The Question: Which Mario Brother is better? AGAIN?
FIGHTERS FOR STOCK MATCH AT FINAL DESTINATION
| Mario | Luigi |
| |
Ash: Hello and welcome to another exciting edition of Super Smash Stadium! Today, the higher-ups ran out of ideas!
Samus: Which means we’re going to be seeing a somewhat familiar match.
Link: One that we’ve only done a billion times before…
Ash: Mario versus Luigi!
Crowd: Boooooo!
Ash: Come on! It’ll be great!
Samus: Yes, it will. This time, I guarantee the unexpected.
Link: Do you know something I don’t?
Samus: I know a lot of things you don’t.
Link: (grumble) I mean about this match…
Samus: I’m sorry, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy.
Ash: Aww… Tell us, please?
Samus: No.
Ash: Please?
Samus: No.
Ash: Please?
Samus: Don’t make me hurt you.
Link: All right then, so what are the rules for today’s match?
Ash: Well, the brothers wanted a perfectly fair fight, so it’s Final Destination, no items, and three lives each.
Samus: We should get the camera in there before the fight; see what the fighters are saying.
Ash: All right them, camera guy! Zoom in!
Mario: This is a-getting annoying, Luigi. Why can’t you a-just accept that I’m the better brother?
Luigi: Because you’re a-not!
Mario: I’ve a-saved the day more a-times than a-you can count. I’ve a-trounced Bowser over and over. I a-do better than a-you in Kart races, golf, and a-tennis. I’ve a-got a Ph. D!
Luigi: You’ve a-got a Ph. D?
Mario: Well, um, you a-see… What are a-your credentials?
Luigi: I a-know Kung Fu!
Mario: No, you a-don’t.
Luigi: Karate?
Mario: A-no.
Luigi: Judo?
Mario: A-still no.
Luigi: I a-have a mansion.
Mario: Yes, you a-do, but I a-have cake.
Luigi: But I like a-cake…
Ash: (over microphone) Umm, guys, the match is about to start.
Mario: Don’t a-worry!
Luigi: We’re a-ready!
Ash: (over microphone) All right then.
Ash: So once again, welcome to today’s edition of the SSS. I’m your host, Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. My first co-commentator today is the galaxy famous, pirate fighting, stunningly beautiful Bounty Huntress… Samus Aran!
Samus: Thanks, Ash, but I think you’re a bit young for me. (Pats him on the head)
Ash: Hey, watch the hat… And for my second co-commentator, a man who needs no introduction… … …
Link: Umm, Ash? Is that it?
Ash: Yeah, I just said, you need no introduction.
Link: Oh… Well… Okay.
Ash: Anyway, the brothers wanted a straight fight, so we’re doing a three stock, final destination, no item match.
Link: You said that already.
Ash: Oh, sorry…
Samus: Shall we initiate countdown, then?
Ash: Sure!
Samus: Five.
Ash: Four.
Link: Three.
Samus: Two.
Ash: One.
Link: ATTACK!
| M0 L0 |
Ash: And the match is on! Mario’s running to Luigi, who’s just sort of stepping back and forth.
Samus: Mario goes for the running slide…
Link: And Luigi… moonwalks…?
Samus: Thrusting his hand into Mario as he does.
Ash: Mario falls back a bit, but comes back with a few fireballs.
Link: Luigi is burnt a bit, but that’s not stopping him. He hops towards Mario and slams him in the face with a chop!
Samus: Maybe he does know karate…
Ash: Mario falls again, but presses the attack once more.
Link: Luigi leaps after him....
Samus: And Mario whips him around with the cape before kicking him away!
| M22 L18 |
Ash: The two move towards each other again...
Link: Looks like Luigi’s going for the charge...
Samus: Mario swings, but Luigi glides back a few inches!
Ash: How’s he doing that…?
Link: Luigi ducks into a Green Missile and fires into Mario…
Samus: But a swing of the cape sends him the other way.
Ash: Mario takes the moment of recovery to give Luigi a quick kick!
Link: But Luigi grabs and tosses Mario aside!
Samus: Mario easily catches the edge and leaps back up, attempting a Plunger Fist attack on Luigi.
Ash: But Luigi slides back again… How’s he DOING that?
Link: I’m not sure, but he’s shooting forward and hopped an inch, chopping at Mario’s head!
| M41 L22 |
Samus: Mario’s slammed over the edge… that looks like it hurt.
Ash: He barely manages to make it back up, kicking at Luigi as he comes back from the edge.
Link: Luigi’s hit in the face and sent staggering back.
Samus: Mario hops over him, attempting to kick Luigi in the back of the head, but the green plumber rolls to safety.
Ash: Mario and Luigi are back at the edges of the arena, Mario on the right and Luigi on the left, staring each other down.
Link: The two are leaping at each other, tossing fireballs as they go…
Samus: At the height of the jump, Mario slams Luigi down with a plunger attack!
Ash: And he drops down onto him with a drill kick!
Link: Luigi rolls to his feet, kicking Mario aside as he gets back up.
Samus: Mario hops back to Luigi, aiming for an aerial kick.
Ash: But Luigi does that slide thingy…
Link: And then a one-two punch to his brother!
Samus: Mario grabs Luigi and swings him around, tossing him back towards the edge.
Ash: Luigi rockets back onto the platform quickly, landing at the edge.
Link: Mario dAshes towards him, fists ready.
Samus: Luigi rolls around him when he comes!
Ash: Luigi hops and chops.
Link: Mario’s sent flying off the platform and he’s out!
| M0 D1 L63 D0 |
Samus: Luigi takes a moment to slide back and forth while waiting for Mario’s return…
Ash: The fans love it!
Link: Looks like Mario’s back, and he’s none too happy.
Samus: He dAshes towards Luigi…
Ash: Luigi slides back!
Link: But Mario catches him with some fireballs!
Samus: Looks like red’s catching on…
Ash: I am?
Samus: I meant Mario…
Ash: Oh.
Link: Luigi steps at him and gets him with a quick kick....
Samus: Mario stumbles back, then steps forward and grabs him!
Ash: A twirl and a toss sends Luigi to the edge!
Link: Mario runs after him, tossing fireballs!
Samus: Luigi leaps up over them…
Ash: And Mario leaps to meet him!
Link: Luigi goes for the chop, and Mario’s slammed down!
Samus: Mario shakes himself off as he gets up, then walks over towards Luigi.
Ash: Luigi goes for a kick, but Mario rolls behind him!
Link: He grabs Luigi and tosses his brother off the edge.
Samus: Luigi starts leaping back…
Ash: And Mario jumps off after him!
Link: Then Mario leaps up and grabs the edge…
Samus: Luigi uses his missile attack to get to the stage…
Ash: Super Jump Punch...
Link: But Mario twists to avoid being hit while denying Luigi the edge!
Samus: And down he goes…
| M16 D1 L0 D1 |
Ash: That was a bit cheap…
Link: It’s legal.
Ash: Yeah, but cheap…
Link: I’ve seen some of your Pokemon battles, Ketchum.
Ash: …I’ll shut up now.
Link: Good call… Luigi’s back!
Samus: The plumbers are heading to the edges of the arena…
Ash: They’re staring each other down…
Link: Luigi dAshes, or rather… slides forward.
Samus: And Mario waits for him…
Ash: Looks like Mario’s tossing some fireballs!
Link: Luigi hops over them and goes to kick at Mario’s head!
Samus: Mario’s hit, but only goes back a bit…
Ash: He drops into a tornado and punches Luigi away!
Link: Luigi retorts by tossing fireballs at Mario!
Samus: But the cape keeps them away!
Ash: So Luigi dAshes in and grabs Mario, tossing him off the edge!
Link: Mario makes it back with a Super Jump Punch!
Samus: Luigi slides back a bit.
Ash: Mario steps forward and swings at him.
Link: Luigi twists to dodge, then goes to grab Mario…
Samus: Who dodges in response and swings his cape, twirling Luigi around!
Ash: Mario sends a kick to Luigi’s back…
Link: And Luigi stumbles forward with it!
| M39 D1 L24 D1 |
Samus: Luigi turns around and starts throwing Fireballs at Mario…
Ash: Mario leaps up over them and punches Luigi in the skull!
Link: Luigi staggers a bit but manages to grab Mario and toss him up.
Samus: Luigi leaps up after him…
Ash: Mario goes for the drill kick…
Link: Luigi midair dodges, and they both fall…
Samus: And Ooh! Dragon uppercut!
Ash: That looks really painful…
Link: It is… Trust me on this one…
Samus: Mario lands with a drill kick, getting a few shots on his brother’s head…
Ash: Luigi grabs him when he lands and tosses him backwards…
Link: Mario’s off the right edge, but manages to catch it quickly and get back on…
Samus: But Luigi’s there to meet him!
Ash: Mario kicks up at him!
Link: But Luigi slides back from the kick…
Samus: And then slides in to grab and toss Mario off the edge again!
Ash: But this time, Luigi jumps down after him…
Link: A chop slams into Mario’s head…
Samus: And Mario is sent away…
Ash: Super Jump Punch… But he isn’t close enough…
| M0 D2 L44 D1 |
Link: Luigi dances around a bit…
Samus: And wait for it… wait for it…
Ash: Wait for what?
Samus: Mario…
Ash: Oh… Right…
Link: And here comes Mario!
Samus: He’s charging straight at Luigi…
Ash: Wow, he looks angry all right…
Link: Luigi dodges and grabs him out of the charge!
Samus: And he slams Mario into the floor!
Ash: Mario rolls aside and runs at him again, tossing fireballs… Link: Luigi twists to dodge a fireball…
Samus: Which leaves him open for Mario to grab him.
Ash: Mario launches him up, then catches him with a Super Jump Punch!
Link: Luigi drops into him with a screwdriver kick, getting off the full twist…
Samus: Mario kicks him aside as he stands.
Ash: Luigi tosses a few fireballs…
Link: One of them catches Mario, but he dodges the rest…
Samus: Mario hops over at Luigi...
Ash: Luigi uses a Super Jump Punch on him!
Link: Not that it hurts… Samus: No, but it’s thrown him off balance…
Ash: He catches himself quickly, though, and lands beside Luigi…
| M29 D2 L60 D1 |
Link: Both swing at the other, fists clAshing harmlessly…
Samus: They’re punching and kicking wildly…
Ash: Looks like Luigi’s finally landed a hit…
Link: But they’re still going at it...
Samus: They’re actually getting hurt now, though…
Ash: A good blow from Mario sends Luigi away from him…
Link: The two shake themselves off a bit…
Samus: Mario leaps up and over Luigi!
Ash: And off the edge?
Link: He leaps back with super jump punch and grabs it…
Samus: Luigi steps to the edge to wait for him…
Ash: Mario leaps up…
Link: Luigi slides back…
Samus: And Mario goes over Luigi, slamming him in the back with a dropkick!
Ash: Luigi gets up and hits Mario away…
Link: Mario hops over to him again…
Samus: Luigi grabs Mario and tosses him backwards…
Ash: Mario easily grabs the edge and pulls himself back on…
Link: Luigi steps up to him and swings…
Samus: Mario dodges, then grabs him!
Ash: Headbutt and twirling… Twirling…
Link: And Luigi is out of the arena!
| M57 D2 L0 D2 |
Samus: Mario’s doing a bit of showboating while he waits…
Ash: Tossing fireballs off the edge…
Link: Break dancing…
Samus: Getting sucker punched by his brother while he’s busy taunting…
| M65 D2 L0 D2 |
Ash: Mario stumbles forward, then turns around and kicks Luigi!
Link: Luigi drops and sweeps out Mario’s legs!
Samus: And Mario kicks Luigi aside as he stands…
Ash: Luigi hops at Mario and chops him in the face…
Link: And Mario hops back at him, getting him with another dropkick…
Samus: Luigi grabs Mario quickly and tosses him straight up…
Ash: Mario comes down trying a drill kick…
Link: But Luigi dodges and…
Luigi: SHORYUKEN!
Samus: Ouch…
Ash: Pain…
Link: Burning death…
Samus: And Dragon Uppercut finishes off Mario…
| M(OUT) L21 D2 |
Judges: This game’s winner is… Luigi!
Ash: The two are going to the lounge… So lets check on them…
Link: I’ll do it… Mario’s my friend, after all…
Luigi: I’ve a-beaten you, Mario! Admit that I’m the a-better brother!
Mario: …All a-right… You’re the a-better brother…
Luigi: I a-knew you’d say that! You’re so a-stubborn! … Wait… what did you a-say?
Mario: I said you’re the a-better brother… If it a-means that much to you… I a-really don’t care…
Luigi: But you a-said…
Mario: I’m a-through arguing with a-you… If you want to a-say you’re the best, then a-say you’re the best… You beat a-me fair and square…
Luigi: …Thanks…
Mario: So how’d a-you learn all that fancy foot-a-work?
Luigi: I’ve been a-training with Samus... For a small a-fee…
Mario: Would you mind a-teaching me some of those a-moves?
Luigi: I’d be a-glad to…
Link: Good to see you two finally getting along.
Luigi: It’s a-good to get along again…
Link: The both of you look pooped… How about we go get something to eat? …On me.
Mario: I’m a-game.
Luigi: Let’s a-go!
Link: So, how about you two fight a tag match together some time?
Luigi: But Mario’s a-your partner…
Mario: You sure you a-wouldn’t mind?
Link: Not at all, Mario… Besides, there’s a newbie here who could probably use my guidance…
Luigi: All a-right!
Link: Lets get going to some nice Italian food, then…
Mario: Olive Garden?
Link: Do I look like I’m made of rupees? We’re going to Papa John’s.
Mario: Good enough…
Ash: And now, for your regular allotment of stupid questions…
