Match #162

The Question: Who out of the second batch of this season's winners is qualified to compete for the title "King of the Stadium"?

The Fighters for Battlefield
Sonic Snake
ROB Mewtwo
Stock: 1 life
Items: Low

Metal Man: So for this part of the tournament, we have the best fighters! All the other ones suck!

Captain Falcon: Hey!

Metal Man: Er, just kidding!

Light Bear: This outta be interesting an interesting fight next round for the battle for the King!

Metal Man: So now, without adieu, here is... wait, that's not SIMBER!

Light Bear: SIMBER...? Oh, right, your usual commentator. Uh, I'm Light Bear. You know, the new guy? ...I'm the one who made all those suggestions?

Metal Man: Oh, right... Er, anyway, here we go!

Light Bear: Our fighters are poppin' in! Here's Sonic bouncing up never figured out how he does that and ROB falling to pieces. Or, uh, pieces falling into ROB.

Metal Man: Mewtwo breaks through a stasis tube of some type. Hey Mewtwo! What'dya think of the time when I set a couch on fire?

Mewtwo: *Telekinesis* I'm not from that dimension, fool.

Metal Man: Yeesh. So cold. Anyway... there's Snake with his camo-thingy. I should really get one of those thingies!

Light Bear: Fox lands his Arwing on the side of the stage. Ooh, hey, that's the Battlefield Theme playing in the background, isn't it?

Metal Man: The fight begins with Fox hurling himself at Sonic, and Sonic hurling himself at Fox. It's a regular anthropomorphic character deathmatch out there!

Light Bear: Solid Snake rolls the heck outta that fight! Mewtwo drops down to shock the Robot but oh! Sonic has taken the fight to Snake with some fisticuff action. And look! Fox is blasting through the other two with a Fire Fox! Heh heh, Firefox.

Metal Man: Right, right. Also, ROB's out to burn some space coyote flesh with his flamin' thrusters of violent doom! ...And Mewtwo's got a Shadow ball.

Light Bear: Snake uses some good ol' CQC to get Sonic outta the way, then he...shoots at him with his RPG-7? Yeesh, that's a bit lethal.

Stadium Corn Dogs are NOT approved for plugging leaks in tires!

Light Bear: No dice with that Shadow Ball Fox has reflected it right back at 'im.

Metal Man: Boooing! There goes Sonic, up into the air... kicking Mewtwo and ROB. It's almost tragic, because I wish all of them could win.

Light Bear: Hey, an item! It's a Smoke Ball!...but ROB throws it away from the stage. What a waste. That smash attack of his has to hurt Sonic, though.

Metal Man: ...But not Fox. I don't really like him much. So it's good that Snake just shot Fox in the face with his Nikita missile! Oh, wait, Fox just used his reflector right back at Snake. Boo! Booooooo!

Light Bear: The Tactical Espionage Expert doesn't fly far, though, and he gets back in there for an offensive somersault on Sonic!

Metal Man: There goes Mewtwo, throwing inanimate objects, er, ROB, around. The robot survives, and then Sonic punches Mewtwo, only to be Disabled by Mewtwo. Then Sonic becomes a spiky projectile thrown by the psychic cat back at ROB. The robot goes towards heaven again, but is denied by the surly bonds of gravity!

Light Bear: Fox kicks Snake away from him and hits Mewtwo with ANOTHER Reflector Spike. Yeesh, Fox is using that Reflector-Spike thing a lot. Good thing for Mewtwo that it wasn't enough for the knock-out.

WANTED: One Heinous Hedgehog. A Massive ring reward to whoever catches and, er, disposes of him. -Dr. Robotnik

Metal Man: Mewtwo's warping into position. Fox is hit by Sonic's drop kick. Then... then... ... Mewtwo flies at ROB and gets knocked back anyway. Bah!

Light Bear: Snake hurls a Frag Grenade at ROB, but ROB dodges quickly and it instead sends Sonic and Fox flying!

Metal Man: Oh no. Fox is trying to knock out Sonic. Boooo!!!

Light Bear: Looks like that Shine Spike trick of his was his downfall he missed and wasn't able to recover before he got knocked out!

Metal Man: Yeaahhhhh! Take that! No more Fox!

Light Bear: Aren't we supposed to be impartial commentators? Anyway, Snake's... choking ROB? How does that work? And for that matter, how could it knock him out, if Snake can just lay him on the floor? No matter, Snake's blown him away with another RPG blast!

Metal Man: Bah. That's how I always am. Every battle has the cooler side, and if that side doesn't win... I get mad. ...Oops. I should really pay more attention, I think I saw Mewtwo land at the top of the Battlefield and... sneak behind Snake...

Light Bear: Ha ha! Snake's too smart for his trick to be used against him! A cleverly-placed landmine ensures that Snake's would-be attacker is instead flyin' away... and...?!

Metal Man: Snake just sent Mewtwo off to meet The End. Wonder what ROB and Sonic are gonna do, now that they've recovered from their side-foibles...

Behold, the wonder Tuba! Part Tuba, part food processor, part vacuum, it serves ALL your noise-making needs!

Metal Man: ...I crave more explosions! Here, take this crate! *Hurls one into the arena*

Light Bear: Nice one! It's landed right by Sonic's feet!

Metal Man: Sonic goes to get my crate of ultimate victory, but ROB's arm rotors are in the way... then they both attack Snake. Heh heh heh. Little did they know that I put WHEELS on my crate!

Light Bear: Huh?...oh, it's a Rolling Crate! It's charging right at Sonic! But the Blue Blur is too fast for a measly crate to take him out, and it wizzes past the dodgy 'hog.

Metal Man: Snake should know better than to fire robotic rockets at Robotic Operating Buddies. That thing got reflected, old school.

Light Bear: Snake rushes in with a pack of C4, and yes, he's stick it on ROB's face! How cool! ...though he did leave himself open to Sonic socking him a good one.

Metal Man: Aw man! Planting C4 on the face. I wish I had done that more myself. Now I'm going to have to spend my next paycheck on some of those...

Light Bear: It's a good punch Snake's sent out a good distance. Looks like ROB's flying over and... he's meteor-smashed him down for assurance that he won't be returning!

Metal Man: Snake's gonna die... OOH! He pushed that button just in time! There goes my favorite toy robot! ...But at least it wasn't Fox who won.

Light Bear: Hmm. This leaves the victor of this round, and one of our finalists for Super Smash Stadium's King of the Stadium II.


THE WINNER IS... "Too easy! Piece of cake!" SONIC!

Metal Man: So, while Light Bear is momentarily distracted, I'm going to interview everyone. All of the interviews will be MINE! Bwa ha ha haaa! *Walks up to the losers.* What's it like to lose? Does it taste vaguely of Old Navy T-shirts?

Mewtwo: ... *Makes an expression of disgust and floats away slowly.*

Metal Man: Aw man, tough crowd. How about you, Snake?

Snake: You know, there's a bounty on your head.

Metal Man: Ah yes, I do.

Snake: It's worth millions of dollars.

Metal Man: And?

Snake: You literally went through time and destroyed your own homeworld. A loss in this tournament is nothing compared to your blatant disregard for innocent lives. *Lights up a cigarette*

Metal Man: So... not a fan of my ethics, huh? Well, whatever. What about you, RO--

ROB: *Punches Metal Man in the face*

Metal Man: OW! What was that for?

ROB: I am the most superior robot out there. You dared to call me 'toy.' I will destroy you just like that other nerd who dared to insult me if you do that again.

Metal Man: All right! All right! I'll let you be! Sheesh. I'm almost afraid to speak to Fox...

Fox: What's the matter, cat got your tongue?

Metal Man: Shouldn't you be insulting me? Or hitting me with something? I mean, I did express how much I don't like you as a fighter... on the air!

Fox: I spend my free time blasting entire armies of heartless Andross drones out of the sky. The opinion of some insane bounty hunter doesn't even register to me.

Metal Man: Oh.... uh... so, what was losing like?

Fox: Just like it is in the Arwing--painful, exploding death. Only simulated. Thankfully. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to save Katarina from some flying homicidal jellyfish.

Metal Man: O...kay then! Now for the winner! Let's talk to... Sonic!

Sonic: *Spinning on his head and doing tricks before standing up to face Metal* About time you got here! You're as slow as Eggman's mail service!

Metal Man: Of course I am. Slowness is a virtue for me. I have to savor the moment, before beating people senseless with burning tire irons.

Sonic: So, are you going to interview me, or are we going to have to listen to your ridiculous dialogue until I fall asleep?

Metal Man: Okay, okay, I'll get down to business. Question one--what did you think of your opponents?

Sonic: They were kind of neat, actually. A robot not made by Eggman, some sort of GUN agent wannabe, a psychic cat, and a space fighter pilot? Not very often you get to fight those kind of people, let alone meet them.

Metal Man: And... what do you think about your chances of winning the tournament?

Sonic: I'll take it as it comes, but I'm going to give it all. Not going to let anyone get in my way... although I won't cheat, I promise. That'd just make me as bad as Eggman!

Metal Man: Well then, with that, I conclude this match. Until next time... this has been Metal Man and Sonic... er, and Light Bear! Yeah!

Sonic: Sheesh, and I thought I left people in the dust...

Metal Man: Anyway, here's the next match... NOT! Gotta wait another week, fans!

*A few minutes later*

Metal Man: Here it is, everybody!

Sonic: That wasn't a week! Are you messing with time?

Metal Man: Ask your younger self that, why don't you.

Sonic: ...Touche.

Match events by Light Bear
Light Bear's commentary by Al Gore Light Bear
Metal Man's commentary by Metal
HTML and site stuff by Metal
Special Thanks to Yesman, Dark Ermac, Pat V, Digifanatic, GameGuru, Saiyaman, and Wolfman2000