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| Player 1 | Player 2 |
Background:
Note: Portions of this production will be edited to
give it a PG rating. Foul material will be bleeped out and replaced with a less
vulgar form of the word. Thank you and enjoy the match.
Lugia: Hello people! As you might know from the April's Fools match (the real one, not the Pokémon battle), VGW will battle Powers. However, VGW needs training, so he chose his coaches wisely. The first coach is...Me!
(Crowd cheers)
Lugia: But, VGW wanted a second coach, so he chose... Killer!
(Crowd cheers)
Killer: Thank you! I know I'm the best!
Lugia: Umm...
Killer: Here we are at the stadium! We will have coverage of VGW's training, so, let's meet VGW!
VGW: Hey guys! When do we start?
Killer: How much will you pay me?
Lugia: Killer, you agreed to train VGW FREE!
Killer: I WHAT?!?! I was tired... I needed some sleep... oh well....
VGW: Hey! Can we start?
Lugia: Ok. VGW, in order to beat Powers you need to be quick. Show us your speed by running the mile!
Killer: Good idea! This will take time, so, let's order some pizza, shall we?
VGW: I'll show you, Powers is a turtle. I'll run the mile!
Lemmy: HEY! I'm a turtle, too!
Killer: You aren't here... (Throws Lemmy out the window)
VGW: What window? We're outside...
Killer: (shrugs)
Lugia: 3... 2... 1.... go!
VGW: (starts running)
Killer: Lugia...
Lugia: What?
Killer: Isn't he supposed to do his warm-ups first?
Lugia: Hh oh..... He's running already. Let him run anyway.
Killer: OK.
(Two hours later...)
Killer: What the **** (underworld)! When will he finish?
Lugia: Zzzzzzz....
Killer: Wake up you ******* (rectum)! I can't stand this anymore!
Lugia: (Yawns) Here he comes!
VGW: Pant... pant... I think I lost him!
Lugia: Lost who?
VGW: Oh no! He's here! (Points at a huge German shepherd)
Killer: You spent two hours running away from that?
Dog: Arf! Grrrrr... (Runs after VGW)
VGW: Lugia! Killer! Do something!
Lugia: (Drinking some Sprite) Why should we? It's your training! Get rid of that dog yourself!
Killer: Hey! Can I have a Sprite?
Lugia: Sure! (Hands Killer a Sprite)
Killer: Thanks. (Starts to sip it)
VGW: (Running away from the German Shepherd) OK! I will trash him!
Lugia: That's the Sprite! Err... Spirit!
Killer: Use VG Punch!
VGW: OK! VG... PUNCH! (Dog is hit and knocked away.)
Lugia & Killer: Yeah!
VGW: Pant... pant.... you guys need to be a little nicer! OK?
Killer: Nice is weak! The answer is no!
Lugia: Good quote.... but I think that VGW's right.
Killer: Darn.
VGW: What's the next test?
Lugia: (Grins) Do you see that? (Points at a pokéball)
VGW: Yeah...
Killer: Lugia! You can't be serious... He'll get creamed.
Lugia: Yes I am. VGW, you will wrestle with Cupcake.
VGW: Sounds easy enough... OK. Send "Cupcake" out!
Killer: You will regret this VGW!
Lugia: (Throws pokeball) Go.... Cupcake!!
Cupcake: Champ! Machamp! (VGW, prepare to wrestle!)
VGW: What the **** (underworld) king of name for a Machamp is CUPCAKE?!?!?! I expected a Pikachu or something like that!
Killer: Just stop babbling and go to the ring.
VGW: (mumbling) Sheesh...
Cupcake: Champ, machamp! (Start, loser!)
Lugia: Cupcake! Body Slam!
Killer: VGW! Move before you... (Cupcake jumps on VGW)
VGW: AAAAAHHH!
Killer: Ooh.... that's gonna leave a mark...
Lugia: Cupcake, get off VGW!
Cupcake: Champ... (Wimp...)
Killer: HA!
Lugia: VGW, are you ok? VGW? Where are you?
VGW: Efflifo flofeer.
Lugia: Uh?
Killer: I think he said, "Right here."
VGW: Eefia!
Lugia: What?
Killer: "Yes."
Lugia: What happened to VGW?!?!?!
VGW: Efliffloo floo florrr fy feet!
Lugia: What happened to your feet?
VGW: Fy feet!
Killer: He said, "Cupcake broke my teeth!"
Lugia: Oh... I'll fix that. (Uses Psychic on VGW, Psychic fixes his teeth.)
VGW: AH! Much better!
Lugia: VGW...
VGW: What?
Lugia: Nothing... Killer, what's the next test?
Killer: Bench press!
VGW: NO!!!!! Anything but bench press!
Killer: Oh yes, you will go!
VGW: (Steps away from Killer) No I won't!
Killer: Yes you will! LEHUM! (Eggifies VGW. Then, carries the egg with VGW to the weight room.)
VGW: (inside the egg) NO!!
(in the wait room)
Killer: (breaks egg) Start bench-pressing now! Here, take this. (Hands VGW a 1-pound weight)
Lugia: ONE pound?
Killer: That's all he can do....
Lugia: (Silence)
VGW: OK! I'll start counting! One... (Tries to lift the weight) Pant... too heavy...
Lugia: !!!!! Let me show you some bench pressing.
Killer: I'll get the weights!
Lugia: Ok.
Killer: Here! (Hands Lugia a 10,000 lbs. Weight)
Lugia: Killer, how did you lift this?
Killer: It's not THAT heavy... I've lifted Bowser for crying out loud...
Lugia: (Lifts weight with ease)
VGW: Whoa!!!!!! Can I try?
Lugia: Okay.
VGW: (Lifts the weight)
Killer: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!?!
VGW: I don't know! I just know I'm lifting 10,000 lbs.!!
Killer: OK! Enough training! You are ready to fight Powers!
Lugia: Yeah.
VGW: OK, thanks guys!
Lugia: No problem!
The Question: Who must leave the Super Smash Stadium...for good?
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| Player 1 | Player 2 |
Background:
Iggy: Well, that's what's happened so far.
Lemmy: Lugia and Killer trained VGW... I hope he can win.
Iggy: Yeah, but if he does win, what happens to the SSS without a president?
Lemmy: It's the old saying, "Darned if you do; darned if you don't."
Iggy: Isn't that da...
Lemmy: (Cutting in) NO! We can't say that on this channel!
Iggy: Why? Are we on PBS or something? They say that word all the time on most channels...
Lemmy: Maybe...
Iggy: Anyway, today we're going to watch an epic match-up!
Lemmy: It will be a great battle!
Pat: And not only that...
Lugia: But all four of us are commentating!
Lemmy: We are?
Iggy: Who invited you two?
Pat: (Hits Lemmy with a trout)
Lemmy: Ow... okay. You can stay.
Lugia: Today's match will be VGW vs. Powers in the first ever "I Quit Match".
Lemmy: If this goes over well, maybe someone can challenge Kirbetty to one...
Pat: Or how about Megaman?
Iggy: Be quiet, you two! We need to start!
Lugia: First, let's see who's come to this fight. And besides, the fighters aren't here yet.
Lemmy: Very well...
Pat: The crowd is full. All the fighters and their families have shown up.
Lemmy: My knight, Sir Tomintul, has gotten himself a seat next to Wendy.
Iggy: Poor, poor Tomintul...
Pat: Goshi is sitting next to the yoshies in the seats.
Lemmy: Hey, look! Dan Moron is here!
Lugia: Even Ho-oh has come to see the match!
Pat: Everyone's there but the fighters!
Lemmy: Look, up in the sky!
Iggy: It's a bird!
Pat: It's a plane!
Lugia: Actually, that's Powers' helicopter.
Pat, Iggy, and Lemmy: Oh...
Lugia: He lands and walks out!
Lemmy: Ooh, look at that suit.
Iggy: If I wore clothing I'd envy him...
Pat: The crowd is booing him like heck!
Lugia: He doesn't seem to have a friend in the world right about now. A small section in the crowd: LET'S GO POWERS; LET'S GO!
Pat: Who is that?
Lemmy: I don't know. (Takes out some binoculars)
Pat: Well?
Lemmy: That's the Team Rocket section. Giovanni reserved about 20 seats for this match. It wasn't that hard to bring his top Rockets to Saffron City.
Iggy: Do you see Jessie and James?
Lemmy: No, but I see Butch and Cassidy.
Iggy: How about the Sundance Kid?
Lemmy: Huh?
Iggy: Why couldn't I be Ludwig's twin instead?
Lemmy: Because then you'd be ugly.
Iggy: Good point.
Lugia: Why is this match in Saffron City, anyway?
Lemmy: Because Giovanni paid big bucks for these tickets, so he got to decide where to hold it.
Lugia: That actually makes sense...
Pat: So, where's VGW?
Lemmy: He's coming...
Lugia: Look, the crowd is parting!
Lemmy: Is it Moses?
Iggy: You're an idiot...
Lemmy: Sorry...
Lugia: It's VGW, followed by Killer!
Iggy: What's he doing there?
Lemmy: He obviously wanted to cheer VGW on.
Pat: They're having a small conversation before VGW goes to the roof.
Lugia: Let's get Mash Toady down there!
Mash: I'm on it, Lugia. Let's see what they're saying.
VGW: Well, Kay, I'm about to enter the toughest battle of my life.
Killer: You sure you don't want any help? We can change this to team at any time...
VGW: I'll be fine... I hope.
Killer: Just for added insurance... (Draws his sword)
VGW: What?
Killer: (Holds Ultima X out) Take her.
VGW: But... She's so big. I can't wield her.
Killer: She'll wield herself. And trust me, you'll need her.
VGW: Okay... (Takes Ultima X)
Killer: Good luck; you'll need it...
Mash: Back to you, commentators.
Lugia: VGW not only has the Falcon Punch, the Charge Shot, the Quick Attack/Teleport, the PK Thunder, the Reflector, and the PK Magnet/Shield, he is now entering the arena with X in hand.
Lemmy: That wimp... He took the elevator to the top of Silph Co.
Iggy: Not everyone has memorized the warp tile pattern, Lemmy...
Lemmy: Good point.
Pat: He's in the arena glancing at Powers!
Iggy: Lakitu, see if you can get close enough to them to hear the conversation!
Lakitu: I'm on it!
Powers: You know you will never defeat me, VGW. Give up now while you're still in good health.
VGW: Never, Powers! I will defeat you once and for all. You will leave the Super Smash Stadium and we will be free of your treachery!
Powers: VGW, you never knew your place. You always considered yourself my equal.
VGW: I am your equal!
Powers: No, fool. You are just another of my minions!
VGW: You're right. I'm not your equal. I AM YOUR SUPERIOR!
Powers: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
VGW: I will defeat you and save the Super Smash Stadium! I know of all your plans! It was I who told everyone about you working for Giovanni!
Powers: IT WAS YOU?!?!? You shouldn't have said that in front of me, for now you've enraged me too much! Prepare to fight, VGW, as this will be your final battle!
VGW: It will not be my final battle, Powers, but yours! I will win! (Draws X)
Powers: A blade. You really think that thing can help you defeat me?
VGW: I can defeat you any day of the week!
Powers: Then let's go!
Lemmy: What day of the week is it anyway?
Pat: Saturday...
Iggy: No, it's Sunday.
Lugia: Actually, I think it's Tuesday...
Mash: The match is starting! Give your intros!
Lemmy: First, the rules for this fight.
Mash: Fine...
Lemmy: This battle is scheduled for one fall. There will be no items. There is no disqualification. The match only ends when one fighter hits the pavement.
Mash: Now the intros...
All: RIGHT!
Lemmy: (Clears throat) Ladies and Gentlekoopas...
Pat: Mushrooms and girls...
Lugia: ...Pokemon of all ages...
Iggy: Super Smash Stadium PROUDLY brings to you...
Lemmy: The Clown Prince, Lemmy K!
Iggy: The Four-eyed Iggy K!
Pat: The picture-making Pat VD!
Lugia: The legendary Lugia!
All: THE SUPER SMASH COMMENTATORS!
Lemmy: And now, for the thousand in attendance...
Iggy: And the millions reading worldwide...
All: LET'S GET READY TO SMASH IT!
Pat: And here they go!
Lemmy: Both fighters are charging up their Charge Shots!
Lugia: But which one is stronger?
Iggy: They're fully charged!
Pat: They let loose!
Lugia: The two shots hit each other and stop!
Lemmy: Powers may be stronger, but he's still beatable.
Iggy: Are you sure about that?
Lemmy: I hope so...
Pat: Powers shoots his blaster off at VGW!
Lugia: But he reflects it back!
Iggy: Too bad Powers dodged!
Lemmy: Powers jumps over him with a Final Cutter!
Lugia: That must've hurt!
Pat: VGW jumps back onto the top of the building at the right!
Lemmy: Powers taunts from the Silph Co. roof!
Powers: Weakling...
Iggy: VGW shoots a PK Thunder at him during the taunt!
Lemmy: Powers only has one percent damage on him from that?
Pat: His defense is too good...
Lugia: VGW will have to outsmart him.
Iggy: Too late for that! He's running in with both arms swinging!
Lemmy: Actually, one arm and one sword!
Pat: Powers is knocked back a bit!
Lugia: He uses Falcon Punch!
Iggy: But VGW sticks X in the ground and teleports to safety just in time!
Lemmy: I don't consider that safety! He just landed in the pokemon door!
Pat: Charmander comes out and uses Flamethrower!
VGW: VG MAGNET!
Lugia: VGW absorbs the flamethrower!
Iggy: Powers jumps over him and starts dropping bombs!
Lemmy: But VGW uses Teleport to get out of the way!
Pat: He appears right behind Powers!
Lugia: X is glowing!
VGW: ULTIMATE SLICE!
All: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
Lemmy: Ultimate slice only did four percent damage!
Iggy: But Ultima X can cut through solid steel without fail...
Pat: Powers is harder than diamond...
Lugia: VGW's a sitting Psyduck!
Lemmy: And not just any Psyduck, but Misty's Psyduck, the most worthless pokémon there is.
Iggy: Powers is running toward him!
Pat: But he teleports away!
Lugia: Can Powers teleport as well? I know he can do all the fighters moves...
Lemmy: Not without Ultima X he can't; at least unless he's a Pikachu. That's the only thing VGW has going for him.
Pat: Powers catches up with VGW and grabs him.
Iggy: It's Mario's spin throw!
Lugia: He's thrown!
Lemmy: He uses PK Thunder tackle to boost himself back up!
Pat: And as luck would have it, he hit Powers on the way!
Iggy: VGW uses VG Punch to knock Powers away from him!
Lemmy: But it does just a little damage.
Lugia: Powers throws a Luigi Fireball on VGW!
Pat: But he absorbs it! VGW really has those quick reflexes and thinking skills down.
Iggy: Powers runs toward VGW and hits him with a Falcon Kick!
Lemmy: That's gonna hurt in the morning!
Lugia: Powers seems way too powerful!
Pat: You can never be too powerful to be defeated by good.
Lemmy: Try telling that to King Dad...
Iggy: Listen, VGW will never win without a little help! I don't care if it's a no-item match! I'm throwing in some pokeballs!
Lugia, Pat, and Lemmy: Right! (They each throw in a pokeball)
Powers: Ha! I can get these as well!
Iggy: Darn...
Lugia: VGW and Powers each pick up a pokeball!
VGW: POKEBALL, GO!
Powers: Let's see what you've got... GO, POKEBALL!
Pat: VGW sends out a Pinsir!
Lemmy: That's Guillotine, he's mine.
Iggy: And Powers sends out a Scyther!
Lugia: The Pinsir runs at Powers and gets him with Vice Grip!
Pat: The Scyther calls in his swarm to attack!
Lemmy: Scythers are flying everywhere! Both Powers and VGW are slashed!
Iggy: VGW raises his shield to protect him, but Powers is still caught in the Vice Grip.
Lugia: They both go for the other pokeballs!
Pat: VGW gets... a Magikarp!?! Who threw that in there?!?!?!
Iggy: Sorry, that was me.
Pat: Iggy, you're washed up.
Lemmy: Powers gets a Dragonite!
Lugia: It uses Hyper Beam!
Pat: VGW is knocked about as far as he can go!
Iggy: But by some stroke of luck, Quick Attack brings him back up!
Lemmy: He has no chance to win!
Iggy: That's it! I'm going in there!
Lugia: WHAT?!?!?
Iggy: Like you said, Lemmy, it's no DQ. Come on, everybody! (Jumps into the Arena)
(The crowd starts to run toward the arena)
Powers: WHAT'S THIS?!?!?
VGW: "This" is my friends! They've come to help put you away! Everyone, ATTACK!
Iggy: DOUBLE SHOT!
Lemmy: BALL THROW!
Pat: KECHEE-HYUN-ELBOO!
Lugia: HYPER BEAM!
Kyle: KYLE PUNCH!
Killer: ULTIMA!
Yoshelly, Red Yoshi, Blue Yoshi, Yellow Yoshi, and Green Yoshi: EGG TOSS!
Mario, Wario, and Luigi: FIREBALL!
Link: BOOMERANG!
Donkey Kong: GREAT PUNCH!
Fox: BLASTER!
Samus: CHARGE SHOT!
Falcon: FALCON PUNCH!
Ness: PK FIRE!
Ash: POKÉ FIRE!
Kirby and Kirbetty: FINAL CUTTER!
Pikachu: PIKACHU! (THUNDER BOLT!)
Jigglypuff: PUFF! (POUND!)
Megaman: MEGA BUSTER!
Daffy Duck: FRISBEE TOSS!
VGW: BY FOCUSING MY MOVES AND THEIRS......ARMAGEDDON!
(VGW glows brightly. A huge blast of energy shoots out of him, hitting Powers head on)
Powers: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (Is knocked far, far away)
Giovanni: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again... (Runs away)
Rockets: (Run away as well.)
Post-Match:
The Superpowers thank me (though Killer
is also here)
VGW: I guess we showed him!
Lemmy: Don't mess with the SSS!
Iggy: That's "Don't mess with the S!" and it's SUPERMAN.
Lemmy: Umm... be quiet.
Pat: We're all so proud of you!
Lugia: You're the man, VGW! I guess your training paid off!
Killer: Yes, and if you don't mind... (Snatches X back) I'll be taking her home with me.
VGW: Oh, right...
Kyle: Still, I'm worried about the future of the stadium.
Mash: What do you mean?
Kyle: We don't have a president anymore...
Lemmy: (Stands up tall) I'LL TAKE CHARGE!
All: (Laugh hysterically)
Pat: (Whacks Lemmy with a trout)
Lemmy: HEY!
VGW: I'm going to see the others now. Later!
Mario: Way to show him, VGW!
Luigi: Yeah! You kicked his *** (rear end)!
Wario: MONEY!
Luigi: Umm... (Backs away slowly)
Mario: (Turns tail and runs.)
VGW: I got to see the others now. Bye!
Samus: We're finally rid of Powers for good!
C. Falcon: Yeah. Now, as you would say, this is no longer "Super Smooch Stadium."
Samus: Actually, I like Super Smooch stadium... (Takes off her helmet and kisses C. Falcon.)
C. Falcon: (Smiles) Okay. I DO like Super Smooch Stadium. (Grabs her and goes into a long passionate kiss.)
VGW: Oh, brother...
Kirby: Let's toast to that! (Kisses Kirbetty)
Kirbetty: You did great, VGW!
VGW: Umm... (Runs away until he sees the six yoshies)
Killer: (To the other Yoshies) So the lawyer says, forget the sapinna, my monkey doesn't drive a Lexus! (The other yoshies laugh)
VGW: I've heard that joke before from somewhere else, and I still don't get it...
Killer: Well I'm not telling it again...
Yoshelly: VGW, you did great, even if you did need some help at the end.
Red: Yeah. But considering how strong Powers is, you did great anyway.
Yellow: I'll have to agree with Red. And now that Powers is gone, you can be president!
VGW: Me?
Blue: Of course you! Who else would it be?
VGW: I don't know. Maybe Kyle, he was the vice president for a while...
Green: No, it has to be you.
VGW: Umm... (Runs to "The Furry Fighters")
Donkey Kong: Hi, VGW!
Fox: That was a great match!
VGW: Thanks guys.
Fox: You're welcome.
Donkey Kong: Ness, Ash, and the pokémon are celebrating over there (points into the distance.) They said to tell you.
VGW: Okay. (Walks over to Ness, Ash, and the pokémon.)
Ness: Hi, VGW! Didn't I tell you Absorption Shield would come in handy during the match?
VGW: No...
Ness: Well I meant to.
Ash: I'm glad you finally beat Powers. I was afraid he was going to try to make me marry Misty! (Laughs.)
VGW: I don't know... I think you two look cute together...
Ash: POKE-FIRE!
VGW: (Is burnt.) Of course, I could be wrong...
Ash: You're definitly wrong.
Pikachu: Chu pika pikachu! Pikachu, chu Pikachu ka chu pika. (You did great VGW! Without you, Team Rocket would run this place!)
Jigglypuff: PUFF! (Yeah!)
VGW: Thanks. I need to see the others now.
Link: Hey, VGW! Thanks for defeating Powers! Now I can be with Malon all the time without fear of being forced to get married!
VGW: You don't want to get married to Malon?
Link: Oh, it's not that. It's just... I'm only seventeen!
VGW: Good point.
Malon: And since Powers won't make us get married, I can kiss Link all I want now! (She hugs and kisses Link)
VGW: AAAHHHHH!!!!! (Runs away, toward Megaman)
Megaman: Hi, VGW. Great job in the match today.
VGW: Thanks. By the way, do you have any idea how much love there is in this place?
Megaman: Isn't love good?
VGW: You can overdose on anything, Mega. Remember that. I've got to get home. Later!
Lemmy: Well, that's everyone important!
Iggy: Everyone has gotten his or her comments in.
Lugia: All that's left are the questions.
Pat: Since VGW left, allow me...
Mash: And that's a wrap! Cut the cameras! (Cameras shut off)
Daffy: WHAT THE?!?!?!?!? It happened again! I get no rethpect I tell ya! None whatthoever. Why doethn't anyone ever come to talk to me?
Sprite Credits: