing as a belated April Fool.
Mario: I-a can't-a believe that-a Peachy-a and-a Zel-a-da fell-a for a-that!
DK: ...But what does that have to do with the match?
Link: Well, Zelly and I have not necessarily been able to going along and neither have Mario and Peach, so we wanted them to fight the others thinking we'd be on vacation...boy, did they fall for it...and Ganondorf and Bowser won, right in our plans.
(Peach and Zelda appear)
Zelda: A HOAX! I should have known...
Peach: Um, I don't think this is much of a hoax...I think they want to fight us, Zelda.
Mario: So we are-a gonna fight-a them and show-a that-a their last-a fight-a was just a...joke?
Zelda: Oh boy...what have I gotten us into?
Digi: I dunno, but our work here isn't done!
Mario: Rainbow-a Cruise, one-a life, no items, Digi!
DK: Did you get that?
Digi: Yeah, I did. Alright guys, we aren't done with this yet!
Mario and Link
have a score to settle with their honeys, and we're aren't letting them get away
without some coverage!
DK: So, WE'RE LETTING THE FIGHTERS OUT AGAIN!
Digi: One more life!
DK: They all start with some small-range attacks on the ship as the damages are already adding up, as Link gets a nice slice on Peach, but already Zelda's putting Mario out towards the edge at stage left!
STATS: Peach: 40% Zelda: 31% Mario: 53% Link: 57%
Digi: The girls have the small advantage but Mario is wailing on Zelda as Peach gives a Link a taste of her upwards smashing.
DK: But Mario goes Super Jump Punch style on Zelda and misses a grab op, but he smashes he back, not missing with that. Looks like Mario found a Maxim Tomato in there somewhere as well...
Digi: Kind of redemption I like...now Link is bashing his girlfriend and sends her cross-court to stage left!
STATS: Peach: 86% Zelda: 100% Mario: 39% Link: 111%
Digi: The two Legend of Zelda chars aren't looking great as Zelda smashes Link while Mario grabs Peach, both of the hunted not dead yet.
DK: Peach uses the Bomber on Mario as the boat's crashing! Careful everyone!
Digi: Down like the Titanic as Link smashes Zelda up into the stratosphere, way too early for other platforms to come close to appearing! She's out!
DK: And wow! Peach has no safe place to land! She tries Parasoling to hope the other are hit by a Bob-Omb or something, but to no avail! Miyamoto's Heroes win again!
Digi and DK: THAT'S THE FIGHT!
THIS GAME'S WINNERS ARE...MARIO AND LINK!
THE BETTER PLAYER OF THE TEAM IS...MARIO!
DK: Is it me, or do the Mario characters and Link always seem to do well in matches you host?
Digi: I've never noticed that...(flashbacks) but now I do...strange things, I say.
(Link appears)
Link: WHOO! WAY TO SHOW THE WOMEN WHO'S BOSS! Oh, right...must control sanity in commentary booth.
Digi: Dang right.
Link: But I daresay, we ruled that one!
(Link leaves)
DK: That was odd. Now for the questions...(waits for something
else to pop up), okay, good.
1) Did Peach and Zelda deserve to lose that fight
after beating Bowser and
Ganondorf?
Digi: 2) Did Bowser and Ganondorf deserve to lose their match?
DK: 3) Will the girls get their revenge sometime?
Digi: 4) Should the fighters have grabbed items more than they did?
DK: And 5) How does a 6-fighter all-out match sound?
Digi: Pretty good to me, actually. But our time for the night is gone! On behalf on the fighters in the match and my guest Donkey Kong, I'm Digifanatic for SSS, we're outta here!
Digi's Note #1: Thanks to Marioprince and Milo Reed for coming up with the fight pairings. The idea to combine both of them together in a single shot was mine.
Digi's Note #2: Unlike standard played-out-on-Cube matches, where all the fighters are comps set up on level 9, I put Bowser and Ganondorf on 7 with Peach and Zelda on 9 as normal to give them a better chance on winning to make the match seem more "fitting" in the plot.
Editor's Note: DK was given a severe amount of "speech therapy" before the beginning of this match. It wore off soon after.